Listen I'm Aware All Of My Favorite Characters Would Murder Each Other In Cold Blood. I Know! But Let's

can he sit on your dash for a minute?? he'll be very polite :]

spideytorch bullet point fic

race car driver Johnny!

Johnny is a race car driver (that's he's only thing, not all the other stuff)

Peter is his boyfriend of course

he doesn't understand racing very much but still he goes to every race he can

Johnny has a really bad accident during one race like car flipped over and badly mangled

Peter has to be held back from running on to the track by their friend Bobby

it takes the med crew a bit to get Johnny out of the wreck and Peter is shaking the whole time

they get him out eventually and he's awake thank goodness

Johnny’s trying to spot Peter in the crowd so he can at least wave to him or smile at him

meanwhile Peter is crying in relief

there's blood coming from somewhere on Johnny’s head and his arm looks like it's been broken but he's awake smiling and alive

Johnny gets taken away in an ambulance while Peter and Bobby rush out of the stadium to meet him at the hospital

Bobby drives there because Peter is a wreck

Peter rushes in while Bobby parks and then waits in the lobby

Peter gives Johnny a hug

(which hurts but Johnny ties to hide it)

"All those tears for me?"

"Shut up you're such an idiot what were you thinking"

"I didn't try to crash!"

"I was so worried about you. I thought you were dead" *kisses*

Johnnys left arm is broken in two places, he fractured three ribs, and he has a concussion

he's out for the rest of the season because of all of that obviously

the next season Johnny wants to go back to racing and Peter doesn't want him to

they get into a massive fight about it

"Peter this is my life! It's what I do!"

"It almost killed you Johnny!"

"you're being overdramatic about it"

"you had two fractured ribs, the doctor said if they'd fully broken it would've punctured your lung!"

"but they didn't! I was okay!"

"That doesn't mean you go rushing back to the race track to try again."

"Peter I love this! I can't just stop because of one crash!"

"I can't- I can't watch that again Johnny. It was the hardest thing to watch since my uncle died."

"Then stop watching."

"Johnny-"

"if it's too hard to watch me do this then stop watching, cause I'm going back."

this ends with their breakup and they’re both heartbroken

but Peter doesn't stop watching

he always has the race on in the background making sure Johnnys okay

and Johnny still keeps the picture of Peter taped up inside of his car

the second to last race of the season the two cars in front of Johnny wreck bad and his attempt to avoid it send him swerving in a circle off the course

Peter screams while watching it at home

Johnny is able to walk out of the car on his own, no injuries but it definitely scared him

as soon as Peter sees him walk out of the car he turns off the race and rushes to the track

the race was in Delaware not close to Peter at all really but he doesn't care

he gets there after the race is over, it's night now but he's determined to see Johnny

Peter runs into Johnnys crew chief Ben and begs him to tell Peter where Johnny is

Ben tells him and Peter sprints to the hotel room in the middle of Ben wishing him luck

Peter bangs on the door frantic and out of breath

"Peter?"

"I'm so sorry" they both say at the same time

they talk and apologize and cry and kiss

"I was so scared Peter. There was a crash today and I-"

"I know, I was watching."

"You were?"

"I never stopped. I can't. I love you too much."

"I love you so much Peter. I missed you I'm so sorry for sending you away."

"I'm so sorry I let you."

they're officially back together before the night is over

and they’re engaged by the end of the year

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

A boy can dream, can't he?

reblog if you are not hemophobic!!

THIS should be on everyone’s blog!