YES, It’s Like, 7 X 3 = 21 Always Served Cunt And Was The Color Magenta, The Number 14 Give’s Chaotic

inspired by boop day, reblog this post if its ok for people to send you random asks and interact on your posts with no judgement. i want to talk to people.

Dune crack!au (5)

Feyd: Hey, Paul.

Paul: No.

Feyd: Husband dear?

Paul: Fine. What do you want now?

Feyd: Can I have my knives back?

Paul: No.

Feyd: Pretty please?

Paul: Still no.

Feyd: It’s been 2 months! I want my precious Giedi Prime knives back-

Paul: Not until you say sorry to Gurney and Stilgar.

Feyd: I did nothing wrong! I’m innocent!

Paul: You deliberately stole all of their clothes and made them into freaking tents and curtains!

Feyd: Actually, it was our dear

Princess Irulan who stole them.

Paul: That’s not the point!

Feyd: The point is that I, the gorgeous Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen was the one who made the sparkly sand proof tents and curtains-

Paul: Ugh. Muad’Dib, help me.

Feyd: My Lankiveil sewing skills are superior to-

Paul: F*ck your stupid Lankiveil sewing skills! Tell Gurney that you’re sorry right now!

Feyd: It was extremely hot and Irulan and I needed new curtains!

Paul: You could’ve just asked me for new ones instead of stealing Gurney’s galactic underpants-

Feyd: And ruin our yearly budget?! Our monthly savings?! The Arrakeen economy?! Not on my watch, husband. Not on my watch!

Paul: Feyd, babe, calm down-

Feyd: I want my knives back, Paul!

Paul: Give me one good reason-

Feyd: My daddy gave them to me.

Paul: Apologize first!

Feyd: I’m your wife!

Paul: And I’m the Emperor of the known universe!

Feyd: Fine! keep them! Burn them! Throw them away! I don’t care!

Paul: Feyd, listen-

Feyd: But I’m telling Irulan that you’re abusing your powers again.

Paul: No, not her! Don’t tell her-

Feyd: Irulan! Irulan, Paul is being a tyrannical control freak again!

Irulan: *runs in* Feyd, babe, are we in trouble?!

Feyd: Muad’Dib, no.

Irulan: Did our husband find out about our “math” business with Stilgar and his Fremen friends?!

Feyd: No, not yet.

Irulan: Oh, thank Muad’Dib.

Paul: But I’m Muad’Dib-

Feyd: Paul said that he’ll cancel our super secret ✨Music Nights with Shai-Hulud✨ and exclusive ✨Desert Festivals✨ again!

Irulan: *glares at Paul* You evil tyrant, how could you?!

Paul: I- I love ✨Music Nights with Shai-Hulud✨!

Feyd: You don’t even sing!

Paul: I do! I swear I do!

Irulan: Oh, stop changing the freaking subject, Paul!

Paul: Last I’ve checked, we’re still on the same page!

Irulan: You promised me that Feyd and I can sing freely in the desert with Stilgar every other night!

Feyd: Our dear husband also told me that the members of House Corrino are just a bunch of nerdy losers!

Paul: I- I was drunk!

Irulan: Chani! Chani, Paul is abusing his witchy powers again!

Chani: *walks in* Yo, what’s up, losers? How’s life?

Irulan: Our “beloved” husband said that your desert hair sucks!

Chani: He did not-

Irulan: He did!

Feyd: We’re telling the truth.

Paul: Chani bear, we all know that our dear “Drunk Irulan” and “Freaky Feyd-Rautha” are clearly lying-

Irulan: Drunk Irulan?! Who the f*ck is Drunk Irulan?!

Chani: Lol.

Feyd: Chani bear, your “Paular bear” also told me that you smell like a dying Shai-Hulud.

Chani: A what?!

Feyd: A dying ugly ass Shai-Hulud.

Paul: Chani-

Chani: Somebody is sleeping with the sandworms tonight!

Feyd: Yeah! The sandworms!

Irulan: Let’s go sandworms!

Paul: Ughhhh! I knew it! I knew I should’ve stayed single.

An homage to the first day of shooting for Call me by your name

requests guidelines ⭐️

please, if you request something, write a small blurb of what you’ll like to read! 

i make headcanons, blurbs, oneshots, song fics, smau’s, and (if and only if the ask is good enough) a series

i mainly write for a female reader with she/her pronouns and all that, but i’m up for gender neutral + male as well if you feel like it :) 

p.s. - there will be an event when i hit 100 - ari💗

requests — open

100 special event requests — ari’s dinner menu

✩ percy jackson — greek demigods (percy jackson, annabeth chase, luke castellan, grover underwood).

✩ books — the inheritance games (jameson hawthorne, grayson hawthorne, xander hawthorne), a good girl’s guide to murder (pippa fitz-amobi, ravi singh)

✩ f1 — lando norris, oscar piastri, charles leclerc, logan sargent, daniel riccardo, kimi antonelli, ollie bearman.

✩ miscellaneous series — criminal minds (spencer reid, aaron hotchner), future man (josh futterman, wolf).

✩ anime — jujutsu kaisen (satoru gojo, yuji itadori, choso kamo, nanami kento).

✩ people i don’t know how to classify — steve harrington, matthew gray gubler, timothee chalamet, peter parker, five hargreeves, josh hutcherson, riley poole, walker scobell.

I spent ten minutes on this. What a freaking weirdo man with his goldfish empty head expression

There’s not a thought between those eyes. Nor a brain cell

2020-2022 in a nutshell

Happy plagueiversary

Thank you @straight-fucking-laugh and everyone who got me to 500 reblogs!

at this stage in spencer’s life he’s living out being a horny teen, because he was 12 in high school

why does my man look like a cardboard cutout 😭😭

i was watching dts and i saw kimi and i OUT LOUD squealed “KIMIIIIIII!!!!”

My mom: So you struggle with same sex attraction

Me: No mother, I am quite successful