I Sat Behind Her In Class And I Saw A Kpop Stage Vid On Her Recommended Page 😳

If he ain't like this I don't want him /hj

Treat me like your toy, I’m made solely for your pleasure, be so very selfish with me, be greedy, be greedy, be so very greedy.

The thought of him haunts me. The desire to be near him, to be apart of his little friendgroup clouds my brain without my wish. Most of the time my brain can't help but to imagine my current situation in a world where my desires, or atleast a fraction of them are true.

But im still in my reality and the constant realizations hurt a lot. This is the closest I will probably get to romantic love in my life. A painful and overwhelming desire for someone I haven't talked to.

Gonna fast till Thursday noon. Right now it's only almost at hour 10, but gotta push thru it.

It would be food from store from this town that I won't be able to get before Monday otherwise. And like, the taste and texture of the food haunts me. I can't think abt anyhting else. Even that ill be able to eat other shit when I get home doesn't console me. I can't sleep because all I can think about is that food.

The fact that I acc have to resist the thought about skipping school just go and buy food is wild, cause the school in question is a short, nice and actually useful.

I am such an overeater that sometimes when I go to the toilet at night I half consciously grab a slice of bread from the kitchen.

Today when I came back from work I found a half eaten slice of bread next to my pillow. I don't even remember taking it from the kitchen which makes me wonder how many times have I eaten during the night that I have no clue of.

Tomorrow I'll have to go to the staff manager at my summer job and look over my contract. I should ask for more pay than last summer but idk how ughhh.

And then day after that I'll actually have ti go to work. In theory it's not that bad, but just the idea of it fills me with unlimited tread.

atp im convinced im made to be isolated from others. when i dont have particularly friends i have no problem going to classes and going thru my days without much distress. i have no problems socialising during group tasks and i make small talk but thats all. but if i get talking to a person in particular, outside of classwork, thru messages it quickly becomes too much and it causes me distress.

Mindlessly overeating just to be absolutely devastated about my body and inability to lose enough weight to feel like a human

i want someone to be violently obsessed with me. i want my existence to mean the world to someone

I really wish I had a good spot to cut at home. I have literally nowhere to do it and it's so unfortunate and frustrating.