My Cat Mozambique When He Was A We Lad, Used To Cuddle Inside Of The Plastic Water Bottle Crate With

DONT TAP ON THE FUCKING GLASS YOUR SCAREING THE BITCHES!!!

Trying to get a pet Moss ball

They look so cute I want themm

They literally do nothing they just sit there and look cute in their little jar just like me fr

Me : **looks into a job in radiology**

Spotify: here, have an indeed ad about how that job in particular sucks ass and you will be thrown down the stairs, love you pookie Baer💕 *buy my fucking premium you whore*

Okay so calling siblings shillings is okay but calling cats "pusslings" is too far? Wth

My pillow hiding my phone when mom walks in

Fuck

Fuck

Bro wiped out his hawk in desperation, sounds like a cool teacher tho

Attempting to get my students to fucking come to class

Oh my God new sport idea, so how it works is there's a group of like lets say ten people, get them completely stoned and how the game works is they first have to put on a white shirt provided, and then eat half a watermelon melon worth of a watermelon, WITHOUT, getting a mess on the white shirt while stoned on top of having to put it on first. First one to do this wins the t shirt and a Toyota car of their choice, none of that fancy Ferrari shit though.

would give anything to be invited to this