Favourite Pillows

Hey what happened!? Did someone shame you!

No… well they tried. I’m just having fun with it cause…

Please use the read more function, especially if it’s NSFW content.

My deepest APOLOGIES that after a 4am flight, writing, editing, linking and tagging etc I sometimes forgot to do Read More - I will try but if I forget it let’s ask ourselves… does it really fucking matter? No.

Todays you’re lucky day Anon because I woke up today and decided to be petty 💅🏼 Let’s go y’all!

Don’t come into MY inbox which is for REQUESTS, MUMBLING AND CACKLING about what I DO! Girl scroll on. Deadass, I am way too old to get told what to do on TUMBLR none the less.

I give PLENTY of warning about my NSFW content.

If you woke up and chose to die on a weird hill where you’re this self elected dictator of how people write on Tumblr to the point you want to nit pick other writers style and whether they missed something - I suggest a serious reality check. It ain’t that deep.

To everyone else Happy New Year! 🥰

To anon, get a job or pay my bills 😘

🥹🥹🥹

Bikini Bottom

pairing: Frat!Chris Evans x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: Frat!Chris falls lovesick and clings onto his girl for dear life, it doesn’t help when she’s parading around in a bikini. Overall, Y/n and Chris are the ultimate campus couple 💌 (lovesick puppy chris)

requests are open/likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated♥️

Chris Masterlist, Full Masterlist, Taglist Form

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Y/n posed in the mirror, rightly checking herself out in her newest bought black bikini, the underwear seamed with fine jewels. Hearing her friend’s bedroom door open she saw one of the head brothers of the frat, her boyfriend. Dressed in navy blue swim shorts, the brunette strolled over whistling out in awe, Chris' hands landing onto her sweet behind.

“Why don’t we just slip these off for a min?” He whispered placing his head onto her shoulder, making direct eye contact through the mirror. His fingers naughtily playing with the strings holding up her bikini bottom; giggling she pulled his hands off and turned to face him.

This was one of her first college parties of her sophomore year, it was her best friend’s Lucy’s pool party, and of course a certain frat was invited.

“How’d ya know I was in here pretty boy?” She smiled combing back his hair underneath his backwards cap, his hands now climbing up her waist and settling on her ribcage.

“Little birdy called Lucy told me, how long were you gonna hide all this from me then?” Chris growled grabbing a handful of ass once again, smiling contently as Y/n leant up and kissed his lips gently. Her hands cupped his face while he fondled her softly, his hands going up to her breasts and copping a few feels.

Despite him being a senior, Chris couldn’t help but feel enamoured by the girl in his arms, and it all started because he knocked on the wrong dorm door; the rest was history. Even though frats have this reputation, Chris definitely put his to rest, the poor guy was seen following her around campus like a lost puppy. Holding her books for her, walking her to her lectures, spending his weekends in her bed, taking her home for thanksgiving and even proclaiming their relationship on his social media.

“God how are you all mine? Is life even real right now?” He moaned against her lips, pecking her twice more, their lips moulding perfectly together. Her hands playing with the St.Christopher medallion around his neck, as she pecked his cheek once before turning back around to face the mirror, placing his arms around his waist.

Now Y/n was definitely the more keep to herself kind of girl, her social media was private yet it adorned over 1k followers, courtesy of being Chris' girlfriend. Her only post was one of her dog from years ago, so Chris was pretty shocked when she reached for her phone and told him to pose with her.

She turned halfway, her ass to the camera with his hands gripping onto it for dear life, both of their lips connected in a passionate kiss for all to see, his other hand held onto her waist whilst she held onto his bulging bicep.

“Well that was a lovely surprise” Chris laughed wiping the side of his lips, his shock deepening when he saw her caption it with,

“I’m a handful, but only his handful 🍑” Before pressing post.

“Now what have I done to deserve a place on your VIP post”

“I think it’s time people know for real that you’re taken, and that i’m taken too. I’m serious about you ya know?” Y/n said throwing her phone onto a table, her eyes landing on Chris’ chest on the multitude of tattoos covering it, her heart pounding waiting for what he had to say.

“I’ve said it a hundred times, and i’ll say it again. This is for life baby, I already know it yeah? Doesn’t matter that I graduate this year, because you know damn well i’ll still be up your fine ass every second I get-“

“Chriss stop ittt” She whined embarrassed, his arms caging around her waist so her head laid on his chest, his lips peppering kisses onto the top of her head,

“Come on, we’re missin the pool party and I still wanna see you all wet and-“

“I swear Chris say another word and you’ll be sleeping on my doormat instead of my bed, that you love oh so much” Y/n said playfully turning around as they walked back out the room, Chris' lips forming into a big pout, “You’d really do your future husband like that huh?”

Now when I say they stuck together, they meant it. Whether it be them clinging onto each other in the pool, or her making sure he had enough sunscreen on him and food in him. The campus couple everyone strived to be like, but no one could; no one could love like they do.

“You comin back to mine tonight baby?” Y/n asked rubbing her hand softly over Chris’ stomach, looking up at him from her place on his chest, the sun-bed somehow fitting them both. The alcohol slowly taking its effect in Y/n as she felt more drowsy, although Chris made it a rule for himself not to drink when at parties with his girl, he had to make sure she was safe. Her safety always comes first.

Chris knew that once they got back to her place there’d be an array of activities going on, from cuddles all the way to full on make-outs, whatever it takes to get his precious princess to sleep. Heck sometimes he’d even have to scratch her back to sleep, or she’d request for him to be inside her as she slept (Chris' favourite method)

“Of course I am, is that even a question? I can’t skip out on my newfound skincare routine, and I still need to feed your fish because I swear you don’t feed the little guy enough”

Y/n smiled up as the man beneath her babbled on and on, Chris had ultimately become a major part of her life, hell her parents loved him more than they loved her at this point. Sure at first she was wary with his social position in the frat, but on the inside he’s a big cuddly bear that needs a lot of lovin. Lovin that she’s extremely willing to give.

Chris fell first, and he fell even damn harder.

———

Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @patzammit @pandaxnienke @stormcloudss @stuckysgirl27 @bval-1 @vrittivsanghavi @dumb-fawkin-bitch @emvebee @chrisevansdaughter @cevansgurl @marvelgurl @evanstanwhore @mirikusashes @taramaria @mysticfalls01 @hallecarey1 @misshale21 @mischiefsemimanaged @thereisa8ella @uwiuwi @diyabhanushali1 @angelmather1 @lastwandastan @ravenhood2792 @feltonswifesworld87 @fdl305 @bluebellsn @mdpplgtz03 @alexxavicry @bookfrog242 @alina02 @roofwitty779 @aerangi @s-void @oliviah-25 @nikkitc0703 @meetmeatyourworst @imboredat2am @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mansaaay @adoreyouusugar @annajustwrites @caps-shield1918 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @xoxokiaraaxoxo @royalwriteroftheuniverse @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chrisevansangel @tinyelfperson @madebylilly @bxdbxtxh15 @tojisbabymomma @kimhtoo17 @itsaylayay1213 @mrspeacem1nusone @ninasw0rld

Hey, I have an inspiration request that I want you write, please. It's about the reader being a Victoria secret model and married to Chris Evans. One day, reader was in the fashion show and Chris is there with his brother, scott. he was there support her

My Angel 

A/N: Ok so while I’m not a huge fan of VS Fashion Shows (we all know) I shamelessly attended many VS sleepover watch parties and those girls got it! Queens! So for the purpose of this fic we are gonna do the Adam Levine (🤢) and Behati Prinsloo (🥰) outfit/moment. Linked here.

The stylist fiddled with your diamanté encrusted bodice. You took deep breathes as they adjusted and tightened at your body while easing your feet into the intricate knee length sandal heels.

You’ve walked runway plenty of times, it was your job for god’s sakes but when you were offered the chance to be a VS Angel let alone the Snow Angel while you couldn’t turn it down, you had reservations about walking down one of the biggest shows in the world in your underwear none the less.

Anxious how your husband, Chris Evans, would feel about the whole world seeing what only he does. Let’s just say his reaction was better than expected…

“Are you kidding me? You’re doing it. Omg baby that’s incredible! My girl, my wife, a VS Angel, holy shit!”

“Are you sure?? Chris I’m going to be in my UNDERWEAR, your mom will see it!”

“And…? She’ll be cheering you on just as hard as me. It’s a job honey, I’ve gotten in my underwear plenty of times.”

“That is true I’m just nervous I guess with everyone watching.”

“Hey, you’re gonna blow them away - I’ll be in the crowd, and you can look at me and it’ll be like no one else is there. Just pretend you’re strutting your stuff for me in the bedroom, it’s not different than what you do every night.” He purred the last line pulling you in by your waist.

“You’re still my Angel though.” He looked down at you, biting his lip as he stared into your eyes.

“Always your angel, baby” You kissed him.

The memory of last month was interrupted by the producer calling you.

“Y/N you walk in 2… go line up! Now!”

With only seconds to spare, you breathed in once more, planted on a smile and walked down to the sound of Trouble by Taylor Swift.

Walking the runway in long, gracious strides, waving your hands on either side of you to the crowd.

Grabbing Taylor’s hand and giving it a squeeze as you swanned past her.

And there he was. Front row. Centre stage.

Smiling like a Cheshire Cat at the sight of you. Grabbing Scott’s jacket, next to him, he shook him a little and pointed up to the stage, his face like a kid who just saw an ice cream van.

He stood up, hollering and hooting, cupping his hands around his mouth to extend the sound of

“That’s my wife!” “Go baby! Yes! Go Y/N.”

Scott next to him had equal enthusiasm as they clapped and cheered.

You made your way to the tip of the stage. You were going have fun with the large, fluffy wings on your back, grabbing onto the hidden handles tucked into the outrageous white feathers, you thrashed the wings inwards and outwards in a dramatic fashion as the chorus beat dropped.

Leaning forward, your eyes landed on Chris’s, blowing a kiss and winking at him.

He blew it back and the camera caught the romantic interaction between two lovers.

Once the show had ended and you had changed into a more modest outfit, you met Chris at the after party.

Spotting him immediately, he held out his hands ready to catch you as you ran towards him, jumping on him and wrapping your legs around his torso.

“Omg baby! You killed it.” His hands on your ass supporting you mid-air.

“Really?” Your hands cupped his head looking at him as his chin rested on your chest comfortably, his grip on you never faulting.

“Yes, now the whole world knows how good my Angel is.” He smirked; you bowed your head down to plant a kiss on his lips. He placed you on the floor to let you go hug your friends and family.

His hand stayed firmly on your waist, beaming with pride at your performance and feeling just a little smug that he’s married to a VS model.

They come to other people's page and tell them how to manage it?! Wow...

OH I KNOW HONEY

oh you should definitely write about Chris marrying the love of his life, reader who is a well-known director. Reader meets chris's "ex rp" , alba B, who is trying to get the part of the movie that she was directing but reader says no! LOL

This is such a horrible and mean request…

I love it cannot wait to write it 😌💕

Going to wait till everything cools down though cause I need confirmation that miss girl is truly an ex also don’t need to be wrapped up in a scandal. 🤠

I’ve also been blocking this out so please put a TW next time you bring up her name. In my universe she simply does not exist ✨

Please note I am a hater first and a feminist second 💅🏼💕

Headcanon ideas

.Super curious Chris about pregnancy that is sooo cute and annoying for his pregnant wife

.Chris start to cheer his gf up.how?with stupid cheesy pick up lines

Headcanon: Better Half

Loooveeeeee this!

"Why da face?" Chris walked in your shared bedroom, oreos in hand with one half way in his mouth.

You rolled over dramatically, pulling the covers under your chin

"Just that work thing, I have to work with that lazy, mother-."

"Carol." He said flatly

"Yes! Carol! It's always Carol."

He plumped in the spot next to you.

"Hey honey..." He cooed.

"What." You sat up, moving next to him.

Twisting the oreo in his hand, he moved the frosted side in your direction.

"You're my better half." He said, showing a goofy grin.

You paused, staring at him with a flat expression, the corner of your lip creasing slightly, you couldn’t hold back the all out laughter.

"You're the cringiest person i have ever met." You gasped through laughs.

"Yeah but it worked to make my girl smile didn't it"

You grabbed the cookie half from him, shoving the whole thing in your mouth.

Your Chris's fluff alphabet was great. Can you write a smit alphabet?

Chris Evans | NSFW Alphabet

A/N: I cant write a smit one but I can write a smut one. Lol. But also thank you cause I love these and loved my fluff one!! If anyone wants any fics on any of the letters send it to my inbox babies x

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Chris will want to remain inside of you for a while after you’re both done, just catching his breath plus he likes the feeling of being inside of you but eventually you’ll shove him until he gets up and goes to the bathroom. He comes back with a warm cloth and then slowly cleans you up, making sure you’re alright, asking you your favourite part (He loves hearing he did good, mans has a praise kink). Then he’ll make sure you pee (YOU HAVE TO PEE) because he knows UTIs aint pretty and doesn’t want to be the reason you get one. Sometimes you’ll have a shower together and he’ll wrap you up in a towel and then takes you back to bed, cuddle with you and pat your hair until you’ve fallen asleep. Sometimes if you both aren’t completely dead by the end, he’ll open the door and let Dodger back in, make you both tea and you’ll cuddle while watching a movie.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

His hands calloused and rough his fingers fit perfectly around your throat, and he always knows the right kind of pressure to apply with his fingers against your skin or your pussy. You can’t get enough of his long digits deep inside of you or down your throat as you taste yourself on him. He also loves how good his hand looks around your pretty little throat, the way your eyes roll back into your head, and you gasp a little at the partial loss of air.

Everyone thinks Chris is an ass guy… and he is but your tits make him go wild. He’s arguably toeing the line over into tit guy territory. He always wants to have his face in them, even if you’re just sitting on his lap innocently, he calls them his favourite pillows. During sex, they’re always one of the main places he goes, just licking and sucking and nibbling on your nipples knowing it makes your back arch and you let out a gaspy moan. He loves the sound.  He’s also gotten very used to tit jobs and while they don’t do much for you, you love how excited he gets, mounting you and putting his cock between your tits.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

Chris has a massive breeding kink, so the idea of you filled with his cum turns him on beyond belief and he wants as much of it in you as possible. Which includes shoving the oozing cum back in you with his fingers once he cums in you. Sure, you look absolutely gorgeous to him when its covered over your cheek and you show him his load on your tongue before you swallow but nothing beats a good cream pie.

The thought of putting a baby in your warm, soft womb and it being his, how nice and round your belly would get with his baby – drives him nuts. He’ll wait a little longer though for the real thing.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

You get a pedicure every month and always pearly white toes and Chris always asks to see them after, rubbing your feet, giving your toes a cheeky suck. He loves how they look against his cock when you tease it with your feet. It’s not an outright foot fetish but he does find your feet weirdly sexy, especially in heels or sandals. Especially the fact that they’re connected to your strong, curvy legs.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

The man has history and he’s not ashamed of it. He always says there may have been girls before you but you’re the one in his bed every night so who cares. You weren’t no angel either! He always tells you the sex with you is different and he hasn’t experienced that level of intimacy and love with anyone else, plus you two are always doing new things together so it’s not like you haven’t had firsts with each other.

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

One week when Chris took you away to the cabin, he pulled out the Kuma Satra and you attempted every position in the book. Granted, some required flexibility that neither of you two could muster but it was one of the best weeks of his life. Trying out new things, you two never leaving the bedroom except for food and water. He loved it.

But the classics are still his favourite, particularly doggy in front of the mirror. This way he can see your pretty face when you cum. He loves how good you look with your back curved, ass high up in the air. He’ll bend over a little and put his fingers in your mouth or around your throat or force you to look at yourself by pulling on your hair. The angle is the best for both of you, with Chris hitting the super deep spots and you not having to do much work. He loves watching your ass jiggle and ripple when he has you in doggy, he can’t get enough of the thickness of your ass and how it feels when he rolls it around in his large hands, trying to get as much as he can.

But when he’s feeling a bit more romantic and intimate, it’s just classic missionary. He can look at your face and kiss your neck, intertwine your fingers, and hold your hands above your head. he likes it when you wrap your legs around him, trying to take him as deep as possible and the way your chest presses up against his, that alone drives him crazy.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in that moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

The Kuma Satra week ended a lot of the time with you both falling into each other, laughing your heads off. He likes how you don’t take it too seriously all the time and he can joke or tease you a bit. Sometimes in doggy or when he’s going down on you, he’ll make a stupid joke saying he found a mole you’ve never seen before, looking up at you smirking. Early on in your relationship you named his dick “The Captain” and while at first, he groaned and told you not to call it that, he got on with the inside joke quickly. He’ll come up behind you and say, “The Captain is on alert.” Then rub his boner against you, or text you that “The Captain misses you”.

We love The Captain.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes)

You banned Chris from shaving his snail trail because you just loved it so much. When he doesn’t have to shave his chest for movies, you’re the happiest girl alive. You love the big manly chest. Down low, he keeps it trimmed, it’s much like his beard in texture and length.

As for you, he says he doesn’t like hair in his food, but you were waxing way before he came along so it didn’t matter. A little hair isn’t going to stop him though so if you get lazy and let it grow, he treats it all the same. He knows better than to start telling a woman what to do with her body.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Chris feels that intimacy isn’t just sex. It’s the little jokes you share or the soft squeeze of your waist to pull you closer. He’s a complete and utter romantic normally, and sex really comes into that.

He cried having sex with you once and when you thought you had done something completely wrong, he just looked up and said

“Sawrry its not you… well it is… I just got a little emotional about how much I love you and how lucky I am to be so close to you… its nothing though we can keep going if ya want. Sorry it’s probably not the biggest turn on to have a guy cry during sex” Safe to say you cried as well.

He thinks what you two have is super special and loves every second he gets to be close to you in that regard. He likes the ritual of lighting a candle, giving you a nice massage or putting rose petals on the bed just because.

He’s intense, when he’s deep inside of you, looking into your eyes and your hands are interlocked he’ll tell you he loves you with complete earnest laced in his voice. He loves that he’s able to be so intimate and vulnerable with you and only you. He thinks sex between you two is sacred and goes above just fucking – it’s an act of love and devotion for him and he makes that known every time.

J = Jack off (Masturbation head canon)

While nothing beats the feeling of you, long stretches of time away meant he had to take matters into his own hands (literally). Doesn’t mean he doesn’t take all the help he can get even to the point of spraying your perfume on the pillow and pulling out a pair of your panties from his luggage. And obviously, facetiming you no matter how tired he is. Being able to see your face and hear your voice as you egg him on sends him over the edge. He loves watching you doing your thing on camera, turning him on. He’ll lock the door and silence his phone, so all his attention is on your pretty little face.

When your miles away and fast asleep, he’ll go off the endless photos and videos on his phone of you… some with clothes on and some not…

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

The way you call him Daddy drives him wild, you’d never do it in front of people, but he loves hearing it. The way you release into his strong figure, letting him take control of things. He loves how cock drunk you get, unable to talk with him inside of you as he pry your mouth open with his thumb, rubbing it along your lower lip.

Pulling your arms behind your back in doggy and holding them secure with his hands is the nice and quick old-fashioned way. But you’ve got a little time, he’ll get out the fluffy handcuffs, they were a joke at first, but he loves watching you squirm, unable to touch his chest, his arms, his face or your clit, desperate for a release.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom obviously is the top option; everything you need, endless privacy and the bathroom is right there.

But you both get a secret kick out of event bathrooms, doing a sneak away, one at a time to be discrete. The last person closing the door behind them and immediately you two jumping on each other, literally, you’ll jump him, and he’ll catch you readily, lips attached yours as he places you on the sink while your hands fall to his belt, trying to get it undone as quickly as possible.

The back of cars get too stuffy and aren’t your favourite, but he’ll slip his fingers under your dress and tease your clit a bit or you’ll palm him over his pants maybe even stroke it a little before you have to get out, both now horny and frustrated till the moment you can sneak away.  

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you wear his clothes.

When you’re sweaty after a workout, he reckons you taste like a beautiful, salty/sweet mix and he loves how you look in leggings.

When you have to jump a little to get something off a high shelf or when running up the stairs and your boobs bounce, and a ripple falls across your whole body.

 Anything tight and sexy that shows off your soft skin and the curve of your body – he adores. When you have to be serious for a work call or a meeting. He could watch you talk all day in your professional voice over zoom, hair in a claw clip and glasses on your face, only he can see the tiny shorts your wearing under the desk. He calls you his sexy receptionist and he’d stare at you all day if he didn’t want to rip your clothes off.

But his true motivation, is people flirting with you. All the ogling eyes, lingering stares, and poor attempts to whoo you motivate him more to pull you closer, take you home and prove to you, who really deserves your love and that he’s the only guy allowed to take you to bed.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Three ways and above. Chris was never good with sharing growing up so there is no way in hell that he would ever share his favourite thing in the world… you. People think you have this open Hollywood relationship, but it couldn’t be further from the truth because he is extremely loyal and holds you to the same standard, he holds himself. 100% Monogamous. He wants to be the only one making you cum. (and he gets jealous way too easily)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves when you get on your knees and worship his cock, and all your little tricks you do with your tongue and mouth. But he much prefers the way you react when he goes down on you.

He loves overstimulating you and making you go crazy; he knows if you say stop you don’t really mean it (you have another safe word) because your hand is pulling his head deep into your core. He’ll pull your legs over his shoulders, get a firm grip on the skin of your ass and pin you down to the bed and his favourite, using his strength to pin you up against the wall effortlessly no matter your size. He won’t stop until you’re completely out of juices to cover his beard with. He loves the taste of you on his tongue, the feeling of you pulling on his hair and leaving red marks on his back. He doesn’t care if he can’t really breathe while he’s being smothering by the beautiful, soft, plump skin of your thighs. Lapping, sucking, nibbling, and rubbing with his tongue and fingers.

Chris thinks he has a magical tongue… and he does, he just doesn’t let you hear the end of it. He will always go down on you first, he likes it even more than getting head. He’ll be between your legs, licking and sucking up every drop of your sweet goodness, spitting on your folds, inhaling the scent of you and holding you down as you try and wiggle out of his grip. It’s a lot of “Give me one more baby.” And “God, you go crazy for my mouth don’t ya sweetheart?” He’s such a dick about it but you love him between your legs so you’re not gonna complain. He’s not just using it on your pussy... no… he’s licking at your ear, rolling it along your thighs or your lower back and shoving it in your mouth whenever he gets the chance – he always tastes either like mint gum or beer… and sometimes both and it’s a delicious mixture that makes you go weak.

Especially, when you’re on your stomach and he can move his tongue up towards your tight little hole, teasing it to prepare it for his finger.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough, slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends, sometimes sex is for you two to reconnect in an intimate, sexual “I missed you” way and then its slow and sensual with lots of slow, deep wet kisses and you can enjoy feeling every vein of him against your walls.

But other times, to get you both over the edge it’ll move into the vigorous pace of his balls slapping against your pussy and his cock pounding into you so you can feel every hit of your cervix.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickie, how often etc.)

With Chris’ schedule you don’t get many nights together and you both kind of like the sudden thrill of ripping each other’s clothes off to get as close as you possibly can. Wherever and whenever you can, his pants will be at his ankles and your dress ridden up, with you pushed against the nearest wall or surface. You stopped wearing underwear so frequently so he could always have easy access. It always ends with you just making sure your dress doesn’t look weird after a quickie in the bathroom and you trying to push him off because he keeps kissing and rubbing on you saying he wants more. But you always end, smiling from him kissing every inch of your face and tickling your sides to emit those cute little giggles.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

If no one gets hurt… he’ll do it. While you two don’t do anything super crazy, he gets a kick out of reading some bizarre sex tip online or seeing some crazy position and then doing it with you. He brought a massage candle and went crazy for the feeling of you pouring hot wax on his chest. He likes trying new things because he figures you never know what crazy idea will make its way onto your permanent list of activities.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He goes well for his age, as long as you cum at least twice he’s happy. Hell, he could go all day with breaks for meals. One time as a “joke” he took Viagra. He didn’t need it; a buddy just gave it to him as a joke and he took it. You both were sore for the next 2 weeks because he couldn’t stop fucking you. You tried a thousand different things to try and get him over the edge, you were up till 4am until sleep gave in. It was fun but the mix of horniness and inability to cum just made him go crazy. You promptly banned him from ever taking it again.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

The drawer. You two are kinky, so you have a whole drawer in his bedside table dedicated to toys. Handcuffs, rope, blindfolds, butt plugs, vibrators, dildos, vibrator remotes – you don’t always use them (because you don’t have to) but it’s always fun when you have time and want to get a little extra spicier. He’ll sometimes lean over and grab the little bullet vibrator he got for you and place it on your clit while he’s fucking you, for that little extra push to get you over the edge.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Chris is a massive tease whether it’s coming out of the bathroom holding his towel so it’s just covering the Captain or coming up behind you, barely scraping his crotch against your ass. Always the non-cholent, faux innocence asking you what you’re doing, how you are feeling, if you want some loving. Running his hands down your sides, moving them towards your hips and ass and giving you soft grabs, pinching at your rolls to make you giggle. Then you’ll confront him and ask him what he’s doing, and he’ll go all “Oh nothing… don’t worry about it.”

Sometimes, he’ll even just pretend not to care when you’re in the mood, giving you “hmms and umms” not looking up from whatever he’s doing just to see how long you can take it. Like a fucking psycho.

He knows not to tease you too much when you’re in the mood or in the moment or you’ll start crying from frustration, Chris doesn’t want his baby crying he just wants to make you feel good. He also can’t keep his hands off you for long.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

There’s no need to be quiet with the house to yourself so Chris is full of groans and grunts, even a little bit of whining if you tease him too long, to the point your neighbours probably think he’s in pain…

But he loves how much you love dirty talk whispered in your ear.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon)

Your period and Chris’ schedule don’t always see eye to eye. Meaning when he comes home after a long time away and all he wants to do is bury his cock in you, a bit of blood is the last thing that’s going to stop him. He’ll throw a towel down and never makes a big deal if a little gets on him, it’s just a period. You also enjoy it more (if that’s even possible with Chris), all your hormones running wild, orgasms and sensations are heightened. He notices it a huge help with your mood swings and cramps so now he just sees it as a win-win situation.

He’s not putting his head down there though.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

We’ve all seen it. That shit is as thick as a coke can.

So, Chris knows that before he even tries to push it there must be lube. Whether that’s the good stuff from the bottle, his spit or him taking extra time to get you really turned on beforehand. Because there is no way that thing is slipping in raw. He’ll always make sure to mention how tight you are around him and how good you take his cock.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Pretty fucking high… but not to exhaustion.

If Chris is at home, you’re doing it 4 times a week minimum. Morning, during breakfast, lunch, before bed, middle of the night – it doesn’t matter if you’re both game and wanting. It’s impressive for his age and he doesn’t isn’t the old man he claims his is with all that energy to please you. You think he’s trying to make up for all the times he’s away. Maybe if he wasn’t away for half the year it’d be steady and normal but he always comes home ravenous and desperate for you.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep)

After a hot and heavy love making session, once you’ve both done the necessary aftercare you are both spent. Chris nuzzles his bearded chin into your chest or neck and falls right asleep in your warm embrace and you both drop off pretty quickly. But don’t worry he’ll be nudging you awake at 2am for round 2.