If You Have Written A Batman Story That You Think Is Actually Legit, Go Ahead And Submit That To DC.

Can confirm, actual home video of me. Don't judge, I was a young thing back then.

Bet You Love Cat With a String. I’ll Raise That Bet With a Cougar with a String.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Not too much dialogue going on in the early stages. The gvTobi is distracted by _why_ shadow clone sex would be a thing. "What would the appeal be?" and Sugar!Tobi is trying to explain how "Y'know when they dispel and you get their memories? It feels pretty good. Besides, he's an exhibitionist and so...it can be fun to tease him. I think it might be an Uchiha thing, that they like to look."

Upon hearing this, gvTobi is curious whether the original would come after a clone dispels after orgasm. (Which sounds impractical)

SugarTobirama nods, "It does for me. I usually have a clone work if there isn't too much to deal with; I prefer to enjoy Madara personally." 

The younger makes a face. "Can you imagine if it dispelled when you were near an Inuzuka?" 

The older shrugs, nodding his agreement. That would be unbelievably embarrassing.

"I enjoy indulging Madara's fantasies every so often and clones are just another way to do that. Even if I didn't get anything out of the act itself, the look on his face..." He smiles just enough to look wicked. "What would be strange is using a clone henged into someone else..." 

He pauses and thinks the statement over before eying the seal-covered version of himself. He might be wondering if henging a clone into an alternate reality Tobirama would count as strange.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

(Picture 1)

Meanwhile, an older Madara is lecturing the younger one. "Listen, if you pursue this when you get back and if you have enough talent in bed, Tobi's going to fall into subspace and you need to be paying attention to that. It took me forever to catch on to why he'd get so depressed sometimes and it's not like he knew what was going on. The first time we slept together I left afterwards and he dropped hard, not that he said anything until ages later. So. Don't leave yours to go through that alone, understand?"

He looks over at the other Madara, who seems confused. "Is yours a sub? Because if he is, you need to take care of him, too. Don't think separate universes will keep me from kicking your ass if you screw up the way I did."

(Picture 2)

The older sugar!Madara flushes at his alternate's tone, slightly ashamed. "I started out just sleeping with him to try to preemptively spoil him for future lovers. It was a rush to think about how anyone else who touches him would be being compared to me and be lacking. Falling in love with him wasn't something I planned."

The younger makes a considering noise and turns his attention back to the Tobiramas. There is no denying that he feels very much the same way; the look on 'his' Tobirama's face had been fascinating, so full of yearning when he had seen his alternates kneeling. Obedient. The man in question turns as if feeling the weight of Madara's gaze on him. Their eyes meet. There is...potential. Maybe even enough to pursue the Senju with the right ideas from the start. Tobirama ducks his head a little and turns back to the conversation, but his ears are burning red.

"Six years? It's good to hear that. We've just passed our first..." Sugar!Madara is equally smitten-looking. "Hashirama tried to throw a party. It's a good thing he's terrible at planning festivities; we managed to get an away mission and had our own celebration." (They had rooted out a group of murderous bandits and Tobi had gotten to indulge his own kink regarding Madara and his armor, wild and aggressive on a battle high)

My problem is that I have the heart of a Robin with the body of a Penguin.

The world isn't ready for another Danny Devito I gotta try to make things better for my next round

No notes, just joy

Thinking back to this panel, I think Tim has an opportunity to be the biggest little shit if truth serum gets involved.

Villain: With that truth serum flowing through Batman's little sidekick's veins, he will have no choice but to reveal the bat's deepest secrets.

Tim (as Robin): So whatever I say now will have to be accepted as the truth, no matter what?

Villain: Yes, because you have no other options.

Tim:

Tim: Batman called me dad once.

Okay, hear me out. I know it's not canon that Jason drugged the other Titans during the Titans Tower Incident; he electrocuted two of them and then drugged the third.

But we're playing in the au's like bitch whatever, DC retcons and rewrites at the slightest provocation and we are here for stories, right?

And a lot of Titan's Tower au's have Red Hood drugging more people than in canon. And every time it happens there's an absolutely terrible little voice in the back of my head going, "Jason is so lucky that no one he drugged was hiding a substance abuse issue like Roy did. Jason is so lucky that none of these teenagers-to-young-adults who are incredibly physically active and who have so many traumas took some physician-prescribed, completely legal pain medications or anxiety pills or muscle relaxants. He is so lucky that any daily upkeep medication didn't cause a catastrophic drug interaction with the unknown. Heck, Jason is so lucky that whatever drugs he used were perfectly tailored to each individual's body mass and species."

I'm not saying I want a fic where Jason accidentally makes a young hero OD, but I think it would be interesting and darkly funny if Tim made him think he might have.

"You drugged everyone? Wait, even (X)?! What did you use, did you check to see if they took their benzos before you drugged them? (Y) Is allergic to propofol, was that part of the stuff you used?"

"Look, you can have the fight you want, just let me make you none of my friends are choking on their own vomit first."

Unpopular Opinion Time

I don’t ship Sirius Black with Remus Lupin and while I’ve read good fics with them as a couple it usually strikes me as a lazy pairing.

The basis of their relationship seems to be that hey were friends for years and they hugged after being reunited.

I actually got into a legit argument about this once and was accused of being a homophobe. Personally, I think that turning them into a couple based on this scant character development is perpetuating a culture of toxic masculinity. Two men showed love and relief and are now ‘super gay for each other omg otp’

I think Sirius Black is hetero pre-Azkaban and too mentally injured to call himself by any labels post-Azkaban. (He spent ten years having portions of his soul sucked out of him, it was going to take a lot more years than he was given after that to rediscover who he is, let alone have a sexual identity.)

Remus I can see as hetero or pan. He would likely focus on pursuing female companionship over male simply because he is already ‘different’ enough as a werewolf and would desire a sense of normalcy.

And even if they were both gay, that does not necessitate that they would automatically be attracted to one another. It’s a common theme found in a lot of amateur stories that the token gays must be paired with each other rather than seek a single life or date outside of the friend group.

Anyway, it’s 6:30 AM and that argument from my high school years is running around in my head, so here’s my belated rebuttal being tossed into the internet.

(Also I got a discord? https://discord.gg/qwPzVtr I still don’t know how to technology very well, but I’ll hopefully be more active over there. Tumblr’s editing system isn’t all that intuitive for me unfortunately.)

I remember seeing a post a while ago which message was basically that you should force yourself to like female characters even when they're written to be mid or even just poorly because it's part of unlearning sexism or something, like you need to "learn to like them", and man, I really don't like this stance at all, because what it basically says is that you should lower your standards when it comes to female characters. But there are absolutely amazingly written female characters that you don't need to "force" yourself to like because you just do naturally, because they're just written right, and it doesn't require "work" and "convincing yourself to care" or anything like that. It is absolutely possible to write them, and I'm justified in wanting more of them instead of "forcing myself to like" poorly written characters whose authors couldn't even force themselves to care about them on the first place. It feels backwards to me that many people expect otherwise and call it misogyny when viewer isn't willing to do the writer's work in places where writer didn't do theirs. I do appreciate it and think it's really cool when people take poorly written characters and remake/expand on them within a narrative to be actually interesting and multidimensional, it is really cool that people do that, but also you can't expect that every person who interacts with original media will do the same kind of mental gymnastics and additional work and accuse them of terrible misogyny when they're interpreting the characters the way they were presented to them in original material as is.

@malfiora found it for me so I'm gonna share it! I genuinely love this so much, it's such a Thing that would become part of Gotham's cultural zeitgeist.

Imagine the first time each of them heard some kids singing this?! Imagine if it's a cryptid Batfamily au and the song breaks containment before the other heroes know them? So much possibility, so much potential, I love it.

Listen... All I know is that the kids I babysit were singing that one Gummy Bear song and next thing I knew my brain made a parody

Wait, hold up.

We need to establish something first.

Are we talking Canadian Smarties or American Smarties?

I love stress-eating smarties I just go to town on those things I go through the whole bag I inhale it like munchable cocaine I eat it all until theyre gone and twitch on the floor like a dead rat