This Is Me Talking About Fandoms In Front Of My Mom Who Gives 0 Shits Lmao

I found a similar one

peter wearing one of those monkey leash backpacks which tony is holding on to. tony wearing one of those monkey leash backpacks which stephen is holding onto. oh and they are at disneyland.

I'VE NEVER SEEN A MORE PERFECT SUMMARY

A Study In Pink [Sherlock] : what I retained

John: life is shit

Psy: ok

John: war

Psy: ok thank u now pay me

*some war nightmares and a gun later, in a park*

John: *life is shit face*

Mike: hey im the fat dude remember

John: hey life is shit, also war

Mike: cool, lemme introduce you to my sociopath gay friend who is not my friend because i dissappear from the whole serie after I make you two fall in love forever

John: what

Mike: eheh

*in a room with a dead body, a sociopath and a rejected girl loving dead bodies and sociopaths*

Mike: yo

Sherlock: *gay look towards the new pretty soldier* im interested but not showing it cause im a queen

John: here take my phone and all my clothes if you need

Sherlock: oW

Sherlock: afghanistan or Iraq

Sherlock: also Molly lol you ugly

John: * .....has stop working....*

Mike: eheh

Sherlock: i like cute blond army soldiers lets live together and do everything together from now

John: sounds good i dont find this creepy at all

Sherlock: *winks*

John:♡o♡

Mike: eheh

*new home*

Sherlock: call me by my first name but you can call me how you want i dont care. love me please

Mrs.Hudson: look at my gay baby boys

John: no

Sherlock: thank you

John: what a shit decoration taste

John: also you're pretty but you're website is shit

Sherlock: this was rude but you're cute

Sherlock: wanna see a corpse

John: wow so romantic im coming

*around a corpse*

Sherlock: deductions deductions deductions

John: how marvelous

John: take me

Lestrade: im out

Donovan: the psycho is a bitch

John: no you

*somewhere we dont care in london*

Mycroft: im the master of cameras

John: Ridiculous. I wanna find my new boyfriend

Mycroft: also the master of mysterious cabs

John: ok

John: hey you're a girl so im flirting with you because im not gay and im not into the cheekbones guy

Anthea: do i look like i give a shit

John: *entering another dark place* ridiculous.

Mycroft: i wanna scare you

John: ridiculous

Mycroft: look at my pretty umbrella

John: i just wanna go home you weirdo

Mycroft: i know everything about you

John: lol big coat man already did that im not impressed anymore

John: also war

Sherlock: *texting his new boyfriend*

John: gotta go, bye bitches

John: jusg taking my gun on my way

Anthea: do I look like I give a shit

*with pretty boyfriend*

Sherlock: lol nothing just wanted to see you

John: i find this perfectly normal

Sherlock: text a serial killer please

John: okay

John: wait wha-

Sherlock: you're better looking than my skull friend

Sherlock: date?

John: YES

John: I mean no because im not gay but YES

*during the not gay date*

Angelo: you cute and gay

Sherlock: thank you

John: no

Sherlock: eat

John: ok

Angelo: here some gay candles

John: no

Sherlock: thank you

John: you single?

Sherlock: this is literally a date

John: no

Sherlock: i dont like girls

John: cool

John: I keep that information

John: for no gay reason

John: *bi lipslicking*

Sherlock: RUN

John: WHEREVER YOU GO

Sherlock: lol it was a test, means you dont need your cane

John: what cane?

Sherlock: why are there idiots in our flat

Anderson: *idiots stuff*

Sherlock: *clash*

John: dats my boy

Sherlock: I solved the case

Cabbie: cool now come so i can kill you

Sherlock: no

Cabbie: but it's fun

Sherlock: ok

John: why the hell nobody noticed that the super annoying good looking detective left

Anderson: he is a psycho

John: oh you're the boyfriend of the bitch you bitch

*somewhere lost and dark that we can easily find with a gps*

Sherlock: im smarter

Cabbie: im smarter

Sherlock: this is a fake gun

Cabbie: you're smarter

Sherlock: but im playing your game anyway because my life is boring and death is fun

Cabbie: *gets shot*

Sherlock: oh no but this is not fun

Sherlock: how do i know if im the smarter now

Dying cabbie: moriarty

Sherlock: lets go for two seasons then

Sherlock: means 5 more episodes lol

*among useless policemen and police cars doing beep beep*

Lestrade: put the blanket on

Sherlock: I dont need a blanket dad i worked hard dad

Lestrade: who shot

Sherlock: my deduction skills tell me it's a cute blond army doctor but ive no idea who

John: *is here and good looking but still no gay*

Sherlock: oops

Lestrade: can you repeat everything because I'm cute and nice but not very smart

Sherlock: nope

Sherlock: but im putting the blanket on, look dad

Lestrade: it's all fine then

Sherlock: *throws the blanket away to look good in front of cute blond army doctor*

John: look at my innocent face

Sherlock: this shot was quite badass

John: okay it was me

Sherlock: hot

John: I know right

Mycroft: and now do i scare you

John: youve got a serious problem

Sherlock: stop playing with my date you little shit bro im the queen

John: okay weird fam

John: you idiot

Sherlock: ok but you're so cute when you say that

Sherlock: take me

John: what

Sherlock: another not gay date?

John: yes yes yes yes

John: with candles

Mycroft: ok i ship them

Anthean: do I look like I give a shit again

Gavin is precious!!

Imagine the reason Lestrade does this is because one time he didn’t listen or take action immediately

Imagine one time he brushed it aside for something “more important”

Imagine when he finally got to 221b or some crime scene, he found Sherlock on the ground and passed out from drugs again, or maybe bleeding out from getting shot

Sherlock Holmes, lying on the ground half dead because he trusted in someone for once and they let him down.

Lestrade wasn’t there in time to stop or help him. He broke the trust he had gained. Sherlock almost died because of him. He almost died alone. If Lestrade had come any later, he would have.

So he told himself never again

He regained Sherlock’s trust

And since then he never pauses and instead drops everything to take action

Because to Lestrade, accidentally calling maximum backup to bakerstreet just for a best man speech is better than letting Sherlock die when he could have done something about it.

Them: What is your contribution to society?

Fanfic Writer: I’m here to help my friends get off.

Exploring a new case

Guys!! I have uploaded my Wattpad story on AO3 too!! Check it out

Fan A: You’re the best Fan B: You’re beautiful Fan A: SHUT UP HE’S MINE (x)

Someone write a ficcc!!! Please!!!

Haha being a part of AO3 family and Sherlock fandom has given me a reason to exist!

Just as a reference, these two posts are written by fanfiction loving gay cis men, who have a lot of great first-hand knowledge of the kinds of sex that two people with penises have! They are (used to be?) really well known, but I know a lot of younger folks may be writing fic and have never come across them! Minotaur A well known classic, incredibly informative website with tons of information. Rather dated at this point with regards to the cultural descriptions, but the mechanics are spot on! Gay Sex is All Wrong in Fanfic More recently written (2014), and addresses a lot of misconceptions that tend to pop up in mlm fic written by afab people!

Enjoy!