Izuku' Cracking Bones' Midoriya : And So I Was Standing There Scared Child On My Back And He Was Like

No one not a soul :

Izuku walking past bakugo whispering : I'm gonna rip your hands off.

Bakugo :... WHAT THE FUCK NERD?

Izuku acting all innocent : huh? I didn't say anything are you okay kachan?

Bakugo slightly scared : NO WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?!

izuku : nothing? Are you okay did you hit your head too hard during training?

No one says anything for a good few seconds before izuku smiles everyone thinks it's his normal smile but to bakugo its his "no one will ever believe you bitch" smile

No one :

Izuku cracking his knuckles during class : hm

All of class 1-a and aizawa snapping their heads to him instantly : DEK- PROBL-

izuku looking around : wow. Wow seriously.

Class 1-a : sorry... Its just.... Its you we can never be safe

Aizawa : i wouldn't put it past you to break your hand during class too.

Izuku deadpan sighing : I hate this fucking class.

Class 1-a :GASP. MIDORIYA! LANGUAGE!

some crack idea with the ofa vestiges and izuku +some aizawa

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izuku calmly talking to the vestiges in the living room fo the dorms : and then he said

yoichi : wait I head something....

Hikage Shinomori : yeah... nine hold on for a second

Daigoro Banjo :OMG WHO CARES I WANNA HEAR THE REST.

En :...its a person... who'd be up at 3am?

aizawa who's hiding behind the wall confused as fuck : what the fuck

izuku without missing a beat : aizawa sensei.

aizawa panicked even more because what in the fuck is going on : WHAT THE FUCK

a little something inspired by my dad coming home drunk as shit from his work night out but as aizawa and izuku!

(also hello I'm not dead)

aizawa drunk as fuck coming home at midnight: hellos family.

izuku : omg your drunk?!

aizawa: no I'm dad.

izuku :... that isn't what I meant?

aizawa : what are you saying.

izuku :... how much did you drink??

aizawa : yellow. *passes out*

izuku :... this answers nothing.

Aizawa and izuku quotes part 3!

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Aizawa : Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Izuku: Oh, I’m always running

Izuku: The question is from what

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Aizawa : ya know kid I've never seen you look so tired you good?

Izuku :a few words ; fucking ghosts in my head are loud as shit

Aizawa : Oh makes se- I'm sorry WHAT?

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Izuku : What’s up? I’m back.

Aizawa: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead

Izuku : Death is a social construct.

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Izuku : I live purply on spite.

Aizawa : i find that hard to believe...

Izuku: all my live I've been told I could never be a hero and that I should just give up and kill myself. I'm purely running on spite and lots of coffee

Aizawa :.... OKAY WHAT THE FUC-

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Aizawa bursting into the teachers lounge :WHERE IS PROBLE-

Yamada :shhhhh cemmer he's sleeping

Aizawa :... What

Izuku Sleeping on the couch curled up like a kitten : mmmrhp

Aizawa 'this is now my child' : oh my god

Izuku shifting in his sleep : mmrhp

Aizawa now petting izuku's hair and izuku leaning into the touch and almost purring :oh. My. God

Midnight :he's little a little kitten oh my god!

Yamada : sho sho can we have him please!

Aizawa 'weak for the little kitten boy' : yes.

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Aizawa: Do you have any idea what you’re doing?

Izuku : Why start now?

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Pure crack dadzawa and izuku

Aizawa at the start of the year : oh god this problem child is gonna give me gray hairs

Izuku 'deku' midoriya : be gay break bones.

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Aizawa after izuku takes a stab to the shoulder for him and doesn't flinch : wtf is this child made of?

Izuku ' fuck shit up' midoriya looking at the villian and smiling : tf you finna do there?

Said villain felling slightly scared : uh...shit fam my bad

Izuku : yeah better fuckin be

Aizawa slightly scared now : AYO WHAT?

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Aizawa sitting midoriya down in his office: I'm concerned about your habits to just put yourself in danger, do you even value your own life?

Izuku : naw fam my life suck ass Idc.

Aizawa 'I'm gonna adopt him' shouta : oh. Well in that case-

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Aizawa storming into a teachers meeting late, looking worse then usual : NEZDU WHY IN ALL NAMES HOLY IS PROBLEM CHILD YOUR PERSONAL STUDENT.

Nedzu smiling : smart boy very smart boy also very homicidal boy!

Teachers of UA :... Oh dear god we're fucked.

aizawa and izuku quotes part 6!

because its 7am I haven't slept and I have a 10 hour shift soon!

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Izuku , making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

aizawa: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Izuku : I absolutely fucking do not.

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aizawa: You're alive.

Izuku : There's no need to sound so disappointed sensei.

aizawa : I'm not I'm just shocked

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aizawa: Izuku , what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa: And what did you do?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa : why why do you do this.

izuku : I am just in a silly mood okay

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aizawa: What's wrong with you?

Izuku : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

aizawa : Oh... I'm adopting you now

izuku : yeah lam- what?

mic : STOP ADOPTING EVER SAD CHILD.

aizawa : YOU CANT STOP ME.

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Izuku : What goes up but never comes down?

aizawa: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

izuku : hut its just you, me and the cats

aizawa : exactly. poor bastard is stressed.

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Izuku talking about aizawa : my dad taught me to think before I act.

Izuku now glaring at bakugo : ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

aizawa proud as fuck : go get em kid!

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Izuku drugged up on hospital meds : Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

aizawa :....what????

class 1a : I'm so confused?

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izuku high as fuck on hospital drugs after the stain fight : haha pretty

aizawa and mic bursting into the room :KIDDO?!

izuku : ayeee! you made it!

mic : hey buddy how you feeling?

izuku smirking : they got me on the good shit!

aizawa laughing : oh my god!

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izuku and aizawa qoutes part 9!

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aizawa: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Izuku : Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

aizawa : I'm not. I have to deal with it afterwards!

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Izuku : I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future.

midnight : Oh yeah? Then continue this.

midnight : I don't cook I don't clean-

Izuku : So let me tell you how I got this ring.

Izuku & midnight : .....

Izuku & midnight : GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME-

aizawa and the other ua teachers watching in horror : what the actual fuck.

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aizawa: An Apple a day keeps the Doctor away kid.

Izuku sleep deprived : An Apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough sensei

aizawa : Oh....

class 1a : oh oh...

the league of villains : I'm scared...

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Izuku texting the heros and student chat again at 1am

brokenbones : Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

sleepingbag : ...what happened?

brokenbones : I made a VERY bad mistake.

IamNOThere:.... young midoriya wtf

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aizawa lost of hope : Izuku , I need some advice.

Izuku mixing redbull and coffee into a 5 hour shot drink : You need advice from ME?

aizawa: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

izuku nodding : mhm.... who died?

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aizawa, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?

Izuku , who’s running the drive thru: …

Izuku : Tequila.

aizawa shocked : PROBLEM CHILD?

izuku : hey sensei

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Izuku: Dad, I talk to ghosts

Aizawa: so, you aren't just talking to Hagakure when I find you out past curfew?

Izuku: no, I'm talking to dead people. One of them looks like Kacchan and he keeps standing right next to him to freak me out and it's not nice and all of them need tharapy.

Aizawa; why do they need tharapy?

Izuku: one of them became a hermit and lived in the woods, and the rest of them were murdered by All for One.

Aizawa: *speechless* how have you lived with them?

Izuku: starts crying

(I don't know if you could bounce some ideas off of this but I appreciate the quotes you do. I think talking to ghosts in front of people is extremely funny especially when it's your adopted dad.)

(okay first off thank you for this omg! I'm crying but I have something in my drafts that's something like this that I wanna turn into a story so I might take some of this as inspo but! onwards to the qoute!)

aizawa : Oh shit uh! don't cry? idk? uh?

Nana Shimura : dahm he's bad at comfort isn't he?

izuku still sobbing : Hes trying his hardest nana!

aizawa : WHAT???

Izuku : one of the ghosts!

aizawa : I'm so confused and concerned for your health right now.

one for all users threw izuku : haha mood!

aizawa :OH WHAT THE FUCK HELLO?!

izuku still crying : that was them!

aizawa : uh okay uh right so my son talks to dead people okay cool cool I can deal with this.... WAIT IS THIS WHY YOUR ALWAYS FREZZING TO THE TOUCH????

izuku wiping his eyes : mhm they're clingy! it gets cold when they hug me or be around me rather then in my mind!

aizawa in shock : i need to sit down. I adopted one child but got.... how many?

izuku :... 7 and a half...

aizawa nodding : I adopted one child and got 7 and a half dead people for free.... whag type of deal is this?

izuku laughing a little : you and me both. I thought I was just getting a quirk but I got funky ghosts and 7 more quirks!

aizawa : i need a drink to even think about prosessing this.

one for all users threw izuku : our bad sir if it helps we were all heros and vigilantes..... except two of us

aizawa : Oh.

Class 1a watching a horror movie :OMFG HOLY SHIT

Izuku deadpan :eh I could have killer her better then that smh

Class 1a looking at him scared as fuck : im sorry what?

Izuku looking at them : oh common it was armature at best he could have dragged it along more atleaset.

Aizawa :....problem child.

Izuku looking at him :what up?

Aizawa : therapy 12pm tomorrow.

Izuku :WHAT WHY

Aizawa :BECAUSE

izuku storming off to his dorm :UGH YOUR THE WORST DAD