Stuck Between Wanting To Post Every Little Thing About My Drs And Never Actually Knowing What To Tell

the sisyphus delusion. . . drop the boulder and shift realities.

sisyphus had one job. one brutal, mindless, soul-crunching job. roll the rock up the hill, watch it roll back down, repeat. camus, bless his french-algerian heart, tells us sisyphus is happy because he chooses to be. because he winks at the abyss and says, fine, let’s dance. because the struggle itself is a kind of victory.

alas, sisyphus is not free. he is a hamster in a particularly wheel, finding comfort in his own entrapment. and that is where he and the modern shifter shake hands. the great cosmic irony is that shifters, these darlings of self-willed escape, have turned themselves into their own myth. they are sisyphus reborn, but instead of a rock, they roll their mindset uphill, over and over again. every affirmation, every subliminal, every night spent whispering to the void. an endless exertion, a labour of self-convincing.

it’s not shifting. it’s straining. the difference between them and sisyphus is that at least he had the decency to stop pretending the rock wasn’t real.

shifting should be the rejection of struggle, not its rebranding. but somewhere along the way, it became another mountain, another test, another something-to-be-earned. people talk about shifting like it’s a boss battle, like they have to do enough reality checks, clear enough mental debris, align their subconscious like the planets in some great celestial waiting room. they believe in the rock. they believe in the climb. they are hypnotised by the effort.

but effort is resistance, and resistance is friction, and friction keeps things exactly where they are. loa already taught us this, what you fight, you feed. what you chase, you place ahead of you, always out of reach. shifting is not a process, it’s a decision. it is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when. and 'when' is only ever waiting on you.

so step aside. let the rock roll where it may. stop thinking of shifting as a mountain to scale and start thinking of it as a room you already own. there is no application form. no cosmic bureaucracy keeping you from your desires. no checklist, no gods, no gatekeepers. only you, making your own mythology out of something as simple as stepping through a door.

so, dear sisyphus-in-disguise, put down your affirmations, your desperate notes to the universe, your battle against the self. don’t just push the rock. drop it. and walk into the world that was already waiting for you.

I always thought my eyes were special. They’re icey blue with a dark ring around them— and they stand out, but they’re cold.

His eyes are warm. They’re a brown backlit by the sun. They’re the chocolate chips in freshly baked cookies, melted and sweet and from home.

My eyes may be the sky, or the ocean. But his are the earth, the soil where flowers bloom. My eyes reflect the sun but his absorb the light and shine it upon any who are fortunate enough to be seen by him.

I look into his eyes and I feel my ice melting.

“shifting showed me the will to live a thousand lives, when i didn’t even have the strength to live one.”

Letting go and what it actually is.

Everyone takes letting go too far. It is a simple thing. It does not require any effort. The purpose of letting go is not to make you forget about everything that you want or acting like you have it already even when you don't believe it.

It is a reminder. It is a reminder of your true self. That you will experience your desires because that's how reality works. That you can do whatever you want and not worry because reality passes through you and you experience it with what you choose. It's supposed to be a easy. Because it is easy. There is nothing you need to do to let go except the thing that you want to do.

Here's what it's not:

You're not supposed to forget about your desire.

You're not supposed to stop scripting for your DR (or anything dr related).

You're not supposed to stop and 'move on' from your desire.

You're not supposed to force the flow of your thoughts towards already having it.

You're not supposed to distract yourself whenever the thought of your desire arises.

You're not supposed to do a million methods and breathe thinking that 'I let it go now' only to spiral into 'no I didn't' again.

Here's what it is:

Whatever you want it to be.

Doing whatever the fuck you want to do and not judging yourself for it (Includes having doubts, spiralling, feeling whatever you want and any 'negative' thing you can think of).

That's it. That's what letting go actually is. It's just trusting yourself and if you think that it's not that then you don't know enough about how our realities work. How we work. This is why I keep on telling y'all to educate yourself properly regarding shifting and everything that it is. This is literally it. Your doubts, feelings and everything physical is unrelated to shifting. You will shift regardless.

"How do I trust myself then?" You ask me looking so stupid because how the fuck am I supposed to know that I'm not you. You know yourself best. Bloggers cannot help with everything, I'm just sitting behind a screen showing you the map, you have to walk it yourself. Only YOU can change yourself and only YOU know yourself enough to change.

If you want to think about your desire 24/7 do it. If you want to daydreaming thinking about your dr do it. Want to script for 10 hours? Go get some coffee. Want to rant how annoying everyone in your cr is while changing your assumptions about them? Go off slay or whatever. Spiraled again? Doesn't matter keep doing that until you stop naturally. Let yourself breathe and exist and feel.

“my hogwarts academia dr is gonna be chill, just vibes, less chaotic than my hogwarts band dr—”

I’m a goddamn liar.

I’ve started scripting a few songs I want to write along with my novel & poetry collection. I’ve added dramatic lore. I’ve scripted that lore comes back to haunt me quite literally.

Can I have one dr where I’m not putting myself through despair? Please?

Spoiler: the answer is no.

I am feeling so connected to my dr today. I am thriving I am giddy I am giggling because I can feel that crisp september air coming through my dorm window and I can hear the buzzing nonsensical chatter just before class begins and I can smell the hay I give my guinea pig every morning. I am in my dr I am living and I am breathing and I am.

how i feel every time i get to the timeline section of my script

blushydior

stop abandoning common sense for the law. simplify it & prioritize your mental health.

i love you guys. seriously. but no matter how many times we tell you how simple the law is, that everything and anything is possible, you still find some way to question the smallest things that don’t even matter.

“did you believe your affs?”, “did you affirm 24/7?”, “was it instant?”, “how long did it take?”, “but i feel like people still look the same even though they-“, “your success stories are fake and you know that the law isn’t all that”, “i’m really trying to believe in the law but i-“, “you’re avoiding my asks. are you sure the law-“, “please tell me the law is real, im-“

if you’re so logical, ask yourself if 200+ manifestation blogs would spend hours on long informational posts just to LIE? do you see the tip button? do you see that they plugged their venmo, paypal, kofi? offering coaching? do you think THOUSANDS of people would be on anon sending in success stories talking about how much they struggled and finally manifested their dreams? if you’ve been on tumblr long enough, you know that the likes to reblog ratio is insane, so don’t you think liars would be better off on tiktok or twitter?

i don’t think i’ve ever seen a community that devoted so much time into posts and answering many many long asks as much as loassumption tumblr. it’d be hard to still think it’s some kind of hoax after considering all that.

i know that all this logical thinking and anxiety stems from fear and all that we were taught growing up but it’s UP TO YOU whether or not, staying in one place, scared of the what if’s and failure is going to GET YOU WHERE YOU WANT. STEP. UP from your limitations. GAIN COURAGE. it’s now or never. literally what are you waiting for?

you know it makes sense. you know it’s possible. you know you don’t have to believe your affirmations. so it wouldn’t hurt to try the law even if you suspect it so much. what’s the worst that can happen by saying beneficial affirmations everyday?

i’m so happy that you discovered the law of assumption and the fact that you can live your dream life, my love but that won’t change if you worsen your mental health, reading so many posts a day when you know what to do. don’t just abandon common sense. if you know that your mental health is at risk but you’re constantly scrolling on your phone, beating yourself up for “not being able to manifest correctly” take a step back and reflect on your actions. don’t you see you’re only doing more damage?

with love, i advise you to take a step back, get off your phone, stop wallowing in the things you can control. take action to better yourself and take the time you need. take deep breaths and tell yourself everything is okay.

i need my man.

fanfics and c.ai aren’t enough.

I NEED MY MAN.

Shifting is guaranteed.

This isn’t wishful thinking it’s a truth rooted in intention and alignment. The moment you decided to shift, the path opened. You may not see the full picture yet, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t unfolding.

There’s no need to force or chase. This isn’t about speed, It’s about certainty. What’s meant for you will meet you.

Every thought, every moment of belief, brings you closer. Your desire to shift is not random. it’s a signal, a sign that it’s already yours in a reality that exists just as vividly as this one.

You will shift sooner or later.