hey do u write for hector fort đ? and if u do please write some headcanons for my man đđ
summary:: pov; youâre hectorâs girlfriend.
warnings:: none!
writers note:: ofc iâll write for hec!! iâll write for anyone so idmmm!! i love headcannons itâs easy and iâve js clocked that my hcs are descriptive asf. đ also this is the end of my inbox which is crazy so keep on requesting bc i have no ideas of my own fics⌠AND IM WRITING THIS DURING BARCA VS BETIS SO GAVI GOALLLL đ¤
ę¨ - quality time ; his love language is definitely quality time. he loves spending time with you whether itâs quiet evenings inside or going for a late night walk.
ę¨ - heâs the type to bring you flowers randomly, not bc itâs a special occasion but on a random tuesday, just because why not.
ę¨ - heâs not fond of pda at all so instead heâll just hold your hand or rest his arm around your shoulders just to make it known youâre his.
ę¨ - COMMUNICATION IS KEY. heâs big on communication so heâll always make you feel heard.
ę¨ - his gifting is thoughtful ; he pays close attention to things you love and will always include that in gifting whenever he can.
ę¨ - he loves being close to you. whenever youâre together heâll bring you closer to him and if youâre away for days heâll send voice notes talking about how much he misses you.
ę¨ - whenever heâs with his teammates heâll always try and mention you, and if you visit him after his training, theyâll never stop teasing him.
ę¨ - he âaccidentallyâ leaves his hoodies at your place.
ę¨ - lowkey a cutie bc whenever you fall asleep on him heâll take a photo of you and post it on his story for you to see when you wake up
SORRY THIS IS SHORT I WAS LOWKEY OUT OF IDEAS
hiya!! could you write something for jamal Musiala about how you two being out and about in london, itâs a relatively warm spring day, youâre wearing a midi red polka dot dress, some docs paired with your miu miu ivy bag with cute charms on and jamal was wearing green baggy carhartt cargos, a black graphic tshirt, his go to black Nike cortez and a surpreme cap. Youâre both wearing your matching jewelry (rosequartz bracelet) . His arm never leaves your waist, youâre snuggled into each other while walking and laughing about silly stuff your talking about or seeing on the street. You then go in for a kiss but his cap is in the way so he puts it on backwards, looking even more handsome, something about that backward cap is doing something to you, you quite frankly canât stop staring and kissing him. in the middle of one kiss youâre getting interrupted by fans who want to take a picture, kindly accepting their request. You both have swollen and red lips from kissing and the most love sick smiles on your faces. Paparazzi and the internet goes crazy over you two.
Thank you :)
⌠- london days.
summary:: req says enough
warnings:: none.
writers notes:: idek what to say atp bro but itâs a cute concept i love it & also idk what happened but this didnât save so this is rushed now
tags:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp
the sun was shining brightly in london, a soft warmth filling the air as you strolled down the busy streets, hand in hand with jamal. it was one of those rare spring days where the warmth made everything feel light and easy. you couldnât have asked for a better day.
you were both in your element, laughing, joking around, and just enjoying each otherâs company. your red midi polka dot dress flowed gently around your legs as you walked, paired with your docs that added a little edge to your otherwise soft look. your miu miu ivy bag with its cute little charms swung lightly with every step. jamal, as always, looked effortlessly good. he was wearing his green baggy carhartt cargos, a black graphic t-shirt, and his usual black nike cortez. his supreme cap sat snugly on his head, completing the look.
but what made it all better was the way his arm never left your waist, how close he kept you, the way he pulled you into him like it was second nature. it was easy, familiar, like the most natural thing in the world.
âyou know,â jamal said, a laugh in his voice, âi swear that guy just tried to sell me a âlimited editionâ air max for 500 pounds. i told him they werenât even realâ
you burst out laughing at the way he imitated the vendor, shaking your head. âyouâre too nice, jamal. if i were you, i wouldâve asked for a discountâ
âhey,â he grinned, pulling you a little closer, âiâve got a reputation to keep up. wouldnât want to look too gullibleâ
you snorted, âright, right, so instead, youâre just gullible in a different way, got itâ
he nudged you with his shoulder, his smile still wide. he made everything feel easy, like nothing in the world could go wrong as long as you were together.
as you turned a corner, the moment felt perfect. the streets of london were busy, but none of it really mattered. you were so wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world just faded into the background.
without thinking, you reached up to kiss him, but his cap got in the way, pressing against your forehead. he laughed, pulling back just enough to flip it backwards in one quick motion.
and something about that made you stop.
he somehow looked even better like this. the way the cap sat on his head, the effortless confidence in the way he adjusted it, your heart skipped a beat.
without thinking, you kissed him again, your hands finding their way to his face as he smiled against your lips. he kissed you back just as eagerly, his hands resting on your waist, holding you there like he never wanted to let go.
but then, just as you were completely lost in him, voices interrupted the moment.
âexcuse me, could we take a picture with you two?â
you pulled away, cheeks warm, lips slightly swollen. jamal looked at you, his expression just as dazed as yours, before turning to the fans with a grin.
âof courseâ
they quickly snapped a few pictures, giggling and thanking you both. you tried to compose yourself, smoothing down your dress, though you could still feel the ghost of jamalâs lips on yours.
âthanks for being so nice,â one of them said, smiling as they walked away.
as soon as they were gone, you looked up at jamal. his lips were still a little red from kissing you, and his cheeks had a faint flush. he looked at you like you were the only person in the world.
âyou okay?â you teased, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.
he grinned, eyes soft. âyeah. just⌠getting used to this whole public couple thingâ
you laughed, but you both knew it was true. the internet and paparazzi had already caught onto you two, and the pictures were probably spreading like wildfire. people loved the way you two looked together, how natural and real it seemed.
but none of that mattered. all that mattered was the way he was still holding onto you, how he wasnât letting go.
you kept walking, still laughing, still holding each other close. the spring day had just gotten a whole lot better.
Toni is actually so pretty like wth so how about reader doing makeup on him?
summary:: despite all his protests, you do your boyfriends makeup.
warnings:: i wrote this at school.
writers notes:: iâm so sorry this took ages to put out my babies đ. ALSO I PROMISE I HAVE LIKE 5 FINISHED FICS IN NY DRAFTS THAT NEED FORMATTING IM SORRY.
tags:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp @universefcb @nngkay
âwhy am i doing this again?â
toni was sitting stiffly in front of you, his arms crossed over his chest, watching with narrowed eyes as you laid out your makeup products on the desk. he was clearly trying to act like he wasnât into this, but the way he kept sneaking glances at the different brushes told you otherwise.
âbecause i asked nicely,â you said sweetly, picking up a beauty blender. âand because you love me.â
he rolled his eyes. âi donât remember agreeing to this.â
âwell, you didnât say no either, sooooâŚâ you trailed off, smiling.
he sighed, rubbing his temple like you were giving him a headache. âyou better not make me look stupid.â
you gasped, clutching your chest in fake offense. âexcuse me? when have i ever made you look stupid?â
toni gave you a look. âdo you want me to list examples?â
âshut up and let me do your makeup.â
he huffed but sat up straighter, finally relenting. you straddled his lap, cupping his face between your hands.
âokay, first of all, you have great skin,â you said, smoothing some primer over his cheeks. âthis is almost unfair.â
he smirked. âgood genetics.â
âwhatever.â you rolled your eyes but couldnât help smiling.
as you started blending foundation onto his face, he sat incredibly still, his jaw tense like he was concentrating hard.
âtoni, you can relax,â you giggled.
âthis requires focus,â he said seriously.
you snorted. âitâs literally just makeup. you act like iâm giving you stitches.â
âyouâre holding something very close to my eye. i need to be prepared.â
he was being so dramatic, but you loved it.
you worked quickly, adding concealer under his eyes, setting everything with a light dusting of powder. his sharp cheekbones made contouring a dream, and when you brushed highlighter onto the high points of his face, he blinked in surprise.
âitâs shiny,â he murmured, turning his face slightly.
âyes, baby, thatâs the point.â
his brows furrowed, but he didnât argue.
when you got to the eyeshadow, you hummed, tilting your head. âi think a soft brown would look good on you.â
toni raised an eyebrow. âyou sound like youâve been waiting to do this for a long time.â
you grinned sheepishly. âmaybe.â
he sighed, but there was no real annoyance behind it. âjust donât make me look like a clown.â
âtrust me, iâm making you look pretty.â
he muttered something under his breath, but let you continue.
by the time you finished blending the eyeshadow and adding a tiny wing to the corner of his eye, you were practically bouncing with excitement.
âokay, you literally have the perfect face for this. you look so good.â
toni turned to the mirror, studying his reflection. his brows lifted slightly, his lips parting in surprise.
âhuh.â
âsee? i told you!â
he tilted his head, his fingers ghosting over his cheekbone. âi look⌠kinda cool.â
âkind of?â you scoffed. âyou look incredible.â
he turned back to you, the corner of his mouth twitching. âalright, fine. you did a good job.â
âthank you,â you said smugly. ânow, let me take a pictureââ
toniâs expression immediately dropped. âno evidence.â
âbutââ
âno.â
you pouted. âbut you look so pretty!â
he sighed, shaking his head. âfine. one picture. just for you.â
you grinned, quickly snapping a photo before he could change his mind.
but later that night, when he thought you werenât looking, you caught him staring at his reflection again, tilting his head side to side, admiring the soft glow on his skin.
âdo you want me to do it again sometime?â you asked, biting back a smile.
toni cleared his throat, looking away. âi donât care.â
but the way his ears turned pink told you everything you needed to know.
Maybeeee part 3 where they actually meet irl pookie? đĽşđ
But hear me out, they meet on accident not a planned date but wtv you feel like luv we trust in you đ
⌠- one wrong digit. part 3.
summary:: fate is real? isnât it? or is it just a concept we believe from movies. idk bro and neither does joao.
warnings:: SO when i started this series, joao was still a chelsea player so we have to stick to this plot line to save my dignity!
writers note:: happy valentineâs day loves! this woulda taken me ages but i locked in bc this is my valentineâs day gift to you lot! so enjoy this and i lowkey had to speed up the plot so yk!
tags!:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp
it was a cold day in kensington where you lived but you had to go to chelsea just for some errands. in the end you stumbled into a cute cafe on the edge of the road.
you donât expect to see him. not today, not like this.
one second, youâre just going about your day, lost in your own world, and the next, you hear his voice. not through a phone speaker. not filtered by distance. but real,right there.
your brain takes a second to process it. because itâs one thing to facetime someone every day, to hear their voice in your ear at night, to recognize the way they laugh, the way they tease, the way they say your name like it belongs to them.
but itâs another thing entirely to see them in person.
you stop in your tracks, heart hammering, eyes scanning the cafe like youâre hallucinating. but no, heâs right there, standing near the counter, scrolling absentmindedly through his phone, completely unaware that youâre staring at him like the world just tilted on its axis.
you should say something. you should.
instead, your phone buzzes.
joĂŁo: what are you doing right now?
your breath catches. you glance up at him again. itâs so weird, seeing him like this, taller than you imagined, the way he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, how his hoodie is slightly oversized like it always is in your calls.
he still hasnât noticed you.
nothing. why?
you watch as he reads it. he types for a second, then stops. then starts again.
joĂŁo: just wondering.
he lifts his head, eyes flicking up for just a second.
and thatâs when it happens.
his gaze meets yours.
for a moment, neither of you move. you donât breathe. he doesnât either.
then, slowly, like heâs making sure youâre real, he lowers his phone.
âno way,â he murmurs.
you let out a breathless laugh, lost for words
his lips part slightly, like he doesnât know whether to smile or freak out. âthis is..â he cuts himself off, shaking his head. âi was literally just texting you.â
you hold up your phone. âyeah. saw that.â
he laughs, rubbing a hand over his jaw. âokay, this is crazy.â
âa little bit.â
âlike, what are the odds?â
âapparently very low,â you say, eyes still wide. âyet here we are.â
he lets out a disbelieving chuckle, then tilts his head at you, something softer in his expression now. âso⌠do we acknowledge that this is probably fate?â
you pretend to think. âhmm. or just a very, very weird coincidence.â
he smirks. âso, fate.â
you roll your eyes, but youâre smiling.
he takes a small step closer, hesitates for half a second, then grins. âhi.â
and just like that, you realise, this? whatever this is? itâs real. and itâs happening.
joao felix headcanons with a s/o who is very sassy and girly?
summary:: youâre joaos sassy girlfriend (joao is apart of sassy man apocalypse so honestly itâs hard to beat him)
warnings:: none xx
writers note:: yet again another gorgeous request. where have i been you might be asking, and the answer to that is idek myself⌠guys iâm working on the fics / req itâs js gon take time also i had sm fun writing this bc i fear im sassy myself.! đ¤
ę¨ - first of all, the media EATS YOU GUYS UPPPP. tiktok and everything loves you two because youâre iconic?? and the outfits you two have are chefs kiss
ę¨ - your comebacks are insane, youâre always keeping him on his toes bc you could say something diabolical
exhibit a ; âscore a hattrick and then MAYBE iâll let you choose dinnerâ
ę¨ - he SPOILS you. dior, lv, you name it, if you even mention it, itâll appear within 2-3 business days
ę¨ - following that up, flowers will appear at your doorstep after you finish work almost every day
(IM LIT RAISING MY OWN STANDARDS WTF)
ę¨ - oh you best believe that youâre dragging him to the nail salon w you. he protested against it at first but honestly he grew to like it.
ę¨ - heâs definitely jealous of the chicks sliding into your dms
âyou got a dm on instaâ
âoh check who itâs fromâ
âwhoâs j2trappy, he looks like a child⌠whyâs he asking if youâre singleâ
ę¨ - youâre supportive but absolutely extra, you need to be known as chelseaâs favourite wag. you rock up to matches in full glam, hair and makeup wearing joaos shirt but his number and name is bedazzled
ę¨ - he gives you princess treatment but only for you; heâll open doors for you, carry your shopping bags and treats you as if youâre the queen.
ę¨ - you send him texts during matches so he can read them afterwards
âwhy didnât you pass it there⌠even i couldâve scored that goal??â
âokay iâm sorry carino, iâll pass to you next timeâ
ę¨ - whenever youâre out shopping youâll drag him with you for him to give his honest opinion on everything but it always ends in âyou look perfect in everythingâ
ę¨ - before big matches, youâll give him pep talks but always include some sort of attitude
âokay baby, if you win today, iâll let you choose the next vacation spot.â
you always said it in a joking tone but he secretly took it to heart and he definitely worked harder
ę¨ - you have a range of nicknames for him, ranging from âgolden boyâ to âmy ronaldo in progressâ
Iâve read your hector fort headcanons and I thought the canon with him being trained to take pictures of reader was really cute!!
Maybe a fic based around that? Thank you
hector fort x fem!reader
sy: with nobody else available, but in desperate need, you suffice in letting your seriously inexperienced boyfriend snap pictures of you, who claims to be an expert.
a/n: IM FINALLY GETTING THROUGH THE REQS so thanks for ur patience ! (letâs ignore how this is a reupload btw)
warnings: noope.
âhector, no. you have to do it like this,â a sigh escaped your lips as you approached him, fixing his hands so he could hold the camera correctly. âand don't forget the right lighting.â
it was that time of year againâyour annual spring beach shoot, a tradition as essential as the first mango sorbet of the season.
the sundress you wore, white and airy, clung to every curve of your body, as the soft tropical wind kissed your skin. the beach was alive with a harmony of the afternoon waves and distant laughter but right now, it was just you, a camera and your boyfriend who swore he knew what he was doing.
hector tilted his head, an easy smile grazing his lips. âyou know it's impossible to get a bad picture of you.â
your boyfriend reached out, his palm resting on the lower part of your back to guide you closer to him, a laugh bubbling from your throat. âflattery isn't going to make you a better photographer, hector.â
âmaybe not, but it doesnât hurt.â he said with all seriousness, his hazel eyes catching the sunlight.
his fingers lingered for a second, tracing the edge of your dress where it cut out an oval on your back, just enough for you to feel the soft pressure.
you fought to keep your focus, nudging his arm lightly before stepping back into position. âjust take the picture, would you?â
you stepped back onto the warm shoreline, your hands tangling up into your hair as the wind hit them, whilst your bare feet sunk into the damp sand.
the sunset turned the ocean into a molten gold backdropâif only you prayed your self proclaimed expert photographer could capture it right.
but of course, hector was taking forever.
you shifted your gaze to him, just in time to catch him peeking over the lensânot even trying to hide the fact he was staring.
âwhat? do i have something on my face?â you lift up your hand, smearing it across your cheek.
âno justââ he shrugged, changing the focus.
hector pursed his lips into a thin line, like he wanted to say something else but instead lifted the camera again, adjusting the angle like youâd shown him. but you could still see the hesitation in his eyes. âwhat if i mess it up?â
âthen i'll make you take a hundred more until you get it right,â you teased. âweâve already tried it.â
he chuckled, finally snapping a few pictures. âi think that's just an excuse to spend more time with me.â
you scoffed, but the way your lips twitched betrayed you. âjust show me the pictures, romeo.â
the brunette lowered the digital camera as you peered around his shoulder. your eyes scanned over the screen, scrolling through the shots. to your surprise, some were⌠worthy.
âokay, not terrible,â you admitted, tilting the camera slightly. âthis one's actually kinda cute.â
the spaniard took great pride from your acknowledgment, as he turned his head around to you, with a small indignant grin. âsee? told you it's impossible to get a bad picture of you.â
âyou're so cheesy, you know? how did i let you come along with me?â you replied with flushed cheeks.
âbut youâre the one still standing here,â he mused, his lips brushing the top of your head in a tender kiss. it was quickâalmost like a habitâbut it made your heart flutter nonetheless. âwhich means you secretly love it. but mostly me.â
you huffed, shoving the device back into his hands. âjust don't mess up next time.â
âwhatever you say, bonita.â
hector adjusted the shot again, taking his timeâway too much time. he squinted at the screen like he was composing some masterpiece, his tongue peeking out in full concentration before finally pressing the shutter.
âyou know, overthinking it won't magically make you better.â you pointed out and let your stance relax.
he glanced up with a cocky sneer. âoh, but natural talent will.â
you rolled your eyes. âbold of you to assume you have that.â
he ignored the insult, stepping closer and flipping the screen around. âalright, go ahead. tell me this one isn't perfect.â
you looked at the screen, tilting your head. okay, maybe it was decent. the angle wasnât awful, the lighting was actually flattering andâfineâyou didnât look like you'd just rolled out of bed.
you hummed, pretending to consider. âit's⌠fine.â
hector scoffed, placing a hand on his chest like youâd just deeply offended him. âfine? this is art.â
you bit back a smile. âif by âart,â you mean âpassable at best,â then sure.â
âyour so stubborn,â he grinned, shaking his head, âyou just don't wanna admit i'm getting good. better than berta, even.â
âwhen you do get good, i'll let you know,â you countered, taking the camera from him. âuntil then, we keep practicing.â
he let out a dramatic sigh, running a hand through his hair. âif i didnât know any better, i'd think you just like bossing me around.â
âand if you were any smarter, youâd stop complaining and start paying attention.â you taunted, setting your hands on your hips for the next shot.
hector zoomed in further using the camera again, the faded sunlight painting him saffron as he aimed the lens.
âoh, donât worry, amor,â he murmured, the smirk never leaving his lips. âiâm paying very, very close attention.â
summary:: you and your STUPID boyfriend go on a spontaneous trip to crash a wedding in milan and ending up dancing under the stars.
warnings:: alcohol consumption (it shows đ), mild trespassing and really shit decision making.
writers note:: my creativity really sparked here and shoutout to baby for being great motivation (donât end up like chiara kids!) anyways yeah so please enjoy bc i loved writing this! ALSO SHOUTOUT TO THAT ONE DONA MARIA JOAO FIC FROM 2023 THAT WAS PEAK WRITING AND INSPO.
tags:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp ; lmk if u wanna be added
you never thought youâd be sneaking around milan at midnight with joĂŁo, but here you were, barefoot, holding your shoes in one hand, the other tugging him along as you ran down an empty street, laughter echoing off the buildings.
'we're definitely getting arrested,' you whispered between giggles.
'worth it,' joĂŁo grinned, eyes bright in the streetlights. 'best idea you've ever had.'
in your defense, you hadnât planned on crashing a wedding. it had started with dinner, turned into drinks, and somehow joĂŁo noticed the celebration across the street, music spilling out, people dancing on the sidewalk. the next thing you knew, you were slipping into the reception, dancing like you belonged there.
'you've got moves,' you teased, recalling how heâd spun you under the fairy lights, both of you blending seamlessly with the guests.
'you weren't too bad yourself,' he shot back, brushing his hair from his face as you finally slowed down, breathless. 'especially for someone who said they canât dance.'
'technically, i said i canât dance well,â you corrected. 'thereâs a difference.'
he stopped, tugging you into an empty plaza. 'prove it.'
'joĂŁo, there's no music.'
'doesnât matter.'
he placed your hands on his shoulders, his finding your waist. you rolled your eyes but let him sway you gently, the world falling quiet around you. just the two of you, under a sky littered with stars.
'youâre ridiculous,' you mumbled, but your smile betrayed you.
'you love it,' he murmured back.
you did. god, you really did.
he leaned in, forehead resting against yours. 'best night ever,' he said softly.
'we literally committed minor trespassing,' you laughed.
'adds to the charm.'
you pulled away just enough to meet his gaze. 'next time, maybe something less illegal?'
'weâll see,' he grinned. 'no promises.'
and honestly? you didnât mind the chaos, not when it meant moments like this.
Hiiiii Iâve been waiting sooo long to request from u I looooove ur writing <33
So hear me out luv a Hector Fort long fic (please make it long 8k+) where heâs a popular student and reader is like an unpopular middle class student and sheâs kinda bullied for that but Hector starts dating her cuz he loves her but all his friends and people in school start calling her a gold digger and Hector keeps defending her so one day he gifts her a necklace like an expensive one right but she needs money cuz her mom needs meds and her fam arenât doing well but somehow the popular girl in school that has a crush on Hector finds out and tells him so he thinks reader is actually with him for the money so he fights with her and break up and then later he finds out that she suffered and he regret it when he found her working 2 part time and became always absent in school and got sent to principal cuz she sleeps in class cuz sheâs tired from working and make the endings fluffy but please make it angsty like I wanna cry I wanna bawl my lil eyes and heart out (Iâm a sucker for angst I litt read sad books all the time)
If you are able to write this I thank u in advance darling <33
Have a great weekend and stay healthy and safe đ
summary:: the req.
warnings:: angst but yk that.
writers note:: this took way too long to write but tbf this got requested ages ago and iâd write like once a week but itâs lowkey fun! also thereâs a baby ref in this
w/c:: 9k
tags:: @barcapix @n0vazsq @httpsdana @paucubarsisimp @universefcb @mariejuli @nngkay
ââââââââââââââââââââââ
montserrat academy smelled like money.
not literally, but in that subtle way: clean, polished hallways that echoed too much, perfume lingering in the air even after people had left, crisp uniforms that never seemed to wrinkle, shoes that didnât scuff, phones without a single crack.
you didnât belong there. not really.
youâd gotten in on merit, a scholarship, long nights of studying, beating the odds kind of story. your mom cried when you got the acceptance email. your little brother made a paper crown and called you âgenius queenâ for a week.
but being in didnât mean being part of.
you sat alone a lot. not because you were a loner, but because lunch tables filled up fast with people who didnât look twice at you. your clothes werenât trendy, your shoes were always the same beat-up pair of sneakers, and your accent still carried bits of the neighborhood you came from.
and the others⌠they noticed.
they didnât push you or laugh in your face or throw your books across the floor like in those dramatic high school movies. no, it was quieter than that.
it was looking through you when you spoke in class. it was changing the subject when you joined the conversation. it was the way camila once complimented your thrifted bag, and everyone laughed like sheâd told a joke.
you werenât hated. just forgotten. misplaced. tolerated.
but you didnât come to be liked.
you came to escape.
from the thin walls of your apartment, where you could hear your mom coughing through the night. from the grocery lists that had more crossed-out items than bought ones. from the part-time job you worked after school and on weekends, where your uniform smelled like espresso and burnt toast.
you told yourself that montserrat academy was a ladder.
get good grades. get out. get a future.
so you kept your head down. kept your notebooks full. tuned out the whispers.
until him.
hĂŠctor fort didnât exist in your world. not really. he was the kind of student who was the school. son of someone important. name whispered like legacy. always surrounded. always laughing. not in a loud, obnoxious way, but in that warm, boy next door in a netflix teen show kind of way.
he played football, well. people wore his number on hoodies, not because they were on the team, but because he was the team. he was in all the sports day photos. he was in the group project that won nationals. he was even in the school tour pamphlet they handed to new families.
and he was everywhere.
in the mornings, leaning against his locker. during lunch, surrounded by people who hung on his every word. after class, headphones around his neck, bouncing a ball against his knee like he couldnât sit still.
you noticed him because everyone did.
he noticed you, and that was the part you didnât understand.
it started in october.
you were sitting behind the library, your favorite spot, shaded, quiet, full of soft rustling trees and the hum of faraway conversations you didnât have to join. you liked being alone there. liked how the sun hit your notebook just right, how your soup thermos kept your hands warm.
you were rereading a chapter for literature class when footsteps crunched the leaves.
you didnât look up right away. people didnât usually come back here. but then you heard it, the unmistakable, too calm voice:
âhey.â
you looked up.
hĂŠctor.
you blinked, then instinctively checked behind you, half-expecting him to be talking to someone else.
but there was no one.
just you.
âis this spot taken?â he asked, nodding toward the patch of grass near you.
you blinked again. âuh⌠no. itâs not.â
he sat. like it was normal. like it was nothing.
you waited for the joke. for someone to pop out with a camera. you waited to wake up.
but he didnât say anything else. just pulled out a book, your book, actually. same edition, same dog-eared corner you had in yours. and opened it to where the next chapter started.
silence settled.
you told yourself not to read into it. maybe it was a coincidence. maybe he just liked the quiet too.
the next day, he was there again.
and the next.
by friday, he nodded at you like it was a routine. you didnât even question it anymore. just shifted your bag to give him space and went back to your reading.
you still didnât talk much. sometimes heâd point out a line in the book and mumble something about it being clever. sometimes youâd make a quiet joke and heâd laugh softly, like he was trying not to make it a big deal.
it wasnât flirtation. not yet.
it was something else. something slower. something quieter.
and you didnât understand it. didnât know why he was choosing this spot when he had all the tables in the courtyard waiting for him. why he started borrowing your highlighters and returning them with smiley faces drawn on the caps. why he lingered a little longer after the bell rang.
but you didnât ask.
because it felt⌠safe. and safe wasnât something you had very often.
one wednesday, he showed up with two drinks.
âoneâs for you,â he said, handing you a plastic cup with condensation beading down the sides.
you took it cautiously. âwhat is it?â
âiced cinnamon oat latte,â he said. âthe guy at your cafĂŠ said itâs your usual.â
you stared at him.
he just shrugged, a little too casual. âi went there this morning. wanted to see if the pastries were as good as you always say.â
you blinked.
âyou went out of your way just toââ
âtheyâre mid, by the way,â he interrupted, sipping his own drink. âbut this? this is good.â
you smiled, small and stunned.
and he smiled back, like heâd been waiting to see it.
you didnât know what this was yet.
it wasnât a relationship. wasnât friendship, even, not quite.
but it was something. something soft. something beginning.
and even if you didnât trust it yet⌠you were starting to hope.
you didnât plan on him becoming part of your routine.
he just did.
it was subtle at first. like sunlight stretching across your bedroom floor, there before you really noticed, warm before you could name it. hĂŠctor started showing up behind the library before you even got there. sometimes with coffee. sometimes with an apple heâd take one bite out of, then forget to finish. always with that calm sort of presence. that ease you envied.
you learned little things.
he bit the inside of his cheek when he was thinking. he had messy handwriting and made his tâs too tall. he hated when people wasted food. he played with his necklace when he was bored. he smiled with one side of his mouth first, like the other had to catch up.
and he asked questions.
soft, curious ones.
âwhat do you wanna do after this?â
you looked up from your book.
âafter school, i mean,â he added. âlike⌠life. whatâs the plan?â
you shrugged. âgo to uni. get a job. something stable. maybe sleep more than four hours a night.â
he laughed gently, but his eyes softened.
âyou donât wanna dream big?â
you looked down. fiddled with the corner of your page.
âi think surviving is dreaming big,â you murmured.
he didnât say anything right away. just nodded, slow, like he got it.
your classmates started noticing before you did.
you could feel the shift. the way peopleâs eyes followed you when you passed. the way conversations dropped to whispers when you walked into a room. it was subtle, at first. but it grew.
you werenât invisible anymore. and it didnât feel like a compliment.
camila started looking at you like you were a stray cat tracking dirt across her marble floors.
âyou and fort,â she said one day in the hallway, voice sticky sweet, âare you, like⌠a thing?â
you blinked. âweâre friends.â
she laughed like that was the funniest thing in the world.
âright. just checking.â
you didnât tell hĂŠctor. you didnât want him to feel like he had to defend you. not when things were still⌠undefined. you didnât know what he called you when you werenât around.
but then he asked.
âdo people ever give you shit?â he said one afternoon, tossing a leaf in the air and catching it.
you paused. âwhat?â
âabout us hanging out.â
you looked at him, quiet.
he sighed. âitâs just, someone said something earlier and it pissed me off. they donât know you. they donât get it.â
âget what?â
he blinked. caught your gaze. then shrugged.
âyouâre cool,â he said simply. âyouâre real. i like being around you.â
your heart did something weird and fluttery. you hated how easily he made you want to believe him.
âwell,â you said, trying to keep your voice level, âiâm not really used to people liking me for⌠anything, so. thatâs new.â
he looked at you for a second longer than he needed to.
âtheyâre idiots if they donât.â
your shifts at the cafĂŠ got longer. your manager asked you to cover weekends, and you said yes because your momâs meds werenât getting cheaper, and you didnât know how to say no to survival.
you were tired all the time. your eyes stung during lectures. your back hurt from being on your feet too long.
and one friday, hĂŠctor showed up at closing.
you didnât even look up at first, you were too busy restocking sugar packets.
âhey, stranger.â
your head jerked toward the voice.
him. in sweats. hair damp from practice. a little out of breath like heâd rushed.
âwhat are you doing here?â you asked, blinking.
âthought you might need company.â
you blinked again. âi⌠i have to mop.â
he grinned. âiâm great with mops.â
he wasnât. he nearly slipped. twice. but he stayed. made you laugh. and when you locked up at the end of the night, he walked you to the bus stop, hands in his hoodie pockets, shoulders brushing yours.
âthanks,â you said softly.
he looked at you.
âfor what?â
âshowing up.â
he didnât answer.
just nudged your hand with his, like he was asking a question without saying anything.
you let your pinky hook around his.
not quite holding hands. not quite nothing, either.
the next week, he brought you a sandwich during break.
âyou didnât eat at lunch,â he said, not even looking up from his phone.
you blinked. âhowâd youâ?â
âyou had your sad soup face,â he shrugged. âfigured you were tired of leftovers.â
you stared at the sandwich. it had your favorite cheese. the kind you only got when it was on sale.
âyou didnât have toââ
âi know,â he said, finally glancing at you. âbut i wanted to.â
and that⌠that was the beginning of the end.
because wanting you?
that was dangerous.
and you were starting to want him back.
by the time december rolled around, everything felt different.
you still woke up early. still packed your brotherâs lunch. still worked weekends, still walked to school half-asleep with a thermos in your hands and a hoodie pulled over your ears.
but something in your chest had shifted.
it was the way you checked your phone before anything else, looking for a good morning text with a dumb emoji that never matched the mood. it was the way you stopped bringing soup because hĂŠctor always showed up with something better. it was the way his hoodie lived in your backpack now, just in case you needed it.
it was the way heâd learned to say your name like it was something soft.
and the way you stopped flinching when he did.
it was slow, so slow. every step of whatever this was. like he was giving you space to run, even though you didnât want to anymore.
you hadnât called it love yet.
not out loud.
but sometimes, when he leaned his head on your shoulder behind the library, when he handed you a drink with your name spelled right and a heart beside it, when he tied your shoe without saying a word and then stood up like it was nothing, you thought, maybe.
maybe.
the first time he asked you to come over, you panicked a little.
âjust a few of us,â he said, fiddling with the ring on his finger. ânothing fancy. weâre watching the barça match. iâll save you a spot on the couch.â
you hesitated.
you knew what his friends thought of you. knew the names they didnât say to your face. knew you werenât the kind of girl they invited to anything.
but you showed up anyway.
your jeans were the only pair you owned without a hole. your hair was in its neatest braid. you brought a bag of chips that cost more than they should have, but you didnât want to come empty handed.
his house was everything you expected, clean, modern, a little too big for a family of three. his mom smiled politely, offered you juice. his friends barely looked at you.
except camila.
she smiled with teeth. leaned too close to hĂŠctor. made comments that danced on the edge of insults, just sharp enough to sting.
but hĂŠctor didnât let you drift.
he kept his knee pressed against yours. he explained the game when you looked confused. he handed you a blanket when it got cold, and when the match ended and his friends were getting ready to leave, he pulled you aside.
âyou okay?â he asked.
you nodded. too quickly.
he watched you.
âyou donât have to pretend around me,â he said, voice low. âi notice things too.â
you bit your lip.
âiâm fine,â you said. âthey just⌠think you could do better.â
his brows pinched, jaw tightening.
âno,â he said. âthey donât get you. big difference.â
you looked up at him.
he stepped closer.
âyouâre the best part of my day,â he whispered. âthey can choke on their opinions.â
you laughed. you couldnât help it. it burst out, messy and real.
and he looked so pleased with himself.
christmas break was colder than usual.
you worked doubles. your momâs medicine ran out and insurance wouldnât cover the new one. the heating in your apartment went out for three days, and you slept in the same bed as your brother, layered in sweatshirts.
you didnât tell hĂŠctor. he was spending the holidays in menorca with his cousins, sending you photos of the beach and dumb santa filters on his face.
you didnât want to ruin that with your problems.
he texted you the night before new yearâs.
hey. can i see you tomorrow? like⌠actually see you?
you said yes, of course.
he showed up at your building at noon, wearing that navy jacket you liked, a bag in one hand and a little grin tugging at his mouth.
you met him outside, hair still damp from your rushed shower, shoes half-tied.
âi brought snacks,â he said. âand something else.â
you raised a brow.
he held up a small velvet box.
your stomach dipped.
âdonât freak out,â he said quickly. âitâs not, like, a thing. i just saw it and thought of you. thatâs all.â
you opened it slowly.
inside was a necklace, gold, delicate, a tiny star on a fine chain. barely there, but still beautiful. something that caught the light just right.
âhĂŠctorâŚâ
âyou donât have to wear it,â he said, rubbing the back of his neck. âi just⌠you look up at the sky so much, and it made me think of you. thatâs dumb, right?â
you shook your head.
âno. itâs not dumb.â
he reached out, slow.
âcan iâŚ?â
you nodded.
he fastened it around your neck, his fingers brushing your skin. you held your breath.
and when he stepped back to look at you, his eyes softened.
âperfect,â he said.
you didnât cry. not then.
but something shifted inside you. something quiet and seismic.
you wore the necklace every day after that.
under your uniform, tucked into your sweater at work. even to sleep. you touched it when you were anxious. let your fingers find the tiny star when you missed him.
you felt⌠seen.
loved, maybe.
but nothing good stays untouched for long.
camila noticed the necklace two days after school started again.
âcute,â she said, twisting her lip. âreal gold?â
you didnât answer.
she smirked.
âmust be nice, having a boyfriend with a black card. youâre really playing the long game, huh?â
you froze.
âwhatâs that supposed to mean?â
she shrugged. âjust saying. not everyone gets a promotion from barista to princess without putting in work.â
you walked away before your hands could shake.
you didnât tell hĂŠctor.
again.
but you shouldâve.
because you were about to need him more than ever.
the first time he said it, i love you, it wasnât planned.
no candles, no build-up, no carefully picked moment.
it was raining. you were curled up on his bed, wearing his hoodie, socks mismatched. you were both tired, he had practice all morning, you had two shifts back to back, and your eyes kept fluttering shut during the movie playing in the background.
he turned toward you, head on his arm, eyes soft.
you didnât even notice right away. not until he said it again, this time quieter. slower. more certain.
âi love you.â
your breath caught.
he didnât rush to fill the silence. he didnât take it back or explain it away. just watched you with that look. the one that made you feel like the world wasnât spinning so fast. like maybe you could stop running and rest for a minute.
you didnât say it back right away.
you blinked, heart thudding in your chest, and whispered, âwhy?â
he smiled, small, real, almost sad.
âbecause you still show up, even when everything tries to tell you not to.â
your throat burned. your fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie. your eyes stung.
and when you finally said it, i love you too, his shoulders dropped like heâd been holding that breath for weeks.
he didnât kiss you. not right away.
he just pulled you closer. held you like you were something breakable and sacred at the same time.
like he knew you hadnât been held like that in a long time.
after that, things got easier.
he called you more. waited outside the cafĂŠ when your shifts ran late. sent you dumb tiktoks and notes in your locker. sometimes he showed up at your place with dinner, stuff your mom liked, stuff your brother would actually eat.
he never made it a big deal.
never made you feel small about needing help.
never made it feel like charity.
just said, youâd do the same for me.
you fell for him a little more every time he said stuff like that.
he called you star girl sometimes. said the necklace made you look like you were born under something magic.
you rolled your eyes at him, but you never took it off.
not even once.
one night, after your shift, you both sat in his car in the parking lot. your feet were killing you, your voice was hoarse, and your eyes burned from staying open too long.
he reached over, took your hand.
âcome away with me this summer,â he said.
you blinked. âwhat?â
âsomewhere quiet. no pressure. no uniforms. just you and me and maybe the sea.â
you laughed. âand how would we afford that?â
âiâll figure it out.â
âyou say that like itâs easy.â
he looked at you, serious now. steady.
âi say it like i want you there. and when i want something, i make it happen.â
you looked away.
no one had ever made room for you like that before. not in plans. not in futures.
you squeezed his hand.
âokay,â you whispered. âjust you and me and the sea.â
he smiled, wide. like youâd given him the world.
you started dreaming again.
tiny dreams.
less tired. more time. a quiet apartment with bookshelves. a degree with your name on it. dinner that wasnât just toast or soup. a boy with brown eyes and soft hands waiting at the end of every day.
you let yourself believe you could have that.
you let yourself feel safe.
loved.
wanted.
just long enough for it to really hurt when it was taken away.
you noticed the change before it happened.
it started in the eyes. the way he looked at you.
less soft. less sure. less warm.
just for a moment, maybe two. but you felt it. deep, right between your ribs.
you brushed it off at first.
maybe he was tired. school, training, everything piling up. you told yourself you were being paranoid. that old voice in your head, the one that used to whisper they donât stay, was lying again.
but then the texts got shorter. the calls went unanswered. the lunch spot behind the library sat cold and empty for three days in a row.
and then⌠the whispering started again.
it was different this time. sharper. louder. less subtle.
someone knew.
you caught it in the hallway.
âheard she sold the necklace.â
âseriously? damn. i knew she was in it for the money.â
âpoor thingâs gotta pay rent somehow, i guess.â
your blood ran cold.
you didnât say anything. didnât ask. didnât confront.
you waited for him to bring it up.
but he didnât.
not until the fourth night you waited for him after your shift, in the freezing cold, with your fingers numb and your chest tight and your backpack too heavy.
his car pulled up late.
he didnât smile when he saw you.
you slid into the seat, heart already racing. he didnât kiss your cheek. he didnât say hey, star girl.
he just drove. quiet. stiff. hands clenched on the wheel.
you didnât ask until you were two turns away from your apartment.
âdid something happen?â
he didnât answer right away.
just exhaled. sharp. through his nose.
and thenâ
âi heard you pawned it.â
your heart dropped.
âwhat?â
âthe necklace.â
your voice cracked. âwhat are you talking about?â
âcamila saidââ
âcamila?â you cut in. âyouâre listening to camila?â
his jaw tightened. âshe showed me. a friend of hers works at the shop downtown. said you came in last week.â
your mouth went dry.
you opened it. closed it. opened it again.
because it was true. you had gone. but not to sell it. not to pawn it. you wanted to ask if they could hold it. just in case. if things got worse.
you didnât do it. you couldnât.
you still wore it. every day. tucked under your uniform. over your heart.
âi didnât sell it,â you whispered.
he didnât look at you.
âyou really think iâm using you?â your voice trembled.
âi donât know what to think right now.â
âyou think iâm a gold digger?â
he winced at the word, but didnât deny it.
you blinked, tears building fast, throat closing.
âi helped pay for my momâs medication last week,â you said, voice barely a breath. âwe ran out. the insurance wouldnât cover the new one. she was in pain, hĂŠctor. i didnât tell you because i didnât wanna make you feel like you had to fix it. because i know youâre not a bank. youâre a person. the person iââ
your voice cracked.
ââi loved.â
his face crumpled for half a second. but he turned away. again.
âyou shouldâve told me,â he said quietly.
you laughed, a bitter, wet sound.
âand you shouldâve believed me.â
silence.
you looked out the window. hand pressed flat over your chest, where the necklace sat, cold against your skin.
âpull over,â you whispered.
âwhat?â
âpull over.â
he did.
you stepped out. shut the door before he could say anything else. started walking.
and he let you go.
you didnât cry when you got home.
you didnât cry when your mom asked if you were okay, or when your brother offered you the last piece of bread from dinner.
you cried when you got to your room. when you closed the door. when you sat on your floor, in the dark, and finally unclasped the necklace and held it in your hand.
it glowed a little in the streetlight from your window.
a gift. a promise. a lie?
you didnât know anymore.
you stopped answering his texts.
you couldnât look at him in the halls. didnât go behind the library. didnât walk past his locker.
he tried. once.
âcan we talk?â
you shook your head. didnât trust your voice.
he nodded. stepped back.
but he looked wrecked.
and you hated that part of you still wanted to run to him. still wanted him to take it back. to say he was sorry. to say i believe you.
but he didnât.
not yet.
so you stayed quiet.
and tired.
and alone.
the first night he didnât come to find you, you couldnât breathe.
he didnât text you. didnât leave a voicemail. didnât even try to look for you after school. you spent the whole night trying to tell yourself it wasnât personal. maybe he needed time. maybe he was too ashamed. maybe he just didnât know what to say.
but the silence echoed. louder than any apology. louder than anything he couldâve said.
you tried to distract yourself. books, homework, scrolling through your phone as if it could ease the ache gnawing at your chest. but nothing worked. nothing could fill the space he left behind.
you found yourself wishing youâd never said it. wishing you could take back those words, the ones that shatteredeverything. wishing that maybe, just maybe, if you had just stayed quiet, everything wouldâve been okay.
but you couldnât go back.
and in the silence, it became real. this wasnât a misunderstanding. this wasnât just a fight. this was something bigger. something that felt too heavy to carry.
the pain, his pain, stuck to your ribs. suffocated you. not from the words he said, but from the words he didnât say.
he never even tried to fix it.
the next day, he didnât try to find you. he didnât come to your locker, didnât sit beside you in class. he walked past you in the hallway, his gaze drifting somewhere else, anywhere but toward you.
it stung. the cold indifference. the way he looked like you werenât even worth a glance anymore. like you were just another girl he used to care about.
he didn't apologize. he didnât even see you.
he just, walked away.
and you hated yourself for still feeling something.
you tried to keep your distance. tried to push him out of your thoughts. out of your heart. but no matter how many times you told yourself you were better off, you couldnât shake the image of his eyes. the way they softened when they looked at you. the way heâd whispered âi love youâ like heâd meant it.
but that was before.
now, all you had were the remnants of the promises heâd made.
the necklace. the plans. the quiet moments. the love you thought you had.
and it hurt. oh god, it hurt more than you thought anything could.
you kept walking. kept working. kept pretending that it was okay, that you were okay. but every step felt like a betrayal of the love you had given him. the love youâd believed in.
that night, after another shift, you barely made it home before your mom noticed.
âyou look terrible,â she said. âhowâs your day?â
you didnât answer right away. just slid off your jacket and put it on the chair. sat down at the kitchen table.
âworkâs fine,â you said, your voice shaking despite the effort to sound normal. âitâs fine.â
but she wasnât fooled.
she sat across from you, her eyes narrowing. âyou know you can talk to me, right?â
you nodded. but the words were stuck in your throat. the words that needed to come out wouldnât.
because they werenât just about a fight.
it was about everything.
you stayed quiet. stared down at the table, where the unfinished bowl of soup from earlier sat cold.
âdoes he love you, honey?â she asked, her voice soft, gentle. like she already knew.
the question hit you like a punch to the gut. does he?
you thought you knew the answer.
you thought he did.
but now? it felt like that love had been a fragile illusion.
âi donât know,â you whispered, voice breaking. âi really thought he did, mom. i really did.â
the next day, he still didnât talk to you.
but she did.
camila. the girl who had spread the rumors. the one whoâd whispered about you being a gold digger. the one who had poisoned his mind with lies.
she smiled at you like nothing had happened. like she hadnât been the one to rip the love you had apart with her venomous words.
âhey,â she said sweetly, leaning against the lockers like she owned the space. âstill hanging around him? thought youâd know by now. boys like him donât stay with girls like you. they never do.â
you didnât respond. couldnât.
your stomach twisted, but you didnât give her the satisfaction of seeing you break.
you could feel her eyes on you as you walked away, but you didnât turn around. you didnât let her win.
by the time the final bell rang, the weight of the day crushed down on you. the world felt like it was closing in. your chest ached with every breath, your heart heavy, suffocating in the grief you couldnât shake.
when you got to your locker to grab your things, you found something unexpected.
a small envelope, tucked into the corner of your books.
your hands shook as you opened it. and there, inside, was a note.
it wasnât from him.
it wasnât even signed.
just words, scrawled quickly. desperate.
he's sorry. he doesnât know what to do. he needs you.
you stared at it. your vision blurred, and the sting in your chest deepened.
he needs you. but where was he? where was his apology? where was the man who promised to never leave?
he hadnât even fought for you.
and the truth cut deeper than anything else.
he was still the same. still too afraid to face the mess heâd made. too scared to fix what was broken between you.
he had let you walk away. had let her win. let her voice drown out his love for you.
you couldnât stay anymore.
not for him. not for this.
you folded the note carefully and shoved it into your bag. you walked out of the school, the weight of everything pressing on your chest, and didnât look back.
that night, after another endless shift, you found him waiting for you. he was standing at the end of the street, hands shoved deep in his pockets. eyes wide, searching.
you didnât stop.
you couldnât.
and when you walked past him, you heard his voice crack.
âi love you.â
you didnât turn around. didnât say anything. didnât stop walking.
because love wasnât enough anymore.
he didnât sleep that night. couldnât.
his phone was on his desk, buzzing with texts from friends, but he didnât care. nothing mattered except the silence between you two. thatâs all he could hear now. nothing but the deafening silence, thick with everything he hadnât said, everything he shouldâve said.
he thought about all the moments he couldâve fixed it. all the times he couldâve walked up to you and held you, apologized, and told you the truth. but no. he let his pride get in the way. let his insecurities shape his decisions. and now he was paying for it.
he sat up in his bed, staring at the wall, replaying the fight. hearing your voice break when you said, âyou think Iâm a gold digger?â like a knife to his chest. he couldnât shake it.
he thought about all the things you mustâve gone through. about your mom needing medicine. about the struggles you were fighting on your own. and he had been too selfish to see it. too blind to see that you werenât asking for anything from him except love.
the doorbell rang early in the morning, dragging him from his thoughts. he wasnât surprised when he saw his mom standing there, her arms crossed, her face full of concern.
âyou look like shit,â she said bluntly, walking in without waiting for an invitation. âwhat happened?â
âi fucked up,â he muttered, running a hand through his messy hair. âbig time.â
âwhatâd you do?â she asked, her voice softer now.
he shook his head, not sure he could explain it. not sure he could tell her that heâd messed up the best thing in his life, that heâd pushed away the only person who had ever really cared about him, really cared.
âi hurt her,â he said simply. âi hurt the one person who was real with me. and now sheâs gone.â
his mom sighed and sat down beside him. âi donât know what you want me to say, Hector. but you canât change it unless you show her you care. unless you prove that youâre willing to fight for her. words are cheap, son. youâve got to show her you mean it.â
he swallowed thickly. âbut what if she doesnât want to fight for me anymore? what if sheâs just... done with me?â
âthen youâll live with that,â she said, looking him dead in the eye. âbut youâve got to at least try. sheâs not a game you can just walk away from. sheâs a person. and youâve got to show her that you see her as that. if you love her, youâll fight for her, no matter what.â
he nodded, but the weight of the reality set in. could he fix this? or had he already ruined everything beyond repair?
the next day at school was just as empty as the night before. he walked through the halls, trying to act like everything was fine. but every glance, every whisper, reminded him of the mess heâd made. his friends were quieter around him, his old group of popular kids acting like nothing had happened. but he knew better. they werenât the ones he was fighting for.
he wasnât even sure they cared about him anymore.
and then he saw you.
you werenât looking at him. you never looked at him anymore.
you were with your friends, sitting by the lockers, talking quietly, like you didnât even notice him across the hallway. and he couldnât help but watch. watch how you smiled at them. how easy it seemed for you to laugh with them, like the last few weeks hadnât existed. like you hadnât been in love with him.
but he knew. He knew the truth, and it ate him alive.
his phone buzzed in his pocket. a text from his best friend:Â âyo, you good?â
he didnât answer.
he couldnât.
he knew if he answered, itâd be a lie. because he wasnât good. he wasnât even close to good.
he was broken. and it was all his fault.
you had to leave early that day. your mom had called, telling you she couldnât pick up her prescription, and the pharmacy wouldnât hold it any longer.
you didnât want to be there. didnât want to be anywhere near that school, near him. near the empty spaces where his words used to live.
the walk home was long. longer than it usually felt. with each step, you felt the weight of everything. everything that had happened, everything that was falling apart, and everything you had tried so hard to hold together.
and as you walked, you realized something: you missed him. you missed him so fucking much.
you hated yourself for it. because he hadnât fought for you. he hadnât cared enough to look for you. to hold you and make it right.
and yet, you were still here, still aching for him, still wondering if things could go back to the way they were before everything fell apart.
the whole situation made you sick. it made you feel small and foolish.
you needed to take a breath. you needed to move on. but every time you told yourself that, you could still feel him. feel his presence, his touch, his words, lingering like a ghost you couldnât shake.
he didnât wait long after you left.
he caught up with you on your way home. when you saw him in the distance, you stopped in your tracks, trying to pretend you didnât feel the same pang in your chest as he got closer.
he was panting, out of breath, his eyes wild like heâd been searching for you for hours.
âplease... talk to me,â he begged. âi canât just let you walk away from me. not like this.â
you swallowed hard, eyes burning. âyou already did. you walked away first.â
his hand reached for yours, but you pulled back, too hurt to let him in.
âi didnât mean it,â he said, voice raw, desperate. âplease. iâm so fucking sorry. you have no idea how much i regret listening to them. to camila... to everyone. iâve been an idiot. i was scared, okay? i didnât think someone like you would ever love someone like me. i thoughtââ
âyou thought what?â you interrupted, voice trembling. âthat i was just after your money? that i was just another girl who wanted a piece of your life?â
he winced at the accusation, guilt washing over his face.
âiâm sorry. i didnât think. i shouldâve trusted you. but i was just so scared that i wasnât good enough for you. i was scared of losing everything, and i let that fear take over. i let it make me do things iâm not proud of.â
you stood there, feeling like you were holding onto something that was slipping through your fingers.
âyou shouldnât have been scared,â you whispered. âyou shouldâve trusted me.â
he nodded, tears gathering in his eyes. âi know. i was stupid. but please... please donât walk away from me. i love you. and i canât lose you.â
for the first time in days, you met his eyes, and for the first time in days, you felt the faintest trace of something, maybe hope. maybe, just maybe, he still meant it.
but for now, it wasnât enough.
he didnât text you after that night.
you didnât text him either.
and the world stayed still for a while.
it wasnât silence the way it had been before, cold and final. this was different. quieter, softer. like the space between two people holding their breath, unsure if theyâre falling apart or falling back together.
you were tired. tired in a way that sleep couldnât fix. tired of hoping, of second-guessing, of giving and not knowing what youâd get back.
you still showed up to school. you still worked both jobs. still helped your mom with everything she needed. still carried the weight of a life no one at school ever saw.
and he noticed.
he saw the way your uniform wrinkled more now, like you didnât have time to care. he saw the dark circles under your eyes. saw the way you zoned out in class, like your body was there but your mind wasnât. he saw all of it. and it killed him.
because he knew that pain. knew he had a part in it.
and even worse, he knew you wouldnât let him help anymore.
it was a week after heâd found you on that street when you saw each other again. not just passing glances or accidental run ins. this time, it was real.
you were sitting in the back of the library, curled into a hoodie three sizes too big, your head in your arms, notebook half-filled with messy equations and tired handwriting.
you didnât hear him approach.
âyouâre gonna burn out,â he said quietly.
you looked up, blinking slowly. âalready have.â
he sat down across from you like it was the most natural thing in the world. no drama. no begging. just silence and the low hum of pages turning around you.
âiâm not here to fix anything,â he said after a beat. âi know i donât have the right. but i just wanted to sit with you. if youâll let me.â
you didnât answer right away.
you shouldâve said no. told him to leave. told him that he lost his chance.
but the truth was, you missed him. and you were tired of pretending that you didnât.
so you shrugged.
âitâs a free country.â
and he smiled. just barely. just enough to let hope breathe again.
you didnât talk much that afternoon. he watched you scribble notes. you watched him flip through a textbook he wasnât really reading. every so often, your knees would bump under the table, and neither of you pulled away.
it was stupid how natural it still felt. how easy it was to fall back into rhythm, even with all the cracks between you.
but neither of you brought up the fight.
not yet.
it was too soon. the wound was still fresh. and you both knew that healing would take more than one soft moment in the library.
still... it was a start.
later that week, he found you in the cafeteria, sitting alone, a half eaten sandwich beside your notebook. your head was resting against your hand, eyes barely open.
he didnât say anything. just slid into the seat beside you and offered his water bottle.
you took it without a word, too tired to argue, too drained to push him away again.
âyouâre not sleeping,â he said gently.
you gave him a look. âgee, wonder why.â
he looked down, ashamed. âi deserve that.â
âyou deserve worse,â you muttered, but your voice lacked the venom it once had.
he nodded. âi know.â
a pause.
and then, softly, too soft:
âi donât expect you to forgive me. not yet. maybe not ever. but i just want to show up. for you. however youâll let me.â
you stared at him for a long moment. longer than you meant to.
âyou can sit,â you said finally, nodding at the chair across from you. âbut thatâs all. donât expect anything more.â
he nodded. and he stayed.
and just like that, he became part of your orbit again.
not your boyfriend. not your enemy. just⌠there.
he started walking you to your classes, just a few steps behind, never pushing. he offered you his jacket when it rained. he kept his distance when you needed space. and sometimes, he didnât say anything at all.
but he was there.
and that meant something.
not everything. not yet. but something.
because you were still healing.
and healing doesnât happen in grand gestures or perfect apologies.
sometimes, itâs just someone showing up. again and again. until the silence doesnât feel so heavy anymore.
he knew he had no right to ask for more.
he was lucky you even let him sit beside you. lucky you didnât spit his name like poison anymore. lucky you didnât flinch when his hand brushed yours by accident.
he was still tiptoeing around your pain. still watching you fold into yourself every time the world got too loud. still noticing the little things, how you wore the same three hoodies on rotation, how you never touched the food in the cafeteria anymore, how your phone always had a message draft open but never sent.
you were hanging on by threads. and he hated that he used to be one of them, and then chose to cut himself loose.
so he didnât push. he didnât beg. he stayed in the quiet with you.
and he noticed things again. like how you never showed up to first period anymore. how youâd started asking to borrow pens because you kept forgetting your own. how your eyes glazed over in the middle of conversations, like your brain just... shut off sometimes.
he asked around, lowkey. your teachers were frustrated. your friends were worried. the front office said youâd been absent a lot.
he didnât ask why. he already knew.
he figured it out when he passed by the corner store one night, walking home after practice, and saw you inside, half asleep behind the counter, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, eyes barely open. it was past ten.
his heart sank.
he stood there outside the glass door for a while, just watching you ring up a womanâs groceries, nodding politely, smiling weakly. it wasnât your real smile. it was your i donât have the energy to exist smile. and he felt like shit for knowing it.
when he finally came in, the bell above the door jingled, and you didnât even look up.
âiâm clocking out soon,â you mumbled, automatically, voice tired and soft.
ânot here to shop,â he said gently.
your head jerked up like youâd been shocked. and your eyes met his. and you just blinked, like your brain was short-circuiting.
âwhy are you here,â you asked, voice flat.
âi was walking home,â he said. âand saw you.â
you didnât answer. just turned back to the register, scanned a pack of gum for a teenager with headphones in.
âdo you always work this late?â he asked quietly.
you didnât look at him. didnât need to.
âsomeone has to pay the bills.â
he nodded slowly, like the guilt in his stomach hadnât just quadrupled.
âi didnât know.â
âyou didnât ask,â you said simply.
and that hurt worse than if youâd yelled.
when your shift ended, you didnât expect him to still be there. but he was, leaning against the wall near the exit, arms crossed, eyes soft.
âyou really donât have to do this,â you muttered, walking past him.
âi know,â he said, falling into step beside you. âbut i want to.â
you sighed, too tired to argue. and so the two of you walked in silence. your backpack looked heavier than usual. maybe it was. maybe you were just too drained to hide it anymore.
he offered to carry it halfway through.
you said no.
but when your steps started to slow and you winced mid stride, he reached over and took it anyway.
you didnât stop him.
the walk to your building was quiet, but not uncomfortable. just slow. heavy. like everything between you was still being rebuilt, brick by broken brick.
he paused at your doorstep, holding the bag out to you.
âi meant it, you know,â he said.
you looked up.
âmeant what.â
âwhen i said iâd show up. no matter what.â
your fingers brushed his when you took the bag back. you didnât pull away this time.
âokay,â you whispered.
just that.
but for him, it was enough to keep going.
because maybe this wasnât the end. maybe you were still letting him in. inch by inch. breath by breath.
and if there was still space for him, no matter how small, he was gonna stay.
every time.
until you believed he meant it. until you believed you were worth it.
and maybe, just maybe, youâd let him love you again. this time without fear. without conditions. just love.
quiet, steady, and real.
you didnât mean to fall asleep at school again.
you tried. really. but your eyes had started burning halfway through third period, and your head had gotten heavy, and the warmth of the classroom mixed with the low buzz of the teacherâs voice just⌠pulled you under. you didnât even feel it happen.
you woke up to the principalâs voice.
he was standing over you, your name tight in his mouth, like heâd said it more than once. your classmates were staring. the room was too quiet. your face was warm with embarrassment, but your limbs were heavier than shame.
you mumbled an apology and tried to blink yourself back to life, but your head still felt like it was filled with fog. your teacher looked guilty. the principal looked frustrated. and you just felt small.
he asked you to come with him.
you didnât say anything. you just stood.
you sat across from him in his office, hands in your lap, hoodie sleeves tugged down past your knuckles. youâd been here before. when your absences started stacking. when your grades slipped. when someone reported that you were always nodding off, always running late, always ânot quite here.â
he didnât yell. he wasnât cruel. he just sighed.
âthis isnât sustainable,â he said gently. âyouâre clearly overwhelmed. your teachers are worried. youâve changed, and not in the way we like seeing.â
you nodded slowly, unable to argue. because it was true.
âis everything okay at home?â he asked.
you hesitated, then nodded again. even though the truth was, not really. but what could he do? what could anyone do?
âiâm just tired,â you whispered. âthatâs all.â
his frown deepened.
you left with a warning and a pass to go lie down in the nurseâs office. you didnât go. you just sat on the steps outside the building, elbows on your knees, forehead resting on your arms.
you didnât cry.
not because it didnât hurt.
but because you didnât even have the energy to.
hector found you like that.
he was supposed to be at practice. he left early. said he had a stomach ache. he didnât. he just had a feeling. a gut-wrenching, aching sort of feeling that he needed to find you.
he spotted you from across the quad, folded up into yourself, hair falling forward, body still.
his chest cracked open.
he crossed the space between you like it was instinct. like his legs moved before his brain could catch up.
he sat beside you without asking.
you didnât look up.
âi heard,â he said softly. âwhat happened.â
your voice was barely there. âdid the whole school?â
âdoesnât matter.â
you exhaled shakily, but didnât speak.
âyou wanna talk about it?â
you shook your head.
so he didnât push.
you sat like that for a while, him beside you, you folded in two, the sky slowly shifting above.
then, out of nowhere, you whispered, âiâm trying.â
he turned to you.
âi know.â
âiâm trying so hard, hector. and i just⌠iâm so tired of trying. and still getting nowhere.â
his throat tightened. âi see you. i see all of it.â
âno you donât,â you said, finally looking at him, eyes rimmed red. âno one does. they all think iâm lazy, or ungrateful, or not trying hard enough. but iâm doing everything. iâm keeping my mom alive, and iâm paying rent, and iâm working every shift they give me, and iâm still failing everything andââ
your voice cracked.
ââand i donât know what else to do.â
he didnât hesitate. he pulled you into him, arms wrapping around you like heâd wanted to since the first moment he messed up.
and you didnât fight it.
you just sank into him, into the warmth of him, into the steady heartbeat under his hoodie. and for the first time in weeks, you let yourself fall.
âiâm so sorry,â he whispered into your hair. âfor every second you had to feel alone.â
you didnât say anything.
but your fingers curled into the fabric of his sleeve like you didnât want to let go.
he didnât leave your side after that.
not for a second.
he helped you with your homework that night. sat beside you on the floor of your living room while your mom rested in the next room. he watched you write your essays, helped quiz you for math, brought you coffee even though you told him not to.
he didnât care.
he was there.
he texted you in the morning to make sure you woke up. met you outside your first class with breakfast in a paper bag. walked you to work after school. waited outside until your shift ended.
you kept telling him you didnât need saving.
he kept telling you he wasnât trying to save you. he just wanted to love you right this time.
and little by little, piece by piece, you started to believe him.
because love doesnât always come in grand gestures or perfect words.
sometimes it shows up late, with shaking hands and tired hearts.
sometimes itâs soft and quiet and steady.
sometimes, itâs him, carrying your backpack without asking, walking you home in the rain, whispering that heâs proud of you when you finish your homework even though your eyes wonât stay open.
sometimes, love is just showing up.
and this time, he was here to stay.
could you do a long smut where Jude and Reader are dating and she's just extremely innocent and that turns Jude on, but at the same time he wants to corrupt her, he wants to protect her innocence. The reader sits on his lap or is always wearing short clothes (as she is inside the house) and he can't take it anymore... one time, they are kissing and Jude loses control, he gets on top of her and kisses her with desire and So she's all confused because she feels strange, like she's never felt before and she wants more, but Jude gets off her right away and he's so hard and the reader can't help but watch that with curiosity... they don't They talk about Aquil, but as the days go by, she notices that he doesn't want to kiss her and always pushes her away and this makes her sad and she decides to talk to him about it... he is frank with her saying that she is extremely innocent and that the things he wants to do to her have destroyed her innocence; She says she trusts him and wants to go all the way with him (even though she doesn't know exactly what to do) and then Jude takes her virginity, being extremely careful and always asking if she's sure. Reader stares in fascination upon seeing him naked for the first time and Jude can't help but be enchanted by how adorable she is. She had never felt that way, Jude's hands are all over her body and when Jude enters her, no matter how much it hurts, it makes her feel so good (please could you put dirty talk in that, I'm just a bitch about Jude being naughty and talking dirty)
I finally did it! After two weeks of writing, Iâve finished this project! This is the longest fic Iâve ever written, and I poured my heart into it as an apology for my long absence. If you notice any repeated scenes⌠well, thatâs because I wrote this over two weeks, and my memory is about as reliable as a goldfishâs. Plus, I was way too tired to edit. I tried to stick to the request as much as I could but my imagination got carried away.
-Much love, Bianca đť
Masterlist
đđđđđđđ â In which you and Jude are soulmates.
đđđđđđđ â Jude Bellingham x you
đđđđ đđđđđ â 24.2k
Warnings! FLUFF! Jude is so soft with her, he's so in love, insecurities, first love, established relationship, this is the softest thing I've ever written, slight angst for the plot (nothing serious), NSFW! SMUT (18+), corruption kink, virgin reader, first time, unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (f & m receiving), fingering, soft sex, multiple orgasms, dom!Jude, sub!reader, a little surprise at the end for y'all
Growing up, your life wasnât just structured; it was scripted.
A carefully choreographed routine, every step dictated by expectations you had no hand in setting.
Your parents didnât ask for much, just obedience, and you learned quickly that nodding and murmuring yes was easier than explaining the no lodged in your throat. Childhood wasnât about exploration; it was about perfection. Whims were traded for polished manners, because mistakes were lessons learned the hard way.
Mornings began with perfectly made beds and meticulously crafted schedules, while evenings were reserved for review sessions of tests you wouldnât take for weeks. Every minute of the day was accounted for, leaving little room for anything but perfection.
So you became a master of disguise.
The messy, loud, imperfect parts of you? Those were hidden away, locked behind a wall of politeness and precision. You never thought to question it. This was life, wasnât it?
At school, the contrast was striking.
Your classmates had lives that seemed so chaotic, so mesmerisingly beautiful. At least to you. You dreamed of being like them. Of joining the dance team, of skipping class, of reading books that your mother didn't pick out for you.
They had the kind of freedom you couldnât fathom. They whispered about parties that ended at sunrise, secret crushes, first kisses stolen under streetlights. You listened, fascinated but silent. Rules first, fun later.
But "later" had a funny way of never showing up.
And then came Charlie.
You first met her on orientation day, a whirlwind of awkward introductions and icebreakers that felt anything but natural. Later, you discovered she was your roommate.
At first, you werenât sure what to make of her. Charlie was⌠a lot.
At first glance, she seemed like someone you might not click withâher energy almost too big for the room, her laugh too loud for the small spaces you preferred to inhabit. But Charlie wasnât the kind of person you could easily dismiss. She had a way of pulling you into her orbit before you even realized it.
She was the type to breathe chaos into order, and somehow, it felt exhilarating instead of terrifying.
Her hair was perpetually tousled, like sheâd just stepped out of a convertible, and her eyeliner was smudged in a way that teetered between effortlessly cool and slightly rebellious. Charlie didnât believe in plans or schedules. She just lived.
And that scared you as much as it fascinated you.
Charlieâs world was the opposite of yours. Plans? Schedules? Those were foreign concepts to her. She moved through life with a kind of chaotic grace, unburdened by rules or the need to please anyone. It wasnât just her confidence that drew you in; it was her freedom, the way she seemed to exist without fear of judgment.
So when she beggedâinsistedâyou come to her boyfriendâs birthday party, you barely had time to think up an excuse. âItâs downtown,â she said, practically vibrating with excitement. âYou never go downtown. Youâll love it. Or hate it. But at least youâll survive it. Please?â
You hesitated, of course. Clubs werenât your thing. Loud music, strangers, flashing lightsâit sounded like a nightmare. But Charlie had this way of pulling you out of your shell with sheer force of will.
And thatâs how you ended up there.
The nightclub was chaos incarnate.
The music wasnât just loudâit was alive, a relentless bassline that seemed to sync with your heartbeat and vibrate in your throat. The air was thick with perfume, cologne, sweat, and the faint tang of spilled drinks. Lights pulsed like strobes, casting sharp shadows and brilliant flashes over the crowd.
You clung to the drink Charlie had handed youâsomething neon pink and overly sweetâsticking to the edge of the dance floor, hoping to blend into the wallpaper. But, alas.
âHaving Fun!â She had shouted over the music when she found you a half-hour later. Her smile was wide, her cheeks flushed from dancing.
âYeah!â youâd shouted back, though you were far from it. Your feet ached from heels you regretted wearing the moment you stepped outside, and your head throbbed from the bassline that seemed to shake the very floor.
Charlie didnât buy it, but she didnât press. She just grinned and teased, âLoosen up! We're here to partayyyy!â before spinning back into the crowd.
Loosening up was easier said than done.
You stayed, partly out of stubbornness and partly because sheâd promised burgers afterward. But the crowd didnât get any less overwhelming, and the bass didnât grow any quieter. Soon enough, the drinks youâd nervously sipped started making demands on your bladder.
Navigating the club was its own kind of ordeal, like threading a needle through a sea of moving bodies. By the time you reached the bathroom line, you were convinced the club had been designed by sadists who enjoyed watching people suffer in heels.
And thatâs when you met him.
You were half-distracted, balancing your drink in one hand while trying to make your way through the packed hallway without spilling it. Your friends had already disappeared into the crowd, and you were craning your neck, trying to spot them, when you took the corner too sharply.
It happened fast. A solid wallâor at least thatâs what it felt likeâstopped you in your tracks. Your drink, the bright, sticky concoction it was, jumped out of your cup, splattering the pristine white shirt in front of you.
âAh, no!â you yelped, realizing what youâd done as you stumbled back a step. The sound of your drink hitting fabric was followed by an awkward silence.
Your eyes shot up, wide with panic. âOh my god, Iâm so sorry!â The words tumbled out before you could think, your heart pounding like it might leap out of your chest.
The guy blinked, looking down at his now-ruined shirt, then back at you. For a split second, you braced yourself for anger, irritation, or some sharp comment that would make the whole situation worse. Like you were so used to. Your head instinctively bent, ready for the scolding you were sure you'd get.
But instead, he laughedâshort and low but unmistakable.
âGuess I shouldnât have worn white, huh?â he said, his accent soft, the words rolling off his tongue like he found the whole thing funny.
You blinked, caught off guard by his reaction. âIâuhâwait, let meââ You spun around, spotting a table nearby and snatching up a handful of napkins. Your hands were shaking as you turned back to him. Memories of fists and broken plates and your fault, your fault danced in the corners of your mind.
You pushed them away.
The napkins were gone before you knew it, your fingers flying over his shirt, trying to mop up the pink liquid. His brows furrowing in concern as he watched your panicked motions, but when he reached out to touch your wrist, you flinched.
âHey,â he said gently, âitâs okay.â And you had to force yourself to relax into his grip. âLook, why donât I go clean up in the bathroom real quick, and you can take a deep breath. Iâm sure we can get the stain out.â
He stepped away, and you could feel your breath return in increments, your heartbeat slowing as he spoke. Your gaze followed him, watching the way his shoulders moved under the white fabric, now blotched with pink. He disappeared down the hallway, leaving you standing there, clutching a pile of sticky napkins, cheeks burning with embarrassment.
You wanted to melt into the floor, vanish into the neon lights and pounding music. Instead, you took a deep breath, like heâd suggested, and tried to shake off the lingering panic.
When he came back, his shirt was damp but clean enough, a faint pink stain barely visible. âSee?â he said, grinning as he gestured to his shirt. âNo harm done.â
You managed a small smile. âIâm still really sorry. I wasnât paying attention.â
He shrugged, the movement easy, as if he genuinely didnât care. âIt happens. You okay?â
The question caught you off guard. âMe? Yeah, Iâm fine. Why wouldnât I be?â
He tilted his head, studying you for a moment. âI dunno. Just⌠you looked kinda spooked back there.â
âNah, I was just worried about your shirt is all.â You could feel your cheeks start to flush, a mix of embarrassment and self-consciousness. âI didnât mean to ruin it. I'm sorry.â
He grinned. âI told, it's cool. How about this,â He gestured toward the bar, where a long line snaked out into the crowded hallway, before continuing. âNext drink is on me. You game?â
You hesitated for a split second. This was the part where you should say no, walk away and find Charlie or the bathroom. This was the part where your mom would warn you against talking to strangers. And then youâd go back to your normal, structured life and forget the whole incident.
But something about him made you pause.
For some weird reason, you felt safe with him, which was strange because he was still a stranger. But then again, thatâs life, right? Making mistakes? Learning by them? Trying things and seeing if they work out or not? Maybe it was time to do that.
Maybe it was time to try.
So you nodded. âYeah.â
*******
Eight months. Thatâs how long itâs been, and somehow, heâs still just as captivating as the first day. Maybe even more so.
Youâve never felt anything like this beforeânot with anyone. The way Jude looks at you, the way he listens when you speak, itâs like he sees through the layers youâve spent years building up. Sometimes, itâs unnerving, how easily he seems to read you, like your thoughts arenât secrets at all, but something written in a language only he understands.
Heâs everything you never thought youâd find in someoneâcharming in a way that feels effortless, patient when the shadows of your past make you falter, and protective in a way that doesnât smother but shields.
Itâs in the way he holds doors open without making it a spectacle, or the way his hand hovers near yours, like heâs waiting for you to reach out, to let him in. He never forces, never pushesâjust waits.
And when you finally let him, itâs like coming home to something you never knew you needed.
He makes you feel precious, in a way thatâs unfamiliar. His touch is careful, his words thoughtful. He treats you like something rare, something fragileânot because he thinks youâre weak, but because he doesnât want to be the one to hurt you.
And thatâs a feeling you never thought youâd know.
Not after growing up in a house where fists spoke louder than words, where anger lived in every corner. Where the man who shouldâve been your protector was your first lesson in betrayal.
For so long, that was all you knew. Rage masquerading as love. Pain disguised as discipline. Youâd convinced yourself that was all there was, that kindness and warmth were things meant for other people, not you.
But then Jude came along. And with him, the impossible became real.
He showed you that there are more ways to love than hurt. That there are words that could comfort instead of cut, that there were hands that could hold instead of slap. That maybeâjust maybeâyou deserved more than what youâd gotten.
He tells you things that make you feel like a goddess, a queen, a princess. That youâre the most beautiful thing heâs ever seen. That he could stare at you all day and never get tired of it. That heâs falling in love with you, and every word makes you fall even more in love with him too.
He calls you his princess, and it doesnât make you cringe like you think it would.
You like it.
You love him.
********
The shrill buzz of your phone pulls you from your lecture notes, dragging your attention away from the professorâs voice. You squint at the screen, the light stark against the dimmed classroom. A text from Jude lits up your screen: âIâm outside.â
Your stomach flutters, a small smile creeping onto your lips. Quickly, you tap out a reply, âComingâ before stuffing your phone back into your bag.
The professor's voice drones on, giving out last-minute details about the upcoming assignment, but your focus has already shifted. You glance at the clock, your heart ticking a beat faster. With a whispered "thank you" as class concluded, you gather your belongings in a blur of movement, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you make your way to the exit.
The crisp air outside greets you, a welcome contrast to the stuffy classroom. It doesn't take long to spot him.
Jude leans casually against his car parked by the curb, his hoodie slightly wrinkled and joggers hanging just right. The late afternoon sun catches on the strands of his messy coils, highlighting the slight curve of his lips as he catches sight of you.
âHey,â he calls, his voice carrying over the hum of campus life. He doesn't move at first, just stands there watching you, a playful glint in his eyes that make your cheeks warm.
You wave, suddenly hyperaware of the way your bag bounces against your side as you walk. By the time you reach him, his smile has softened into something warm and familiar, and before you can say a word, he reaches out, opening the passenger door with a fluid motion.
âYouâre late,â he teases, though the way he leans forward to press a quick, soft kiss to your lips told a different story.
"Am not,â you reply, your voice mock-indignant as you slip into the seat.
Jude chuckles, closing the door behind you before circling around to the driverâs side. Once he slides in, he immediately reaches for your seatbelt, the motion so casual it makes your heart skip. His fingers brushes lightly against your arm as he clicks the buckle into place. It's such a small gesture, but it carries a kind of intimacy that leaves you momentarily breathless.
âSafe and sound,â he murmurs, sitting back and adjusting his grip on the steering wheel. His gaze flickers over to you, lingering for just a second longer than necessary. âYou good?â
You nod, still caught in the warmth of his attention. âYeah. You?â
âIâm better now,â he says, flashing a grin that is so unfairly charming it should be illegal. He starts the car, the low hum of the engine blending with the soft music playing from the speakers. âHungry?â
You tilt your head, pretending to think. âHmm. Is that a trick question?â
Jude huffs, his smirk faltering. âSmartass.â
âYup,â you agree, grinning back.
He shoots you a lookâplayfully annoyed but still affectionateâand you giggle in response. Itâs the kind of thing that happens so easily between the two of youâa sense of banter that doesnât feel like fighting, just friendly sparring. It took a while for you to get used to them.
âI can cook tonight,â you offer, reaching for your phone as he eases out into traffic. âWhat do you want?â
He shrugs. âWhatever you want, babe.â
âOkay,â you murmur, scrolling through your messages to pull up Charlie's last text. Youâd asked her if she was staying over at her boyfriend's, and sheâd replied with a thumbs-up and a string of hearts. A smile crosses your lips as you tuck the phone away.
âWe've got the apartment to ourselves tonight,â you say, settling back into your seat and gazing out the window. âIf you still wanna come over, that is. I can make you dinner.â
Jude's smile turns languid. âYou know I do, princess. Iâm always up for food at your place.â
âOkay,â you murmur turning to look at the passing scene as the corners of his mouth quirk even higher.
*********
The apartment feels quieter than usual without Charlie.
Not in an uncomfortable wayâjust different. Her energy always filled the space, a constant buzz of chatter, music, and the occasional burst of laughter that never failed to make you smile. Without her, the silence feels oddly still, like the apartment itself is taking a deep breath.
You emerge from the bathroom wrapped in your fluffy pink robe, the one Charlie always teases you about but secretly adores. Your hair is slightly damp from your shower, loose strands sticking to your neck. The cool air from the air-conditioning brushes over your skin, and you shiver slightly as you step into the living room.
Jude is exactly where you left him, sprawled on the couch like he owns the place, phone balanced precariously on his knee.
His brows are drawn together in concentration, and his thumbs fly over the screen at a speed that seems almost superhuman. Heâs clearly playing some game, utterly absorbed in whatever digital battlefield heâs dominating.
You tread softly across the room, the plush carpet muffling your footsteps. He doesnât even glance up, so focused that he doesnât notice you until youâre right in front of him. When you settle onto the couch beside him, the cushion dips under your weight, and only then does he stir.
âHey, baby,â he murmurs, his voice warm and slightly distracted. His arm snakes around your waist without hesitation, pulling you into his side. His eyes stay glued to his screen, but his lips find the top of your head in a lazy, affectionate kiss that makes your heart flutter.
âHi,â you reply, your voice soft as you lean into him. His embrace is as familiar as it is comforting, the warmth wrapping around you and sinking into your bones. He smells like fresh laundry and that woodsy cologne he always wears, the one that lingers on your clothes long after heâs gone.
For a moment, you just sit there, tucked against him as he plays.
His body is solid, a loving strength that youâve come to rely on without even realizing it. You let out a contented sigh, your cheek resting against his shoulder. Jude glances at you briefly, his lips quirking into a small smile as he presses another kiss to your temple.
âYou smell so good, baby. Like strawberries,â he remarks, his tone teasing but fond.
âItâs my shampoo,â you mumble, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. His ability to fluster you with the simplest comments is as maddening as it is endearing to him.
âSmells good.â He pauses his game just long enough to tilt his head down, his nose brushing against your damp hair. âSmells like you.â
You bite your lip, the corners of your mouth twitching upward despite yourself. His charm is relentless, and even when heâs trying to be casual, it lands like a full-force assault on your heart.
For a while, the room settles into a comfortable silence.
Judeâs arm stays around you, holding you close as he continues indulging in whatever virtual madness is happening on his phone. You donât mind.
The warmth of his body against yours, the faint clicking of his fingers against the screen, and the soft hum of the air conditioner create a soothing melody, lulling you to sleep. And for a second you forget about deadlines and responsibilities, if only for a little while.
But eventually, the nagging thought of midterms creeps back in, pulling you away from the comfort of Judeâs arm draped lazily around your shoulders. You shift slightly, sighing as reality nudges its way back in. âI should study,â you mumble reluctantly, already regretting the words as they leave your mouth. âMidterms are coming up, and I need to get a head start.â
Jude freezes mid-controller click, his focus snapping to you with a speed thatâs almost comical. His brows knit together in concern as he sets the controller down and turns to you fully. âDo you need help?â he offers, his voice warm, eager, and so earnest it makes your chest ache. He sits up straighter, reluctantly moving his arm so you can wiggle free if you want to. âI could quiz you or something.â
The way his brown eyes lock onto yours tugs at you. For a fleeting moment, you consider saying yesâjust to keep him close a little longer. His enthusiasm, the little crease of worry between his brows, all of it makes you want to say yes. But youâve been here before.
You bite back a smile and shake your head. âYou know how it goes when you help me study.â
âWhat?â His face splits into a boyish grin. âIâm great at helping.â
âYou get bored,â you counter, raising an eyebrow at him.
His grin widens, the mischief in his eyes almost tangible. âI donât get bored. I keep things interesting.â
âInteresting?â You scoff lightly, though your lips twitch at the corners. âYou mean you start distracting me.â
âDistractions are good for you," he says, leaning in closer. His voice dips into that flirty tone that always seems to weaken your resolve. âKeeps your brain from overheating.â
You try to hold firm, crossing your arms as you fight the smile threatening to bloom. âDistractions,â you repeat, deadpan, âlike kissing me every five minutes?â
âOnly every five minutes?â he teases, his lips quirking upward. âIâm slacking. Iâll make it every two.â
You groan, covering your face with your hands as your cheeks flare with heat. âJude, stop.â
âWhy?â he murmurs, lowering his voice as he leans closer, his hand slipping over yours to gently tug them away from your face. âYouâre cute when you get flustered.â
You feel your heart do a little somersault as he takes your hand, his thumb tracing slow, lazy circles over your knuckles. His touch is maddeningly gentle, and his gaze is soft yet playful. âCome on, let me stay. I promise Iâll behave this time. Swear on⌠well, on your favorite pen or something.â
âYou said that last time,â you remind him, though your voice lacks the conviction you want it to have.
âAnd I meant it," he says with exaggerated sincerity. âBut then you started doing that thing where you chew on your pen and look all smart and adorable. Whatâs a guy supposed to do?â
âFocus,â you say firmly, though your lips betray you by curving into a reluctant smile.
He chuckles, the sound low and rich, sending a little flutter through you. âAlright, alright. Iâll leave you to it.â He raises his hands in mock surrender, though his grin tells you heâs far from serious.
True to his word, he pulls himself away from you, standing and stretching lazily before grabbing his phone. But before he leaves, he leans down, brushing his lips against your forehead in a kiss so soft and lingering that it leaves you momentarily breathless.
âGood luck, baby,â he murmurs, his voice warm and sweet. âYouâve got this.â
The soft click of the door closing behind him echoes in the quiet room, and you let out a long breath, trying to steady the racing of your heart. Even now, minutes after heâs left, his presence lingersâhis touch, his whispers, his look that leaves you feeling shy and disarmed.
You force yourself to turn back to your notes, determined to focus on the task at hand. For sixty blessed minutes, you manage to keep your head down and concentrate, letting the scratch of your pen on paper drown out the memory of his teasing grin.
But, as if summoned by your thoughts, he slips back into your space without so much as a sound. You only notice him when you feel the featherlight brush of his lips against the curve of your neck. A startled gasp escapes you, and your pen stills in your hand as his warm breath fans over your skin.
âHowâs the studying going?â he murmurs, his voice low and laced with playful mischief.
Your pulse quickens, and you try to muster some semblance of composure. âJude,â you whisper, his name barely audible as your voice falters at his closeness.
âHmm?â He hums, the sound rumbling softly against your skin as his hands settle on your waist, fingers toying idly with the hem of your pajama top.
âYouâre distracting me,â you manage, though the tremble in your voice betrays your lack of conviction. You're a little thankful for the break he's forcing you to take.
âAm I?â he asks innocently, slipping his hand ever so slightly under your top, his lips now brushing the sensitive spot just below your ear. You can feel the curve of his grin, knowing heâs completely aware of the effect he has on you.
You grip your pen tighter, clinging to the pretense of focus, but the heat of his palm against your skin and the teasing lilt of his voice unravel you piece by piece. Desperate for some distance, you push his chest gently, your face flaming as you turn to face him. âIâm going to cook dinner,â you declare, your tone firmer this time, though your skin betray you, burning with an unmistakable flush.
His brow arches, and for a moment, you think he might relent. But as you make your way to the kitchen, his footsteps trail right behind yours.
âYou donât give up, do you?â you ask, glancing over your shoulder, though the teasing lilt in your voice takes the sting out of the words.
âNot when it comes to you,â he replies smoothly, his grin utterly shameless as he catches up.
Once in the kitchen, you busy yourself with pulling out ingredients, determined to create a barrier between you and his relentless touching. But Jude, being Jude, is relentless in his own way. He's being very clingy today, more than usual.
As you start chopping vegetables, he edges closer, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder. His arms snake around your waist, pulling you back just slightly against his chest.
âJude,â you warn, your voice firmer this time as you wave the knife in a small arc in his direction.
âDangerous,â he quips, leaning back just enough to dodge your playful swat, though heâs far from deterred. âYouâre cute when youâre dangerous.â
Your lips twitch despite yourself, and you let out an exasperated sigh. âYouâre impossible,â you mutter, shaking your head as you try to focus on the task at hand.
He chuckles, a low, warm sound that sends shivers dancing down your spine. âAre you sure?â he teases, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder before leaning in to whisper, âBut you love it.â
âI do not,â you retort automatically, though your voice lacks any real heat.
âLiar,â he teases, and you can hear the grin in his voice even without looking.
You spin around, your cheeks warm as you glare at himâor at least try to. âI need to finish dinner. Either help or sit down.â
He raises his hands in mock surrender, though thereâs no hiding the amusement in his expression. âAlright, alright. What do you need me to do, boss?â
You hand him a carrot, your lips quirking into a small smile despite yourself. âPeel this. And donât distract me.â
âCanât make any promises,â he says with a wink, but he takes the carrot anyway, grabbing a peeler from the drawer next to you.
For a few minutes, thereâs an ease of peace as the two of you work side by side. He whistles softly under his breath as he peels glancing at you every now and then, and you chop in rhythm, the sounds of the kitchen filling the space. It feels so incredibly domestic and your thoughts start to drift to a future that you don't often dare to dream.
Is this what he would be like if we're married? you ask yourself. And deep inside, a part of you aches, and longs to find out.
But then, as you reach for the salt, his hand brushes yours, and you freeze, thoughts scrambling at his touch. Heâs quick to close the distance again, his lips grazing the corner of your mouth in a kiss so fleeting you almost think you imagined it.
Your breath catches, and you stare up at him, wide-eyed and utterly flustered.
He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and for a second, you canât think of anything to say.
âJude,â you manage finally, though your voice is embarrassingly breathless.
âHm?.â His fingers trace lazy patterns over the curve of your hip, sending little shivers through your skin. âYou look so good like this,â he murmurs softly, his lips brushing against your hair, making you shiver. âIn your little robe, making dinner for me. Fuck.â The last word comes out as a groan, and he buries his face into your neck.
The sensation of his breath against your skin sends a ripple through your body, leaving your muscles soft and weak. You lean into his embrace almost automatically, your palms flattening on the counter to steady yourself.
You canât help the little gasp that escapes you as he nips at the curve of your neck, the touch sending sparks coursing through you.
You try to catch your breath, your cheeks warming with heat as your thoughts scatter. His hand trails higher up to rest on your stomach, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, and you bite back a whimper. Heâs being too bold, and itâs thrilling and terrifying and so, so good.
âJude,â you stammer out finally. âWe havenât finished dinner yet.â
âIâll survive,â he murmurs huskily, his tongue flicking over the sensitive skin behind your ear.
And before you can muster up a protest, he spins you around to face him, his grip firm and demanding on your waist. His lips land against yours without warning, all heat and pressure, and your breath stutters out of you as you cling to him, unable to do anything but hold on.
The kiss turns hot and breathless so fast it leaves you reeling, his tongue sweeping into your mouth in bold strokes that leave you dizzy.
Your lips part in response, inviting him deeper, and he takes you up on the offer with a low groan of pleasure. He presses you into the counter, the kiss so urgent it feels like he needs it to survive. Your skin flushes, your body humming with a need youâve never known before.
Itâs too much. Itâs like a wildfire burning out of control, and Jude, Jude, Jude.
Youâre not even sure what it is that youâre craving so desperately, but you know it involves him.
And when he pulls away abruptly, it feels like being dunked into an ice bath.
Your head spins, and for a moment, you canât do anything but stare at him. Your breath is still ragged, your lips tingling, and the intensity of his gaze makes your heart stutter.
Itâs dark, unreadable, and you feel like prey caught in the sights of a predatorânot in a dangerous way, but in a way that makes you hyperaware of every inch of your body.
Your fingers tighten on the counter behind you, grounding yourself as the silence stretches between you. He looks like he wants to say something, but instead, he steps back completely, dragging a hand over his face in what feels like frustration. The absence of his warmth hits you immediately, leaving you feeling cold, exposed, and a little disoriented.
You lower your gaze, your cheeks burning, unable to meet his eyes. The apartment feels too quiet, too still, and when you finally dare to look up, heâs goneâretreating into the living room with an almost frustratingly casual stride.
Dinner is a blur after that.
You push food around your plate, barely tasting it, too caught up in the memory of his lips on yours, the way heâd kissed you like he couldnât get enough. It leaves you feeling equal parts flustered and thrilled, and you hate how obvious it must be. Jude, of course, notices. He keeps sneaking glances at you, his smirk growing every time he catches you looking away too quickly or fiddling with the edge of your napkin. But he doesn't say anything.
After dinner, he suggests a movie. You agree, mostly because you donât trust yourself to say no without stammering, and before you know it, youâre in your room. The lights are dim, the glow of the screen casting soft shadows across the walls. You sit beside him on the bed, your knees tucked up to your chest, trying not to focus on how close he is.
âRelax,â he teases, draping an arm over your shoulder. âI donât bite. Unless you want me to.â
You swat at him, your face heating up. âJude!â
He laughs, low and rich, and you feel the sound settle in your chest. âAlright, alright. Iâll behave.â
For a while, you focus on the movie. Or at least, you try to. Jude, apparently, has other plans. Somewhere halfway through the film, he shifts beside you, his arm tightening around your shoulders. You glance at him, confused, only to freeze when his lips brush against the side of your neck.
âJude,â you whisper, your voice trembling.
âHmm?â His voice is soft, playful, but thereâs a heat to it that makes your stomach flip.
âIâm trying to watch,â you manage, though your resolve wavers as his hand finds your waist, pulling you closer.
âAm I distracting you?â he murmurs, his lips ghosting over your skin.
You nod, your breath hitching, but it only seems to encourage him. His kisses grow more deliberate, his hand sliding up to cradle your face as he tilts your head toward him. The movie is completely forgotten as his lips capture yours, and this time, thereâs nothing hesitant about the way he kisses you.
This kiss is different than the one in the kitchen. This kiss is greedy and demanding, the type that makes you forget how to breathe. You melt into him without hesitation, your hand finding its way to his neck as he pulls you onto his lap.
He lets out a low groan that sends shivers down your spine, his hands coming to settle on your thighs. The kiss deepens, becoming something more, until the world narrows down to nothing but him. His touches are hot and firm, his mouth demanding in a way that leaves your head spinning.
Itâs overwhelming.
His touch, his scent, the low hum of his voice when he whispers your nameâitâs all too much and not enough at the same time. Youâre hyperaware of everything: the way his hands skim your sides, the way his thumb brushes against your jaw, the way your own fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt as if anchoring yourself to him.
When a soft sound escapes youâhalf gasp, half moanâhe freezes. His forehead presses against yours, his breathing heavy and uneven. Still lost in the haze of lust he's started to awaken in you, your lips chase his in a desperate pathetic attempt to keep him close, and you whine when he pulls back, the sound embarrassing you to no end.
âBaby,â he murmurs hoarsely, his voice the epitome of need and restraint. âBaby, you need to stop that.â
Itâs only when you look up into his eyes that you realize how affected he is. His pupils are blown, his cheeks flushed, his breath quickening as he holds your gaze. The intensity of his eyes makes your stomach clench, but the effect is different this timeâdifferent in a way that you canât quite place.
You stare at him for what feels like an eternity, searching for something, anything, to explain the strange flutter in your stomach.
His expression is unreadable, but as you sit there, chest heaving, thighs squirming restlessly on his lap, you feel something press into your inner thigh and Jude groans again, his head dipping to rest against your shoulder.
A little noise of surprise slips out of you, and before you can look down, he's flipping you over, pinning you to the bed with a groan.
âFuck, baby. You donât know how good you feel,â he whispers huskily, pulling back just long enough to let you breathe. The sight of himâso desperate, so needy, and so turned onâleaves you reeling.
Your heart is pounding, your pulse frantic in your ears as your body responds to his proximity. The feeling between your legs grows slick, the sensation almost strange enough to distract you from the weight of him above.
Jude must feel the way your body tenses because his voice drops, taking on a soothing quality that makes your muscles relax against him. âShhh, baby. Itâs alright.â He leans in, his lips trailing down the side of your neck to leave featherlight kisses there. âRelax.â
But the feeling of being pinned between him and the bed is overwhelming, and before he can kiss you again, you shift restlessly, trying to escape. He lets you get away, his hands following the curve of your sides as you sit up, his gaze roving over you hungrily.
Your cheeks heat, and your hands flutter over your stomach as if trying to find a way to hide yourself. âIââ you start, but then you stop, unsure of how to finish the sentence. âIâm sorry.â
The apology slips out of you automatically, though youâre not even entirely sure what youâre apologizing for.
Jude shakes his head, a wry smile tilting his lips upward. âDonât be sorry,â he murmurs, leaning in to kiss your forehead softly. âI justâŚâ He trails off, shaking his head again, though his smile turns into a smirk. âI want you so bad itâs driving me fucking crazy." His voice drops into a growl, his hands tightening on your thighs, and you gasp softly. "And it'sâfuck. It's turning me on so much." He leans down, pressing you against the mattress once again, and your whine is audible.
âJudeâŚâ you whisper, your voice quivering as your hands press against his chest in a weak attempt to create some distance. But your resolve falters when you meet his eyesâstormy and filled with a look that leaves you breathless. Hunger.
âYes, baby?,â he murmurs huskily.
But you donât get a chance to answer because his lips close over yours, pulling you into a kiss thatâs everything and nothing you imagined a kiss to be. Itâs urgent, hungry, and maddeningly sweet, and you cling to him without a second thought, your legs wrapping around his waist as if by instinct alone.
It feels like everything in the room blurs to nothing around the two of you, like the world has stopped turning.
The sensation between your legs turns wet, slick, and you can feel his hardness through the thin fabric of your shorts, the sensation both thrilling and overwhelming. He groans into the kiss, his hips rocking against you in a motion that leaves you gasping.
You feel so hot all of a suddenâlike your whole body is on fire. Your thoughts scatter as you cling to his shoulders, his name on your lips, and it's like he's pushing you higher and higher.
The kiss becomes messy, teeth clashing, lips biting, his hands pulling at your shirt as if trying to pull it off. Youâre completely lost to his touch, your body moving against his in a needy rhythm that feels like instinct alone.
But just when you think he might push you further, Jude pulls away abruptly with a sharp groan, his chest heaving as he buries his head against the curve of your shoulder. Youâre left with your arms wrapped around his neck, your body trembling as you struggle to catch your breath.
âFuck,â he mutters, the word hot against your skin. âFuck, fuck, fuck.â His body shudders, his hips rocking forward once, then twice, then he's yanking himself off you like you've just burned him.
You try to hold him closer, but he's too strong and it only seems to make him pull away harder.
âJude?â you ask, your voice trembling as your thoughts catch up. Youâre breathless, your body aching for something you donât even know how to ask for. ��Whatâs wrong?â
He doesnât answer. Instead, he just rolls away from you, his hands burying in his hair as he lets out a long groan of frustration.
Your cheeks warm, but thereâs something in his look, something that makes your chest flutter. Itâs dark, almost possessive, and the intensity steals your breath. You open your mouth to say somethingâanythingâto fill the silence, but before you can speak, Jude rolls to his feet, standing up with a swift motion that sends you sprawling on your back.
âIâmâŚâ He swallows again, âI have to go,â he says, his voice thick, rough. âIâll see you later, alright?â
You open your mouth, ready to ask why, but heâs already halfway out the door. You catch up just in time to watch him slam the front door closed behind him, the sound of his car roaring to life outside.
You stare at the closed door for a moment, blinking slowly as if youâre half-asleep. Your body still hums from his touches, your muscles soft, your heart pounding, and all you can think is: what did I do wrong?
*********
You donât see him again for a couple of days.
Itâs not unusual for Jude to be busy, his schedule crammed with training sessions, meetings, and endless obligations. But this feels different. Heâs never been too busy to send a good morning text, check in with a quick call, or find some excuse to see you, even if itâs just for an hour.
Now, though? Itâs radio silence.
The first day, you try to brush it off. You tell yourself that heâs probably exhausted and needs some space. By the second, the worry creeps in, uninvited but persistent. Did you do something wrong? Was it something you said? Something you didnât say?
By the time he texts you to come over on the third day, youâve practically convinced yourself heâs about to break things off. The idea leaves your chest feeling hollow.
When you step into his house, he greets you like always, flashing that charming grin that makes your stomach flip. But thereâs something off in his posture, the way his arms wrap around you just a little too loosely.
The two of you settle on the couch, a movie playing in the background. Jude is quiet, his arm draped casually over the back of the couch but not quite pulling you in. Normally, heâd be all over you by now, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your thigh, his lips brushing against your temple. Tonight, heâs⌠distant.
You bite your lip, stealing glances at him. He seems engrossed in the screen, but his jaw is set tightly, and his hand keeps flexing like heâs restless.
The movie plays on, and you feel like youâre sitting next to a stranger. Your heart pounds as you shift closer, testing the waters. His arm twitches but doesnât move to pull you closer.
Your voice comes out soft, hesitant. âJude?â
He hums, not looking at you.
âI missed you,â you admit, hoping it doesnât sound as needy as it feels.
His lips twitch into a small smile. âMissed you too.â His tone is distracted, his gaze not straying from the screen.
You frown, your brow furrowing. Somethingâs wrong. You can feel it in the way his body tenses every time you shift a little closer. His hand tightens, loosens, tightens again, but he still doesnât look at you.
âCan I ask you something?â you start, your voice tentative. When he doesnât respond, you clear your throat. âWhy didnât you call me this week? Youâre always so busy, and I know that, butââ You trail off, hoping heâll fill in the blanks.
For a moment, he doesnât respond. The silence between you stretches out uncomfortably, but then his gaze shifts, and you catch the way his eyes soften as they land on you. âItâs nothing.â He reaches for your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours.
You let him take your hand, but the touch feels fleeting, hollowâlike heâs holding back. Your chest tightens, the ache spreading to your throat as you try to steady your breathing. You donât want to push him, but the silence between you is unbearable.
âJude,â you whisper, squeezing his hand. âIt doesnât feel like nothing.â
He sighs, leaning his head back against the couch. âLook, Iâm just busy. Thatâs all.â
âYouâve always been busy,â you point out, feeling the sting of rejection. âI donât understand why you couldnât find time to call me this time.â Your voice cracks, and you look down at your lap to hide it.
He shifts then, his body twisting to face yours, his hand cupping your chin as he forces you to meet his eyes. His expression is soft, his brows furrowing as he studies your face. âHey,â he murmurs. âI'm sorry, okay? I didnât mean to upset you. Itâs not your fault. I just⌠I was busy with some things.â
âWhat things?â you press, frowning at the way he looks at you like youâre a puzzle he canât figure out. âWhat did I do? You donât have to sugarcoat it for me. I promise.â
Judeâs lips quirk, his smile almost wry. âIâm not trying to sugarcoat anything, baby.â He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. His voice drops, turning soft. âItâs just hard for me to be around you.â
âWhy?â you breathe out.
He hums, his nose nuzzling against your temple. âYou're so⌠fucking innocent, baby. And you have no idea how much that fucking turns me on. I just canâtâYou deserve everything, and I don't want to fuck this up.â He pulls back, his expression shifting to one of frustration. âIâve never felt this way about anyone before. I want to be good for you, baby.â His thumb brushes against your cheek as he whispers against your skin. âI wanna ruin you."
His words make heat pool low in your stomach, your thighs pressing together. His voice is hypnotic, low and husky, and it takes you a moment to respond. "How would you do that?â you whisper.
His pupils dilate, his lips parting. âOh fuck.â He swallows audibly, his gaze dropping to your mouth. Jude groans softly, his hand trailing up to cup the side of your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. "You donât wanna know, sweetheart," he says, his voice thick with restraint. "I shouldnât even be saying this."
You blink up at him, your lips parting to protest, but no sound comes out. His confession leaves you breathless, and your heart stumbles in your chest. "But I want to know," you whisper, feeling the heat of his gaze settle over you like fog.
His jaw tightens, and he leans in, his forehead pressing gently against yours. "Youâre playing with fire," he murmurs, his breath warm and tantalizing against your lips. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"
You don't moveâcan't move. It's like his words are pinning you in place with the weight of their meaning.
Jude chuckles softly, the sound low and almost reverent. "God, youâre so cute when youâre shy." His other hand moves to your waist, his fingers brushing against the fabric of your shirt. "I missed you like crazy these past few days, you know that? Couldnât think straight, couldnât focus. Just kept picturing you." He swallows thickly, his voice dropping to a low whisper. "Your lips are so fucking soft, and you taste like fucking honey."
His hand cups your face, his eyes burning into yours as he pulls back enough to meet your gaze. "Do you know how many times I've jacked off this week just thinking about your mouth? About what it would be like to fuck you?" He leans in closer, his voice turning harsh. "Do you even realize how fucking sexy you are? You make me lose my goddamn mind, baby."
You don't answer. You're not even sure if you can. His words have your head reeling, your breath catching in your throat. Heat pulses between your legs, making your thighs clench and unclench restlessly.
Jude groans, his face tucking into the crook of your neck as if seeking shelter. "Fuck. See what you fucking do to me? I can't even have a conversation around you, baby. I'm fucking obsessed." His fingers flex against your skin, his hot breath gusting over your neck. "Just being this close to you is driving me crazy."
Your breath hitches, a small noise escaping you as you wrap your arms around his shoulders instinctively. His words are making you feel⌠something. Your brain can't quite put a name to it, but it's making you feel soft and needy and⌠wet.
Jude seems to notice because he freezes, his nose dipping to the side of your neck, breathing you in deeply. "Are you wet, baby?" he murmurs, the question sending a flush up your cheeks. His voice is low, dark, and it does nothing to help the ache between your legs.
You squirm against him, pressing your thighs together in an attempt to alleviate the sensation. His hand cups your ass, pulling your body flush against his as he growls low against your neck.
"Answer me," he grunts, his hips pressing forward with a motion that makes you gasp.
Your head swims as if from a lack of oxygen, but you manage to whisper, "Y-yes."
Jude's whole body shudders against you , his head dropping to the crook of your shoulder as he groans again. "Fuck, sweetheart." His voice is hot against your skin, the words a mix of frustration and desire. "What did I tell you?" he murmurs almost absently. "About making me lose my fucking mind?"
The tension between you seems to grow thicker with every second that passes, and before you know it, you're being pulled onto his lap, his mouth crashing over yours in a desperate kiss. You cling to him, letting him devour you completely, and it feels like nothing else in the world matters but this.
Except he pulls away again just as quickly, his hands coming up to grip your shoulders and hold you at arm's length. You stare at him, confused, your cheeks flushed, your breath coming out in quick pants.
"Jude," you breathe out, reaching for him.
But he shakes his head, his jaw flexing with restraint as he holds you still. "No, baby. If I touch you again right now, I donât think I'll be able to stop myself." His voice dips, growing rougher. "You're not ready for that." He leans in to nuzzle your nose, his words coming out as a soft apology against your skin. "You deserve better than me losing control like this."
You frown at his words, feeling them hit somewhere deep in your chest, but before you can find a way to respond, he pulls away and stands up. "Wait!" Your hand shoots out and drags him back to the sofa with a strength that surprises both of you.
"IâI want it. I want you to⌠have me." The words come out before you can take them back, but instead of being met with rejection, Judeâs eyes darken, his pupils expanding to eat up the color of his eyes. His grip tightens on your hand, and you hear him swallow thickly.
"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice husky and soft. "Baby, if you let me touch you like that, I wonât be able to hold back." He leans forward as if drawn by gravity, his lips grazing against yours as he murmurs against your mouth. "You want that?"
The question makes your cheeks flush, the sensation traveling down to pulse between your legs. Your stomach clenches, and you find yourself nodding, your lips brushing against his with the motion.
His soft groan vibrates through your entire body. His hand cups the side of your face with a gentleness that contradicts the heat in his eyes. "Baby," he whispers, his lips ghosting over yours. He leans back then, his expression softening, a hint of amusement tilting the corner of his lips upward. "You sure? Youâre not just saying that because you think itâs what I want to hear?"
You shake your head , your breath hitching when his thumb trails over your bottom lip. "I trust you." The words slip out of you on a whisper, but they seem to mean something to him because he lets out a soft exhale.
âFuck,â he groans, dropping his forehead against yours. âIf you donât stop being so fucking sweet, baby, Iâm gonna fuck you on this couch, and neither of us will be ready for that.â He lets out an unsteady laugh, his words making heat spread through your body. "You donât know what youâre getting yourself into." He tilts his head, his eyes narrowing, a small smirk twisting his lips. "But if you still want me to teach you after tonight, then I promise you that Iâll be the one to ruin you like you want." With that, he leans in and kisses you gently, the motion soft and sweet.
When he pulls back, his voice drops to a growl. âI can't wait to ruin you.â His words are so low, so full of warning that you wonder what he plans to do to you. The idea makes your pulse quicken, your stomach fluttering.
Jude leans in to press another kiss to your lips, his tongue darting out to lick at the seam of your mouth. âIâll show you just how good it can be,â he whispers against your mouth, and then he pulls away with a soft bite to your bottom lip, leaving you breathless and wanting so much more.
He gives you another kiss that promises to corrupt, then leaves you on the couch feeling like your whole world has been flipped on its head. You wonder what the next few weeks will be like now.
********
"I want to learn how to please Jude." Is not what Charlie expects to hear from you.
You who are painfully shy and would rather hide under the covers than have a conversation about this sort of thing. So you imagine that your words catch her off guard when you approach her in your room, both of you lying on the bed side by side.
Charlie looks at you with a mixture of shock and amusement. "Well shit, girl. What brought that on?" She reaches over and puts a hand on your arm in comfort. "What happened?"
You fidget nervously. "It's just⌠I want to please him, and I don't know how. We've been dating for a while now, and I feel like it's time to try something new." You lower your eyes at the last part, your cheeks burning like crazy. "We've been together for so long and we still haven't done anything." You take a shaky breath. "I don't want him to get tired of me."
Charlie stares at you for a long moment, then she cracks out laughing. "Girl, you're so silly."
"What?" Your voice comes out pouty.
"Oh, come on." She chuckles. "You're being silly. There's no way in hell that Jude could be upset with you." She gives you a playful push, "Y/N, that guy is madly in love with you. He looks at you like he's obsessed. There's no chance he's getting tired of you."
You smile softly at her words, hope blooming in your chest at her confidence. "Yeah?" you ask, your tone breathless.
"Yeah." Charlie's expression softens, her voice turning gentle. "He looks at you the same way you do him. So please, stop worrying about it and just let him make the first move. Don't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to."
You nod, your brows furrowing as you look away. "That's the thing though. I do want to." Your voice drops to a whisper. "But I don't know what I'm doing."
Charlie looks at you for a second, then nods. "Ok. So what do you want to do?" She asks, her tone soft.
You look up at her, "What do guys like?" You ask, the question slipping out before you can stop it. You bite your lip and look away, feeling your cheeks burn.
Charlie laughs softly, the sound almost like a purr, "Ooo, Y/NNNN. Are you trying to turn me on?" She jokes. You know she's kidding because she's making that face she always makes right after telling a really funny joke.
"Charlie!" You push her with a giggle.
"What?" She pushes you back with a grin, "Come on, Y/N. If you're going to be a big girl and have sex, you should be able to talk about it."
You pout at her. "That's not fair. I ask you for help, and you're teasing me."
She chuckles and rolls her eyes with a smile, "Ok, ok. What do you wanna know?"
"Everything." You say, your face heating up even more.
"Everything?" Charlie quirks a brow, propping herself up on one elbow to get a better look at you. "Girl, that's a tall order. Are we talking the birds and the bees 'everything' or just the Jude-specific 'everything'?"
You bury your face in your hands, groaning. "This is so embarrassing."
Charlie laughs, a genuine, warm sound that makes you peek at her through your fingers. "Y/N, relax. Seriously. This is normal stuff. And youâre with Jude Bellingham, of all people. Do you have any idea how hungry he is? That man eye fucks you everytime you're in the room."
You groan again, rolling onto your stomach and burying your face in the pillow. "Stop! You're making it worse."
Charlie snorts, patting your back. "Okay, okay, Iâll stop. Letâs get serious for a sec. First of all, thereâs no ârightâ way to do anything. Everyoneâs different. But if you really want to know what Jude likes, justâŚask him. You already know him better than anyone else."
You lift your head slightly, just enough to look at her. "But what if I mess up?"
Charlie tilts her head, giving you a soft smile. "Y/N, you canât mess up with someone who loves you. Judeâs not going to care if you donât know everything. Heâs crazy about youâtrust me, Iâve seen it. The guy practically glows when youâre in the room. Just talk to him, be yourself, and let things happen naturally."
You chew on your bottom lip, processing her words. "I guess that makes sense. But what ifâ"
Youâre interrupted by the familiar sound of your phone buzzing on the nightstand. Charlie smirks knowingly. "Bet you ten bucks itâs him."
You reach for your phone, and sure enough, Judeâs name lights up the screen. Your heart does a little flip, and Charlie cackles at the way your face immediately softens.
"Go on," she says, waving her hand. "Answer it. Lover boyâs probably wondering why youâve been ignoring him all evening."
You hesitate for a moment before swiping to answer. "Hey," you say softly, your voice a little shaky.
"Hey, love." Judeâs deep, smooth voice comes through the line, instantly putting you at ease. "Whatâre you up to?"
"Just hanging out with Charlie," you reply, glancing at your friend, whoâs grinning like a Cheshire cat. You roll your eyes at her. "What about you?"
"Thinking about you," he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. "Missed you today."
Your cheeks flush, and Charlie makes a gagging motion, though her grin only widens. "I⌠I missed you too," you admit shyly, your fingers twisting in the hem of your sweater.
"Yeah?" Judeâs tone is playful, but thereâs an edge of sincerity that makes your heart flutter. "Whatâre you doing after Charlie goes? Can I come see you?"
Your stomach flips, and you glance at Charlie, whoâs mouthing Say yes! with an exaggerated expression. "Um, yeah," you say, trying to sound casual despite the way your voice wobbles. "If you want to."
"Of course I want to," he says, chuckling softly. "Iâll be over in a bit, yeah?"
"Okay," you whisper, unable to keep the smile out of your voice.
"See you soon, love."
You hang up and immediately bury your face in the pillow again, earning a loud laugh from Charlie. "Oh my God, youâre hopeless," she teases, nudging you with her foot. "Youâre like a lovesick puppy. Itâs adorable."
"Shut up," you mumble, though youâre smiling. You peek at her as you sit up. "Thanks, though. You were really helpful."
She snorts. "Clearly. But seriously, just relax. Be yourself. I promise heâll love it. And if all else fails just give him a blowjob" She ducks just in time to miss the pillow you chuck her way. "Iâve gotta go. My rideâs coming in a minute." She climbs off the bed and heads over to the dresser to grab her phone. "I think I left my keys downstairs. Tell Jude I said hi."
"Will do," you say, smiling softly.
She waves before heading out the door and leaving you alone. You sink back into the covers, trying not to let your nerves get the best of you.
**********
A half hour later, youâre pacing in front of the living room door, your nerves bubbling up with every step. You keep glancing at the clock, willing the minutes to tick faster and slower all at once.
Your hands feel clammy, and youâre acutely aware of every tiny sound in the apartmentâthe hum of the refrigerator, the distant chatter of your upstairs neighbors, the soft patter of your socked feet against the floor. Youâve checked your reflection in the hallway mirror at least five times, brushing nonexistent lint from your sweater.
When you finally hear the familiar, rhythmic knock that signals Judeâs arrival, your heart skips a beat. You nearly trip over your own feet as you hurry to the door, pulling it open so quickly that Jude looks startled for a split second before his expression melts into that devastatingly familiar grinâthe one that never fails to make your stomach flip.
"Thereâs my girl," he greets warmly, his voice a velvety blend of affection and amusement. Before you can even stammer out a hello, he steps forward, slipping one arm around your waist and pulling you into him. His lips find yours in a heartbeat, soft and warm, and you let out a small, involuntary sigh as his other hand settles on the back of your neck.
"Hi," you manage to mumble against his lips, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jude chuckles, the sound rumbling low in his chest as he pulls back just enough to meet your gaze. "Hello to you too," he murmurs, his thumb brushing an absentminded circle against your hip. His brown eyes are locked on yours, teasing. "You seem a little eager tonight. Miss me, baby?"
The heat rushes to your cheeks in an instant, and you lower your gaze, biting your lip to suppress the shy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "Maybe," you mumble, your voice so soft itâs almost lost in the space between you.
Judeâs grin widens, and he cups your face with one hand, his thumb brushing gently over the apple of your cheek. "Maybe?" he echoes, pretending to be wounded. "Iâve been thinking about you all day, and I get a maybe?" His tone is playful, but his eyes are so full of adoration that it makes your chest ache in the best way.
You fidget under his gaze, your hands instinctively gripping the hem of your sweater. "Of course I missed you," you admit shyly, barely managing to look up at him.
"Thatâs more like it," he says softly, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. His lips linger there for a moment, and when he pulls back, thereâs a tenderness in his expression that makes your heart flutter. "Missed you too, you know. More than I probably should admit."
Your stomach flips at his words, and you let out a breathless laugh, not quite sure how to respond. Jude doesnât seem to mind your silence; he just brushes another kiss to the tip of your nose before letting his hand slide from your face to your hand, lacing your fingers together.
"So," he starts, his voice dropping into a conspiratorial tone, "is Charlie still here, or do we have the place to ourselves?"
You shake your head, feeling your cheeks warm again at the implication. "She left about an hour ago," you reply, your voice still soft.
Jude grins. "Perfect. Letâs do something scandalous then," he teases, his voice dripping with faux mischief.
You blink up at him, wide-eyed. "Scandalous?" Is this it?
"Yep," he says with a wink. "LikeâŚwatching a movie weâve already seen twenty times while cuddling on the couch. Absolutely outrageous, right?" You try not to deflate at his words and he must've noticed because he smirks down at you.
You let out a soft force chuckle, not seeing the teasing grin on his face. "Yeah, sure."
"Great!" Jude quips, tugging you toward the living room. "Câmon, letâs pick something good."
By "good," you know he means your favorite DVD, the one youâve insisted on watching so many times that youâre sure he knows half the lines by heart. Sure enough, you makes a beeline for the small shelf in your room, plucking the case from its spot with a triumphant flourish.
"We have to find something new, you know that right?" he teases as you holds it up for him to see. Like he doesn't love it just as much as you. Maybe more. Not that he'll ever admit that to you.
"And yet you keep coming back," you counter quietly, feeling braver than usual.
Judeâs grin softens into something sweeter as he crosses the room to stand in front of you. "Because youâre worth it," he says simply, his voice so sincere it makes your chest tighten. He leans in, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before taking your hand again and leading you to your bed. "Now letâs go watch our favorite movie while cuddled in bed like good little nerds."
You follow him, feeling like youâre floating.
The movieâs been playing for about twenty minutes when you finally start to relax, tucked under Judeâs arm with a cozy blanket draped over both of you. The familiar dialogue flows easily in the background, and you can feel the steady rise and fall of Judeâs chest against your side. You're lulled into a state of peace, your head resting against his shoulder, your leg draped over his as you settle in.
It's when the movie gets to the good part that you hear (feel) Jude's stomach growl from under your ear, the low sound vibrating up his chest.
"Shit," he mutters with a quiet laugh, rubbing a hand absently over his stomach. "Iâm fucking starving."
You lift your head from his shoulder to peer at his face. âYou want me to make you something?â you ask, even though you don't feel like cooking, your hand coming up to copy his gesture.
His eyes flick down to yours, "Yeah," he says slowly, his voice low and soft. He lifts a hand, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear with a touch so gentle you barely feel it. His gaze follows the motion, his eyes darkening. "Thatâd be great, baby."
Your pulse quickens at the softness of his tone, but you nod and slip out of his arms, the movement sending the blanket tumbling to the bed. You slip out of the room, feeling his eyes on your back like a caress.
When you return with two bowls of popcorn in hand and a couple bags of snacks, Jude looks up from the spot he's settled in on the couch, his eyes sliding to yours for a heartbeat before dropping down to the food.
âThank God,â he murmurs, taking one of the bowls from your hands with a grin. You try not to notice the way he brushes his fingers against yours as you pass him the bowl, but the touch makes your stomach flip anyway.
You sink back down beside him on the bed and take a seat. His leg presses up against yours, warm through the fabric of your jeans, and you feel yourself melting into him automatically, his warmth and scent pulling you in.
Jude lifts a handful of popcorn to his mouth, chewing as he settles his arm around your shoulder, the motion drawing you in even closer, until you're practically nestled against his side. His other hand lands on your thigh, his thumb brushing a slow pattern against your leg as he watches the movie. The motion sends a shiver up your spine, and you find your eyes dropping to the sight of his large hand against your leg, his fingertips lightly tracing the soft skin.
The feeling of his hand on you, the heat of his body against yours, is so good that you forget everything else around youâhis soft, contented munching, the gentle way he tugs you in closer every now and then, the way you can feel his breath ghosting along the back of your neck and sending shivers up your spine.
You forget about it all until you feel his eyes on you, and you glance up to meet his gaze.
Jude is staring at you, his eyes half-lidded and his face tilted toward you. His expression is soft, his gaze almost⌠hungry. His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, his teeth catching it for just a heartbeat before he lets it slide free. You watch the whole thing in rapt fascination, your cheeks flushing when his gaze flicks down to yours and catches you staring.
"See something you like?" he asks with a low smirk, his voice soft and playful.
You feeling your skin heat up, feeling your pulse quicken and your stomach clench. You lower your eyes, biting your bottom lip to try and contain the frown that's threatening to break across your face.
"Y/N." His voice drops even lower, his hand tightening on your leg as you feel him lean in. His warm breath feathers along the shell of your ear, making you shiver and squirm. "Look at me."
Your eyes flick up to meet his, and his gaze is so warm that you can't look away. You're caught in his stare, the heat building between you like a flame.
"You're really fucking cute when you're shy," he murmurs softly, his grin widening as he reaches up to brush his thumb against the apple of your cheek, his touch feather-light. His eyes follow the motion, and his lips part as he takes a shallow breath, his body seeming to lean in on its own.
Your breath catches in your throat, and you forget to breathe for just a heartbeat as he presses his lips to yours, the kiss light and quick. When he pulls back, he doesn't go far, his face still hovering just a breath away.
"What?" you whisper, your pulse quickening at the way his eyes seem to darken as they drop down to look at your lips.
He lets out a soft, deep chuckle that vibrates through his chest. "What do you think?" His gaze is full of heat as he leans in again, the kiss softer this time, his lips barely brushing over yours. The motion makes you melt into him, your body seeming to go pliant under his touch. "You're too fucking sweet."
Your stomach flips at the way he says that, your hand coming up automatically to cup his neck. You draw him in, deepening the kiss with a soft sound, and he makes a pleased noise against your lips as he opens for you, letting you in.
The kiss turns soft and gentle, a sweet press of lips that makes you feel all fluttery inside, and you sink into it like a fish to water, losing yourself in the heat between you.
When Jude pulls back this time, it's with a groan, his brow furrowing as he tugs away, his breathing a little ragged. "We gotta stop."
You frown, feeling the sudden loss of him like a cold shower. You hesitate for a second, then reach out to cup his face with your palm, my thumb brushing over the sharp curve of his cheekbone.
"Judeâ" you start softly, and he lets out another soft groan, sinking into your touch as he closes his eyes for a moment.
"Hm?" he hums against your palm, his tone low and tortured.
"I want you," you whisper, the word slipping out before you can stop it.
His eyes fly open at your words, his gaze snapping back to yours, and for just a heartbeat, he looks almost pained. Then he lets out a harsh breath and drops his head to yours, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"Iâfuck," he mutters, his voice muffled against your skin, and you can feel his body vibrating with the tension of his emotion. His hand cups the back of your skull, pulling you in closer. "I need a minute."
Your brows furrow at his words. What's wrong? you want to ask, but then Jude lets out a soft groan and bites you lightly on the neck, and all thoughts fly out of your mind.
His lips press to your skin with a soft, wet sound, the suction making your stomach flip. When he pulls back to look up at you, his mouth is swollen, his eyes heavy-lidded. He stares at you for a long moment, his gaze roaming down over your features before meeting yours again.
"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice almost a growl.
You nod, swallowing hard, your heart beating in your throat. I've never been more sure of anything.
Jude groans softly and kisses you again, the motion firm and deep as he pushes you backward until you're lying flat on the bed, his body covering yours. "How far do you want to go?" He mutters against your mouth, his voice deep and husky, his tongue darting out to trace your lips.
You hesitate for a heartbeat, unsure of how to answer. "Just⌠more than this?" you mumble softly, your hand tracing up his arm and coming to rest on his chest.
His other hand slides down to your waist, his fingers curling around your hip as he shifts, pressing you back into the bed. The weight of him, the heat of his body against yours, is overwhelming in the best way, and you canât help the soft sound that escapes you.
"God, youâre perfect," he mutters. His lips trail down to your jaw, then your neck, leaving a trail of soft, heated kisses that make your skin tingle. "Tell me if Iâm going too far, okay? Promise me."
You nod wordlessly, unable to speak around the pulse pounding in your throat.
Jude trails his lips along your collarbone, nipping gently at the skin before he lifts his head and catches your eyes with a heated look. "If it feels good," he starts slowly, his gaze locked on yours as his hand shifts up to cup your face, "tell me."
His other hand drops to your waist again, his palm skimming along your hip before sliding up underneath your shirt to land on the bare skin of your stomach. You gasp at the feeling of his warm palm against your skin, your breath catching as his fingers splay out over your belly, his touch sending a shiver up your spine.
"You like that, baby?" His eyes are dark with arousal as he stares down at you, his fingers sliding up to trace over the underside of your breast through your bra. The touch sends a shock straight through your body, your eyes fluttering closed. "Tell me, Y/N," he urges softly.
You gasp softly, letting out a wordless sound as you arch under his touch, your hands coming up to cling to his shoulders. You feel like you're melting into him, like your body is going limp as you let out another soft sound. "Yes."
Jude groans and presses a kiss to your neck, his mouth moving against your skin as he speaks. "Good girl." His hand moves up again, his fingers tracing up the bare skin of your side before his palm cups your breast, his thumb brushing lightly over your nipple.
You gasp again, your breath catching in your throat as you squirm under his touch. He doesn't stop, though; his fingers slip under the edge of your bra cup to brush over your nipple with a feather-light touch.
"God," he mutters hoarsely against your skin, his palm moving in a slow circle over your breast. "You have no idea how fucking good that feels."
His other hand shifts down to settle on your thigh, just above the knee, and you feel a shiver run through you. Your pulse is racing in your ears, the touch of him setting your whole body aflame.
You squirm under him, a soft, high-pitched moan slipping from between your lips, and Judeâs groan is immediate and deep. He shifts to settle his leg between your thighs, and you gasp again at the feeling of him against you. You can feel the hard length of him through his jeans, and the sensation sends another shiver up your spine.
"Fuck, Y/N," he rasps against your neck, his breath hot against your skin. His fingers trail down your ribs to your stomach, his palm landing flat against your belly with a soft press. "Youâre gonna kill me."
The feeling of his hands on you is too much, and you squirm again, arching under his touch as you let out a high, breathless sound. Jude curses softly, shifting his leg against your center, and you feel another rush of wetness slip from you. His palm moves down to settle between your legs, his hand covering your mound with a warm press that makes you gasp.
"Tell me," he rasps, his voice full of emotion as he kisses your neck again. "Does this feel good?"
You canât speak; all you can manage is a wordless nod, your hips arching up against his hand. Jude groans again, his breath feathering along your neck, his lips brushing a trail down to the neckline of your shirt.
He's still kissing you when he slides his hand down the waistband of your pants, his fingers trailing over the wet cotton of your panties before slipping under the edge to press against your bare skin. You feel a rush of pleasure at the touch, your whole body tensing, and Jude curses again softly as his palm presses against you, the weight of him making you feel warm and safe.
"Is this okay?" he asks raggedly, his fingers moving up to stroke against your clit through your panties.
The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure through you, and you let out a soft gasp as your hips shift against his palm. You nod wordlessly, your hands shifting up to clutch at his shoulders, and Jude groans again at the sensation of you against him.
"I need words baby," he rasps, his finger slipping under the cotton to brush against your clit with a slow press.
You let out another high-pitched sound, squirming under his hand as his finger shifts to rub against you in slow circles. His palm presses against your mound with a gentle weight, the pressure building between your legs and making your breath come in short, shallow gasps.
"JudeâŚplease," you gasp, your hips shifting against his hand again.
"Please what?" He nuzzles your neck again, his lips feathering a trail along the skin. His finger doesn't stop moving, though, the feeling sending a rush of warmth through you. "Tell me what you need."
Your cheeks flush at his words, and you swallow hard. "JudeâŚ" you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Come on," he rasps gently against your ear. "Tell me."
You squirm again, trying to get away from the feeling of his finger on your clit and the sudden wave of embarrassment that crashes over you. Jude doesnât let you escape, though; his other arm tightens around your waist as his finger presses down harder against your clit, making the pleasure build between your legs.
"Yes!," you moan again, your voice high and breathless, your legs squirming against his hips. "More! P-please."
He groans loudly against your neck, his teeth catching at the skin in a sharp nip that makes you cry out. "God, fuck. Youâre so good for me," he mutters in a hoarse rasp. Then he's pulling away. "Take off your pants for me baby. I wanna see you."
You nod, your hands dropping to your waist as you shove the fabric down. Youâre not even fully out of them when Jude slides in the bed behind you. His arms come up around your waist, drawing you back against him, and his mouth drops to nuzzle against the back of your neck, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down your spine.
He pulls you flush against him, his hips fitting against your ass in a way that makes you realize just how turned on he is. You let out another soft gasp, squirming back against him as you feel the length of his cock pressing between your ass cheeks.
Jude groans loudly again, his hands coming up to grip your hips as he pulls you more firmly against him. "Fuck, you feel so good," he rumbles, his mouth nuzzling a trail up the back of your neck. He kisses your skin softly, the warm press of his lips sending another shiver through you.
His hands move down to slip under the edge of your underwear, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your thigh. You feel your stomach clench, the anticipation building inside you as his hand skims up to press between your legs. His fingers slide against your wet pussy, his palm cupping you firmly with a possessive press that makes your whole body tremble.
"Fuck," he growls hoarsely again, his lips trailing down to press a kiss to the back of your shoulder. "You're so wet for me." His fingers shift to press your folds through the fabric, stroking lightly against your clit as the wet slick sound of your arousal fills the air. "Do you like it when I touch you?"
You gasp at his words, feeling a hot blush rise up your neck. "Y-yesâŚ" you gasp out.
He groans again, "You're really fucking perfect for me, you know that?" he rasps. "Take these off for me, baby."
You swallow hard, your hands lifting to your sides as you move to shimmy out of your panties, quickly closing your legs as soon as they're off. You hear Judeâs groan against your hair a moment before you feel his palm press down to your thigh.
"You getting shy on me, princess? Hm?" His voice is teasing as he nudges your legs apart again, his fingers trailing down over your skin as he pulls them further and further apart. You gasp softly as you feel your pussy lips spread with the movement, your clit throbbing. "Open up for me."
Your blush deepens, and you hesitate for a moment, unsure of what to do, but Judeâs warm breath on your neck is making you melt and your thigh part for him.
"Good girl," he praises softly. "Now let me see what's mine." His hand trails down to settle between your spread legs, his palm cupping your pussy firmly with a warm weight. Your eyes roll back at the sensation. "Look how wet you are," he groans. "You're fucking dripping for me, baby."
His hand shifts, his fingers dipping down to press against your folds, and the feeling is so good it makes you shiver. You gasp again, feeling another rush of liquid heat slip from you as his fingers spread your lips apart. You feel the cool air brush against your wet skin, and you blush hotly again at the sound of your own wetness filling the air.
"Look at that pretty pussy," Jude rasps, his voice deep and rough as he looks down over your shoulder at your wet folds "Fucking gorgeous."
His fingers shift to press against you again, and he lets out a pleased sound as he feels your wetness, his voice dropping to a deep whisper. "You love it, don't you?" he rumbles. "I can tell by the way you soak my fingers." He nuzzles his face into the back of your neck again, his breath making your skin prickle.
"Yes," you moan softly, your eyes drifting closed at the pleasure of his fingers against you.
Jude groans in response, his hand tightening around your hip as his fingers stroke against you faster. The feeling is so good that you canât hold back your high-pitched sounds.
"Want me to make you cum, sweetheart?" he rasps against the skin of your neck, his fingers finding your clit with a sure press. The pleasure is so intense that you cry out at the sensation, your legs quivering as his thumb begins to rub against you with slow circles.
"Yeah?" Jude whispers in your ear, his voice low and husky. "Give it to me, baby." His voice is like liquid honey against your skin as his fingers shift, two of them sliding up to circle your clit in tight motions, the pad of his thumb rubbing against you in a steady, soft press.
You're so wet that you can hear the sloppy sound of him touching you, his palm cupped around your mound to shield it from the cool air of the room. You can tell he likes it, too; his breath is hot against your neck, and he groans roughly at the feeling of you in his hand.
The contrast between the heat of his palm and the chill of the air makes you shiver, but itâs nothing compared to the way his fingers are lazily stroking through your slickness, his touch teasing, reverent.
âGod,â Jude groans, the sound raw, like heâs barely keeping himself together. âYou hear that, sweetheart?â His voice is heavy with something dark and sweet, something that makes your stomach flip. âSo fucking wet for me.â
You let out a tiny whimper, embarrassed but unable to deny how much you like the way heâs touching you, the way heâs looking at youâlike youâre the only thing in the world that matters. You try to close your thighs instinctively, but he doesnât let you, his hand pressing you open again with a quiet chuckle.
âNo, no, donât get shy on me now,â he murmurs, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, sending a fresh wave of heat through your body. âLet me make you feel good, baby. Let me take care of you.â
You donât trust yourself to speak, so you just nod, your face burning, and he exhales a quiet curse before pressing a kiss to the side of your neck.
âCan I stick a finger in, sweetheart?â he asks, his voice low and smooth, like honey, like he already knows the answer. He presses the tip of his middle finger against your entrance, just barely there, waiting, teasing.
You gasp at the sensation, your hips arching against his hand without thinking, seeking more. You donât even realize how eager you are until you hear the sharp breath he takes in, feel the way his other arm tightens around your waist, holding you flush against him.
âThatâs a yes?â Jude teases, but his voice is strained, like heâs holding himself back.
You nod, swallowing thickly, and then his finger presses inside you, sinking in slowly, inch by inch, stretching you open in the most delicious way. Your breath stutters, a soft, helpless sound escaping you as your body adjusts to the intrusion, and Jude groans in response, his face pressing against your hair.
âFuck,â he mutters, his voice rough, almost pained. âYouâre so tight, baby.â
You whimper, overwhelmed, your hands clutching the sheets beneath you as he strokes his finger in and out, curling it slightly with each movement. The sensation is foreign but intoxicating, sending little sparks of pleasure through your body with every slow, deliberate thrust.
His lips find your shoulder, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses against your skin as he moves, his breath fanning over you in hot, uneven bursts. âLittle virgin pussy just for me,â he whispers against your skin, and the words send a rush of something heady and desperate straight to your core.
Your body clenches around him involuntarily, and he groans at the feeling, his whole body shuddering behind you. âFuck, baby. Do that again.â
You donât mean to, but the way heâs touching you, the way his palm is dragging against your clit every time his fingers move, itâs too much. Your body reacts on instinct, tightening around him again, and he curses under his breath, his teeth sinking lightly into your shoulder as if he needs something to ground himself.
âJude,â you whimper, unsure of what youâre asking for, only knowing that you need more.
âI got you, sweetheart,â he murmurs, and then heâs slipping another finger inside you, filling you even more, stretching you in a way that feels impossibly good. His other hand slides under your shirt, palms up your stomach until he finds your breast, cupping it gently, his thumb rubbing over your sensitive nipple. âYouâre taking me so well,â he praises, voice thick with adoration.
The combination of it allâthe heat of his body, the skill of his fingers, the sweetness in his voiceâis overwhelming, and you can feel something building, coiling tight in the pit of your stomach, desperate to break free.
He can tell. Of course, he can.
âThatâs it, sweetheart,â Jude murmurs against your skin, his fingers moving faster, his palm pressing just the right way against your clit. âYouâre close, arenât you? Gonna come for me?â
You nod frantically, your breath coming in short, uneven gasps.
âGood girl,â he breathes, his voice dripping with pride, and the praise sends you spiraling.
The pleasure crashes over you like a tidal wave, your whole body trembling as your release washes through you.
"Oh, God!" You cry out, Judeâs name falling from your lips in a breathless moan, and he groans, holding you tightly as he works you through it, his fingers never stopping, drawing it out until youâre completely spent, boneless in his arms.
You donât realize how loud you were until the room falls into a thick silence, the only sound left is your heavy breathing and the faint rustle of the sheets.
Jude presses a slow, lingering kiss to the back of your head, his fingers slipping out of you with a wet pop, and you whimper at the emptiness, the oversensitivity. He shushes you gently, soothing you with soft touches, sweet kisses.
âYou did so good, baby,â he murmurs, nuzzling against your hair. âSo fucking perfect for me.â
Your heart is still pounding in your chest, your body still tingling, but all you can focus on is the warmth of him, the steady rise and fall of his breath against your back.
For the first time in your life, you feel like youâre seeing color.
"That good, huh?," Jude murmurs as he pulls his fingers from between your legs, sliding them up to cup your pussy possessively with a slow rub. Then he brings the fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean with a quiet groan of pleasure as you watch, your breath catching in your throat at the sight. His eyes locks on yours, the heat between you palpable as you gasp.
You nod, your cheeks flushing as he smirks, his tongue darting out to lick his palm.
"Tastes so fucking good too," he mutters, his voice dark with emotion. He drops his head to press a kiss to your neck, your collarbone, his hands slipping up to grip your shoulders firmly.
It's like a switch had been flipped inside youâAnd all you know is that you never want to go without feeling that again.
You're still breathing fast, your heart still pounding in your ears, "God damn, baby. You're gonna be the end of me."
***********
Pleasure has had a whole new meaning for you since that night.
And Jude is relentless. Ever the indulger.
There are moments when it feels like he can't keep his hands off of you at all. It's like he's gone feral.
Like the other day when you were cooking dinner, and you were wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top that barely covered your ass.
You were leaning over to stir the pot of pasta, completely focused on your task, until you felt Judeâs arms curl around your waist, pulling you back against him. His chest was warm, solid, and you felt the slow rise and fall of his breathing against your back before his hands slid up to cup your breasts, squeezing them roughly with a low groan.
âYouâre tryinâ to kill me, arenât you?â he murmured against your neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your skin. âWalkinâ around like this, actinâ like I wonât do anything about it.â
Your breath hitched as he rolled his hips against your ass, making you gasp. âJ-Jude, Iâm cooking.â
âMhm.â He hummed lazily, fingers toying with your nipples through the thin fabric of your top. âAnd Iâm hungry for something else.â
That ended with him eating you out for the first time, right there on the kitchen counter. An experience unlike any other. The way his tongue moved against you, how his fingers rubbed over your clit as he lapped at youâfuck. Just thinking about it makes your cheeks flush and your panties wet.
Then there was the time you fell asleep in his lap while watching a movie at his place.
You woke up to his hands between your legs. He wasnât even doing anything, just keeping his hand there, warm and possessive. When you stirred and gave him a sleepy, questioning look, he just smirked down at you, dimples flashing.
âSâ mine,â he said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if you belonged to him in every possible way.
And, god, the way he looks at you sometimes. Like heâs starving. Like heâs memorizing every inch of you. Like heâs still in disbelief that youâre his.
Right now you're at his apartment getting ready for your picnic date. You've decided to spend the summer with him since going home is out of the question for you this year. You're super excited to go on this picnic. Itâs a surprise, so you have no idea where youâre going. But, from the way Jude looks, youâre pretty sure it's going to be great. He's practically bouncing in excitement.
Judeâs apartment smells like sandalwood and something faintly citrusy, a scent that clings to his skin, to the soft cotton of his hoodie, to the air around you. Youâre standing in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom, smoothing out the fabric of your sundress, your heart fluttering with the kind of nervous excitement that makes your fingers tremble just a little.
Behind you, Jude is practically bouncing on his heels, barely containing his excitement. Itâs endearing, the way he can hardly stay still, like a golden retriever about to go on a walk.
âYou almost ready, sweetheart?â he asks, his voice warm, teasing.
You catch his gaze in the mirrorâheâs watching you with an expression that makes your stomach tighten, makes heat rise to your cheeks. The way he looks at you, dark eyes smoldering with something unspoken, always makes you feel like heâs seeing more than just whatâs on the surface. Like heâs memorizing you.
âIâI think so,â you say softly, reaching for your cardigan, but before you can grab it, Jude steps in behind you, his chest pressing lightly against your back. His fingers brush over your bare shoulders, slow and deliberate, sending a shiver down your spine.
âYou donât need this,â he murmurs, lips so close to your ear that you feel the warmth of his breath. âItâs warm out.â
You swallow hard, your skin prickling under his touch. He knows exactly what heâs doing, and the worst part is that he enjoys itâloves the way you get all shy and flustered under his attention.
âI might get cold later,â you mumble, looking anywhere but at him.
Jude grins against your hair, his arms slipping around your waist, pulling you back against him. âIâll keep you warm, baby.â
Your breath catches. The way he says it, so effortlessly, like a promise wrapped in silk, makes you dizzy.
âJudeâŚâ
âMm?â
âIâI thought we were leaving?â you manage, heart pounding.
He laughs, nuzzling into your neck, pressing a slow, lingering kiss just below your ear. âWe are. But you keep distracting me.â
Your entire body feels like itâs on fire, and you donât trust yourself to say anything without making a complete fool of yourself, so you just push lightly at his arms. He chuckles but lets you go, stepping back with his hands raised in mock surrender.
âFine, fine. But you really do look beautiful, sweetheart.â
You duck your head, smiling despite yourself. âYou always say that.â
âBecause itâs always true.â
You shake your head at him, but the warmth in his gaze, the sincerity laced in his words, makes your heart swell.
As you gather your things, Jude grabs the picnic basket, still humming under his breath, his excitement infectious. He wonât tell you where youâre goingâheâs been annoyingly secretive about it all morningâbut from the way he keeps stealing glances at you, like heâs holding onto some grand secret, you know itâs going to be something special.
The car ride is filled with soft music and Judeâs hand resting comfortably on your thigh, his thumb tracing absentminded circles on your skin. Every now and then, he glances at you, a small, knowing smirk playing at his lips whenever he catches you sneaking a look at him.
âExcited?â he asks.
You nod, fingers twisting together in your lap. âYeah. I love surprises.â
Jude grins, squeezing your thigh. âGood. âCause youâre gonna love this one.â
The drive takes longer than you expected, but you donât mind. With Jude, time always seems to melt away, the world outside shrinking until itâs just the two of you, wrapped in a little bubble of quiet intimacy.
When he finally pulls up to the destination, your breath catches. The sun is beginning to dip in the sky, casting everything in soft golden hues, and in front of you is a secluded little meadow, framed by towering trees. It looks like something out of a painting, untouched and serene.
âOh,â you breathe, stepping out of the car, eyes wide. âJude⌠itâs beautiful.â
His arms wrap around you from behind, chin resting on your shoulder. âYeah? You like it?â
You nod, unable to find the right words.
âI wanted it to be special,â he says softly, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. âFor you.â
Your throat tightens at that, and you turn in his arms, looking up at him. The sunlight catches in his eyes, turning them into molten honey, and for a moment, all you can do is stare.
âJudeâŚâ
His fingers tilt your chin up, his gaze flickering down to your lips. âCan I kiss you?â You swoon at how he still asks.
You donât even have to answer. You lift onto your toes, closing the space between you, and he meets you halfway, his lips capturing yours in a kiss thatâs slow and deep, filled with all the things he doesnât need to say out loud.
When you finally pull back, breathless and warm, he smiles against your lips. âTold you youâd love it.â
You laugh, heart full, and let him lead you toward the picnic heâs set up under the trees, the blanket spread out beneath the stars. Itâs so romantic you could cry.
Jude wasnât lying when he said youâd love it.
The picnic setup is nothing short of breathtaking. A thick, cozy blanket is spread over the grass, weighed down at the corners with a wicker basket, a bottle of wine, and a few lit lanterns that flicker warmly against the encroaching twilight. A small tent is pitched just a few feet away, its entrance left open, revealing plush pillows and more blankets inside. Everything about it feels intimate, private, like your own little world hidden away from everything else.
And JudeâGod, Jude looks so pleased with himself, hands on his hips, watching your reaction with a boyish grin.
âYou really did all this?â you ask softly, still a little stunned, still trying to process just how perfect it all is.
Jude chuckles, stepping behind you to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. âOf course,â he murmurs, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. âWanted to spoil my girl.â
Your face burns at that, heart skipping an entire beat. His girl. Itâs ridiculous how much those two little words make you melt, how they settle so easily into your chest like theyâve always belonged there.
âIâI love it,â you manage, voice barely above a whisper. âThank you.â
His lips graze the sensitive spot just behind your ear, and you shiver, hands gripping his forearms instinctively. âYou can thank me later,â he teases, his voice laced with something dark, something promising.
Your breath hitches. âJude.â
He just chuckles, pressing one last kiss to your neck before pulling away. âCâmon, sweetheart. Letâs eat before you get all shy on me.â
Heâs rightâyouâre already flustered, barely holding yourself together as you kneel on the blanket. Jude joins you, opening the basket to pull out an assortment of food. Thereâs fresh fruit, sandwiches, some of your favorite snacks, and even ingredients for sâmores.
âYou thought of everything,â you muse, watching as he uncorks the bottle of wine with practiced ease.
ââCourse I did,â he says, winking. âGotta impress my girl.â
Your stomach flutters. You shake your head, biting your lip as you take the glass he hands you, trying to suppress the ridiculous smile threatening to take over your face.
The two of you eat leisurely, the conversation flowing as effortlessly as it always does. Jude makes you laugh until your sides ache, teasing you in that way only he canâflirty, playful, but always affectionate.
Itâs easy. Being with him.
Eventually, the stars come out, a sprawling canvas of light stretching endlessly above you. You lay back on the blanket, staring up in awe, while Jude props himself up on one elbow, watching you instead.
âYou brought your telescope, yeah?â he asks.
You nod, turning your head to meet his gaze. âMhm. Itâs in the car.â
Jude smirks. âThink you could teach me some constellations?â
You hum, considering. âDepends.â
âOn?â
âOn how well you listen.â
He grins, leaning in, his face dangerously close to yours. âI always listen to you, sweetheart.â
Your breath catches. His hand finds your hip, fingers tracing slow, lazy patterns through the fabric of your dress. âJudeâŚâ
âMm?â
âYouâre distracting me.â
He laughs, low and deep. âAm I?â
You nod, cheeks burning. âVery much.â
Judeâs fingers tighten on your hip, just slightly, just enough for you to feel the possessiveness in the gesture. âThatâs funny,â he murmurs, dipping his head so that his lips ghost over yours, not quite kissing you, just teasing. âBecause youâve been distracting me all damn night.â
Your pulse stutters. âIâI have?â
Jude exhales sharply, like he canât believe youâd even ask. âSweetheart,â he murmurs, pressing a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth. âYou have no idea what you do to me.â
Your hands grip at his hoodie, trying to ground yourself, trying to breathe through the sudden onslaught of heat pooling low in your stomach. âJude,â you whisper, barely able to get his name out.
He groans, like you saying his name alone is enough to drive him insane, and then he finally closes the distance, kissing you deep and slow, like he has all the time in the world to unravel you piece by piece.
And you let him. Because itâs Jude. Because you trust him. Because he makes you feel safe even when he makes you feel like youâre coming undone.
When he finally pulls away, youâre breathless, dizzy. He rests his forehead against yours, breathing heavily, his fingers still gripping your hip like heâs afraid youâll disappear.
âYouâre gonna be the death of me,â he mutters, but heâs smiling when he says it, and you canât help but smile too.
âYou started it,â you tease, voice barely above a whisper.
Jude laughs, shaking his head. âYeah, yeah.â He presses a quick, final kiss to your lips before rolling onto his back, staring up at the sky. âGo on, then. Teach me something.â
You giggle, reaching for his hand, lacing your fingers together. âOkay,â you say softly, squeezing his hand once. âSee that bright one over there?â
Jude hums, squeezing back. âYeah.â
âThatâs Vega.â
He turns his head to look at you, eyes full of something unbearably fond. âIs it the prettiest star?â
You blink, caught off guard by the question. âWell, Iââ
âBecause if it is,â he interrupts, grinning, âthen it makes sense why it reminds me of you.â
Your heart stutters, cheeks burning, and you groan, covering your face with your hands. âJude.â
He laughs, warm and rich, pulling you closer until youâre curled into his side, the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your ear.
You stay like that for a couple minutes, his fingers trace lazy patterns along your arm, his warmth seeping into your skin, grounding you. You feel safe here. Cherished.
And you make your decision.
âYouâre quiet,â Jude murmurs, tilting his head down to look at you. His voice is low, roughened by the night air, by the intimacy wrapped around you both like a second skin.
You swallow, nerves bubbling in your stomach. Youâve been thinking about this for weeks now, letting the thought sit in the corners of your mind, letting it grow into something more solid, more certain.
And now, in the golden glow of this moment, with the stars watching and Jude holding you like youâre his world, you finally gather the courage to say it.
âJudeâŚâ Your voice is small, hesitant. You shift slightly so you can look up at him, your heart hammering against your ribs. âIâI think Iâm ready.â
His brows furrow, lips parting slightly as he processes your words. Then his expression softens, something warm and deep flickering in his gaze. âReady for what, sweetheart?â He knows what you're asking for. But he doesn't want to get ahead of himself, so he waits for you to confirm.
You bite your lip, fingers twisting in the fabric of the blanket. It takes everything in you to hold his gaze, but you do, because you need him to know that you mean this. That you want this.
âFor⌠us. For that.â Your cheeks burn, and youâre sure you must look ridiculous, but Jude just watches you, patient as ever. âI want to be with you. I want you to be my first.â
For a moment, he doesnât say anything. Just stares at you with an unreadable expression, his grip on you tightening slightly. Then, slowly, his thumb brushes over your cheek, his touch feather-light.
âAre you sure?â His voice is barely above a whisper, careful and deliberate, like heâs giving you one last chance to change your mind.
You nod, pressing your cheek into his palm. âIâve never been more sure about anything.â
Something shifts in his gazeâsomething deep, something intense. His jaw tightens like heâs holding something back, but then he exhales, his hand slipping from your face to intertwine with yours.
âOkay,â he says softly. âOkay, baby.â He lifts your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. âLet's go inside then.â
You nod and he helps you up, his movements slow and deliberate, as if heâs afraid youâll disappear if he moves too fast. He doesnât rush, doesnât push. Just holds your hand as he leads you toward the tent, zipping it open and stepping aside to let you in first.
The inside is cozy, lit only by the soft glow of the lanterns Jude set up earlier. The air is warm, thick with something unspoken, something electric. You settle onto the pile of blankets and pillows, watching as Jude kneels in front of you, his hands resting on his thighs.
âYouâre so beautiful,â he says, his voice barely above a breath, as if the words are meant only for you and the universe.
You duck your head, suddenly shy, but Jude doesnât let you hide. He reaches out, tilting your chin up so your eyes meet his. âYou donât have to be nervous,â he murmurs, brushing a kiss over your cheek, then your jaw, then the corner of your lips. âIâve got you.â
You nod, exhaling softly. âI know.â
His lips find yours then, slow and tender, like heâs savoring the moment. His hands are gentle as they slide up your arms, over your shoulders, down your back. Thereâs no rush, no urgencyâjust soft touches, soft kisses, soft whispers.
The world outside fades into nothingness, leaving only the two of you. The stars, once so distant, now feel like they're watching closely, witnesses to something both innocent and deeply intimate. His kiss deepens slowly, the pressure of his lips soft and coaxing, as if he's waiting for you to lead, to guide him through this moment. His hands are everywhere, but always with a reverence, like he's treating every inch of you as something precious.
You feel your pulse quicken under his touch, the fluttering of nerves mixing with something else, something sweet. He can sense it, tooâhow your breath catches every time he moves, every time his fingers graze your skin.
âHey,â Jude murmurs against your lips, his voice a touch rougher now, laced with need. He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, his gaze dark and intense. âIt's just me, okay? Always just me.â
You nod, swallowing hard, but Jude's fingers tighten on your waist like he needs more assurance. Like he needs to hear it from you.
âJust you,â you manage, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jude's eyes flash with something like triumph, and his lips find yours again in a kiss that's soft, deep, devouring.
Jude is gentle, almost unbearably so, as he slowly tilts you back onto the pillows. The world seems to narrow to just the two of youâthe rustling of the blankets beneath you, the warmth of his hands steadying your body, the quiet exhale of his breath fanning against your skin. Your hair spreads out like a halo against the sheets, and Jude just stares for a moment, his gaze roaming over you like heâs seeing you for the first time.
"Fuck baby, look at you," he murmurs, voice rough, reverent. "You don't even know how pretty you are, do you?"
You swallow hard, looking at him through wet clumpy lashes, the warmth of him overwhelming you already. Jude bites his bottom lip at the sight of you already so fucked out for him. You're so fucking pretty and he can't wait to ruin you.
Judeâs weight shifts over you as he lowers himself between your legs, his body pressing against yours in a way that steals the breath from your lungs. Heâs everywhereâhis scent, his warmth, the solid weight of him pressing into you in all the places youâre most sensitive. You feel him, all of him, and your lashes flutter as you try not to tremble beneath him.
His hands slide up your sides, slow and deliberate, his fingers catching the hem of your dress. He pushes the fabric up inch by inch, exposing more of your skin to the cool air, and then he makes a soundâlow, almost pained.
"Jesus, sweetheart," he breathes, dipping his head to your neck. He kisses you there, soft at first, then with more intent, dragging his lips over the delicate skin until he reaches your collarbone. His mouth is hot, open-mouthed, tasting you, lingering. The smell of you putting him in a haze. "Need to taste you. Gonna let me? Mhm?"
The words send a bolt of heat straight to your core.
You nod, but the motion is shaky, your lips parted as you struggle to find your voice. "Y-yeah," you whisper, barely more than breath.
Jude smiles against your skin, finding your shyness utterly endearing. Even after all this time you're still so fucking cute. "Thatâs my girl," he murmurs, his fingers trailing lower.
You feel them at the edge of your panties, feel the soft tug as he starts to slide them down. Your breath hitches, and Jude pauses immediately, glancing up at you. His eyes are warm, searching.
"Hey," he murmurs, pressing a kiss just above your navel. "You okay?"
You nod again, but he doesnât move right away. He watches you, patient, waiting for you to really settle before continuing. Itâs so incredibly tender that your heart squeezes in your chest.
When he finally does pull your panties away, his breath catches. His hands part your thighs, thumbs stroking over the sensitive skin there, and he exhales like heâs been waiting his whole life for this moment. He has.
"Fuck, baby," he whispers, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh. "Such a pretty pussy."
Your fingers curl into the sheets as he works his way lower, his lips tracing paths of fire down your legs, teasing, deliberate. Youâre already shaking by the time his breath ghosts over the sensitive skin of your mound.
"Can I kiss it, baby?" His voice is low, dark, laced with something sinful, something that makes your entire body burn.
You canât even speak. Your lips part, but no words come out, just a soft whimper that makes Jude grin against your skin. He loves thisâthe way you melt for him, the way you look at him with wide, innocent eyes like you canât believe whatâs happening.
"Youâve gotta tell me, princess," he murmurs, his hands gripping your thighs, his thumbs tracing slow, soothing circles. "Need to hear you say it."
"Y-yeah," you stammer, barely audible, but itâs enough.
Jude groans, his lips pressing one last kiss to your inner thigh before finally, finallyâ
The first touch of his mouth is pure ecstacy. You gasp, your body jolting against the bed, and Jude hums in approval. His tongue moves slowly, languidly, savoring every inch of you like youâre the sweetest thing heâs ever tasted. You are.
"God, baby," he groans into you, his voice vibrating against your skin. "Taste so fucking good. Could stay here all night."
His hands slide beneath your thighs, pulling you closer, tilting your hips just right so he can get even deeper. His tongue flicks over your clit, teasing, and your entire body tenses. Your fingers shoot to his hair, gripping onto the dark coils as if theyâre the only thing keeping you tethered to reality.
Jude chuckles, and the sound is pure sin. "That good, huh?"
You let out a broken whimper, your head tipping back, your cheeks burning. Heâs watching youâGod, heâs watching you. His eyes flicker up to meet yours, dark and hungry, and the sight alone is enough to make your stomach twist with want.
"Look at you," he murmurs, licking into you again, slow and deep. "So fucking pretty when you let go for me."
You squeeze your eyes shut, overwhelmed, but heâs not having it. One of his hands moves up your body, sliding beneath your dress until he finds your hand, lacing his fingers through yours.
"Donât hide from me, sweetheart," he murmurs against your skin. "Wanna see you. Wanna watch you fall apart."
And you do.
With every stroke of his tongue, every whispered praise against your skin, and wet slick sound of his mouth, your body coils tighter, your breath coming in sharp little pants. It feels like youâre being pulled apart at the seams, every nerve on fire, and itâs terrifying, overwhelming, but Judeâheâs there, holding you, grounding you, whispering sweet nothings against your pussy.
When he flicks his tongue over your clit once more, you lose it.
Your body convulses, your thighs squeezing around him, and Jude holds you through it all, his tongue never ceasing its motion. He groans against your skin, his hand gripping your thigh hard, but you barely feel it. All you can do is sob his name, your head tipping back in a silent scream, your body shaking with the force of your orgasm.
Jude stays with you through it allâlicking, sucking, slowly bringing you down from the high. He doesnât stop until your body finally relaxes against the mattress, limp and warm and pliant. Then he moves up your body in a slow, languid crawl, lips dragging over your skin, kissing everything he passes. His fingers find your hair, stroking it back from your face, and then his mouth meets yours.
You're still reeling from what he's done, from the way heâs touched you, taken you apart like he was born to do it. Your body is thrumming, heat pooling low in your belly, and yet Judeâs kiss is gentleâsofter than you expect, coaxing you back to reality, back to him.
He tastes like youâsalt and sweetness mixed into something heady and intoxicating. The taste of him makes you whimper against his lips, and he swallows the sound like itâs his favorite thing in the world.
"Hi, baby," he murmurs, his nose brushing against yours, lips barely ghosting over your mouth as he speaks. "Still with me?"
You hum, nodding shyly, your fingers fisting the sheets beside you.
Jude grins against your lips, his voice turning teasing. "Good girl."
His words send a ripple of warmth through you, but before you can say anything, he leans back, arms flexing as he peels his shirt off in one smooth motion. The sight of him, shirtless and breathtaking, has your breath hitching. His body is all lean muscle, defined and golden brown. Spit pools in your mouth, and you have to swallow quickly to stop from embarrassing yourself.
Jude notices. Of course, he does. His smirk is knowing, his dark eyes full of mischief as he tosses the shirt aside.
"Like what you see, sweetheart?" he teases, voice dipping low, sinful.
Your face burns, but you canât look away.
His laughter is soft, affectionate. "Youâre too cute," he murmurs, brushing his fingers over your flushed cheek before dipping lower, reaching for the hem of your dress. His knuckles graze your skin, making you shiver. "Letâs get this off you."
Before you can protest, the fabric is slipping over your head and thenâthen youâre bare for him.
The moment stretches, thick with anticipation. You shift slightly, suddenly shy under his gaze, but Jude just looks at you like youâre a masterpiece, like heâs afraid to blink in case you disappear.
"Fuck," he breathes, his voice rough, reverent. "You're so fucking pretty."
You barely have time to register his words before his lips are back on yoursâhotter this time, more insistent. Thereâs no hesitation now, no teasing restraint. He kisses you like heâs starved, like heâs trying to consume every last bit of you.
You gasp against his mouth, arching into him, needing more, and he groans, gripping your thigh and pulling it over his hip. The new angle has you feeling him more, the thick press of his cock through his pants sending sparks of desire shooting straight to your core.
"Jude," you whisper, breathless.
He presses his forehead to yours, his breathing ragged. "I know, baby," he murmurs, rolling his hips against yours. The friction is maddening, sinful. You moan, and he catches the sound with his mouth, swallowing it greedily.
"You're so soft," he whispers, his hands roaming, fingertips dragging over your skin like heâs memorizing every inch of you. "So warm." Another roll of his hips, slow and deliberate. "I need you, baby."
His words send a shiver down your spine, heat curling deep inside you.
Judeâs mouth finds your throat, pressing open-mouthed kisses down to your chest. His hands follow, palms covering your breasts, kneading softly before his thumbs brush over your nipples. The sensation is too much, not enough, all at once.
You whimper, your hands flying to his shoulders, clutching him.
"You're so sensitive," Jude mutters, voice thick with want. He pinches one of your nipples lightly, watching as you jolt beneath him. "Makes me so fucking hard."
His words are filthy, but instead of making you shy away, they send another wave of heat pooling between your legs.
Your eyes flicker downward, and you see itâsee the thick outline of him straining against his pants. Your breath catches.
"Take them off," you whisper, surprising yourself.
Jude stills, his gaze snapping to yours, surprised. Then, he smirks, but thereâs something darker, hungrier beneath it. "Yeah?"
You nod, biting your lip.
He doesnât need to be told twice. In one swift motion, he kicks off his pants and boxer briefs, and then heâs bare before you.
Your breath stutters. HeâsâGod.
Thick, veiny and oh so hard.
Your thighs press together instinctively, and Jude notices. His smirk grows, but thereâs a softness in his eyes, too. He leans down, brushing a kiss to your jaw, your cheek, your nose.
But thenâ
"Shit." He suddenly freezes, his face scrunching in frustration. "I donât have condoms."
You blink, his words slow to register through the haze of desire clouding your mind.
Jude groans, dragging a hand through his hair. "Fuck, Iâm so sorry. I didnât think weâd be doing this tonight."
You hesitate, then swallow your nerves. "Itâs okay," you murmur. You reach down, wrapping your fingers around him, feeling the warmth, the weight of him in your palm. He sucks in a sharp breath. "Iâm on birth control."
"Sweetheart," he groans, his hips jerking slightly into your hand. "Donât do that."
But you do. You stroke him slowly, experimentally, fascinated by the way his breathing stutters, the way his jaw clenches like heâs barely holding himself together.
Jude curses under his breath, his head dropping to your shoulder. "Youâre gonna make me cum if you keep that up."
You hum softly, dragging your thumb over the tip, spreading the precum leaking out. He chokes on a groan, his hands gripping your hips tight.
Youâve never seen him like thisâso undone, so desperate.
And God, you love it.
"Please, baby," he rasps, his voice thick with need. "Squeeze tighter for me."
You bite your lip as you obey, watching him through your lashes. Heâs so big, so hard for you. Your walls clenches just thinking about it, a rush of slick flooding your core.
Jude notices. His eyes flick down to where your thighs press together, and then the last of his control snaps.
He grabs your wrist, pulling your hand away from him.
His hands slide down, tracing the curve of your waist before gripping your thighs, spreading them open carefully.
"Tell me if it hurts, sweetheart," he murmurs, reaching down to stroke himself. He brushes his lips over your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, soothing you in every way he can. "Iâll stop if you need me to. Iâll take care of you, I promise."
You believe him. You always have.
Then, he shifts, and you feel him at your entrance, his heavy gaze locked between your thighs. A nervous breath hitches in your throat, your fingers fisting into the sheets. Jude notices, of course he does, and his lips curve into a teasing smirk.
âRelax, sweetheart,â he murmurs, his voice low and sweet like honey. âI got you.â
You nod, though your body remains tense, overwhelmed by his closeness, by the way his touch ignites something deep inside you. Then, he moves the head of his cock over your clit, slow and deliberate, rubbing lazy circles that have your breath stuttering. The sensation is new, foreign yet delicious, and just as youâre adjusting to the pleasure, he taps it against your swollen bud, making you jolt.
A soft gasp escapes you, your fingers gripping the sheets tighter.
âJesus fuck,â he groans, shaking his head as he watches how his thick head glides easily between your slick folds. The sound it makes makes you bury you face in his shoulder âYouâre so wet, baby. All fucking mine.â
His words send a rush of heat through your body, your cheeks burning as you turn your face to the side, too shy to meet his gaze. But Jude isnât having it. He cups your chin gently, coaxing you to look at him.
âDonât hide from me,â he whispers, pressing a tender kiss to your lips.Â
The hunger in his voice makes you clench and he groans at the feeling. Then, heâs pressing in, the thick head pushing past your entrance, stretching you in a way that makes you suck in a sharp breath. Your lashes flutter, but Judeâs there, his eyes locked on yours, his lips brushing reassuring kisses over your nose, your cheek.
âI know,â he murmurs. âI know, baby.âÂ
He slides in further, slow, slow. You feel yourself spreading around his girth, the feeling of fullness intense but not quite painful. The dull pressure borders on discomfort, but Jude doesnât rush you. He moves slowly, carefully, inch by inch, pausing to let you adjust, his hands soothing over your sides.
âYouâre doing so good for me, baby,â he praises, his lips brushing over your cheek, your jaw, down to your throat. âJust breathe. Iâve got you.â
You exhale shakily, trying to relax as he pushes deeper. Thereâs a slight burn, your body resisting the intrusion, but the way Jude watches youâso patient, so gentleâeases the tension. He strokes your thigh, his thumb rubbing slow, reassuring circles into your skin.
âAlmost there, sweetheart,â he murmurs, brushing a stray strand of hair from your damp forehead. His voice is wrecked, thick with restraint. âGod, you feel so fucking good. So warm, so tight.â
Your nails dig into his back as he finally sinks in all the way, filling you completely. A whimper leaves your lips, overwhelmed by the stretch, by the feeling of being utterly, entirely full. Jude stills immediately, concern flickering across his face.
âToo much?â he asks, his thumb brushing your cheek.
You shake your head quickly, blinking up at him. âNoâjust⌠full,â you admit breathlessly, your voice barely above a whisper.
His expression softens, pressing a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering there.
He doesnât move, just holds you, letting you adjust at your own pace. His lips find your neck, trailing slow, reverent kisses down to your collarbone. His hands never stop moving, caressing your thighs, your hips, your waistâeverywhere. It helps, the ache easing into something warmer, something better.
You shift slightly beneath him, testing the sensation, and a tiny moan escapes you at the delicious friction. Jude groans, his fingers tightening on your hips like heâs barely holding on.
âFuck,â he rasps, his forehead dropping to your shoulder. âYouâre so fucking tight. Pussy feels like heaven, baby.â
His words send a fresh wave of heat through you, making you squirm in embarrassment. You bury your face against his neck, but he only chuckles, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear.
âDonât be shy,â he coaxes, his voice laced with amusement. âI wanna hear you, sweetheart.â
His hands slide down to your hips, gripping them gently as he pulls out, slow and careful, before sinking back in. The friction sends a shiver up your spine, something new and intoxicating unfurling in your belly. Your breath stutters, your fingers digging into his shoulders.
Jude watches you closely, his eyes dark and heated. Then, his lips twitch into a knowing grin.
âThere it is,â he murmurs, his voice thick with pride. âYou like that, baby?â
Your cheeks flame, but the pleasure is too much to deny. You nod, barely able to form words, and Jude groans, dropping his head to your collarbone as he fights to keep himself together.
âFuck, this pussy,â the last sound drags out as his jaw goes slack. âfucking made for me.â
His thrusts remain slow, deep, every roll of his hips sending a ripple of pleasure through you. Itâs like nothing youâve ever felt before, a sensation you canât begin to describe. Every brush of his skin against yours sends sparks of sensation through your body.
Itâs not long before you find yourself moving with him, arching beneath him, searching for more. He hums in approval, his teeth nipping gently at your neck as he thrusts into you deeper, harder. You cry out, a high whimper, and Jude swallows it greedily.
Youâre completely lost in the sensation of him, the way he moves above you like a dream, like a vision. The way his lips drag over your skin, the soft praise against your ear, the heavy weight of him on top of you. It all feels so good, so overwhelming, that you find yourself clinging to him, your arms wrapping around his shoulders like heâs the only thing that exists in this moment.
Jude growls, his mouth finding yours as he kisses you hard, deep. He fucks you into the mattress, hard and fast, rougher than he ever thought heâd be with you. But youâitâs like you were made for him, like your body was built for this, for his cock.
And it makes him crazy.
âFuuuckk,â he rasps into your mouth, your lips barely parting for words. âGonna cum for me? Hm?â
He slips a hand down between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit. He strokes it, hard, slow circles that make you cry out. Your walls clench around him as he rubs you fasterâitâs like the best thing youâve ever felt.
And thenâŚ
"Oh, fuck! Jude!" you cry out, your back concaving into him as his tip grazes a spot that has tears spilling down your cheeks. You can only describe it as pure ecstasy and heâs not letting up. âOh, God. Oh, Godâ
Jude curses, his hips moving faster, thrusting into your gspot over and over again. Youâre sobbing now, "Found it."Jude whispers, a triumphant smirk spreading across his face as he angles his hips to hit that sweet spot over and over.  You're getting so close, your bodyâs a live wire, waiting to snap.
âJudeâfuck! I-Iâm gonna cum!â you sob.
His hand tightens on your hip, his fingers bruising. âThen cum, baby,â he grunts, his own body tense, close. âLet me feel it. Cum for me, sweetheart. Fucking milk my cock.â
The filthy words send you over the edge, your body arching as waves of pleasure crash over you, a force so intense it steals the air from your lungs. Your fingers clutch at Judeâs broad shoulders, nails pressing into his flushed skin, as a broken sob falls from your lips. The pleasure is overwhelmingâtoo much, too deep, too consumingâbut you surrender to it, trembling as your body spasms around him.
"Thatâs it, love," Jude groans, his voice rough with desperation, his fingers tangling with yours as he pins your hands above your head, holding you there, helpless beneath him. âJude,â you gasp, voice trembling, eyes glazed over with pleasure.
The sight of youâflushed, trembling, your lips parted in a breathless moanâYour slick gummy walls spasm around him, clenching tight, and itâs all Jude needs to follow you into the abyss of bliss.
A deep, guttural groan rumbles from his chest, his head tipping back as his thrusts turn frantic, desperate, chasing his own pleasure. You watch as his eyes roll back and his jaw goes slack as his mouth forms an 'O'. âFuckkkk,â he grits out, his entire body shuddering. âThatâs it, princess. Love this fuckinâ pussy.â
His hips stutter, his thick cock jerks inside you once, twice, then heâs goneâspilling deep inside of you with a strangled moan. You feel itâthe warmth of him, thick and hot, filling you up completely. His body trembles against yours as he collapses, his chest pressing against your own, heartbeat wild and erratic.
For a few moments, thereâs nothing but the sound of your mingled breaths, the cool night air brushing over your sweat-slicked skin. The world outside the tent is quiet, save for the occasional chirp of crickets or the distant rustling of leaves.
Judeâs nose brushes against your temple, his lips following in a lazy path along your hairline, down your cheek, over your jaw. He peppers soft kisses across your skin, like he canât bear to stop touching you. His arms tighten around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, like heâs afraid you might slip away.
You blink up at him, your vision still hazy, your body still trembling from the aftershocks. And then, unexpectedly, a giggle bubbles past your lips.Â
Jude stirs, lifting his head to look down at you with a lopsided grin. His honey brown eyes are filled with amusement, mischief, and something far softerâsomething that makes your stomach flip.
âWhat are you laughinâ at, princess?â His voice is hoarse, still rough with pleasure and a hint of exhaustion. His thumb strokes slow circles over your hipbone.
You shake your head, a little breathless, still giddy. âThat wasâŚâ You pause, searching for the right words, but nothing feels like enough. Your cheeks burn as you hide your face against his shoulder. âI donât even know how to describe it.â
Jude chuckles, the deep sound vibrating against your skin. âI think I do.â
You peek up at him, curiosity flickering in your dazed gaze. âYeah?â
He hums, pressing another slow, lingering kiss to your lips before pulling back just enough to study your face, propping himself up on one elbow so he can look down at you, his fingers tracing absentminded circles against your skin
âIt was,â he starts, dragging the moment out, watching the way your lips part slightly, the way your lashes flutter. He smirks. âPretty fuckinâ perfect.â
Your blush deepens, and you swat at his chest, but your hand has no real strength behind it. âJude,â you whine, embarrassed, but he only laughs, catching your wrist and bringing it to his lips. He presses a kiss to your palm, then your fingertips, his eyes never leaving yours.
âI mean it,â he murmurs, voice lower now, more serious. âYouâre perfect.â
Your heart stumbles, skipping a beat before thudding heavily against your ribs. You swallow, suddenly shy, suddenly overwhelmed by the depth of emotion in his gaze.
The way he's looking at you now. It's too much.
âIâŚâ Your throat feels tight, words catching. But Jude just smiles, like he understands, like he doesnât need you to say anything at all.
He shifts, rolling onto his side making you wince as you remember he's still inside you, bringing you with him so that youâre tucked against his chest, your leg draped over his hip, your face buried in the crook of his neck. His fingers trace lazy patterns down your spine, soothing, grounding.
It's so intimate; knowing that's he's inside you, the warmth of him filling you completely as you involuntarily clench around him. The knowledge of his cum still inside you and the slight burn from the stretch that's making your hips sore.
Jude groans quietly, his head tipping back at the overstimulation, his eyes falling closed as he tries to calm himself down. âHold on, love, just a second.â He hisses out a breath and reaches down to grasp himself at the base before gently pulling out, whispering sweet nothings and soft apologies at the wince you let out.
The feeling of emptiness is immediate, your walls clenching, but you say nothing, just bite your lip and look away as Jude reaches for his shirt. He wipes himself clean before he getting up. You watch with confusion as he slips on his boxers and slides out of the tent. But it's not long before he's back. He crawls back inside with a wet cloth, a small bowl of fruits you packed earlier and your water bottle. He sits down next to you with a soft smile, the cloth held out in his hands. Your cheeks grow warm as you realize what heâs doing.Â
âSpread your legs for me, princess .â His voice is soft, gentle. He waits patiently for you to do as he asks, and the way his eyes soften as you listen⌠It makes tears well up in your eyes. To be taken care of like thisâis beyond what you expected. He cleans you gently before he sets the cloth down and reaches for the bowl of fruit.
His eyes light up as he holds a grape to your lips and you accept it with a giggle. He hands you a slice of apple next, and you take a bite, smiling softly at the sight of his relaxed expression. It's like nothing else exists, like only you two are here in the moment. After you finish your snack, he holds out your water bottle and you thank him as you take a long drink.
Jude watches you with something dangerously close to adoration, his gaze flickering over your face like heâs memorizing every little thingâyour flushed cheeks, your sleepy eyes, the way your lips glisten as you sip from the bottle. His fingers trail absentmindedly over your thigh, warm and soothing, tracing lazy patterns onto your skin.
âYou okay, love?â he murmurs, his voice thick with something soft, something that makes your chest feel too tight.
You nod, still shy, still unsure what to do with all the emotions swirling inside you.
Jude must sense it, must see the way you hesitate, the way your fingers fidget in your lap. He tilts your chin up with the barest touch of his fingers, forcing you to meet his gaze. His thumb brushes over your lower lip, his expression unreadable.
"You're thinkin' too much," he teases gently. "Wanna tell me what's goin' on in that pretty little head of yours?"
You hesitate, your throat bobbing as you swallow. But under his gaze, so open and patient, you find yourself whispering, "Just⌠I donât know how to explain it." Your fingers toy with the hem of the blanket, suddenly fascinated by the texture. "I just feel⌠full."
His brows lift, and for a second, a wicked smirk plays at the corners of his lips. âFull, huh?â
Your eyes widen as you catch the meaning, and you smack his arm with an indignant squeak. "Not like that, Jude!"
His laugh rumbles deep in his chest, rich and warm, and you feel it against your cheek where youâve buried your face again, hiding. His arms wrap around you, pulling you against him with ease, his lips brushing against your temple.
"Alright, alright," he murmurs, amusement still thick in his voice. "Iâll behave."
You huff, but the way his fingers thread through your hair, his touch slow and methodical, makes your body melt against him. He presses a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips, taking his time with each one like heâs savoring the taste of you.
âYou feel full,â he echoes, more serious now, as if heâs trying to understand. "Full of what, love?"
Your lashes flutter as you blink up at him, "I love you, Jude Bellingham ."
His eyes widen, a flicker of surprise crossing his features, but then a softness takes over, and his arms tighten, his hands cupping your face with such gentle care.
âY/N Y/L/Nâ His voice is low, raspy, filled with something deep and real. "I love you too. More than I ever thought it was possible to feel. Youâre my everything, Y/N. I never wanna spend another night without you in my arms. Every day without you feels too long, too much, too wrong. Will you marry me?"
The world slows, the weight of his words sinking into your bones, melting into the marrow. You blink, stunned, your breath caught somewhere between your ribs as your heart hammers wildly against your chest.
He shifts slightly, one arm still wrapped around you, the other reaching into the pocket of his discarded jeans. You watch, wide-eyed, as he pulls out a small velvet box. The soft glow of the lantern casts golden hues on his face, highlighting the nervous anticipation in his warm brown eyes.
âJudeâŚâ Your voice is barely a whisper, your fingers trembling as you reach up, touching his cheek as if to confirm itâs real and not some dream spun from the afterglow of your love.
He smiles, tilting his head just slightly into your touch, his thumb tracing gentle circles against the small of your back. âYeah, love. Itâs real,â he murmurs, as if reading your thoughts. âBeen carryinâ this around for weeks, waitinâ for the right time. And I realized⌠thereâs no better time than right now.â
He flicks open the box, revealing a delicate ring, the band slender and elegant, a diamond nestled in its center, catching the lantern light and scattering it in tiny flecks across the canvas of the tent. Your breath catches, tears welling in your eyes, blurring the sight of it.
âY/N, you are the best thing thatâs ever happened to me,â he says, his voice steady, thick with emotion. âI know we haven't been together long, but I canât live without you. Every single day, you make me happier than I ever thought I deserved. I love you. I love your shy little smiles, the way you tuck your face into my neck when you get flustered. I love the way you look at me like I hung the stars, when really, youâre the one that lights up my whole world.â
A soft, overwhelmed sound escapes your lips, something between a laugh and a sob, and he grins, his dimples carving into his cheeks.
âYou donât have to say yes right now,â he adds quickly, as if heâs worried you might feel pressured, as if he canât bear to see even a hint of hesitation in your eyes. âI just⌠I want you to know that Iâm all in. I wanna be yours for the rest of my life. Whenever youâre ready, whenever you want meâIâm here.â
Your hands shake as you reach for the box, fingers barely brushing the velvet before you shift, pressing forward, wrapping yourself around him as best as you can. Your lips find hisâsoft, eager, trembling against his own. He catches your breathy gasp with a quiet groan, deepening the kiss, his hands firm at your waist, pulling you impossibly close.
When you finally pull away, youâre breathless, your forehead resting against his. âYes,â you whisper, voice thick with emotion. âYes, Jude. I want youâI want forever with you.â
The way his face lights up, the way pure joy radiates from himâit steals the very breath from your lungs. âYeah?â His voice wavers just slightly, disbelief laced into the happiness.
You nod fervently, laughing softly as tears slip down your cheeks. âYes. A million times, yes.â
A sound rumbles in his chestâsomething between relief and elationâas he slips the ring onto your finger, his hands shaking slightly. And then heâs kissing you again, laughing against your lips, his hands tangling in your hair, his body pressing you back down onto the soft blanket beneath you.
âYouâve just made me the happiest man alive, love.â His voice is warm, reverent, as his lips trail along your jaw, down the column of your throat. His fingers find your hand, threading through yours, the cool metal of your new ring pressing against his skin. âI swear, Iâll spend every day making sure you never regret saying yes to me.â
You smile, your free hand slipping into his curls, tugging just slightly until he looks up at you, his eyes dark with something deep, something infinite. âI could never regret you, Jude.â
His breath stutters, and then heâs kissing you again, deep and slow, his love spilling from his lips, from the way his hands trace over your skin.
When he finally pulls away, youâre dazed, breathless, your fingers still curled into his like you donât want him to go too far.
Jude chuckles, resting his forehead against yours again. âGotta say, campingâs never been this fun before.â
You giggle, and the sound makes something warm bloom in his chest.
âI think I like it too,â you admit, your voice small, âEspecially⌠with you.â
His arms tighten around you, and when he speaks next, his voice is quieter, raw with something unspoken.
âGood. âCause I plan on makinâ a lot more memories with you, princess.â He tilts his head just enough to steal another soft kiss. âForever and always, huh?â
âForever and always,â you echo, smiling into the next kiss.
-Biancađť
pairing: (childhood bff) gavi x reader summary: a scene from your childhood, a promise from your best friend, and a full circle moment word count: 889
a/n: it's finally done! this is the gavi fic i couldn't decide on the ending for - thank u to everyone who voted in my poll for it <33 đ - also I KNOW there aren't live commentators when you watch football matches in person okay its for the plot
âIn ten years, Iâll probably be so good that Iâll score all the time! And you can come and watch my matches!âÂ
You could remember it like it was yesterday - Gavi sitting next to you on a park bench, the two of you messily devouring ice cream cones you had begged your mum for enough pocket money to buy. He was excitedly explaining his plans for when the two of you were older, him being a professional footballer obviously, and you still by his side.Â
âAnd when I do score, Iâll point up to you in the stands just like this, okay?â
âThatâs so far away in the future, youâll probably forget by then,â you sigh, but you canât stop yourself from laughing as he poses and his melting ice cream drips down his small hands and onto the pavement below.Â
âI wonât, I swear!âÂ
You nod unconvincingly, more concerned with making sure your treat doesnât become a similar mess and for a moment the two of you sit in silence. The warm summer sun tingles on your round cheeks, even as the approaching afternoon causes it to dip below the horizon. You watch as Gavi tries again, and fails, to clean up his hands by lapping up the dripping ice cream. Despite being so young, youâre struck by a sudden desire to retrospectively freeze this moment in time and make sure the two of you can stay like this forever, safe from the changes growing up might hold.Â
âIâll have to go back soon,â Gaviâs voice cuts through your uncharacteristically angsty thoughts, as he turns back to you worriedly after noticing the dimming skyline.Â
âAh, right,â you mumble, slumping back onto the bench - the two of you had been enjoying yourself so much you had almost forgotten how strict of a curfew the academy gave him.Â
âHey, donât worry!â Gavi pipes up, noticing your expression, âthe more time I spend training the sooner youâll get to watch me score super cool goals!âÂ
You try your best to muster up a convincing smile, not wanting to send him back in a bad mood after the two of you had had such a fun afternoon together. Satisfied, he finishes whatâs left of his icecream before hopping up off the bench and brushing the crumbs of his cones off his lip. You stand too, albeit slower, since you too need to get home before it gets dark.
âOh and hey, Fermin showed me how to use the dorm phone last night, so I can finally call you! Keep an eye on your phone tonight, okay?â Â
Before you can reply he pulls you into a tight hug, and all you can think about is how you hope he can't feel how hard your heart is beating in your chest. Before you can hug back heâs already pulling away, shooting you another quick smile before turning to jog in the direction of the dorms, and you wave goodbye as you watch him go. Youâre not sure why you do this, since youâre pretty sure he wonât see you - but if not for him, you wave to give yourself an excuse to stand there a little longer and watch his tiny silhouette disappearing into the afternoon sun.
Despite the deafening cheers of thousands of fans, Gavi is able to spot you from where he's standing on the pitch - his worried expression is instantly replaced with a beaming smile, his arms frantically waving to get your attention. As soon as you spot him you can't help but do the same, almost falling out of your seat as you do, excitement coursing through your veins.
Sitting back, you take a minute to take everything in - the vibrant green of the field is almost blinding and the clamour of everyone around you is enough to give you a headache. But more than anything, you're hyper-focused on one thing tonight, this being the first professional match you'd been able to watch your childhood best friend play.
The match starts with the shrill shriek of the whistle, and you're on the edge of your seat, eyes following the quick movements of the ball as best as you can. To be honest, you know very little about football despite Gavi talking your ear off about it at any opportunity you gave him - but you know enough to know he's absolutely killing it. It's actually a little difficult to keep up with how fast he's moving.
It happens before you can even register it, but the surge of cheers and people jumping up around you forces you up to your feet to join in. Your eyes race, desperate to find your friend - but it seems he's already found you, both eyes locked on yours as he points up to you with the widest smile you've ever seen.
At that moment, you see an echo of the young boy you had fallen in love with over ten years ago - and you can't believe he's kept his promise, the pose and smile the same as it had been back then. You're breathless with joy, and you feel your heart swell.
"Oh, and what's this? The young midfielder seems to be pointing up to someone in the stands!" the voice of a commentator booms through the speakers as you sink back into your seat, your cheeks almost aching from how wide you're smiling.
"We can't really see who it is, but whoever it is must be someone extremely special to him, and extremely lucky!"
Written Fics
Achilles Come Down
A Crime Against Fashion
All Locked Up
Bet on It
Black Magic
Blackmail Material
Blow Out the Candles
Boop!
Borrowed Time
Brake Balance
Break In, Breakdown
Breaking Point
Changing Lanes
Danger Noodles
Daydream
Eurovisionaries
Fairytale
Family Feud
Fit for a Queen
Gilded Cage
Going Once, Going Twice
Head Over Heels
Hydrate or Diedrate
Inked
La Regina
Lessons in Anatomy
Live Like We Want To
Lover
Made with Love
Make Them Proud
Manâs World
Mesaytara
My Brotherâs Father
Never Have I Ever
Newsflash
Oscar Jack Piastri-Leclerc
Ours to Protect
Prince of Monaco
Prove Them Wrong
Puppy Love
Roll the Dice
Ruin You
Sink or Swim
Sleepyhead
So Good to Her
So Good to Me
Something Sweet
Thatâs That Me, Espresso
The Center Cannot Hold
Theories of Relativity
Ties That Bind
Time to Kill
Under the Influence
Use Your Words
Whatâs the Worst That Can Happen?
Your Friend Steve
Social Media AUs
In My Blood (series with Senna!Reader)
architect!Reader
author!Reader
black!Reader
Brazilian!Reader
celebrity crush!Reader
CEO!Reader
college student!Reader
crazy rich!Reader
endurance driver!Reader
fashion designer!Reader
fan!Reader
Ferrari driver!Reader
Ferrari engineer!Reader
Ferrari team principal!Reader
footballer!Reader
girlfriend!Reader
Horner!Reader
MĂĽneskin!Reader
model!Reader
nepo baby!Reader
Newey!Reader
newlywed!Reader Part I
newlywed!Reader Part II
New Yearâs Edition
pop star!Reader
pop star!Reader II
PowerPointless Part II
Princess of Monaco!Reader
pr manager!Reader
protective!Reader
revenge era!Reader
royal!Reader
Sainz!Reader
scandalous!Reader
shameless!Reader
single mother!Reader
socialite!Reader
Vettel!Reader
widow!Reader
wife!Reader
Wolff!Reader
Wolff!Reader II
Wolff!Reader x Max Verstappen