I Hate Being The Token Gay, Because My Existence Is Always One That’s Celebrated Through Homophobia.

When talking abt Rin’s and Saes meeting after four years, I don’t see a lot of people talk about what Sae said to Rin about Spain

Sae changed his dream to being the best midfielder, him being the first to use the comment that he was “half-baked” and that Rin didn’t understand what it was like beyond Japan.

Sae is made out to be bitter and cold to Rin, and I agree that what he said to Rin was harsh, it’s clear from the flashbacks that Sae is very protective of Rin, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to switch on a dime.

Sae doesn’t want Rin to have the same dream as him, even saying in response that he should quit if his passion for soccer was reliant on Sae and him being the best.

The impression I got from Sae is that he doesn’t want Rin to follow his path, to live in his shadow because something happened in Spain that changed Sae and he doesn’t want that for Rin. Sae is saying not to follow him, to make his own path, that the one he’s on isn’t one he wants for his brother.

(Think of Itachi to Sasuke it feels like the exact same doomed sibling dynamic)

Sae is pushing Rin away, pushing away his soccer dream bc he doesn’t want him to do it for Sae, to do it in his shadow, because the path he followed isn’t one he should see.

And when we think about why Sae teamed up with Shidou and not Rin, the simplest way I can put it is it’s bc Shidou matched Saes freak. Shidou, for reasons we don’t know yet, is just as fucked as Sae (TRUST, they r the same freak different font)

Anyways….Sae isn’t a complete asshole, I mean yeah, he’s said some rough things to Rin but I think ppl r focusing on the wrong things in the reunion of the two brothers

Either way tho doomed siblings r gonna ruin me

Arcane has had me thinking about this dynamic of what I'd call "found siblings" or something like that.

The trope of "like brothers" or "like sisters" I feel is often translated wrong, or ends up becoming more romantic than inteneded is what I think is the neglect of the tie that makes siblings, siblings.

siblings are tied together by a large, fundamental simualrity that forever will tie them together, regardless of what life brigns them. Sharing the same parents intertwines two indivudals, as well as growing up in the same home, regardless of if you are related or not. This tie is a shared expeircne that shapes a persons deveolpmental years.

Also, what always makes me laugh a bit when I hear the line "they're like my brother/sister" or "We're like siblings" is the fact that most of the time, they NEVER act like siblings.

If you want to have to characters have this "found sibling" relationship, they need to be able to express anger, frustration, and a childish annoyance at the other. Siblings know that regarldess of how much they can be angry and hold a form of hatred for the other, at the end of the day, that person has been in their life so long that there are some things that that person will only understand. It's being close because this person knows too much about you, it's sometimes a resigned love. It's not talking to this person for weeks or months but still knowing every intimate and embarassing detail about how this person's tween years.

Now, I'm speaking from a biased standpoint, I'm not close with my sibling in the way in which we talk with one another every day and are best pals or something. But, they're someone I can call at the end of the day when I need help. We won't talk for a month but if I'm stuck in the ER again because of my chronic health condtion, they'll hang out with me the entire time just so i don't feel lonely.

To write characters that percive one another as siblings, they need to be characters that will always help the other out at the end of the day. They can hate one another, but still come when called. They argue, maybe they don't see each other for months because life just got in the way, but when they see one another, they go back to bickering like six year olds. Sibling dynamics are held together by the fact that they know far too much about each other to stop being friends without it being a liability.

Overall, I feel like what creates a great sibling dynamic is the resigned love both characters hold for eachother. It's an eyeroll and a sigh while reaching out a helping hand. It's disagreeing with all of their choices, but reluctantly saying yes to helping them anyway because at the end of the day, you know them too well, you've seen them at their worst and walking away just isn't an option.

Sometimes I lose my mind over the plot of Naruto bc 3/4 of it is just Naruto being like

“I NEED SASUKE HES MY HOME, THE OTHER HALF OF MY BEING. ”

Naruto went on record with full sincerity “give me your pain, I can bare it” to Sasuke like that isn’t the most loving, romantic gestures ANYONE could EVER do

And I’m supposed to just sit there and be like “oh cool, yeah, best pals”

THOSE BITCHES YEARNED, FAWNED, TORE THEIR SOULS APART FOR ONE ANOTHER AND IM SUPPOSED TO THINK THEYRE “best friends, like brothers”?????

….no.

No. They’re gay.

It’s so strange

I can never fully express what it’s like living with a tbi and the recovery, nothing ever sounds right, all the words feel wrong.

It’s like I’m transcribing a language dead and gone, all the words I have to say you don’t understand, you don’t have the words for what I felt, you don’t have any conjugations or phrases that equate to my grief. so I’m just left saying,

“It was bad”

This hurt (in a good way)

siblings doomed by the narrative

Something I wish was portrayed on tv more, or like at all is masc lesbian couples/ non binary lesbian couples. A lot of times on tv I feel as though lesbian/wlw relationships r still forced into hetero-normative dynamics of the “man and woman” of the relationship.

Like I want two masc lesbians who r goofy and awkward and aren’t afraid to be vulnerable, who may struggle with sexual intimacy bc of gender dysphoria, I wanna see a wlw couple that doesn’t just fuck on screen all the time, I wanna see cute cuddles, quick banter, silly arguing that you know they both don’t really mean. I wanna see a lesbian couple that helps one another with their gender expression bc GODDAMN BEING A LESBIAN FCKS WITH UR VISION OF GENDER.

I just want to see an awkward, silly, cute masc lesbian couple bc they exist. masc for masc lesbians exist, we r real and we r socially inept.

This is my pink pony club

My friend making their fursona:

Yeah I was thinking of just calling him dog, ya know? It’s cute and funny and it matches his silly little face and paws 🤗

Me:

They will be called The False Prophet for they are a fallen angel that has been banished into damnation for deceiving god and not trusting his wishes. I will dress in sacrilegious attire with horns and a torn back to showcase where my wings had been ripped.

the worms in my brain won today, here's a sukume sketch based on this reference photo

I want this tattooed on my brain NOW

“Those two things can exist at the same time. Like you said, it's all—it's all tangled up together, you and me.”

double page spread for one of my favorite luzo fics of all time, poly philtatos (the most beloved by far) by my good friend - @swordsmans!

I knew I wanted to do a double page spread the second I finished this fic and I drafted abt a dozen ideas before landing on what would ultimately become this. There were so many snippets and moments I wanted to illustrate but I ended up doing more of an abstracted version of the fic as opposed to 1:1 drawings of scenes 

funnily enough while the fic itself is told in zoros pov this spread is framed mostly through luffy’s eyes - his tears literally frame comp for their reunion, the moment he loses zoro, and the centerpiece of the first page which is this weird abstraction of him on the beach seeing zoros corpse-not-a-corpse in the waves just beyond his reach. 

gyro put the crane wives’ never love an anchor on the playlist for this fic which i heavily used as inspiration in picking ornamental things for the spread (the anchor, the fleet of ships by luffy, and the nautical rope splitting the second page). also just like. overall really heartbreaking lyrics guys 

there are smaller elements throughout the spread that are 1:1 references though (all i will say for these is if you know, you know hehe) i wish i had more time to do a lengthier piece for fanart for this fic bc it's one of the few luzo fics that have been rattling around in my brain forever now - once again please please please read poly philtatos if you haven't. gyro is a masterful writer and they deserve all the love! ok byeee