Doublelife! Desertduo Realness

to write on the wall

arise, hero / get up, yoo joonghyuk!

hiiiiiiiiiiii……. 🚦(WIP)

when orv makes enjoying it —> an integral part of the reader’s character

and on that note!!!! the reason i am so immediately put off whenever any fic or art or anything mentions how thin kim dokja is like. objectively kim dokja is a very thin and frail person removed of his powers this is mentioned multiple times throughout the novel. and this is obviously because he was very poor and didn't have the money to eat well. AND because he was very suicidal and a) did not care enough about himself to do things like cook himself nice meals or give a shit about his health. and b) could not envision a future where his poor treatment of his body would actually matter because he could not envision a future period. and it's also representative of how he had no one to teach him to eat well he was kicked out onto the street at 17 with no one to show him how to cook healthy enjoyable meals or to impress on him the importance taking care of yourself. the closest he had were the passages han sooyoung wrote in twsa to try and make him eat.

like his thinness represents how utterly alone he was and how difficult his life was and how little he cares about himself. so from that perspective its something i would usually like to see explored in orv fic. but instead i instinctively cringe at any mention of it because its almost always used as shipping fodder. its almost always used from a 'wow he's so skinny and frail and twinkish doesn't yoo joonghyuk just want to feed and take care of him and rail his flat ass simultaneously' and its like. sigh. if your perception of yoo joonghyuk is that he would be attracted to the idea that kim dokja is smaller and weaker than him sure i don't care its not my perception but it's a valid one or whatever. but if thats the only context you're willing to think or care about kim dokja's thinness i am biting and killing you with hammers.

its so representative of how aspects of kim dokja's character and story get reduced to JUST being joonghyuk's twink bf. im not saying your smutfic where yoo joonghyuk can reach his hands entirely around kim dokjas waist has to have a mediation on kim dokja's shitty childhood or whatever that would actually be worse but you have to CARE about it you have to think about it at least a little. all of your interpretations of his character are going to be shallow and boring if you've never thought about him outside of those shipping goggles.

A writer and her reader <3

Ty to @/princess-of-purple-prose for writing the alt text!

Yeah, sure I’ll keep drawing Gerry and I’ll be so normal about it

For context, Grian was doing wordle

Happy birthday Kim Dokja! Thank you for your story.

the text is the poem "If I Can Stop One Heart from Breaking" by Emily Dickinson

/ORV SPOILERS/

one thing i cant pinpoint about Kim Dokja is his view on himself. Its either he full on hates himself.

or

he has the causal disinterest in himself. Where, yeah he doesn't /hate/ himself. (dislike maybe?) but if he could be someone else that would be better. if he was a better person. wouldn't he be more lovable that way? like that odd feeling where you look at others and think...if only i was that funny/that good looking/ that popular... like its not full on hate but if you think about yourself for too long your self disgust starts to show. and you get sad and 'im so unlovable' (thinking of where all of kimcom talk around the fire about the house.. and kdj starts to question if someone like him deserves it... -hmmm ill have to go back and reread that to make sure thats true.) "wouldn't it be better if I was someone else?/I want to be someone else." > 49% <

on my reread i noticed the decline of his thoughts towards himself really starts to show during in the Demon Realm arc. Where his "I am Yoo Joonghyuk." habit is fully revealed. Which is super fucking sad actually. To have so little confidence in yourselves to the point where you need to act like someone else to speak up for yourself

banging my head against a wall... Kim Dokja i love you. im sorry for threatening to put you in a blender. please live a good life..