Hiiii,

Here, thinking about Kenyan’s state in the main story.

I need to decide if she’ll be still fighting or if she gave up already, cuz it’ll change A LOT of the story.

If she’s fighting:

She has no idea Ethan is in Martra.

Ethan will see her for the first time in an execution and she’ll look away

She’ll fight Sylris to know wth Ethan is doing there

She won’t know how to react if Ethan tries to talk to her personally

She won’t tell him the whole truth, afraid of burdening him with the problems she has been protecting him from.

Ethan will get mad at her, but will notice something is wrong

Hiélo will be there to explain things to Ethan

Ethan will try to save his mum, etc etc etc… next things are too much spoiler

Now, if she gave up:

She’ll ask Sylris to bring Ethan to Martra, so they can stay in family

She probably won’t be holding executions now that she knows he’s somewhere in Martra ☠️

She’ll look for him hard, and Behati will think Ethan is some kind of wanted criminal

Ethan is taken to the castle and “WOAH, MUM?!” and Kenyan will cry hard while hugging him

Sylris will be the utmost example of a great father, trust him

Kenyan will try to explain everything, but telling a filtered story where things don’t sound as bad as it was

Kenyan and Sylris will fight about whether revealing him as their son or not (Maivtre shouldn’t have a male child)

Sylris finds a way to make it valid and kinda forces Ethan to accept it

Ethan feels overwhelmed, etc etc etc… I don’t know what would happen next lmao

The first idea is in my mind since some time, but the second might be good too cuz it might confuse Ethan more. “What? My mum left me just to stay with my father?! And the reason she didn’t take me with her was ‘because it was too far away and in a strange/dangerous world’????”

THE POOR GUY JUST KNOWS SUFFERING

“What’s your body count?”

Hiélo: …many (LIAR)

Ethan: I dated some people, but it didn’t work.

Behati: Do you want to increase the count?

Kenyan: 2517+2. … Jk, Jk, LoL. ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ

Yuno: I only have one body?

Sylris: 30.

Maya: *confused shapeshifter noises*

I refuse to write. Instead, I’ll make thousand of these (until I get tired too)

There’s nothing better than drawing lazily without the responsibility of making a beautiful drawing ❤️

I haven’t talked about Maya here, cuz so far she only appears in the first chapter, but I’m planning to bring her back in the future. And she ended up looking like me because I never bothered to draw her, so I don’t have a perfect image of her—

And I’d say yes for Behati. That’s all I have to declare.

Martra’s Astronomy

Geez, that was me from the past trying to understand day’s duration in Martra (my fictional planet). What did I do here???? 😦

Before trying to explain, here are the “Moons” that work in Martra:

Marsulon (Big Moon): shines faintly, like a sunset or sunrise.

Divulon (Mid Moon): TOO shiny, scorching, very harmful for health

Nixulon (Minor Moon): like a black hole, total darkness no matter if there are fire or lanterns

So, APPARENTLY, the day has 21 hours. In this meantime, it goes like:

Marsulon: 10 hours

Divulon: 24 minutes

Marsulon: 10 hours

Nixulon: 12 minutes

Divulon: 24 minutes

In the first image there’s the ordinary routine for a Martran, but it may change depending on profession and species.

Now, you don’t ask me how I came up with this timing, cuz I won’t know how to explain it ☠️ I even searched a planet rotation simulator to understand it lol.

Behínji Sume Sohiel

Ad Xinie Maivtre — Ad Auvana Odabrani — Ad Mizae Iskatram

Translated, it means “Blessed be Sohiel. The Pure Maivtre, The Wise Odabrani, The Loving Iskatram.”

As I said some posts ago, Sohiel is the holy family of Martra. They are both religious figures and royalty as well. It’s something determined many ages ago, a culture deeply enrooted in the citizens.

The current lineage is Kenyan as Maivtre and Sylris as Odabrani; they're married.

Sylris is so handsome, gosh. Look at those lashes and hands.

That one meme, but they’re deranged 🫶🏽

Music

As I can’t post my incomplete narratives here, I’ll post random photos I took ✨

This is my keyboard in my room. Thanks dad and God for giving me it :)))

Btw, I have 4 songs I wrote a time ago. Should I show them here?

✨Drawings Timeline✨

The start of my career, 2018 and 2019! Apparently, this guy had lightning and water powers that works better when he cries; and the lady was a drawing I made with Instagram poll, I guess.

2020 and 2021, these were DTYIS. My mum gave me a ceramic with the first drawing printed on it, but I don’t like this drawing a lot cuz the shoulders are so tiny lol. And I specially love the light in the golden drawing 💖

2022 and 2023, I got obsessed with semi-realism. These two were personas in my self-insert stories. The first was to Miraculous and LWA, the second was to Marvel.

Finally, 2024 and 2025! Tbh, it was hard to decide on a drawing for 2024 cuz I tried a thousand different styles, but I guess this Elsa one was my pattern style. The same goes for 2025, and, despiste the painting is simple, the drawing itself is my style for now.

(Omg, they’re always in front angle or facing left ☠️)

Yuno Nearu

It is a drawing that I made in March 2024, and it is a redrawing from a drawing I made in December 2020.

I saw somebody on YouTube teaching how to paint with vibrant colors, but I don’t remember who it was, I’m sorry 💔 Anyway, it’s cool to see this drawing in black and white too.

(I never got high, just so you know. Don’t use drugs kids, Jesus feels better than it 🤙🏽)

CW: addiction, drugs, suicidal thoughts

AO3

< Previous Chapter

Shine

Sylris was right— again: punishing herself wouldn’t change the tragedy. If she had to do something, she should fight against his control and get herself back; luckily throwing him in flames by the end.

But she didn’t have the will to move, and this was crystal clear. She wasn’t that strong. She wasn’t that smart. She could never.

So if her options were to suffer consciously or unconsciously… she was back to the garden, to the quietest place on this planet. It was Nixulon time, and the nixies kindly built her a glowing path in the darkness. Other than this, all she could see was the pitch black engulfing everything.

Her steps weren’t hesitant, though; her skin worked like a sonar for her, warning when the humid air stopped hitting her. It meant a barrier was in front, and also that she arrived at her destiny.

She crouched carefully, until her knees were scraping at the wood, fixed her dress, and sat at the wet grass.

Then, she breathed.

Inhaling, holding, exhaling; trying to settle her mind down, trying to subdue the storm inside her. It was unrelenting, and she couldn't get a blink of sleep all night because of the truthful comments from her victims—their ghosts, actually.

She was almost convinced to set her room on fire. Another second in that place, and she would have.

But, silly as it was, what made her reconsider the action was the big panda on her table, the one brought by the “intruder”. She knew it was staring at her. As if waiting to see if she would be that stupid to fire everything.

Nobody found information about them, and the guards (coughcough Hiélo coughcough) said it might be dangerous, yet Kenyan still believed it was just a well played trick, and kept the panda to herself.

It had been useful for her, after all. It held her from going astray when she had to keep watch on Sylris. She knew that if she died, Hiélo and Ethan would be his new targets, and that’s why she had a vial on her hand, a syringe in the other.

Her tongue was heavy as she fiddled the plunger with her broken nail. It didn't make the slightest difference if she had her eyes closed or opened, such was the darkness, and there she was, planning to insert a needle on herself.

Argh, just what was she thinking?

She shouldn’t be doing that. She should be in bed. She should be inside.

The high she was about to get was pleasant, relaxing; but too volatile. She never knew if it would end peacefully, or if she’d get in a coma for days.

But if she doesn’t do something soon, she will truly go mad at any time. Three days up was irking her, and she couldn’t stand the feeling that someone was watching her all day. Objects were moving on their own, the walls were noisy, the words were walking in the documents, she was jittery than normal... Sylris himself asked if she was fine, and did her work in her stead.

So she had to do it. She needed to relax somehow.

Even if she promised them she wouldn’t do it anymore.

…

…Hiélo should have expected she’s not good at keeping promises.

She swallowed dry, and blindly inserted the needle on the vial, pulling the liquid inside, when it occurred to her: how would she measure the dose in the dark?

She could only hope her muscular memory would get the right amount.

…

Oh great evil, that was the worst idea she ever had. Couldn’t she wait some minutes until Nixulon went away? Until Divulon appeared?

No.

No.

If she extended it any longer, Hiélo would find her and stop that immediately. That's just who he is: too worried about her health, worried that she would get an overdose again, bothering her with thoughts about her actions, bothering her with thoughts about Ethan.

“How do you think he would react if he saw his mother like this? Would you be fine if it was your mother trying to kill herself?!”

“Ah, I don’t have to worry about it, Hiélo, because she’s way too dead by my own hands!”

She bit her lower lip and held the syringe firmer between her fingers.

She wouldn’t die. She still had things to pay for. This time she wouldn’t mess up, because she has to be awake later. Otherwise, she had it too easy on her life, and that was wrong.

C’mon, Kenyan.

She tried the syringe, standing her thumb over the needle to check if it was dripping. After the air was released, she brushed the crook of her elbow, feeling her hurried blood under her skin. Only then, she positioned the needle.

Curse it.

She was shaking.

Her eyes closed and she breathed deeply. Once again she did it. And once more, she couldn't calm her heart; her pulse was hammering in her ears. But if she didn't do it now, she never would. And she had to. She had to.

And maybe, a chance in a million, she could have the luck to don’t wake up anymore.

The needle slid in. A sharp breath. The familiar coldness rushed through her, creeping under her skin like a second bloodstream.

It didn't take long to disarm her muscles on the spot. Her lips and fingers tingled as the syringe slipped down like butter to the ground, and soon after, she was the one hitting the grass.

Holy sky. Spinning was wild.

Her lungs relaxed with the sudden lack of tension, and the oxygen got in so easily. Fresh, light, clean… did somebody turn on a purifier in the air? Her nose was very grateful.

However, her heart was having a hard time pumping blood around her body. Her heartbeats were fluctuating in weird places like her feet? It was also deafening her, shouting “Too bad! Too bad! Too bad!” like a cuckoo. Maybe it didn't like the “intruder”, just like nobody liked her intruder.

Much impolite of them, in her opinion.

Both intruders were nice to her. She was doing just fine with them, and wasn't disposed to shove them away just because a certain immunological system was displeased with it. Rot in mud, everyone displeased with it. She was fine. She would be.

A long sigh left her as a faint copper taste immersed on her tongue (her tongue? Did she have a tongue?). Very metallic, very common, very good. It was awesome. It meant she was drifting off. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice. Nice.

Nice.

Terrifyingly nice.

But… what was Sylris doing there?

Echoes of steps were approaching at the worst moment ever, but, fortunately, it wasn't Hiélo. His steps were heavy and careful. Now these steps were fast and jumpy, much more fitting of… of… Sylris… Sylris?

No, wait.

‘Sylris’ and ‘jumpy’ in the same sentence?

“You came to visit me!” A laugh sang clearly behind her. “I thought we'd never talk again; you disappeared for days, Keny!”

Her eyes hazily opened to see who it was and—cosmos!—, the shiny person was in front of her, shinier than ever, brighter than a lamp, standing on the black like a painting.

“I was getting bored, you know? Don't leave me alone with these untalkable Nixies! I don't know how to sign Nixian yet.” They were already lying beside her, smiling so wide she thought their cheeks would get stretched forever. “You can do it fluently, right? Could you teach me?!”

Kenyan blinked multiple times, and moved her hand to touch them. At least, that was the intention, but her fingers only twitched weakly in place.

They frowned slightly at her, as if just noticing her state, then slapped their forehead. “Ahhh, dumb me! It’s late; you were trying to sleep, right? Sorry for bothering, you can sleep now.” And they shut their eyes while keeping a smile on their face.

…was she supposed to sleep now, when they finally were there? She had questions, no desire to sleep! But her tongue was heavy, her lips, numb, and her mind couldn’t form a single coherent phrase to even start.

Ugh, appeared didn’t they early why? Were who they? Their what name was? Doing they what were here?

She tried organizing her thoughts, but nothing right was coming. These weren’t the things she wanted to ask, were they? It felt too serious and intrusive. Couldn’t she say what she really wanted to say? What she really was thinking?

“Hm? The panda?”

Their gaze turned to her like crescent moons, expecting she’d elaborate about it but… did she say something? She didn’t quite notice it…

“What?! Did you like the gift?!” They gripped her hand and kicked their feet, screaming repressed. “Yay! I’m so glad you did! I know you don’t like being alone, so I thought he’d be a nice companion for you when I wasn’t around! Ah—“ they gasped, “alas, why didn’t you come here earlier?!”

Why she didn’t?… But she did went there. Many times, different hours of the day, alone, with Hiélo, with Sylris… she tried everything, yet they weren’t there at all.

Her lips parted voiceless, trying to complain, but it only moved uncoordinated. At this point, a baby could communicate better than her. Insufferable!

“Uh, what did you say?” They pouted, thinking, then their eyes lightened up. “Ah, no! I don’t live in your head! Did you think I wasn’t real?” They laughed and put her hair out of her face. “I couldn’t be touching you if I was a… I don’t know, a hallucination? Did you think your wonderful brain would spend time creating a hallucination like me?! I’m flattered, but no! I am a hundred percent real, Keny!”

Her body trembled with their touch again. Too comfy and fluid, electrifying her nerves with soft discharges. She had felt touches from her hallucinations, but they never were gentle as theirs. As they said, her mind only had the capacity to create morally questionable stuff, and it wouldn’t be able to come up with such a nice person.

So what were they? Why couldn’t anyone see them? Why only her? Why only sometimes?

“Dude, it’s complicated.”

And how were they guessing her questions correctly?!

They giggled. “I didn’t mean to… read your mind? I can’t hear anything all the time—I swear!” Their hand laid on the grass. “It’s just that your intentions towards me are pretty blatant right now. I can, literally, feel them around me.” They gestured up frantically. “Like, waves? Lines? It’s confusing to explain, sorry! But I swear I’m not a bad person! I won’t use your thoughts for THE EVIL!” They roughed their voice villainously before blurting in laughter.

They weren’t bad?

That thought didn’t even cross her mind. This joyful, happy soul could never be evil. She was sure since the beginning they were… pure, in the most literal meaning of the word. Just pure.

Odd. She was smiling, but why?

When they stopped laughing, sweeping a tear out their eyes (by the way, what was so fun?), they rolled closer to her and held both her hands together. Their hands were feather light around hers, and their breath was warm against her face.

Why were they so close?

“Next time you want to talk, just call me, okay?”

“You?” she whispered.

“Me. Not you; call me. Me, me.”

She frowned slightly. “Why not… name?”

“Let’s say I have too many names and don’t know which to stick with.” They chuckled. “Just call me, and I’ll come no matter what, okay?”

“Okay.”

She agreed way too fast. Why wasn’t she questioning this weird person?

They smiled and hovered their hand over her eyes, making them close. “You should sleep for real. Rest a lot. I’ll keep here as you do, so don’t worry about being found or anything. You’re safe with me, Keny.”

It was like a spell.

She felt sleepy at the same moment, barely nodding before her conscience flew away.

Mercy

Participating in @comikbook ‘s DTIYS! Mercy is so beautiful, geez. I hope I got her right lol (the colors in my tablet were better 😞)

Also, just saying I admire your work a lot, wish you the best :))