Latest Posts by mikayuumouse - Page 2

good and cool and normal thoughts in my brain about sskk. as always

imagining them post-canon is always a time but right now I'm specifically thinking of ways they would show trust to each other. because they would absolutely, absolutely trust each other more than anything.

i have a few interesting thoughts on how they would show trust.

one is clothes as trust-- akutagawa's form of vulnerability. not wearing his coat around atsushi, or letting atsushi borrow it. not feeling the need to wear long sleeves or layers. being around atsushi means he doesn't need to be on guard, ready to tear somebody apart with rashomon in an instant. it doesn't feel like he's exposing himself to be killed if he wears lighter clothes, less clothes, no clothes at all. because being around atsushi is inherently safe to him.

one is food as trust-- atsushi's form of vulnerability. food was something he was rarely given as a child, and it's something that he wouldn't share. it's too precious. but he would get food for akutagawa, share food with him, save some of his own food for akutagawa to eat. and akutagawa would do the same. akutagawa isn't going to let him starve. he'll eat his part of a shared meal and let atsushi have his. if atsushi gives akutagawa some of his food, he trusts that some other day, akutagawa will give atsushi some of his. he doesn't need to live in fear that he won't eat again, because he trusts that akutagawa won't let that happen.

and lastly, rest. sleep. sleeping next to somebody is one of the most vulnerable things you can do, especially for atsushi and akutagawa, who were in danger throughout their childhoods. sleeping means you can be killed. sleeping means you are unaware. sleeping means you can be betrayed. to close their eyes, let alertness of their surroundings slip away, feel sure that the other won't hurt or kill them, maybe even that the other will hold them gently... that's the sort of trust they'd have.

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Becuase he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.

I just love this page. Atsushi realizes that he almost lost someone who he never took the time to understand. this boy, this stranger, who has burrowed so deep into his mind, who has been completely incomprehensible to him, who died for him, is, beneath it all, just like him. they're the same. they always have been.

its regret. about the words he's said, the wound's he's inflicted, the fact that he did not see the boy right in front of him. he walked away, a specter, misunderstood, never being told that its okay for him to live. okay for him to exist in this world.

for the first time, he thinks he understands akutagawa ryuunosuke and its breaking his heart. he's breaking his heart.

Okay but, Atsushi leapt forward. He was sliced from behind.

He should have fell onto his front, he should have been faced down when he hit the ground.

And yet, as he falls he somehow manages to turn over.

To turn towards Akutagawa, to keep his eyes on him and not the thing that just killed him.

His eyes that plead with Akutagawa to be safe, the hand that pushed Akutagawa away from danger still stretching towards him, are the last things to go.

With the last of his strength in the physical world, Atsushi fought to know he'd saved Akutagawa, fought for him to be the last thing he saw.

I can't get over the connection that Atsushi and Akutagawa have in this recent chapter. "Feel strongly" - and Atsushi sees Akutagawa's past. His heart is just so thoroughly connected to Akutagawa that it is the first thing he focuses on.

And then Akutagawa recalls the meeting with Dazai the moment Atsushi experiences it. So at least while Atsushi is in the four-dimensional space, they are connected on a deeper level than before, it's something like a mind-meld even.

Atsushi seeing what Akutagawa went through. What drove him. What he thought, how that changed over time, culminating in sacrifice.

This manga keeps inventing SSKK being soulmates with every chapter and I'm insane over it.

Right now is such a great time to be a bsd fan. I feel like we're currently getting everything I've been wanting and more:

Sskk are facing a conflict that only they can handle. Not skk, not Ranpo and the ADA. Only Atsushi and Akutagawa can pull off a battle against Amenogozen

A ton of information about Atsushi's role, abilities as the bookmark, and even his hallucinations

Atsushi gaining a better understanding of Akutagawa through not only finding out about his past but witnessing his memories of it from his perspective

Dazai-Headmaster parallels for daaaays

Akutagawa has not coughed once

This is all the culmination of so much. Sskk will truly come out of this stronger than ever and I am so so hyped for it

They should kiss

I have a hunch that Asagiri and Harukawa replay Akutagawa's death a lot in flashbacks as of late in the manga to justify for Bones' very very horrible adaptation of his death

illicit affairs - taylor swift

slut! - taylor swift

treacherous - taylor swift

Akutagawa out there facing the divine being alone… either atsushi does something from the inside to stop him or we get to see Akutagawa crash out of the century

Sskk reunion sskk reunion but seriously sskk reunion. They've been separated so long. Last time they met, Akutagawa died to allow Atsushi to survive. And then all the airport mess, and Akutagawa subjugating Jouno, and Atsushi being trapped by Teruko; and then they meet again, but it's not really them, Akutagawa is a vampire, he doesn't recognize Atsushi. They are in the same place, but they're not reunited. Then, Fukuchi dies, Dostoyevsky gets reincarnated in Bram, the airport is turned to rubble; Akutagawa is finally back, but he's still not here. Atsushi is still unrecognizable for Akutagawa. They're still separated. He fights Ame-no-Gozen, he loses, and Atsushi dies for him in turn. He dies for him, because Akutagawa's life is worth dying for even if he doesn't remember him. He dies for him, and Akutagawa gets his memories back, but it's a split second too late, Atsushi is gone already. They're torn apart again.

And it's softly excruciating? Two men being so intertwined and complementary, who only make sense as halves of a same whole, who can only know themselves when they are together, being violently taken apart for so long. Always on the verge of meeting, but unable to touch each other. It must be agonizing, unbearable.

Until Atsushi gets out of the fourth dimension. And he's immediately attacked by Ame-no-Gozen, and Akutagawa saves him. And Atsushi knew that Akutagawa was there, but he doesn't know– he doesn't know that Akutagawa is truly back this time. He tells him “Just the two of us?”, and doesn't know what to expect, doesn't know what he's allowed to hope for. And it's only when Akutagawa delivers the only right answer there there is to it, that Atsushi gets it: he's back. They're back. And he smiles!!!!!!! And he knows nothing else matters!!!!!!! They can face everything together!!!!!!! They faced death twice and they're still there fighting side by side. Isn't!! That!! Insane!!!!!!!!!!

you’re losing me - taylor swift

we literally saw his “oh….oh” moment it was just and then……AND THEN….

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

Boyfriends <3

remembered this line from Beast and now I have to kill myself

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon.

I will be honest with you, Akutagawa was very stressed and emotional last chapter just for him being all straight face no emotion "jinko" bs.

Can you share your thoughts on that?

Also where is the light in his eyes?! He had it last chapter too why did it disappear?!?!!??!

And if Harukawa is still following her “the characters get drawn more beautiful and human the more they understand each other” comment we are about to see an Akutagawa like never before

Look at his face. Look at his sorrow

The absolute most solemn look I've seen on Akutagawa, where he realizes Atsushi wasn't just some beast he could kill. Atsushi wasn't just an obstacle or a test, because Atsushi is human

Akutagawa sees that in him

I have no idea how Asagiri is gonna handle the end of the six months deal, knowing him it's going to be what literally no one could've expected, but the premise really interests me now. It always did beforehand, but still, now we know more about how Akutagawa feels about Atsushi. And Akutagawa doesn't know it yet, but Atsushi witnessed his past and trauma. They're bonded, connected and understand each other on yet another level now

And genuinely, I don't think Akutagawa can kill Atsushi

I need someone to rewrite all of Bsd in a fanfiction but where sskk is actually canon

Where all the VERY FREAKING ROMANTIC undertones are actually confirmed to be romantic and Atsushi and Akutagawa do love each other and like gdfhjgrvhkc idk that would be amazing, and probably similar to BEAST

I absolutely love the sskk (fic) dynamic where Akutagawa loves Atsushi yet he doesn't tell him due to fear

He holds in his feelings because of fear of rejection, fear of Atsushi hating him for loving him and losing Atsushi. Fear of losing the only person bathed in light in his life. Fear of losing his equal because of three words

I just think it's a beautifully tragic take on their romantic relationship, where Akutagawa loves Atsushi but he can't say it because what if Atsushi doesn't requite his feelings? Considering fanfiction though, Atsushi 100% loves him back, but yk

Akutagawa has experienced more loss in his life than anyone should, and the inner monologue of him being so scared to lose Atsushi or disgust Atsushi with his real feelings would make a great oneshot/fic

Seeing Akutagawa deal with alienating feelings like love for Atsushi is always so interesting to me

Absolutely gutwrenching choice they made when they showed us Akutagawa coming to the conclusion that he had to kill Atsushi, only to have that realization be directly followed by the most mournful and regretful expression Akutagawa can show. The authors of this manga love sskk so freaking much

He grabs his clothes when he's nervous/scared I'm gonna sob

I hope the person who made the post “Oda was holding Dazai's face in his last moment so that his ability could nullify his own and wouldn't have had to go through his dead twice” knows the thought haunts me every day

no one talk to me