Could You Guys Imagine If Snails Could Talk

the enormity of my desire disgusts me

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

what do you mean my maladaptive daydreaming is taking ahold of my life?? worry about yourself man

haha nice argument!!! prepare for war

divorce is so funny. like never mind

2019

listen he looked at me weird ok

who the fuck elongated my slug

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

i bet they would predict natural disasters if they could

could you guys imagine if snails could talk

i hope in my next life im the mourning dove in someone's childhood