I Don't Mean Any Offense Here, But I'm Not Sure It's A Good Idea To Call This A Trend? Like, 90% Of My

I go to school board & city council meetings regarding trans rights, and something I noticed is that almost every single transfem student who has gone up to defend their right to use the women's lockers & bathrooms has reported being sexually assaulted in school, often multiple times, by cis men & boys.

And yet, what is taken more seriously is the single cisgender girl who went up to speak about her discomfort with trans girls in the lockers & bathrooms. Not danger. Not harm. Not trauma. Discomfort.

The cisgender girl spoke about how she was not comfortable, wheras the transgender girls spoke of how they were not safe. I am somehow supposed to believe these are of equal severity? Eat a fucking brick.

fun fact! the coiner of the term transmysogyny supports a word for discrimination against trans men.

On the topic of trans men experiencing erasure and other problems that are not talked about, we should probably talk about when we actually DO get recognized and it's usually the white skinny trans men who get the most recognition. Which, is awesome and I'm not complaining because getting any recognition is a win. But we need to start also having our black poc, asian, native, hispanic, etc brothers in mind if you have not done so already. They have been erased from history even more than us. The same goes for the fat plus size men, the men who don't pass either because they can't or just don't want to (which is valid!), the men who can't transition or feel comfortable in their agab body (which is also valid), the men who are femme presenting, the men who are butch, men who are disabled etc etc.

Listen to when your black poc, asian, hispanic, native, etc men SPEAK. Listen to them. Listen to the men who are severely underrepresented in our community. Don't you DARE tell them to sit down or shut them out when speaking up about their experiences as trans men. If you see it shut it down immediately! That toxic shit is not safe in our spaces and we will not be quiet about it.

Keep our brothers safe!

When someone makes transition all about passing. Ok, if your goal is passability, good for you but don't force it on other people. I hear it all the time: "What is trasition fpr if not passing? What is the point?" Or "If you don't want to pass you aren't trans" True trans liberation can only be achieved when we stop attributing gender and sex to external characteristics, this involves dismantling the concept of passability. Even if "passing" was something easy that any binary trans person could achieve, what about us, nonbinary? How do we externally communicate we are polygender, ambonec, agender, maverique?

this is exorsexism.

So much pointless LGBT+ discourse could be avoided if people just stopped assuming they knew everything about the oppression OTHER identities face.

For example, if you’re nonbinary, you can absolutely talk about the struggles you’ve dealt with as a nonbinary person, and speak of the issues your community is dealing with. But if you’re not transfem, it’s not your place to comment on how transfem issues compare to your own.

And if you’re a trans woman, you should absolutely not be talking about how trans men “have it easier” or what transitioning is like for them, because you fundamentally don’t know! You’re not a trans man!

And it goes both ways- trans men shouldn’t speak on trans women’s issues! Binary trans people shouldn’t claim to know what it’s like to be nonbinary!

It even hearkens back to older varieties of discourse, like ace discourse. You saw non-ace people talking about what THEY thought being ace was like, because they believed that being LGBT+ themselves made them the arbiters of oppression.

Or hell, gay men claiming that lesbians had it sooo easy compared to what they went through! Like, man, how the hell would you know, you're not a lesbian!

Just. Stop! Stop talking about the assumed experiences of other people! Being one flavor of queer doesn’t mean you’re the expert on ALL queer oppression! LISTEN to other people, stop talking over them!

I think if people accepted this, 90% of stupid online identity discourse would vanish overnight.

please vocally support the trans men/mascs in your lives

if you see someone say misandrist or transandrophobic shit, shut that shit down

i know it is so fucking difficult for us to voice our discomfort regarding those topics because we are afraid we will be told to shut the fuck up, to stop being misogynistic or transmisogynistic or whatever the fuck else to distract from the problem which is people feeling emboldened to freely voice these things that wound us even more than we've already been wounded by oppression and bigotry

shut that shit down whenever possible

make spaces that are safe for us to be in

it is so fucking important to do this right now

show us that you care about the feelings of the trans men/mascs in your life, show us that you value our safety, show us that we mean something to you, show us that you consider us human and deserving of basic human respect

dont let this hatred keep festering and driving us out or into the ground

It's scary to be transgender in the world right now but if you're transgender I love you and we have to stick together and keep fighting and keep living and keep loving

Trans friends

This week I

1. Cried

2. Snapped at the wrong people

3. Doom scrolled

4. Stress ate

5. Been angry/scared/depressed/sad/confused

This week I have also

1. Hung out with my best friend

2. Made snacks with some adults and other teens in my community while we talked through our shared fears

3. Danced it out

4. Played with my baby siblings

5. Been hopeful/happy/joyful/embraced community

The next four years are going to be hard. There will be stress, and there will be fear, and there will be uncertainty. There will also be resilience, and community, and love. There will be a hundred thousand tomorrows to come where trans people will continue to exist in the face of everything the world throws at us.

You are not alone. None of us are alone. Reach out to your community, there is always someone who is willing to listen. Find your joy. Make your joy. Just be here, we’re all better off for it.

I’d rather be considered the ‘wrong’ kind of trans man by being authentically myself and happy, than suppress/kill off the parts of myself that other queer and cis people think are ‘evil’ to earn a ‘one of the good ones’ badge that they’ll strip me of at any hint of noncompliance to their whims.

"terfs love cis women and thats why they love trans men/mascs"

those are not the same thing unless you yourself think they are worstie <3