Speirs: I'm Very Focused.

Malarkey: *running and yelling into the barracks* HEY! HEY!

Lipton, whispering: shhh Doc is finally asleep

Malarkey, whispering: sorry, my bad...

Lipton, whispering: so what’s up?

Malarkey, whispering: there’s a fire

idk but babe/chuck/liebgott is an underrated buddy trio and a social media au with them would really butter my crumpets

this is such subpar chaos i’m so tremendously sorry lmaooo i hope you found some joy in it though :( thank you for the request i love this group so much !!! i hope you’re having an amazing day <3

stuffed animal: *has fur covering its eyes*

shifty: *gently fixes it*

shifty: now you can see

shifty powers: im a simple fellow. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour.

Nix: Dick, I am not in denial.

Dick: Yes, you are. You're just denying you're in denial.

Nix: Dick, honey, I am not denying I'm in denial.

Dick: If you're not denying you're in denial, then you're in denial.

Nix: Look, fluffhead. Why should I deny being in denial? I never said I was in denial, YOU are the one who said I was in denial, and don't you deny it.

Some memes picked freshly off the Lieutenantaceface vine

+ a Reaction image

Ooh prompt idea: for the ships, who is the one who fills the bathroom with bath, skincare and hair care products and who is the one who uses one product for everything?

oh gosh, this one is too easy, because you  k n o w  who the divas are

WINNIX

when they first move in together, dick is honestly baffled.

how many bottles of cologne can one man have?  they’re all different scents?  he’s not even sure nix shaves every day, how and why does he have so many creams?

nix likes to smell nice, okay.  when you’ve got alcohol literally leaking out of your pores, you’ve got to put in effort not to walk around reeking like a distillery.  it helps that he’s got contacts with this cologne company in paris, and his sister is a bit of a beauty guru who’s constantly gifting him products...

he’s got a collection, okay?   dick has some hair creme and cologne for special occasions, but that’s it.  he doesn’t know what 90% of the things in their cabinet are, and at this point, he’s afraid to ask.

SPEIRTON

speirs hoards hair products.  this...  shouldn’t be a surprise.

lipton didn’t know what conditioner was before meeting speirs.   with all due respect, his hair isn’t the most...  luscious.   all he’s really done before was shampoo it, wash it out, and comb it back.  lip is a ‘meticulously-organized-bathroom-cabinet’ person, not a clutter person.

thankfully, speirs is very organized too.  he color-codes his clutter, so it’s not a big deal.

lipton has a shampoo he’s committed to, a toothpaste he’s used for years, and a cologne he bought ages ago and has worn...  maybe twice.

speirs likes to experiment with different brands and different scents.  it’s all very manly.  he was tempted to buy cherry blossom-scented soap once, just because it smelled gorgeous; he only refrained because it was obscenely overpriced.

BABEROE

babe gets so used to living with his bathroom cabinets overflowing with crap  ---  none of it his  ---   that when bill moves out, taking his many male beauty products with him, it’s a little jarring.

the bathroom cabinets look...  lonely.

it doesn’t help that gene’s, like, really minimalist.  he’s been using the same brands for years, and they suit him just fine.  his four bathroom products, added to babe’s five, and their cabinets are...  pretty damn depressing.

since neither of them are really the “cologne and hair gel” type, babe’s at a loss.  they have to fill it with something...  so, when he’s helping his mom clean out her attic one day, and finds a box of action figures from his childhood, he gets an idea.

gene opens the cabinet the next morning to be met with...  a dozen mini superheroes, and a handful of gi-joes.

and babe’s just getting started.

their cabinets are full of clutter, but none of it’s actually useful.   trinkets babe picked up at the dollar store, cool stones gene found, spare change, little gifts gene’s pediatric patients make him...   they have the most colorful bathroom cabinets, and both are very happy with the chaos they find inside every morning.

WEBGOTT

oh my god, have you seen both of these mens’ hair???  

they need product galore.  they hoard the stuff.  liebgott’s got the silky-smooth texture, but web’s got volume, and they both have their own brands of shampoo they’re committed to.  (web’s smells like kiwi; lieb is a honeysuckle guy.  honestly, they both use womens’ shampoo, and they’re not ashamed of it.)

web also has so much body wash that he frankly Does Not Need.

their shower racks are overflowing, and don’t even open the bathroom cabinet.  weirdly enough, lieb takes better care of his skin than web  ---  he’s constantly nagging web about getting sunburned while out on his boat at all hours.  lieb works hard to look good, and if that means exfoliating cream, he’ll use it.

LUZTOYE

so, neither of them are big on beauty regimes.  joe’s very smart about his deodorant, and takes care of his hair, but he doesn’t go overboard.  george’s hair is more floppy, and one of his sisters is a stylist, so she’s taught him how to take care of it; he’s a got a few shampoos-and-conditioners cluttering the shower, and one always manages to fall on joe’s foot when he’s in there.  whoops.

they’ve also got apricot scented shaving cream.  it was a gift from joe’s oldest sister.  they think it was a joke, but it’s actually great, so they both use it.

and like...  look.  listen.  george got dragged into doing face masks with his sisters once, and now he can’t get enough of them.   his skin is glowing, joe, look at that  ---   his pores can breathe!  it’s liberating!  it’s a miracle!  he’s got a few masks in the drawer, and sometimes if he’s home alone he’ll throw one on after a shower.  joe refuses to be dragged into it as a matter of principle.

Ronald “Ron” Speirs

The Real Ronald Speirs

Ronald Charles Speirs was born April 20, 1920 in Edinburg, Scotland to Robert and Martha Speirs. Hitler was also born on April 20, a few years earlier. Speirs knew this fact and he liked to joke about it later in life. His father was a Scottish Engineer. Speirs and his family moved to the United States during the Great Depression. According to Ancestry, he had an older sister Dorothy and an older brother Robert.

 He grew up in Boston, attended high school there, took drill during school and Citizens Military Training Camps during the summers. He graduated in 1938. Not much is known about his childhood.

He was originally drafted but was given two months to finish extension courses. He was on active duty at Camp Shelby, Mississippi. He volunteered for the Airborne. Speirs was one of the original Toccoa men under Sobel. 

When Easy traveled to England, Speirs traveled to Winchester to set up a camp for another Infantry division. There he met a British widow serving with the British Army’s Auxiliary Territorial Service division. They were married and had a son, Robert, soon after.

The woman’s husband had been presumed dead after disappearance. He was actually being held as a POW. He showed up towards the end of the war. It was eventually decided that she and Speirs would split up and she would return to her former husband. During the HBO, Speirs is seen rummaging through loot to send back to his wife and son. This seems to be accurate, according to other veterans. Speirs kept contact with his son throughout his life. His son would eventually become a major in the Royal Green Jackets Regiment. Speirs would visit his son and his three grandchildren in England later on in life.

Speirs jumped into Normandy with D Company on D-Day. His company would serve heavy losses. Speirs was injured in the face and knee by a grenade. He was taken back to England to recover from his injuries before returning to his unit before they jumped into Holland.

In Holland, Speirs was the Intelligence officer for Colonel Robert Strayer and his battalion. One night, Speirs had the Neder Rhine by himself to locate where the enemy was. He was spotted and the Germans opened fire on him. He dove into the water but had been struck by a bullet in his butt (what would become known as the million-dollar wound). He swam back to shore and was later found, wounded and too exhausted to move from the shore. He brought back critical information and was given the Silver Star for his mission.

He was sent to recover once again and later rejoined Easy in France before Battle of the Bulge. He wrote a letter to Stephen Ambrose about his experience in Bastogne. “There had been an attack through the trees before we arrived and they caught a number of Germans. The bodies were frozen, so there was no stench. I turned one over, an artillery forward observer, and found an excellent pair of binoculars around his neck…….We had one firefight where a platoon sergeant was killed next to me…..He fell into my arms, but was dead. There was nothing I could do for him.” In another letter to Winters, Speirs writes: “He fell in my arms without a word, probably feeling nothing. Those are the guys I think about 50 years later- why them and not me?”

In Foy, Easy company was under the command of Captain Dike Dike was considered to be similar to Sobel, but not as tough. He had reportedly “scurried off like a scared rabbit” after the blasts that took Guarnere and Toye started. Dike was the man to be leading the assault across an open field to face the Germans. Winters went through all of his instructions once more and Easy moved out under a covering fire that left them covered in heavy smoke.

Their attack was soon dissolving into chaos. Dike froze behind haystacks and was refusing to lead. Winters, aware of the risk of putting Dike in charge, had decided to watch their assault. Speirs was next to him for an unknown reason, watching this all go to chaos. Winters, angrily grabbed his gun, and declared “I’m going!” to seize control of Easy once more. He had barely moved when he whirled around and instead told Speirs to “take over that company and relieve Dike and take that attack on in.” 

Winters had not prepared to pick Speirs, he just happened to be at the right place at the right time. Winters later recalled he was glad it was Speirs, who he respected as a combat leader. Winters had heard the rumors of Speirs and his killer instincts but Dike needed to be removed. 

Speirs raced off to aid Easy Company. He reached the haystack, shouted at Dike, and took command of Easy. Speirs then raced across open area to locate Easy’s other flank and reorganize them. Germans opened fire on him as he crossed there lines. Once he arranged the company, he raced back through the German lines. 

Regarding his personality, many rumors flew about Speirs and his violence. Winters regarded him as a killer, Malarkey didn’t like him much because of how violent he could get, and he soon developed a nickname “Killer”. 

Most of the Easy Vets respected him as a combat leader. Many of the men feared Speirs. Although he was respected, it is said some men didn’t like his strict rules and discipline He was dedicated to doing the right thing and was often fearless in the heat of battle. Speirs wrote in a letter to Winters in 1992 that he didn’t expect to survive the war, so that might have fueled his actions as well. 

The stories of Speirs’ and his violent streak toward his own men. It was rumored he shot a sergeant because he was drunk. While Speirs did not deny shooting the man, Winters later wrote that the shooting went beyond being drunk. The sergeant had ignored a command from Speirs to halt twice. The men were under heavy fire near Saint Côme-du-Mont. Orders were to halt due an artillery attack planned on the city where German were. The men were to follow up the artillery attack. When the sergeant didn’t stop, he was risking the lives of the men. Speirs took out his gun and shot the man. Some veterans told that the sergeant had even threatened Speirs with his gun drawn.The man died the the next day in battle so no official report could be carried out. 

One of the most famous stories following his name, there was the incident of Speirs and the POWs on D-Day. There were no eyewitnesses that would confirm the story. Many stories like this have been recorded but it is not sure if Speirs was a part of these numbers for certain. 

After the battle of Foy, “Sparky” Speirs remained in command of Easy until the end of the war. He was the longest commanding officer of Easy. One of the memories from Winters was of Speirs in Berchtesgaden, taking one of Hitler’s staff cars with the bullet-proof windows for a joy ride.

When the war ended, Speirs continued to serve with the Airborne, just not the 101st. He was placed with 187th Airborne Regimental Combat Team during his service in Korea. He commanded a rifle company during a jump in Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea. 

After the Korean War ended, Speirs served at Fort Bragg, North Carolina as a military secretary for the 18th Airborne Corps Commander Major General Joseph Cleland. 

In 1956, Speirs learned Russian in California before being assigned to Potsdam, East Germany to work as a liaison officer with the Soviet Army. He later became the US governor of Spandau Prison in Berlin in 1958. Spandau held many Nazi war criminals, including Rudolf Hess, Hitler’s deputy. Hess and Speirs would meet almost daily, seemingly gaining a respect for each other.  Not much was said about his duties in the Korean War, with the Soviets, or in Spandau. Speirs would never talk much about these experiences. 

In 1962, Speirs was a training officer in Laos, Southeast Asia, with a government mission with the Royal Lao Army. Finally, Speirs worked in the Pentagon as a plans officer until he retired with the rank of lieutenant colonel in 1964.

Around 1984, Speirs met a lady named Eloise. She had recently been widowed and her three children lived far away from her home California. She met Speirs at a singles square dance and in November 1987, they were married. Her son, Marv, did not know Speirs well at first but grew to love his step-father after the couple started spending more time in Montana, where he lived. Marv’s brother and sister had children, along with six children with his wife, leaving Speirs to become a grandfather and great-grandfather eventually. His grandchildren would take him on walks, attack him with hugs, and he would do whatever they wanted. 

His family did not know the details of his long military career and he would blame it on his failing memory. It was said that while his later actions blurred together, World War 2 would forever last in his mind. 

Speirs traveled to the premiere of Band of Brothers in France with his wife in 2001. Speirs wasn’t planning on going but his wife told him she was going with or without him, and he chose to go. When reading about how his actions would be displayed in the show and if he was worried, Speirs replied, “I’m eighty-one years old, what can they do to me now?”

This photo was the first time Winters and Speirs had seen each other in fifty-five years. 

After the event, Speirs started opening up more about his wartime experiences. He even met his granddaughter’s husband, a cadet at West Point who had taken an interest in Speirs. Within their one hour talk, Speirs opened up more about his experiences than he ever had. Perhaps it was to share the experience with someone who was just starting a military career, we may not know why he shared so much but Speirs was able to recall a lot more than his memory knew he had. 

Sadly, even legends come to an end. Speirs last years were rough and he struggled with health issues. He was not officially diagnosed but it is believed he died of Alzheimer’s. His last months were painful to everyone and the family was on call 24/7 to care for him. 

Speirs died April 11, 2007. He was almost eighty-seven years old. 

Winters: We’re a perfectly normal family

Luz: *playing 7 nation army with forks hitting the piano*

Liebgott: *setting David’s clothes on fire*

Roe: *praying in the corner while Babe tries to “cut” his hair*

Winters: Yep! Perfectly Norma-! LEWIS NIXON PUT DOWN THE VODKA ITS 11 IN THE MORNING

Richard Winters and Lewis Nixon, Camp Toccoa 1940s, colorized