oh, so many.
the horrible memory, little recollection of anything more than a week ago, finding things we didn’t remember doing, the huge gender and sexual fluidity & dysmorphia, going from extremely anxious or depressed to calm, the internal dialogue and arguments, the intense fictionkinning and rapidly changing opinions. we mistook two alters for our left brain and right brain. plus more probably
80 notes
question 95: do you think there were "signs" of your plurality before you officially discovered it (if that applies to you)? what were they, if you dont mind sharing?
wait that ISNT what it means???
Parents think it's a sin for their children to disobey them. Parents think it's okay to assault their children in order to instill the fear of God in them.
Those parents are prime examples of using the lord's name in vain. But they don't want their children to know that. So they instead invent some bullshit definition.
wAIT OK i just realized in my dissociative haze how bad that might sound to someone. but because our chronic pain and stress, this is like one of the most minor things that could happen. and twisted foot doesn’t hurt too bad so like this is the best outcome tbh
Hi guys! How is your life at the moment? Everything is going well, I hope.
hey there! thanks for sending in an ask! all things considered especially due to our current situation and hyper vigilance and such, not too bad. we have a bit of a headache along with a twisted foot, a never-ending appetite, some nausea, and just the usual amount of joint pain with it being a little worse in our back, but all things considered, we’re doing pretty good and we’re still able to function (that’s a fucking win)! thank you for asking. :)
dude i fucking hate being stuck with these people i cant do anything and we just keep squaring like give me time out... hosts are literally nonexistent and like i feel like i have no control over what i can do anymore in the meat world because of these strict ass control freak mfs and it pisses me off.
anyone else have a bitchy fucking council of higher ups....... like who are assholes...
yep ! we used to, but it apparently wasn’t useful for our system so we no longer function that way. basically, its just a shit ton of fragments switching in and out, rarely consistent. we just randomly appear and just have little to no discernible identity.
are there any other systems that don’t have a host? just have a few alters that front more frequently? and usually that group of alters rotates over time
none of us identify with the body, none of us are the host, non of us hold a “host like” role
non of us feel like the “main alter”
we’re all just piloting a meat mech and there is no captain
-bennett
IM SORRY WHAT
the random urge to run into the woods bc we think we can survive and it’s better than here is always a fun one.
What it feels like waking up dissociated:
–John
having to figure who you are right now is like playing "guess who!"
like mf just tell me who i am i shouldnt have to weed out who i am
cr: @kodaswrld (lace dividers), @boxx-town ('this collective is always open to making friends!'), @zero-templates (‘this system's alters front together'), @forrest-system-userboxes ('this system is often blurry')
hey! we're a nameless did system! this is sort of here as a recovery blog, and also to share our experiences, including ones that may be more disturbing and less talked about in this community- we're endo-friendly and neutral about most things- you do your own thing, but just don't involve us in the discourse. ^^
those who intend to involve this blog in syscourse or make it an unsafe place for systems of all origins and communities, please block us. - your opinions are valid, but this is meant to be a safe space for *all* systems. you may follow this blog if you don't believe our beliefs, but please keep those opinions to yourself unless requested. any hate comments or blogs will be blocked without notice. we're often blurry and co-con, so there often won't be any sign-offs of any sorts, but we try our best... also please don't mind our forgetfulness and lack of responses at times. we're busy, have heavy amnesia, and are physically and mentally disabled.
any triggering topics we may bring up shall be spoilered properly for those who are not in the correct headspace to read that type of content, but please be mindful that we will *not* censor our experiences. we will talk about them. it's your choice whether or not to read them. (**note: while we try our best to spoiler triggering topics properly, we don’t have the greatest of what may be considered triggering besides a few widely known ones due to desensitization. if something should require a tw that we haven’t added, please inform us promptly.**)
This intro is in the process of being reworked. Information may not be accurate.
Just to throw this out there
it was not and is not your fault they groomed you (yes even if you were seeking it out.)
it was not and is not your fault they abused you (yes even if you weren’t the best person at the time.)
you are a survivor not an abuser sweetheart
if you ever need anything my DMs are open
and yes this is a post made half for ourselves be self indulgent <33
(they/them)disordered systemi don't care what you label yourself as, it's not my business. just keep the fucking discourse off this blog.
163 posts