TIMELESS

Lone Warrior

summary : reader is put into emergency foster care after a tragedy , despite living with the Wayne family for a bit , reader takes it upon herself to move away and start anew since she clearly wasn't welcomed , after many years have passed Damian finally joins the family and after a particular spat w his father he finds himself in reader's room and an interest in them has sparked.

a/n : this story is a wip ( work in process )

part 2 , part 3

Reader's POV

Beginning

Everyone knows biologically , a child needs a father and mother to come into existence . Growing up I had exactly that , a mother and a father . I had what many would consider a good childhood , a mom who brushed my hair everyday before I went to school , a mother who would have prepared meals and would have read me several stories . I had a father who would pick me up everyday and let me get a treat from the nearby parlor everyday after school. We certainly weren’t rich but we had enough to make do and I was content with it - I was content with my life until life struck.

My mother got laid off from her job - it was some run down mill cashier job at an old mechanics pit stop but it brought in money no matter how grimy the place was . I remember my younger self sat in front of the television when it was broadcasted - Joker , Prince of Gotham held three hostages at gunpoint in the shops and sadly despite Batman’s efforts , one hostage suffered a car falling onto their legs - crushing them instantly - the news anchor panned their camera onto the car and how it’s green front bumper was smeared in crimson blood.

Since then mom had been home while father went to work . It was fun at first , we had dinner earlier than usual , mom started back sewing and she even took up gardening since she loved planting tomatoes in our backyard garden . Everything was good but gradually - mom began feeling trapped like a bird in a cage . It started off slow - mum and dad arguing every night after dinner , sneering at each other as they walked past one another . It evolved into dad sleeping on the couch and mom sleeping in their bed . I was young and too naive - I assumed like the silly little girl I was , that mum and dad were just arguing about the dishes in the sink.

One day, it got extremely bad. It was a Tuesday morning and I had ran into mum’s arm’s , comb in hand, waiting for her to brush my hair like every other morning but instead she screamed at me to get out of her face . I ran away, of course, crying and brushing my own hair since then. Every day since that point had been utter agony - mother grew even more distant - began shouting , screaming at everything and everybody .Every day was a new struggle , she had no luck finding a new job, and there was no luck of her getting any better .

One day , dad just hugged me before he left out the front door . He kept muttering ‘sorrys’ and ‘i love yous’ and he kept weeping . I recall hugging him back , telling him it was okay, and he just smiled at me and left . He hadn't come back since. Mother grew furious that night, and for the first time - she screamed at me , blamed me , cursed me , cried about how I ruined everything, and then she choked me . I remember my young , frail body clawing at her tight grip desperately - pleading with her to let me go, but she didn’t let up . She kept squeezing me, and I remember going in between conscious and unconsciousness - I remember hearing police sirens blazing in front of our house.

I don't remember anything after that point . Memories were all a blur, but I recall a police officer handing me off to Mr. Wayne at his porch step. I remember the look of uncertainty, the look of pain and burden flashing in his eyes when he looked down on me . I remember him holding me by my elbow and guiding me through his foyer until he reached his butler.

I watched them both converse , the butler glanced at me every other moment. Eventually , Mr. Wayne leaves me alone with the butler and returns deeper into the mansion. The butler smiles down at me, though, and I just looked at him as he guides me down some halls and into a room.

It's been a full week , I've only ever known my room , the garden, and school. I haven't met anyone besides Alfred - the butler and my teachers. Alfred kept assuring me that I had brothers who would love to meet me and that my 'dad' , Mr.Wayne was busy, so I should bear him patience.

I hadn't really cared about Mr. Wayne's absence , as far as I considered my father, was out there somewhere and had left me, and I had no interest in having siblings. I hadn't told Alfred any of that, though - I had been silent since I had arrived here . Two weeks passed, and Alfred introduced me to someone named 'Ricard' , Mr. Wayne's eldest .

This Richard had given me a tight-lipped smile and a half hug that I didn't reciprocate . I could tell he felt uncomfortable and forced, and I respected his boundaries because I would of reacted the same way if I got introduced to my new supposed 'sibling' .

Alfred had told me that Richard lives away and visits when he can since he too has work . Since then, I haven't met anyone . Maybe if you count seeing Mr. Wayne walking in and out the foyer then maybe .

Months passed, and it's been the same process - I wake up , scarf down whatever Alfred makes , go to school , come home , sleep, and repeat. Now and again, Richard may perhaps drop by, but our meeting were just exchanging pleasantries before we go our own ways.

I was still mourning my parents. It's weird to mourn when they aren't dead. Today I had I.T class , meaning I had access to a laptop . Using what minimum sites I could , I dug up that my mother was admitted to Arkham asylum and was deemed ' mentally unstable ' . It's weird seeing her in that old , grimy straight jacket and her worn hands in silver cuffs . It's weird that she is the same person who used to bake me fresh cookies when I was sad and used to so attentively braid my hair everyday - It's weird to know that somehow my pure , kind mother somehow turned into what she is.

I hadn't found out nothing about my father - reports just suggested he moved to another city or somewhat - some speculated he manipulated her into the abuse - but I knew my father went far away to start a new life - a new life that hadn't involve me .

It stings every time I think about that, though , that my dad thought I was so much of a burden he had to leave me to start anew . A part of me loathes him - wants to tear him out , another part of me wants to cry and scream ' how could he ', but the biggest part of me has already grown numb to everything around me and has accepted the fact that it's better off being on your own.

Months continue to pass on - nothing really changed , I haven't 'bonded' with anyone at the mansion , Alfred keeps making excuses for their wariness and coldness. I discovered through him that recently, one of Mr.Wayne's children , Jason, had recently passed due to a mishap with the Joker . He hadn't gone into full detail, but I understood the pain and grief - the pain of losing your loved ones and having to bury them.

Days blurred into one another, but as recently, I have been seeing advertisements for a youth camp. It's new to be supposedly based in Russia and aims to teach children survival skills, and for some odd reason, it called out to me . I became further intrigued when on one particular evening , my English teacher pulled me across after class and handed me a pamphlet for it , I remembered her saying " I thought ...maybe you can use this Y/N maybe they can help you " . I remember taking it home and staring at it for a good while.

That same day - apparently we got a new member to the family named Tim , I saw him walk in the foyer , Mr. Wayne's hands practically draped over his shoulder with a proud 'dad' smile on his face . I exchanged pleasantries with both, but the Tim guy was giving me a dirty look .

After that night , after careful consideration, I decided to join this youth camp but in order to do so I would of course need money so that very nigh I applied to some jobs . A week passed since Tim and I didn't really get along . He kept glaring at me, and I just kept ignoring him .

Apparently he didn't like that and one morning when I was leaving for school he pulled me across and with a nasty snare said , " can't believe Bruce and I bust our asses every night protecting the city and people like you get to squander away - you know for someone who uses so much of Bruce's resources I don't understand why he hasn't gotten rid of you ".

I slapped him in response and walked out - I won't and don't tolerate shit - especially from someone so far up their ass . Alfred walked in on us in the foyer and began lecturing me on the spot, but I had a cold, hard look - challenging him . Alfred just tutted and carried us both to school.

Yes - apparently, this Tim person goes to the same school as me, and I had to listen to him nag Alfred about it on the way there . I rolled my eyes - seriously, he sounds like an entitled brat . Alfred dropped us off . The moment Tim stepped foot in school lots of kids approached him - probably because it was publicly known he was a Wayne , I on the other hand wasn't- hell I didn't even take his name I still kept my father's surname .

I left him and continued my day like normal, and after school, I went to my waitress job on the block. It's a quaint little cafe waitress job . It was nice and had good pay, so I wasn't too bothered. Of course, a week into my job and Tim had to already cause a scene .

The brat had to walk in with his group of little friends and had the audacity to demand I get them a table . I sat them down, took everyone's orders, and this man had to order some complicated shit with absurd add ins. Why order expresso and complain it's too bitter ?? Why order no flat decaf when decaf is already flat ? Why , when I explain to you , you snare at me .

The brat even had the audacity to say ' I was embarrassing the family by working here ' . I stepped on his foot, causing him to flinch and whispered to him , " Frankly I don't give a fuck what you or anyone thinks or has to say - you can frankly kiss my ass and see if I could care " and walked off .

He didn't leave a tip sadly and walked out of there with a nasty glare . I came home that evening and met Alfred, leaving out my dinner in my room , " Master Wayne restricts you joining dinner tonight since you are behaving too violent." I just gave him a look . For one pathetic of Tim to tattle to Daddy darest - another many reasons why I don't want siblings and secondly I've never joined anyone at dinner , I live and breathe in this room and unless the mansion is burning down I won't leave it to go anywhere unnecessary.

Months like this pass , Tim and I glaring at each other. Occasionally, Richard stops by to check on Mr. Wayne, or simply hang out with Tim and I was steadily saving money to go to this youth camp.

On my final day , I paid off for the youth camp registry and began packing my things - I simply began packing my clothes , I left behind any things deemed unnecessary like my record players , little nicks and knacks friends gifted me , the very painful photos of my parents and I and the home sewn clothes I once made in tech Ed.

Everything held very little value to me here , especially since I wanted a fresh start there . I packed my bags that night and left without a trace. Downtown Gotham was dangerous but had useful people for the wrong things. I carefully knocked on a banged up door and waited .

I heard a latch move itself and a wrinkly , obese man peers through at me . " What you want, kid?" he grunted . " A passport and a straightway ticket to Russia tonight," I say monotonous. He stared at me for a moment and left . Moments pass and he returns and slips me a passport and a ticket . I let our a small grun before slipping a $100 dollar bill in the latch before taking off in the night.

Training

Russia was cold - but for some odd , maybe sick and twisted way, I loved it . I loved the feeling of the cold nipping at my fingertips , I love the ghostly feeling when the cold air blows in you and I love the way it makes me feel alive .

The youth camp was a successful idea - marvelous even . Though many in my unit complained about how strenuous the training was , I enjoyed it . Every morning , from 4 am to 6 am , our mentors took us on a two hour long jog in the snowy forest of Cheremkhovsky .

It was hard at first , I had literally fainted on my first go, but as I eased into this , it became easier . After that jog , we had breakfast, and then we trained in our combat , hand to hand , handling weaponry such as guns and knives, etc.

My mentor , Kerry Lenz, took me under her wing when I joined . She saw my raw potential, my greedy need to feel alive and belonging . She had practically made me into what I am , a trained assassin .

While most of my peers were asleep in the dead of night , she took me out into the forest , regardless of whether it was snowing , raining, or a massive heatwave . There, under the start nights, she taught me the art of murder , she taught me how to effectively hide a body in plain sight and taught me how to read a person thoroughly , taught me how to stalk a prey and how to notice the tiniest details no matter how absurd .

She taught me like a mother hen would to her chick, and it made us closer. I came here to Russia at fourteen, and now here I am, graduating at eighteen into Russia's CIA program.

She kissed both of my cheeks that day and hugged me, and for once , I reciprocated it . " My beautiful rose , be the strong daring girl I taught you to be," She sobbed into my shirt . I smiled and hugged her , my eyes brimming with tears as I nuzzle into her shirt - her smell of rose scented perfume and Columbian cigar wafted into my nose .

" I promise to be that strong girl , mom," I promised her that day . She smiled at me and patted my shoulder . " hun , this life is a life you can't back away from , it digs its claws into you and keeps you hostage, promise me , you would not deter."

I nodded into her and tightened my hold on her . Since my graduation , I , out of the twenty five candidates at the youth camp , graduated into Russia's CIA task force . Our missions were never easy , every one we face the brutality of human nature - from sex traffic rings , child predators , serial killers to huge organizations abusing civilians , we were tasked to handle them all.

Every mission had its difficulty, a loss albeit one of our own or a victim, or maybe it's the mind-numbing pain of killing . Every mission had its fair share of shit but that didn't deter me one bit - I loved my job - I lived knowing that when I killed another child predator that I saved another child.

What's the use of arresting them in a system we're they are bound to be free and face no repercussions? Doing this job made me look at persons like Batman and his folk and a bit differently - he knowingly puts people like the Joker back into the Arkham asylum, knowing they'd break out and wreck havoc again.

Damian's p.o.v

If anyone told me that I of all people would feel out of place I would laugh at you . For my whole entire life - I've been a man sure of everything - down to the nitty things - I've been sure of everything.

I knew what I liked to eat , what shirt I wore with its specific pants , what show I like to watch , knew for certainty I wanted to be Robin but here - in this family I'm at a loss.

I'm always cleft confused and rather frustrated . My father's eldest , Dick , keeps lecturing me about how 'violent' my ways are , how I'm not suited to be Robin , that Robin is not 'violent'.

How is a boy supposed to believe the methods he's had instilled in him from birth are considered wrong - considered too orthodox. We both always argue - he always pushes me to my wits end . Today, though - today, he took it a notch further .

Today he involved father in our spat . It was a simple situation - a simple stake-out , a robbery being done in some small local supermarket , the robber noticed us before we noticed them and took off running and I had simply launched a batrang into his leg to stop him.

It led to the robber bleeding out in the road and almost dying, but wasn't the objective met ? Father and Dick seemed to think otherwise considering I was berated for it for fifteen minutes straight.

But what got me was when dick said , " You're a monster like your mother." I literally launched myself at him - almost prying out his eyes but father managed to pull me off and send me off to my room with a glare.

I didn't go to my room - I was far too angry, so I just roamed around the mansion . I have never been to this side of the mansion - to be fair, I don't even think Alfred ventures down here, but somehow - the quiet halls bring a bit of peace to me .

I walked down a hall and stopped at a door left abit ajar - weird I thought all doors in this house automatically closed . Approaching it , I carefully opened the door and peer in , inside - inside looked like a bedroom.

The bed looked like it was purposely shoved up against the window , it only had two pillows but frankly sat plush in-between them was a small plushie of a penguin. The room held minimum decor - whoever lived here may have been a minimalist or has long since moved on .

It had a quaint dark oak desk covered in dust and had several stacks of books that looked well used . Next to it was a wardrobe in matching oak that had a red,very worn , backpack hung on it's round handle . The room had a vanity , a cute miniature white one that every little girl must dream off , it held a simple comb and hair ties in a singular cup but the mirror was covered in old polaraid pictures.

So someone definitely lived here - but who ? I've seen Dick's room , even though he isn't here often Alfred cleans it and he has those stupid posters all over , it can't be Tim's either because his room is all dark and has a bunch of clothes strewn around , it's clearly a girl's so Cassandra? No she's too neat for this - steph ? No , I remember her decorating her room with pink frilly ribbons last Christmas- Jason? - no so then who -

" I see you've come across y/n's room " comes a sudden voice behind me . Turning around , I am met with Alfred, who looks around the room so - so sullen ? " Pennyworth, why such a cres- fallen face ?" I enquire . Alfred looks everywhere but me .

" This is y/n's bedroom " he says as he steps in. " y/n ?" I ask perplexed - father - hell no one has mentioned y/n to me ever .

ty for reading !!!

incorrect quotes

MASTERLIST ..⋆. 𐙚 ̊

જ⁀➴ welcome to Red's masterlist ୧⍤⃝💐 !!

PULL ME IN

summary: due to Bruce distancing himself from reading and seeing other women - batfam has to watch their mom willow away.

CH 1

DIE YOUNG

summary : batfam enjoy each other's presence while Alfred and Bruce silently mourns your death.

CH 1

CH 2

alternative universe- reader is older and actually gets to meet her siblings yet still meets her own demise .

Lone Warrior

summary : reader is put into emergency foster care after a tragedy , despite living with the Wayne family for a bit , reader takes it upon herself to move away and start anew since she clearly wasn't welcomed , after many years have passed Damian finally joins the family and after a particular spat w his father he finds himself in reader's room and an interest in them has sparked.

CH 1

CH 2

CH 3

HELP YOURSELF

summary : in a family filled with intriguing members of their own right , duke has a particular interest in a certain vigilante in the family that everyone seems to overlook . this interest leads to the family to spiral into obsession .

CH 1 - 3

Neglected Reader x Yandere Platonic Batfam

CH 1

CH 2

CH 3

CH 4

Damian Wayne x Tokyo Ghoul Reader

summary :Damien Wayne is a complex character on his own , he has his own complex emotions and feelings that not many people can understand, que in a ghoul like sibling whom can comfort Damien in his hard times by reminiscing their own experience with them.

CH 1

CH 2

CH 3

DRABBLES

I 'hate' Cats - jason fic

New Beginings - jason fic

hc for reader being the favorite in batfam - hc 1 , hc 2

saiki reader x batfam shenigans

SALVATORE - tim drake blurb

I HATE SPIDER LILLES - a lonesome child dies while a neglectful father loses himself to guilt and grief. ( batfam x neglected reader )

Fallen Star - jason mourns his dead wife .

Am I Enough ? - Alfred unexplainably dislikes a certain Wayne member and is hellbent on making her life as miserable as it can get .

TO LOVE YOU IS KILLING ME - the only person bucky has ever felt seen , loved and cared by is slowing dying and he can only helplessly stand there and watch them go .

TIMELESS - spinoff on (neglected reader x batfam ) where us the reader loves neglected character while batfam seethes in jealousy

A VILE THING YOU ARE - au in which neglected reader understands why her family dislikes her ( tw. Dark themes such as body security is mentioned)

THE HELL YOU MEAN YOU GOT A GIRL - drabble abt the bat boys not believing Tim for having a girlfriend

DECOMPOSING BODY - batfam looses their mom and wife due to her drowning in her own insecurities and the public only fuels it

REQUESTS

strangers - reader comes from a post - apolyptic world where mankind was wiped out due to nuclear warfare and deadly disease . suddenly she is awaken in a world where humanity is thriving yet this weird family behaves so strangely toward her??

Bimbo reader x yan jason - yan Jason is obsessed with bimbo reader

Girl dad Joker and mom Harley- despite being mentally ill and fucked up they'd make good parents .

OH FATHER DEAREST SAVE ME - au in which Joker & Harleys daughter became Robin for unforseen reasons, and due to a mishap, they end up killing her.

ty to everyone who supports my work , i really appreciate everyone and i can't thank you all enough !!

if a link is not working pls comment which one and i'll fix it and i apologize for the future trouble !!

TO LOVE YOU IS KILLING ME

summary :the only person bucky has ever felt seen , loved and cared by is slowing dying and he can only helplessly stand there and watch them go .

inspired by the let me down easy prompt

crds to this challenge goes to @fvckingavengers

Bucky knew he was a difficult person - from the way he unnecessarily had to check all his rooms , closet spaces to little hidey corners in order to stupidly reassure himself every night that he can indeed sleep here or the fact that hydra's taken everything that made him human.

It hurted alot when they took his arm , it hurted even more when they scrambled his mind but it destroyed him most when they took away his ability to feel - to connect to anything remotely human.

It hurts so much to see his teammates hug one another after a successful mission knowing he fully well can't bare to close to someone like that, bruises him to the core when he flinchs like a scared , wounded animal when anyone so much as brushes against him the slightest

This type of agony bucky would wish upon no one - not even his worst enemy. It's such a lonesome life - a life where everyone either avoids him or sends him pitiful looks. He sits alone - wondering - sometimes crying to himself in the lonesome comfort of his home when he ponders on why - why must he be alone ? Is he not worthy of companionship ? Not worthy of feeling connected ? Of feeling attached ?

It came to a high one day when he met you. You were a lonely, ghostly figure whom stood by overhanging cliff - he just so happened to be on a late night run, and naturally , his keen eye spotted your figure encroaching the overhanging cliff.

He immediately sprinted towards you - holding your shoulders , " Excuse me, you need to stand back," he orders. He was met with silence - and for a long moment, bucky had actually thought he was holding a ghost since you were so uncannily still until you slowly backed up towards his chest.

You hadn't said anything yet - didn't have to when you finally turned around to face him - a look of pain and suffering was etched into the contours your face , dark circles prominent under your eyes and your unkept hair kept falling into your face .

Bucky had to hold himself back from practically caressing your face - but decided against it paiinfully aware of how intimate such actions are . He just - something in him wanted to tell yu hat everything would be okay .Silence drags out for a long time - neither daring to speak. " I'm sorry ...you had to see that" your soft voice apologized.

Bucky almost hadn't heard it over the strong wind sweeping in, but thanks to the serum and his intense training, he managed to pick it up. " It's alright " he murmured. A long silence passes by again - this time not awkward like he thought it was - it was one of mutual understanding.

A while passes by, and finally, your figure turns away from him and retreats away in the night's smokey blanket . Bucky stands there as he watches your figure disappears before he himself retreats back home.

The next time he sees you - it is at the cliff - this time he's there first. It's late in the evening and few days has passed since that incident , the dark blue , rough waves crash against the black jaggery cliffs beneath him , in the distance the golden sun was setting - casting an angelic halo across the pink , orange sky above him.

His hands sunk further into the worn pockets of his leather jacket as he intently watches over the cliff - today was exhausting for him - too many meetings- too many eyes looking at him , too many eyes staring at him , too many eyes trying to pry him apart.

He inhales, and his head immediately snaps when he hears shoes crouching on fallen leaves. He spun around - alert , reading to take out the threat only to be met with your slumped figure approaching him.

He observed your hands tucked in your own hoodie , oversized pants that bellowed in the wind . Your worn-out sneakers had ducktape stuck on in odd angles, but somehow, to Bucky ,you had managed to upstage even the prettiest models even when you look like you don't try.

You approached him calmly - as if he wasn't some treat - as if he wasn't capable of ending your life in a matter of seconds. You stopped beside him and took in the view , " Didn't expect you here," you murmured as your eyes taken in the shoreline.

Bucky doesn't say anything at first- it feels weird to him that someone is actually talking to him - not out of pity , not because he is expected to do something, not because it's mission related but out of genuine interest.

The words die in Becky's throat - how strange - he was a warrior capable of so much - how disappointing he couldn't talk to you like they wsy he oh so confidently did before the war. He mustered everything within himself to answer you , " I just like the view" . You were silent , pursued your lips as you kept staring out into the vastness. " Me too" you finally answered.

From then on - every other day , bucky looked forward to seeing you by the piere where he could indulge in your comforting silence and non judgemental presence. Bucky notices himself always feeling more relaxed around you - it started subtle at first - like his fingers going on their own accord to intertwine with your own whenever you stood next to each other .

And gradually he's become accustomed to leaning on your shoulders. Most times you both didn't talk - didn't have to because you both understood each other through silence and slow touches you both bestow upon one another.

One day - one particular day you were staring off into the setting sun - face held grim . Bucky held his tongue- of course he's noticed but knows better than to push you for answers - too scared you don't come back to him or worse hate him if he did. " Don't get too attached to me" You said abuptedly disturbing the tranquility.

Bucky looks at you strangely , " Name, don't be ridiculous" he says as a matter of fact . Name doesn't say anything else after that - just opting to squeeze his hand again.

Days pass by - bucky has yet to visit to piere, too busy being wrapped up in mission after mission. Months pass by like this and finally- he visits the piere , a handful of forget me nots were in one hand , his face wears a smug smile .

He's in a good mood - for once he's approaching this piere with eagerness - he's confident that he feels something for you - confident that he wants to further what you both have - confident to finally tell someone I love you.

He spots your figure already there, and he eagerly speeds walk there . He back hugs you once he's close enough, and you simply pat his hand. " Name, I miss you," He confesses. Name gives him a small smile " Pierre's is always lonely without you " ( I miss you too) Bucky smiles.

As he hands you the forget me nots, " I have something to tell you " He says - shy but determined. You face him and tilted your head. Bucky coughs , " Name - it's been Years since I've met someone who's wanted me for me , who can see me for me - be there because I am me , I thought for a long time that I didn't deserve any happiness until I met you , Name ....I love you" Bucky confesses.

Name smile , " Bucky..I love you too but I told you not to get attached to me " You say with a somber smile . Bucky holds you , " What do you mean Name?" He enquires , eyes furrowed.

Name weakly reaches to touch his face but suddenly erupts in hoarse coughing fits causing her to bend over. Bucky holds name but her figure is already limply falling to the ground. " Name ?!" He exclaims as he crouches down to examine you.

" Bucky, I'm sorry, but I love you," you confess - this time coughing up blood in between. " and I'm sorry you had to love me". Bucky fishes out his burner phone and immediately starts calling Tony when reader reaches out her hands onto his to stop him " Please no - I'm right where I want to be" reader whispers as she leant onto his shoulders.

Bucky holds them." Name - name. What's going on ? Let me get you the help you need !!" Bucky exclaims in a panic. Name's head began lolling off his side , "mhmm, don't need anything - just want you to lay me down slowly," readers mumbles - drifting in-between consciousness.

Bucky shakes them' in attempts to wake them, ' Name - Name, please ! Please answer me !!" He says as he frantically shakes them. Moments passed, and Bucky began to feel their corpse grow cold in his hold. Bucky, let's out streams of tears - it practically dalls onto your facxe , staining it causing him cry even more. He can't believe your gone - slipped through his fingers , ensnared by death .

He numbly stands up with your corpse in hand as he begins to descend the rocky cliffs towards the shoreline.

Bucky knows he can't promise being good. He can't promise not to let Winter Soldier reek havoc , can't even promise you to not get too attached in the first place. Now , he slowly approaches the calm seashore , the waves calm , gentle embraces his presence as he walks through them like a knife.

Water bunches around him as he descends further , your body in tow as he reaches as deep as he can get, he can't promise to be a good man after this but he can promise to let you down as easy as he can .

He lowers your body into the waves gently , watching as it encases you like a cacoon and eagerly carry you away from him. A part of him wants to scream , claw and be angry at you - how dare you make him love you, how dare you fix him only to leave but a major part of him doesn't regret loving you and doesn't regret you fixing him.

Just because you're gone now doesn't mean that bucky won't stop loving and mourning you.

Ty for reading. Please like , comment, + share !!

✨ fvckingavengers’ new year writing challenge ✨

happy 2025, friends! a goal i have for this year is to create more content for you guys to read after a 4 year hiatus. music really helps me to get the creative juices flowing, so i thought i'd make a list of some lyric prompts. whether you write smut, angst, fluff, or a beautiful combination of these and other tropes, i hope you find something that sparks inspiration. if nothing else, you can get some solid music recs because i have good taste. *cue glinda's toss toss hair flip*

there are no rules or deadlines. i do ask, that if you are interested that you please reblog this post.

lastly, please feel free to send me a prompt that you would like to read in my writing style as well! i mostly write smut/angst about Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers/Nomad!Steve, and Dean Winchester. but i with the right prompt, I could be persuaded to write for Peter Parker, Thor, Loki, ect. (really depends lolololol)

happy writing!! 🥰

fleetwood mac: gold dust woman - well, did she make you cry / make you breakdown / shatter your illusions of love / and is it over now? do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home silver springs - time cast a spell on you / but you won't forget me / i know i could have loved you, but you would not let me / i'll follow you down til the sound of my voice can haunt you / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

nothing but thieves: is everybody going crazy? - in this wounded, sinister place we've only got each other / the sky is crashing down, i know it's strange, but heaven's a mindset away // it would feel so good to steal some time / it would feel so good to make you mine miracle, baby - you need a miracle, baby, but i wouldn't wait too long, it's not gonna save you / seen any miracles lately? they hardly ever come along/ i need a miracle, baby

florance + the machine: seven devils - holy water cannot help you now / see, i've come to burn your kingdom down / and no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out / i'm gonna raise the stakes, i'm gonna smoke you out // seven devils all around you, seven devils in your house / see, i was dead when i woke up this morning and i'll be dead before the day is done cosmic love - the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out / you've left me in the dark / no dawn, no day, i'm always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart

nial horan: too much to ask - my shadow's dancing without you for the first time / my heart is hoping you walk right in tonight / tell me there are things that you regret / 'cause if i'm being honest i ain't over you yet small talk - tell me what you want because you know i want it, too / let's skip all the small talk and go straight up to your room / i've been thinking what i'd do when i'm alone with you / just say nothing, small talk only gets in the way

gracie abrams: i love you, i'm sorry - 'cause that's just the way life goes / i push my luck, it shows / thankful you don't send someone to kill me // the way life goes / joyriding down our road / lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me us. feat taylor swift - the curse or the miracle / hearse or an oracle / you're incomparable, fuck, it was chemical / you plus me was us that's so true - made it out alive, but i think i lost it / said that i was fine, i said it from my coffin / remember how i died when you started walking

maroon 5: harder to breathe - when it's cold outside and you got nobody to love / you'll understand what i mean when i say there's no way we're gonna give up / and like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dream / is there anyone out there? 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe secret - i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad / everyone has a secret, oh, can they keep it? oh no, they can't // i ask you how hot can it get? and as you wipe of beads of sweat slowly you say, "i'm not there yet" animals - you're like a drug that's killing me, i cut you out entirely / but i get so high when i'm inside you

miley cyrus: plastic hearts - i can be whoever you want me to be / love me now, but not tomorrow / fill me up, but leave me hollow / pull me in, but don't you get too close angels like you - i know that you're wrong for me / gonna wish we never met on the day i leave / i brought you down to your knees, 'cause they say that misery loves company / it's not your fault i ruin everything / and it's not your fault i can't be what you need / baby, angels like you can't fly down hell with me / i'm everything they said i would be gimme what i want - sweat drippin' down to the floor / bite marks like an animal / you might be insane / but maybe we're the same / tonight you came here 'cause you know what i need and no one likes to be alone

teddy swims:

lose control - problem is when i'm with you i'm an addict / and i need some relief / my skin in your teeth / can't see the forest through the trees / got me down on my knees, darling, please // i lose control when you're not next to me / i'm falling apart right in front of you, can't you see? hammer to the heart - just because you're staying over, doesn't mean that you're forgiven // baby, i'm helpless, baby / porcelain in your hands, bound to fall about/you know how to break me bad dreams - without you, there ain't no place for me to hide / without you, there's no way i can sleep tonight

daisy jones & the six: look at us now (honeycomb) - we unraveled a long time ago / we lost and we couldn't let it go / i wish it was easy, but it isn't so / oh,we can make a good thing bad let me down easy - if you're gonna let me down, let me down easy / if you're gonna let me down / don't you go and tell me that you loved me while you're leaving / if you're gonna leave me now you were gone - how about we turn it off? / just flip the switch and walk away / every story has an ending / and it's not our job to stay / now, how about we turn it off ? /just forget it like it's gone / we'll forget about the way you turn me on the river - if i follow you to the river / send my blues out to the sea / will you stay with me forever? / will you chase me in my dreams? / if i throw it all in the river / and let the rhythm take the lead / will it stay with you and never let you leave on me?

paramore/hayley williams: thick skull - i am a magnet for broken pieces / i am attracted to broken people / i pick them up and now my fingers are bleeding / and it looks like my fault ignorance - i'm just a person but you can't take it / the same tricks that, that once fooled me / they won't get you anywhere / i'm not the same kid from your memory / well, now i can fend for myself crushcrushcrush - if you wanna play it like a game, well, come on, come on, let's play / 'cause i'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute you first - everyone is a bad guy and there's no way, no way to know who's the worst / karma's gonna come for all of us and i hope, well, i hope, i just hope she comes for you first idle worship - oh, no, i ain't your hero / you're waiting all your faith on me / oh, no, i know where this goes / think it's safe to say your savior doesn't look a thing like me

taylor swift:

august - i can see us lost in the memory /august slipped away into a moment in time / 'cause it was never mine / and i can see us twisted in bedsheets / august sipped away like a bottle of wine / 'cause you were never mine

maroon - when the silence came we were shaking, blind, and hazy / how the hell did we lose sight of us again / sobbing with your head in your hands / ain't that the way shit always ends

castles crumbling - my foes and friends watch my reign end / i don't know how it could have ended this way /smoke billows from my ships in the harbor / people look at me like i'm a monster / now they're screaming at the palace front gates / used to chant my name/now they're screaming that they hate me / never wanted you to hate me i can see you - i can see you waiting down the hall from me / i can see you up against the wall with me // i can see you throw your jacket on the floor / i can see you make me want you even more / what would you do, baby, if you only knew, that i can see you // i can see you being my addiction / you can see me as a secret mission so it goes… - i'm yours to keep / and i'm yours to lose / you know i'm not a bad girl, but i do bad things with you / come here, dressed in black now / so it goes/scratches down your back now/so it goes… new year's day - please don't ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere so long, london - and you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it / my white knuckle dying grip / holding tight to your quite resentment / my friends said it isn't right to be scared / every day of a love affair / every breath feels like rarest air / when you're not sure if he wants to be there

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - my boy only breaks his favorite toys / i'm queen of sand castles he destroys / 'cause i knew too much / there was danger in the heat of my touch / he saw forever so he smashed it up

don't blame me - don't blame me / love made me crazy / if it doesn't, you ain't doing it right / lord save me, my drug is my baby / i'll be using for the rest of my life // and baby, for you i would fall from grace / just to touch your face / if you walk away / i'd beg you on my knees to stay

i can fix him (no really i can) - good boy / that's right / come close/i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel / all night/trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man / no really i can

florida!!! - i need to forget so take me to florida / i got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida / tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable / what a crash, what a rush / fuck me up, florida / it's one hell of a drug

haunted - you and i walk a fragile line / i have known it all this time but i never thought i'd live to see it break

the prophecy - please i've been on my knees / change the prophecy / don't want money / just someone who wants my company / let it once be me / who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy

wonderland - you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had / and in the end, in wonderland, we both went mad

i know places - they are the hunters, we are the foxes / and we run / just grab my hand and don't ever drop it / my love // baby, i know places we won't be found / they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down / 'cause i, i know places we can hide

fortnight - i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me // i took the miracle move-on drug but the effects were temporary / and i love you, it's ruining my life

the black dog - old habits die screaming // six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke illicit affairs - you wanna scream don't call me "kid" / don't call me "baby" / look at this godforsaken mess that you made me // and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times this is me trying - my words shoot to kill when i'm mad / i have a lot of regrets about that // it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you the great war - it turned into something bigger / somewhere in the haze, had a sense i'd been betrayed / your finger on my hairpin trigger / soldier down on that icy ground / looked up at me with honor and truth / broken and blue, so i called off the troops / that was the night i nearly lost you false god - we might just get away with it / religion's in your lips / even if it's a false god / we'd still worship / we might just get away with it / the alter is my hips / even if it's a false god / we'd still worship this love

misc: daydreaming by harry styles - stay unil the morning, 'cause, baby, loving you's the real thing / it just feels right / so give me all of your love, give me something to dream about the summoning by sleep token - oh, and my love / did i mistake you for a sign from god? / or are you really here to cast me off? / or maybe just to turn me on? / 'cause these days, i would be lying if i told you that / i didn't wish that i could be your man / or maybe make a good girl bad wildflower by billie eilish - but i see her in the back of my mind / all the time / like a fever, like i'm burning alive / like a sign / did i cross the line? push me over by maren morris - necklace rests just so on your collarbone / makes me want to know how your perfume smells on me later // want you in my bed 'cause i dont need more friends / the more that you come closer, want you to push me over get stoned by hinder - let's go home and get stoned / we could end up makin' love instead of misery / go home and get stoned / 'cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me heavy by powers - it's heavy / heavy how i want you so bad / heavy when it hits me so fast / heavy and it's driving me mad / that i'm never gonna give you up addicted by kelly clarkson - i'm hooked on you, i need a fix, i can't take it / just one more hit, i promise i can deal with it / i'll handle it, quit it, just one more time then that's it / just a little bit more to get me through this in the middle of the night by elley duhe' - in the middle of the night / just call my name, i'm yours to tame / in the middle of the night / i'm wide awake, i crave your taste blame brett by the beaches - i'm sorry in advance / i'm only gonna treat you bad / i'm probably gonna let you down / i'm probably gonna sleep around / so sorry in advance / before you take off your pants / i wouldn't let me near your friends / i wouldn't let me near your dad / but don't blame me, blame brett / blame my ex, blame my ex, blame my ex ego talking by fletcher - hope my lips haunt you for life, hearing my name twists the knife / hoping you stay brokenhearted / but that's just my ego talkin' 63 days by atlas genius - i told you i would race home if you need me / in for the long chase / i'll make you believe daylight by david kushner - this lust is a burden that we both share / two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer / souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt celebrity skin by hole - honeysuckle, shes made of poison / she obliterated everything she kissed ceilings by lizzy mcalpine - bedsheets, no clothes / touch me like nobody else does / lovely to just lay here with you / you're kinda cute, and i would say all of this / but i don't wanna ruin the moment / lovely to sit between comfort and chaos disease by lady gaga - screamin' for me baby / like your gonna die / poison on the inside, i could be your antidote tonight

BAHAHAHAHA IM SORRYY

Am I Enough ?

summary : Alfred unexplainably dislikes a certain Wayne member and is hellbent on making her life as miserable as it can get .

What does it take to make a person break ? What does it take to make a person want to pull apart themselves from within ? What makes a person want to drown themselves in an unimaginable abyss and let its infinite darkness swallow them hole ?

Well, if you asked name, it would be watching Alfred treat every other family member with the utmost respect and love, but when it comes to her , he is cold and unforgiving .

Sometimes , name sits in her room and reflects - sometimes she thinks she's being dramatic - taking things out of portion . Maybe Alfred hadn't made her any dinner like everyone else because he was tired ? Maybe he didn't offer to patch up her bleeding wounds because he had to tend to Tim's scar ?

Name can't tell you how many excuses she had made for that man and his odd behavior towards her . Was it because she was a product of Bruce's one night stands ? It has to be impossible because he treats Damian with utmost care despite their constant back and forts and his own creation.

Is it because she was abnoxious ? That would explain the glare he shot her whenever she spoke during dinner . She tried - lord knows name - tried apologizing to the older head so many times over the years she has lived and served under Bruce Wayne, but the older head would always dismiss her .

Name pretends it's not a big deal - a pathetic attempt of dealing with her problems, but what else was she to do ? Alfred was so loved and appreciated in this family that if she dared speak something ill against him - she shivered and dreaded the consequences .

She already knows what they would tell her , " Name, don't be so dramatic Alfred has served us for so long be appreciative" , " Name , not everyone has to like you , I thought you were more mature than this " , " Name , you can't be this ridiculous ".

Thoughts like these swirl around her head like a violent tornado whenever she so much has a silver of confidence to approach anyone on the topic . So, name feigns ignorance to the topic . Whenever Dick questions why Alfred can't simply drop her to school , name just lies about wanting to walk to school and back instead .

Whenever questioned why she cleans up after herself instead of leaving it to Alfred by Stephanie, name just laughs it off to being independent. She gets weird looks from Jason every time she shuffles a sandwich she made for herself for dinner , instead of the five-star meal, Alfred made them .

She always made excuses for that man, but lord - those that man hate her . She remembers in 8th grade when she felt sick, and she opted to stay home that day . Around noon, she had entered the kitchen for a drink when Alfred spotted her and began his berating.

" Name Wayne , your father spends thousands behind your tuition not so that you can discard it so recklessly to be a nobody." Name was so embarrassed that she simply shut herself in her room after that.

To make it even worse , Alfred had complained to Bruce about it right after, and she got a lecture from him too about how important academics were . That wasn't the worst of it - the worst was when she had her guy friend over in the library to study for an exam, and Alfred spotted them and accused her of being a hooker .

Any bits of sympathy and respect she held for that man died that day . Since then, they've been icy to one another , always sneering and glaring at one each other whenever they can .

Name is happy to report that since she turned 18 , she has long since left the mansion and has been living her life in New York . Far away from Gotham , far away from Alfred and far away enough to live her life without some old geaser up her behind .

She till works for Bruce, always sending over whatever bit of intel she found to him or Tim. Years passed like this, and name has yet to visit the manor since , to the point it's a running joke between Jason and Dick that he himself visits more than her .

The batfam likes to joke about every year around that it would take a ' Christmas miracle ' for name to show up, not knowing that Alfred purposely doesn't send her any invitations or the way Tim always suggests " we can make name bring the mash potatoes so she hasto join us ! " During Thanksgiving dinners .

As much as Bruce laughs and entertains the jokes , he always wondered why you never came , always wondered if they harmed you someway or how that made you want to distance yourself from them.

It all came down to a week before Christmas , and the batfam was busy helping preparations and ensuring the safety of Gotham was at its best this holiday . Bruce had just come back from patrol and was busy typing away at his computer when Alfred approached him with dinner.

" Alfred please prepare a room for name " Bruce says after a few beats of silence have passed . Alfred stills - almost dropping the platter of food . " Excuse me Master Wayne but what ?" Alfred asks - too shocked - too stunned by the request . He thought he gotten rid of you for good why - why now ?

Bruce raised an eyebrow at this , " I asked for you to prepare a room for Name , I have invited them over for Christmas " Bruce says once again , this time his voice firm . Alfred blinks his eyes - he can't belive it - can't grasp the fact that after all these years Bruce still cared about you of all people .

Before Alfred can even argue about it - Damian and Dick whom overheard the conversation eagerly approaches them . " Hmph my competent sibling would make this Christmas snowball fights ever so more winnable for us " Damian says with a smirk- he's already plotting in his head the shenigans the both of you can do to poor Jason.

Dick rolled his eyes but had a cheesy smile plastered on , " No way in hell you got name to come back home old man " Dick laughs out as he ruffles through Bruce's hair . Bruce stares at them all with a pokerface , " I personally talked with them and requested their presence this Christmas and told them it was non-negotiable "

Dick laughs , " You're treating them like they're Jason and would rather ship themselves to the sun than come home " . Damian nods his head to this , " My sibling is more competent than that idiot " . A batrang is then thrown at his head to which Damain eagerly dodges .

" SHUT UP YOU LITTLE GREMLIN " Jason shouts in the distance , Tim's laughter echoing right after . A fight begins to ensue and Bruce returns back to his work - ignoring everyone while Alfred is stood there frozen in disbelief .

A week passed a name is standing in front of the looming mansion. Nothing has changed since the day she left - especially the scowling old man awaiting in the foyer for her . " Good evening Alfred " Name greets him as she removes her coat and hangs it on the hanger . " It would of been a better evening if you never came " Alfred says before walking away . Name scowled - ' why does he always have a stick up his behind ?' She thinks as she invited herself inside.

' Also what was the point of waiting for her if he'd just walk away ?' Name thinks to herself as she seats herself in the dinner table . " NAME !! " Stephanie exclaims at her arrival. Beside her , Tim embraces her and Jason flicks her forehead .

" Name welcome back " Bruce greets her at the head of the table . Name smiles at her dad - a sense of happiness fills her , after years of celebrating the holidays alone or among friends , she's happy to be back home amoug them.

" We missed you name like Damian literally cried when you left " Dick says with a giggle . Damian angrily shoves him off his seat , " Shut up grayson that literally never happened " .

Name laughs but was interupted by a Alfred's cough. " Dinner is served masters " he says as he places plates in front of everyone except name . " Where is Name’s plate ?" Tim asks - breaking the comfortable silence . Everyone turns to Alfred who quickly feigns ignorance . " Apologies Master Drake I am afraid I forgot Name was visiting and hadn't prepared anything "

Bruce and Damian both quirk their eyebrows in confusion because all week - they've both been talking about your arrival how can he simply forget ? . Name awkwardly laughs , " It's alright everyone I'll make myself a sandwich-" She tries to excuse herself but is stopped when Jason angrily bangs his hands against the table .

" This is absolutely ridiculous Alfred I know you hate them but to be this petty?" He argues . Silence envelops the table - name stunned because how the hell did Jason know about any of this ? How did he notice ?

" Jason that's a wild accusation -" Tim starts but Jason cuts him off . " No listen - I don't know how none of you ever noticed but name always has to make their own food - I've never seen Alfred cook them anything " Jason points out .

The table is silent again . " Alfred why is that ?" Bruce asks . Alfred fumbles abit but clears his throat . " Name prefers to make her own meals " he lied . Everyone turns to name who's practically sinks in her own seat from the heated stares .

" Is this true Name ?" Bruce enquires sternly . " Yes ?" Name pathetically lies and curses herself internally. Damian glances at her and then at Alfred . " What is the meaning of this Alfred ?" He orders . Alfred has to steel himself from within before answering , " nothing of the sort master we just don't get along " was his excuse .

Silence draws out once more . " Why ?" Dick asks as he looks between you both . Name stayed silent before answering, " I don't know what I did - I tried apologizing but nothing changed " .

" Wait name !! " Bruce calls after her but it was too late she had already left, never to return home again .

Alfred shoots her a harsh glare , " It is because this family can do without her existence " and with that Alfred leaves the room without another word . Silence once again draws out but was broken by name pushing her seat back . " Was nice having dinner with you guys but I must leave " she says before hurriedly making her exit .

Fallen Star

summary: jason mourns his dead wife .

Dying hadn't seemed scary, but when I felt your gentle soul begin to slip through my fingers - I felt the desperation , the sheer panic that coarsed through me as I desperately clawed it back to it's rightful place .

I watched helplessly as liquid gold spilled away to the crashing waves of death - tell me, beloved - why did you have to abandon me all alone on life's cold shores without your warmth ? Did you watch me claw at the shores - arms desperately flailing in the water as I try to crawl to you ?

Did you watch the tears I spilled for you stain my weary face after the hours I spent wailing my heart out for you ? Tell me, did you ever think of me in death's warmth ? Did ever once thought about comming back to me ?

I have grown tired , too tired, my beloved - I grown too cold , too monstrous as I continue living in a world without you . I curse myself every night for being a selfish man for wanting you to come back to me in this God forsaken world . I would burn myself for it, my love, but still - but still, I await every night at our humble foyer waiting for you to walk through that door.

Your bedside has grown cold, my love. It has long since lost your honeyed scent . Even in the early mornings, when the sun pours its golden rays onto it , it still remains cold and desolate . Maybe you were the world's true sun, my love, because ever since it's only rained and snowed since you've left.

Your coffee mug is always left untouched on the counter - exactly where you left it, my love - long gone, the guys you would have nagged me to put it away in the cupboards . Long gone the night's you stayed awake to dress my wounds - gone were your soft kisses on my hot skin , gone were the times you embraced me after I awoke from your nightmares.

Long gone where the days I had any appetite because my body , my heart , my soul still craves the warm food you would always make me. Every night, I come back home to bleed out on the living room floor because I refuse to be taken care of by anyone who isn't you, my love.

I still go to that overpriced cafe we always went and buy your coffee order - I'd swallow the overly sweet vanilla drink while I try not to break down thinking about how the sweet smile you always wore when you drinked it .

Every day, I visit your grave with your favorite flowers and a letter always telling you I love you no matter what. I always make sure to look my best when visiting you love - always wearing that red sweater you made me because you said I looked cute as a cherry .

I always sit next to your tombstone and talk to you beloved - about any and anything because I know you'd want to know . I always kept your space clean and neat because I know you loved your spaces clean . Did you know my love I visit your grave more that my own ?

I don't care if it is ridiculous - but my soul and heart know that my life - my entire being - my reason for living never resided in that corpse but resided in your heart instead .

I miss you so much beloved please return to me , your husband Jason Todd .

Tumblr is being an ahh again 😮‍💨

Dude, do you have a masterlist? You should pin it so that it wouldn't be buried with all of my ask (I just noticed how many asked I have sent you already)

-👻

Hey ! I just made one lmaoo because even I don't know where my own posts are lmao

The dead haunts me

Pt.3 of Damien x Tokyo Ghoul sib. Reader

-> Read part 1 , part 2 here

──► after the death of his beloved sibling , Damien Wayne sets out hellbent on seeking his rightful justice even if it means betraying the world , betraying his family , and betraying them .

Tw : mentions of human abuse , mention of animal abuse , attempted self-harm , blood , gore , dark obsession

April 7th 2009 ,

help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help mehelp me help me help me help me help me help me help mehelp me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help mehelp me help me help me help me

April 8th, 2009

Today, I was allowed to peak through the window again , I got to see a Robin !! I wish I had wings as beautiful as the Robin. It's such a pretty shade of brown like the hot coco mama used to make on Christmas. If I were a Robin, I would fly as high as the clouds, and I'd never fly back down ! I only got electrocuted five times today , maybe because of yesterday ..... but hey, at least I got to see a Robin today !

April 9th , 2009

kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me .

April 10th , 2009

I failed another test yesterday . I couldn't do it , the dog was innocent, and she had little heartbeats in her tummy . I didn't wanna kill her , she was someone's best friend , someone's mum, even if she was a stray dog. The dog looked so scared, so I hugged the dog ! But I don't think they liked that because they hit me a lot . But it was okay because I kept hugging her because I didn't want them to hit me . Then he shoved me off her - I promise I tried , I tried to get up, but he pushed me down with his foot . He then.... ate her .....he ate her, and her blood was all over me . It's my fault she's gone , it's my fault she's dead - I'm so sorry, mummy , daddy, I didn't wanna be a monster .

December 15th , 2016

I made a new friend named Damien ! He's really cool . He has two awesome katanas, and he let me touch one ! I accidentally cut my finger, but that's okay ! We've been good friends for a while , apparently, he's Mr. Wayne's birth son, which is really cool. Imagine having batman as a dad ! Anyway I have to go on patrol with my new friend now !

February 4th, 2017

I cried on my new friends shoulder today , was pretty embrassing, but he hugged me back, and he was super warm !! I accidentally stabbed a suspect - it wasn't supposed to happen, and it was reflexes I swear because he came out of nowhere . Tim called me a monster because of it as the suspect was gurgling and bleeding but honest it wasn't my fault, and plus, he had an assault rifle ! Thankfully, Damien was there to back me up, and he told Tim off but still I feel so bad I didn't want to be a monster but Damien hugged me and promised me that we aren't monsters , we just grew up differently than them .

These entries are the property of Y/N Wayne .

Damien couldn't tell you the last time he slept . Everytime he closed his eyes , the vivid memory of y/n's dead form laying there bleeding in that field replays before him liek a broken record - sometimes in the dead of the night he can hear them calling out to him for help only to but immediately cut off abruptly like that night.

Whenever he's not pouring through countless articles about Arima or what happened that night, he's pouring through Y/n's life entries to the point he's memorized every page since its the one thing that has him grounded to earth anymore.

It's been a year . A year . And nothing, he couldn't find anything about Arima , nothing about the organization he works with , nothing about what happened to you that night, and he's bloody gone mad . It's like whatever happened that night vanished .

He asked - no begged Bruce on his hands and knees , till they were bloodied and bruised to help him search for you and even he - even he couldn't find anything about you . He feels so incredibly useless , mad , angry, somber, and tired, but his mind won't rest until he knows - until he's has avenged you.

Damien finds himself in their room again - like clockwork , his body unconsciously takes him here everytime , he doesn't know why but his body always guide him back here , to a home that's no longer here . He crashes on your bed and sobs loudly.

He sobs and screams his heart out before his lungs burn, and he has no more tears . Bruce stands in the doorframe as he looks at his son's disheveled form . He steps in carefully and approaches his sullen form. He doesn't know if Damien wants his company to begin with, but he shows no signs of being disturbed .

" Damien, we will get to the bottom of this, and we will arrest the culprit. It's just gonna take time -" Bruce says as he rubs Damien's back in a soothing manner . " Arrest them ? I'm going to bloody murder whoever it is, " Damien seethes out as he clutches onto the bedsheets in anger.

Bruce scowls . " They wouldn't want that," he muttered out . Damien stills underneath him before kicking him square , sending Bruce flying into a wall . " YOU DON'T GET TO SAY WHAT THEY WANT," he screams back.

Hearing the commotion , Dick runs into the room and makes a beeline to his father . " Damien what the fuck -" he curses as he helps pick up his father . Damien seethes , red is practically all he sees at this point .

" Damien - we both know they don't like death - what makes you think they'd like it if you took another's life " Bruce says between coughs . Damien shoots him a glare. " DON'T PLAY SAINT WITH ME BRUCE , THEYRE DEAD , THEYRE GONE BECAUSE SOME SICK FUCK AND IF YOU HADN'T HELD ME BACK THAT NIGHT THEY'D BE HERE WITH ME " Damien shouts as he punches the wall next to him.

Dick sends him a glare . " You're absolutely gone mad." Damien gives him a sick smile , " I've gone mad long time. You're just now realizing it." Bruce's shakes his head as he leans against Dick for support . " Don't do this, Damien , don't go down this road," Bruce pleads with his son. Damien shakes his head. " Because of your - no our incompetence , following your pathetic morals , trying to be nice , trying to be diplomatic, they're dead so no father. I WILL BE JUSTICE , I WILL BRING IT , I WILL FORCE IT UPON GOTHAM AND YOU ALL SHALL BARE IT , Damien promises before vanishing off into the night.

Blood stains his shirt , his hands , his face as he moves through the night skillfully, leaving a bloodbath in his wake. The once quiet night of Gotham was now filled with pleads and screams of criminals. Damien decided that since he couldn't find out who did it , he might as well eliminate all possibilities...permenantly.

Bodies were left bleeding out , some were twisted and mauled beyond recognition as Damien carried out his reign of justice . Damien had just finished dismembering a child predator when he heard someone approaching from behind him .

Without any hesitation, he spun around and threw a knife at them. Silence filled th air before the figure emerged from the shadows , knife caught skillfully between their fingers with a stark face . Arima stood before Damien with a cold look.

" You're as messy as a ghoul , almost like them," he states coolly before throwing the knife back Damien's way . Damien dodges it and sends the man a glare . " You," He seethes as he unsheathes both katnas . " Me," Arima confirms as he pushes his hands into his coat. " Why?" Damien spits out . "Why them.." he pleads.

Arima stares at him blankly. " They're like any other ghoul in my world. They're monsters that deserve to die , a monster that had to be put down, " he finishes. A breeze blow between them, and Damien feels himself giving in to blood thirst.

" THEY WERE A GOOD PERSON," he said defensively as tears began slipping down his cheeks. Arima says nothing for a moment and just stares at him . " Damien , sooner or later, they'd become a danger to your universe when they eventually gave in to their urges " he says with a matter of fact tone.

Damien lunges at him , ready to dehead him, but Aima kicks him into a building with heavy force . Damien let's out a pained groaned as rubble crumble upon him like a tidal wave . " They would never eat humans," Damien says as he struggled onto his feet .

Arima simply adjusts his glasses . " They won't but that ghoul inside them would of." Damien lunges after him again, but Arima blocks him with his hand. " People like them are made into monsters." Arima starts as he blocks another one of Damien's jabs . " People like them would pray to God every night and cry their lungs out asking the world why they are the way they are," he continues as he continues dodging Damien's attempts to kill him.

Damien gets angrier the more he speaks and the more he dodges and attempts to pierce Arima in his eye like he did with them but arima simply holds his blade in a tight grip and kicks the other out of his hold sending it flying elsewhere. " There is no hope for people like them but death," Arima says as he stares into Damiens' eyes . Damien curses him out, but Arima ignores him.

" Tell me , you claim to love them so dearly, yet you hurt them more than I ever could that night." Arima finshes before he throws Damien against a wall . This time , Damien couldn't get up , he's too tired, too sore, too beaten - all he could do was cry pathetically.

" I didn't - I never hurt them i-" he stammered. Arima stares at him , " You did , you kill all of those people - curse them for cruelty they never deserved - tell me - you loved them so dearly - you know they hate seeing death so why taint their soul with the death of so many , " Arima finishes before he disappears into the abyss leaving Damiens broken body to weep alone .

" I didn't- I did it for them , I did it for them , all for them - I- love them - i still do - I- y/n my beloved you know I mean good - your big brother was just protecting you , I still am - my precious sibling I'll fix everything -" Damien says between broken sobs . In that very moment , his bruised hand picks up his discarded knife and pierces his own eye with it .

" Don't worry sibling - they don't understand my intentions - they don't get what I've done for you " He stammered as his blood bleeds down his figure . Damien lays there broken , swearing to avenge them over and over like a broken record .

At that moment, Batman landed on the nearby building before his gaze lands on Damien's broken father. Batman immediately grapples to his son - immediately phoning Alfred for an ambulance. " Damien, what have you done " Batman questions as he picks up his son's broken figure.

" Justice, father," Damien replies with a smile . Ambulance wails in the distance as they approach closer. " No , Damien, you became something they would never want , a monster," Batman says as he grapples them away .

Pt. 4 or do yall want more on their relationship???

I have a lot of random ideas but sadly I'm not creative enough to make them 😢

-👻 anon

Same here man 😭😭

OMG TY 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️

I HATE SPIDER LILLES

angst . gore . wip

summary : a lonesome child dies while a neglectful father loses himself to guilt and grief.

My body bleeds black as it eagerly gushes out my chest . The blade glistens in the faint moonlight - it looks so angelic , so beautiful as it lodges itself deeper into my chest . I want to cry - cry out to the world , cry out to everyone , cry out to them . There are so many questions, yet no answers . Why doesn't Daddy love me like he does to everyone else ? Why did my mummy have to leave me behind ? Why did my brothers have to ignore me ? Why does everyone hate me ?

It's unfair - so unfair that I have to die all alone in this cold , bleak night while they are wrapped in Daddy's warm arms - shielded from Gotham unwavering doom. My eyes strain as they stare out into the darkness- hopeful and naive searching for someone to save me from myself . Tears stream begin to stream down my cheeks as it dawns on me that no one was coming , that daddy and older brothers don't want to save me .

" I'm sorry daddy - I'll do better - I'll be better daddy , I'm sorry I disappoint you alot , I'm sorry I'm not strong enough daddy but - I can do it - I can be strong like jayjay - I can be smart like tim papa I promise - just gimme a chance daddy I can be like them - I can be fast like dick and I could be perfect like damian daddy please - please save me daddy please it - it hurts so much please ". I cry out but no one responds to me .

I let out a pathetic cry - was it too much ? Too selfish to plead for my daddy to save me from this cruelness ? Was I too weak ? Too imperfect for his perfect world ? Was I so forgetful , so useless to him that I deserved to die a painful , agonizing death ? Had I wronged my daddy by simply breathing ? Another painful cry leaves my trembling mouth - yet again questions left unanswered .

A spider lily blooms from the inside of my chest - practically weaving itself around the blade . My bloody , swollen hands reach to cup it like a desperate man would for water on a scorching desert. The petals are soft to touch - almost feather like . Is this what mummy's touch was supposed to feel like ? Soft? Warm ? Comforting? Its pungent scent invaded my senses - my body high on its vanilla like scent -

How sick , how cruel can death be ? How can it be so cold , so painful yet so warm and welcoming at the same time ? Was I always doomed to succumb to my own failure? Had my own brother predicted my downfall when he called me a failure and a waste of Wayne resources ?

Was I always doomed to die ? Did God hate me so much that he blessed my brother with a person to mourn him but left me without ? Another question left unanswered . More red spider lilies begin to bloom around me , swallowing me whole and for once - I give in - I embrace it for what does a child whom has experienced nothing from her own family left to embrace ?

I swallow another choked hiccup back - even now when certain death is about to consume me - I still bottle my feelings in fear of burdening others, even monstrous death himself. Spider lillies began to sprout from my own flesh .

Blood coating its red petals - like a wet blanket, its ire iron smell masks the once sweet vanilla scent . The flowers practically tear through my flesh , lovingly discarding my tissue about like confetti. It's painful, mummy , so painful, daddy - please save me - anyone please save me . I'm sorry for being me daddy - I promise to be better - I promise I'll be someone else anyone, Daddy, just make it stop .

My mouth opens to scream, but nothing comes out - nothing but another spider, lily - this time it's pure white . It sways it the wind like an enchanted being , a pure - untouched angel , an ethereal being spreading its soft love for all . The wind proudly ruffles through its prestine petals - a silent kiss of farewell from God , a kiss coaxing them to a far away land promising of a sweet , quiet , painless life. My dull eyes stare back into the abyss , this time, it's glassy , detached - its owner no longer belongs here , in fact they never had .

My eyes slowly closed in on themselves for the last time . Such a slow, pitiful death for a little girl . Left the world all alone and cold with no mummy and daddy to mourn her - no one to cry for her , no one to remember her . Such a sad faith for a little girl .

Bruce stares at name's dead body - guilt eats him alive as before him, his daughter's corpse lays on a plastic cover , cold and unmoving. He can feel bile crawling up his stomach as his mind digests how beyond mauled his daughter body looks .

His poor , innocent daughter lays there , and her once olive tone complexion turned into a sick ghostly pale . His shaky hands reach out towards her, unsure - how shameful is it that this was the first time he's embraced her in ten years ? He embraces her like a lifeline - like a drowning man would to a drifting raft in a vast ocean.

His worn hands traced the black , jaggered blade lodged in her chest - his eyes then dart to the spiraling spider lilly that wraps around it - as if this was some gift . How could such brutality present itself to be beautiful? How can it try to mask to horror of her heart torn into half with faux beauty ? He feels so angry - angry with the world , angry with himself - angry at her because how could she leave him - how dare she leave him in this cruel world with nothing but her cold corpse?

.

He tries to rattle his brain of any fond memories of you both to mourn over and nothing come up - his brain is blank and a delusional part of him wants to blame the fact he's in shock but the little rational part of him left picks at him for the lack of time and love he gave to you.

He wants to desperately go back in time - eight hours ago to stop you and Tim from a bitter argument , to go back and stop Damian from utter harsh words , to go back in time to simply love you like he should of , to go back in time to comfort himself when he got the call from Gordon telling him they found your dead body in an back ally thanks to the neighbors complaining about a disgusting smell.

He desperately wants to go back and fix everything but he knows he can't- what's done is done and now he has to live with the brutality of your death engraved in him forever , live with the reality he's failed you and you won't come back.

He looks down at the red spider lilies that sprout from around and from you - he feels them mocking him - laughing at him because they got to surround you , in your final moments , got to cherish you like a loving family, - got to be with you. Something he can only dream of.

He grips your dead corpse closer , practically encasing you with his entire being . Hot tears flow down his cheek, and he begins mumbling. Sorry, and I love you's, but what good is it talking and apologizing to a corpse when you had the real living thing all your life ? From that moment on - Bruce hates himself for what's happen , blames himself for your death- for your neglect and most of all he's grown to hate spider lilies because he blames them for taking you away from him and his family.

Bruce dislodges the blade from your chest , your inky , black blood coats it like a fountain pen . He grips onto the blade' handle , knuckles going white and strained the more he stares at it . He carefully places it in a plastic container and pockets it immediately - he doesn't trust the GGPD with finding out what happened with you , doesn't trust them handling your corpse with the utmost care and live that you deserved to have .

His face hovers over your open chest , he cringes at the scent of your corpse rottening, and the iron smell of your spilled blood . He rests his face on your wound carefully - scared he hurts you even more than he already did . His cheek collides with your cold flesh and dried blood, and it's there he mourns you over your broken heart - it is here he allows himself to be vulnerable with you - allows himself to shed hot tears . He pulls you in closer , hands embracing you for the first and last time .

He wants to say so many things, but nothing pours out of his mouth . How utterly pathetic , how cruel , how unfair - why , why must even in his last moment with you - he can not express himself , cannot express the fatherly love he feels for you . Angry hot tears cascade down his face - so angry , so blatantly disappointed in himself that he's failed you again and again .

He holds you like that the entire night into the early , wee hours of the mourning until a tired Alfred had to pry him off you.

" Master Bruce, please," Alfred pleads as he holds onto Bruce's crumbling figure . Alfred feels a wave of de ja vulnerable in case he looks at your corpse and back at Bruce - everything is the same way it was the night Martha and Thomas died - just this time Bruce is distraught beyond repair and instead of delicate pearls scattered about , it's your own flesh , blood and spider lillies .

He swallows back as he takes in your corpse - he feels so guilty - he knows he could of done more - knows that he could prevent you from feeling more alone and hurt than you already did but instead of prevention he was the enabler.

" She's gone Alfred - gone - she's not - she's never coming back home." Bruce cries out, pained and strained as he looks back at Alfred - pain clearly etched into his features .

Alfred is left speechless when he watches the police put away your corpse into a plastic baggy and transfers in the into the back of a van . He eyes Gordon, closing the door shut and entering the vehicle - barking orders to his officers .

" She - she deserves better," Alfred finally murmurs . Silence drafts between them as they watched the van and other police cars take off - their sirens echoing down the quiet mouring of Gotham .

Bruce's eyes follow them until they're out of his eyesight before looking Alfred in his eyes , " I am going to find whoever did this to her and break them," he says with finality. Alfred looks at him - realky looks at him and a part of him wants to agree with him - that you deserve justice- another part of him screams at him that they were the true cause of your despair - that it was hypocrite of Bruce and himself to feel this way when they caused this.

Alfred nods, and both men walk to the parked limo - determined to fix things - to bring you back home - to shower you with love and warmth - to hold you like the precious flower that you are .

Don't worry, beloved name , daddy would fix things - daddy will bring you back, sweet girl.

Bruh.. Went to school at 10am and then I got home at 8pm 🤙

-👻

WHY SO LATE ?