Me, Making Myself A Salad At 3 A.m. Before Going Back To Study Until Sunrise: Is THIS How Aizawa Feels

i love when curiosity drives me to see what's going on in the more obscure hypothetically Problematique ship tags of a fandom (incest pairings and the like), and almost invariably i find very little fic but the fic that does exist is always like, over a dozen works written singlehandedly by one Extremely Dedicated Pervert. we need to cherish these people. support your fandom's local pervert today they're a load-bearing part of the ecosystem

Okay but Jimbei is like, an old pirate. Joining the Strawhats is basically his retirement job. He’s like “ugh man I’ve been doing all this political maneuvering for decades it’s so exhausting” and Luffy pops up like “wow lame wanna join my Funtime crew instead? I’ll let you punch whoever you want” and Jimbei’s like yeah. I do want that actually.

me, after leaning that been absolutely drained after most of the social interaction to the point where i can't properly function and been in my own head 24/7 is not in fact been introverted and nerdy: oh, who would've guessed

okay real question here: does aizawa clean his clothes from cat's fur or does he just leave it there because he doesn't care?

Reasons why crocodile would find dragon gaining weight to be hot

-Dragon has more energy now, he is still inclined to take a nap in late afternoon but he no longer has that weariness anymore

- He is ideal for winter/winter climates, very warm, great for cuddling perfect for irate reptiles

- You can squish his cheeks (both sets)

- He has an ass now, Crocodile can’t believe he was deprived of such a perfect ass for so many years

- his hair is a thicker and healthier, very soft

- his ass

- Dragon is Crocodiles personal weighted blanket

- He has a muffin top and belly that Crocodile can paw at (it’s very effective for curbing his stress)

- Crocodile can use the new fat around Dragons hips as handholds to *ahem* rail his husband harder than a freight train

- his ass

- Dragon can fuck Crocodile against the wall now

- Dragon usually cooks dinner

Things Crocodile hates about Dragon gaining weight

- Dragon is heavier than him but carries it differently so he looks skinnier (think strong man vs rugby player) crocodile has more of a barrel chest

Dragon's a little over where he was way back in his mid thirties. Before the assassination attempt, to further clarify.

Crocodile had not been around for the attack, nor the steep decline in Dragon's health that came after. Iva tells him it was bad. Kuma probably would have, too, had he been able to.

After the violent course correction that had been that Straw Hat hellion (his Straw Hat hellion, apparently), and a few months in Level Six, Crocodile finally deigned to pay the rebel a visit.

No, he hadn't been putting it off, don't ask stupid questions. No, he was not scared, shut your mouth, Daz!

Hearing about it and seeing it were very different things.

It was... Whatever Iva had told him? It was worse than that.

He looked sickly. Like a stiff breeze could topple him. Like a mild cold could warrant a medical emergency. He was thin... Gods, was he thin...

Worse still, he wasn't... it's like he wasn't even him anymore. The molten hot determination that had first swayed him over only flickered to life here and there, otherwise it was nonexistent. He kept himself wrapped up tight in that ridiculous cloak, like he was hiding in it. The Dragon he knew never hid around friends and colleagues, let alone him...

Because that's the first thing the idiot did, of course.

Ran away in a whirlwind that didn't have half the strength as he remembered it did.

Well, tough luck. Crocodile knew him like the back of his one hand, and knew his haki signature even more intimately than that. He couldn't hide from him, so why even try? Did the idiot not know how much that stung?

Up close and personal, it was somehow even worse.

Age and stress did things to a man, of course, but this was another monster entirely. He looked... dead. His eyes were distant, almost glassy, like he wasn't even there.

"Are you going to say anything, or am I going to have to do the talking?"

See, Crocodile had a bit of an aggression problem. It bled into so much of his personality that really, it was was difficult for some to tell what exactly he was feeling. He never addressed it, nor was he ever like to, because it had its uses.

His concern had teeth, and he needed to sink them in quick before Dragon got away again.

"I can't talk much."

That was... different. No, not the not being able to talk much thing. Words just didn't want to happen sometimes. His voice was different. Low, painfully rough, all broken up and monotonous. Was he sick?

He caught himself reaching out to check for a fever when Dragon shied away. The motion bared his throat just a little more. Crocodile could see the thin edge of a scar disappearing like the tail of a silvery pink snake just beneath orange fabric.

"What the hell happened to you, Ryu?"

A lot. A lot had happened to him.

A lot to find the strength to come to terms with. A lot to find the will to heal from.

Recovering took a damn long time, and you'd think winning this gods forsaken war would have made it easier, but no. It had almost killed the man. Why did the world even need him anymore if the war was won, that sort of existential despair and whatnot...

But Crocodile was a stubborn bastard, and him being a stubborn bastard made Dragon a stubborn bastard, and it made reigniting that zest for life a little bit easier. Slow, yes, but dry cedar, gasoline, and a spark was just destruction for the sake of a big, bright flame. Dragon didn't need that. It's part of what had lead him to this mess to begin with.

Low and slow. A bed of embers chewing on a steady diet of hardwood, given a little stoke here and there. That's what Dragon needed, innuendo aside.

And now here he was, strolling along the beach. standing tall (the audacity) and strong and- dare Crocodile say it- plush. He looks warm and radiant as the sunset at their backs, the fiery golds catching in his dark eyes like amber. He's happier and healthier than he's ever known him, and Crocodile is probably going to pin him to the wall of their home the second the door closes behind them.

Unless Dragon is going to be doing the pinning. This new lease on life has very much made him more assertive with these things.

projecting my height diff obsession onto sanji? absolutely

the reason why I'm so in love with league of villains is pretty simple. they are all freaking losers

dabi:

- theatre kid

- has terrible skin

- embodiment of daddy issues

shigaraki:

- gamer

- has terrible skin

- and definitely issues with parental figure

toga:

- a little bit hyperfixated high school fangirl

- probably writes fics about herself and uraraka (and occasionally izuku)

- she has a good skin tho i give her that

- and mommy issues

twice:

- his character arc is build on the fact that he's loser

spinner:

- the guy is basically a lizard

- knowing his love for stain i would say that he has watch To Much of true crime

mr. compress:

- embodiment of old school gay man

- pretty stylish gay man i can respect that

kurogiri:

- Tired Guardian Figure (TM)

ngl i absolutely love some of the hero and support characters *intensive stare at hatsume* but those freaks speak with me in a whole new level

they're pathetic little fuckers and (not to be dramatic) i would die for them and their dynamic

'what's for dinner today?'

'kacchan'

Au fucking revoir Mister Prince

poor law is experiencing horrors and the horrors are members of monkey d. family

Mini mingo and mini cora are absolutely adorable and perfect, and i cant stop imagining law’s reaction to them and the ✨implications✨ of them being twins lmaoo

Poor Law.