I Recently Discovered Your Blog, And Love It!. I Was Just Wondering; How Do You Get In To The Lifestyle?

Who Knew “Just Watching” Could Be So Much Fun?

To Those Men Who Want To Watch Or Enjoy Watching Their Wife With Someone Else:

Until recently it’s been the prevailing opinion that the desire to want your wife to be fucked by someone else makes you a weak man…a pathetic & effeminate loser who lets his wife do whatever she wants to him.

But we know now that’s not true, is it?

Thanks to pioneers like @stagnationhw , @hotwivesandgames, @allaboutthehotwifelife, @oursexyexploration, and many others—we know now that there exists throngs of other men who have the desire of wanting to share their wives, sans any humiliation*. These other men are strong, independent, masculine, & secure. 

*no judgment or shade towards men who do like humiliation

We know for them that it’s not about letting your wife walk all over you because she can and because you’re too “weak” to control her, no…

Rather it’s about giving your assent, your consent, your “permission”, your encouragement and support to her so she can embrace her inner naughty side… the “darker” or “sluttier” shades of her sexuality, so to speak.

It’s about being secure enough in yourself and who you are, in your relationship with your wife and with what the two of you share so that you can identify and embrace and explore this desire you have.

For you, it’s not about weakness. It’s about strength.

It’s not about getting walked on; it’s about not being afraid to walk on the path less trodden.

It’s not about a lack of choice; it’s about a willing decision.

You’re a Stag, a Stag Cuckold, a Hotwife Husband. You are what you choose to call yourself. 

But what’s more is that you’re more of a man than those who criticize and judge your desires and choices because of their own fears and insecurities.

I say fuck closemindedness, and fuck the outdated Puritanical constraints society tries to impose upon you and shackle down your desires.

I say embrace them, because that’s what being strong is all about!

Great advice

We're young, and I really do think she's the one, but that makes me worried I'd ruin things by being open about wanting to see her fuck someone else. I know it's kind of contradictory, like if we are meant to be our relationship should be fine after experimenting with sharing, but it's still tough getting the balls to admit it to her.

Most hotwife blogs will tell you not to go through with it given those feelings, but this is not a hotwife blog. I think a little bit of jealousy is hot. And when two dudes are grunting away like a couple of cavemen to satisfy one vixen, I think it’s arousing.

So you don’t want to look weak right? Trust me, if you say something like,

“I think it would be hot competing for you against other alpha males. I would love to prove to you why you married me over and over again. I like the thought of putting you on a pedestal and I feel a flutter of excitement and jealousy when I catch guys looking at you.”

Now stop being a pussy and go eat your wife’s.

#want to share her

Bravo

Memes are NOT real life…

Can we make an effort to create and promote better lifestyle content?

I’m tired of seeing all these repetitive posts with the same unrealistic Hotwife captions that are clearly written by porn-addicted men. No woman is telling strangers to “fill their slutty married pussy with hot cum”. I get that most people come to these blogs for fantasy, but it’s really damaging to actual couples who dabble in the lifestyle. It sets unrealistic expectations and creates a pool of unqualified suitors when real couples are looking for another man to join them.

No, a Hotwife is not a cum dump.

No, a Hotwife does not fuck anyone with a big dick.

No, a Hotwife is not just a fuck toy for your pleasure.

No, a Hotwife does not fuck some one else every chance she gets.

I’d love to see more blogs create realistic images and captions that reflect real relationships.

*rant over*

Great advice!

Looking to get my gf into the lifestyle or even just open up more sexually without telling her outright, any tips would be welcome!

Show her you love her.

not just in your words, but in your actions too. buy her flowers, buy her a card for no reason, help her around the house, and don’t forget to tell her you love her. Both men and women need to hear “I love you.”

Build her confidence.

Compliment her, tell her she is beautiful, tell her she looks nice in certain outfits, etc. If she has a nice ass, tell her. If she has great tits, tell her.It is important that the compliments are sincere. She will know if you are faking it.  During sex tell her how good it feels, how good she feels, how good she tastes. Tell her how good she is at sucking dick or how good her pussy feels.

Make her feel safe.

She has fantasies, even if she does not tell them to you or says she doesn’t. Open up about something you have never shared. She her it is safe. You’re together and you’re not going to judge each other.

Be honest.

If she asks you a question, no matter how embarrassing or hard the answer is, be honest. Trust is key to a woman’s ability to open up sexually.

Share some porn.

Text her a sexy picture or see if she will watch a porno with you. This is a great way to introduce kinks or to get the conversation started.

TALK.

After you have watched some porn or shared a few tumblr pics, flirt and tease about them. See if she is receptive. If she resists, back off and try again at another time. Once you plant the seed, water it from time to time and her mind will do the rest. She may be into some of the same things, but like you she does not know hot to bring them up. Crack the door for her.

You may need to do these steps for a several months before she starts to feel secure enough to open up, so have patience. If you rush it or try to force it, she will retreat. Remember your relationship should always come before sexual fantasies. Our fantasies are part of who we are, but we all guard them for fear of judgment or rejection. It is YOUR job to take those fears away from her and provide the environment she needs to relax and let go of her fears.

I hope this helps and good luck.

sharedwifedesires.tumblr.com

Interesting note

How come u guys don't get jealous? When I truly love and value someone I don't want to share them. And it'd offend me if my lover didn't love me enough to feel the same way.

Unfortunately that’s a hard question to answer. If you’re not a swinger it’s hard to explain how it feels. We were the same. People would tell us that it brought you closer together and made you love each other more. That was incomprehensible to us how watching someone else with your partner could possibly be a good thing. But we eventually found ourselves in that situation and they were right! Our bond got stronger! Our sex was better! It was a turn on watching each other give and receive pleasure! It’s progressed to a stage now that we swap partners and sleep with them in separate rooms for the night. Then we swap stories the next day and have amazing sex!

Defining things... naming is inherent to human nature; here a set of definitions worth to be shared in order to get a better understanding.

Terms & Definitions:

Swingers: Typically a couple in which both partners are allowed to engage in sexual activities with other men and women outside of their relationship, often referred to as “full swap.”

Hotwife:  A wife who has her husband’s permission to engage in sexual activities with other men. Also the term used to describe the fantasy with the same scenario. In this relationship all extra marital activities are approved of by the husband. Trust, respect, and the couple’s love for each other are central to the relationship.

Cuckold: A man in a relationship with a woman who engages in sexual activities with other men and women outside of their relationship, usually with a level of cheating and or humiliation. -Cuckolding

Cuckoldress: The female half of a cuckold relationship. A woman who engages in sex with men other than her husband, usually imposing a level humiliation on her husband about her extra marital activities.

Vixen: One term used to describe a woman in a Hotwife relationship.

Stag: One term used to describe a strong male figure in a Hotwife relationship.

Cucky: A humiliating term used to describe a man in a cuckold relationship.

Bull: The name often given to a wife’s repeat lover in a hotwife or cuckold arrangement

Reclaim: A term used to describe the passionate sex couples often experience the first time they have sex after one of them has has sex with someone outside of their relationship.

Hall Pass: Often used to describe a onetime “free pass” given to one of the members in a relationship to enjoy one sexual encounter with a person outside of the relationship.

Half Open Marriage: Used to describe a relationship in which one member of the relationship has the other‘s permission to enjoy complete sexual freedom, while the one remains completely faithful.

Shared Wife: A wife whose husband “shares” her sexually with other men.

MFM: A three some involving two men and one woman. In this arrangement the men are straight and focus on the woman.

MMF: A three some involving two men and one woman in which the men are bi-sexual and engage in sexual activities with each other as well as the woman.

FMF: A three some involving two women and one man. In this arrangement the women are straight and focus on the man.

FFM: A three some involving two women and one man in which the women are bi-sexual and engage in sexual activities with each other as well as the man.

Humiliation: A sexual kink which usually involves the woman verbally abusing the man about his inadequacies and inability to satisfy her, most often because of his penis size or his lack of stamina.  

Tease and Denial: One partner sexually teases and leads the other on, only to get them excited and then deny them sexual gratification.

Edging: Binging a person right to the edge of orgasm and then slowing or stopping sexual activities thus denying them the pleasure of orgasm.

Ruined Orgasm: Bringing a person right to the point of orgasm, and then stopping resulting in a weak orgasm. This is usually achieved through the use of oral sex or masturbation.

SPH: Small Penis Humiliation, verbal abuse used to humiliate a man about his lack of length and or girth.

Male Chastity: A kink in which the man is most often secured in a chastity device, referred to as a cock cage, and is denied the pleasures of sexual intercourse as well as masturbation.  Couples who engage in this kink often try to push the boundaries of how long the man can go without sexual release. This fetish often includes a level of humiliation as well.

Cock Cage: A metal or plastic device which locks to secure the penis. It is used impede the man’s ability to masturbate as well as achieve a full erection without being release by his key holder.

Key Holder: Most often the wife of a man confined to a cock cage. The key holder has full authority over the man’s ability to and the frequency of orgasms allowed. Often the key holder will use time in the cock cage as a punishment for her dissatisfaction with something the man has said or done.

Pegging: Used to describe a fetish in which the female uses a sex toy or strap on to perform anal sex on her male partner.

Wife Breeding: A fetish in which the wife is involved in unprotected sex with men other than her husband. The men ejaculate in the wife, thus presenting the possibility of pregnancy by men other than the husband.

Clean Up: An activity in which the man cleans up a woman after she has had sex with another man. Most often this is done after a lover has ejaculated into the woman’s vagina and the woman’s partner performs oral sex on her licking up as much of the other man’s sperm as possible.

Sloppy Seconds: A term used to describe the act of having sex with a woman after she has already had sex with another man. Most often after the first man has ejaculated inside of the woman’s vagina creating a “sloppy” situation for the second man.

Size Queen: A woman who prefers man with very large penises. Often with minimum size requirements which must be met before she will engage in sexual intercourse with a man.

BBC: Big Black Cock, used to describe the oversized penis of a black man.

BWC: Big White Cock, used to describe the oversized penis of a white man.

Queen Of Spades: The name sometimes given to a white woman who prefers sex with black men, often with above average penises.

Muy buena desambiguación de terminos.

Gracias por compartirla.

Tengo una curiosidad... ¿por que siempre q hablan de un cornudo nos tratan como si fuéramos todos maricas o si tenemos él pene pequeño o solo q no podemos hacer gemir a nuestras mujeres?yo tengo un buen pene, hago disfrutar a mi mujer pero me excita verla coger o que me cuente que a cogido sólo eso y ya

Esta es una Excelente pregunta, que genera confusión constantemente a muchos cornudos.. Lo primero a resaltar es que mi blog es de temática COCKOLD..

El termino CUCKOLD es una palabra en ingles que su traducción literal es cornudo, hace referencia un hombre (macho beta) que no es agraciado sexualmente (pene pequeño, eyaculador precoz, sumiso, muchas veces bisexual, etc) que disfruta de ver a su pareja teniendo sexo con otros hombres mas fuertes y mejor dotados (machos alpha) por que sabe que el no puede satisfacerla sexualmente y saber que su mujer es deseada por estos machos alphas es algo que le excita, muchas veces el macho beta acepta con gusto ser sumiso del macho alpha por que disfruta de esta humillación.

Existe otro termino el STAG este palabra en ingles literalmente significa “ciervo” pero hace referencia a alguien que también es un cornudo. la diferencia es que se refiere a un hombre bien dotado, dominante y capaz de satisfacer plenamente a su mujer osea es un macho alpha que disfruta compartir su mujer  con otros machos alphas por que esto significa que su mujer es deseada por todos . Esto le genera satisfacción, morbo y excitación, pero por ser un macho alpha con carácter dominante muchas veces no hay interacción sexual con el amante ni humillación pues no disfrutan de esto ultimo.

En español tanto la palabra CUCKOLD como STAG la traducción correcta para ambas seria “cornudo” por eso es complicado de diferenciar y genera confusion, pero yo seria un cornudo cuckold pues me identifico con la primera descripción y tu serias un cornudo stag pues encajas con la segunda.

Existen blog totalmente STAG, puedes buscarlos y te aseguro que te sentirás mas identificados con ellos, Saludos y espero haber resuelto tu duda.

Great advice

Thank you

Hi!!! As a couple, were you always at the same page... Specially in sex?? If not, what do you think is a good thing to bring back "that" feeling?

We have been together for over two decades, so we have been all over the pages at times. The thing that keep us getting to same page is open communication and really listening what the other has to say. We try to focus on our common goal = to be together and have awesome sex. Basic things like instead of judging the other, we tell what our needs are and really listening when the other is expressing them. Good exercise is to sit with an eye contact and ask the other “tell me in two minutes how you want be loved” and then just listen and then you switch turns. The book that we have mentioned several times in our blog “Tantric Secrets for Men: What Every Woman Will Want Her Man to Know about Enhancing Sexual Ecstasy” by Kerry Riley. has played a big part in getting back to “that feeling” and way beyond. It is not just about sexual ecstasy, but it has helped a lot on the communication and connection. Communication and Connection equals better and more frequent sex. ;) We usually make love two to three times a day, because we love each other and really enjoy to intimate connection. - Sunshine and SexMagic

Other good definition

How it started, tnks 4 sharing