Reblog If You Usually Block People Who ‘try To Divert The Conversation Away From’ Rape And Real Life

Okay, but you forgot to mention if it worked. Did it work?

I didn’t realise this until adulthood but handmade birthday piñatas are the apex of parental devotion. I spent the week cooking for my ravenous teenage cousins and felt a bit crestfallen at times that I was spending so long making something that was going to disappear within minutes—but with piñatas it’s so much worse, they exist to be savagely maimed. Year after year my father asked his kids what shape they wanted this year’s piñatas to be and he spent weeks painstakingly making them in the basement after work, only to watch a bunch of oversugared bat-wielding kids gleefully destroy them in less than 10 minutes. 

I mentioned this to him and he said he remembered researching tarantula anatomy for the giant spider piñata I asked for when I was 4, trying to make the fangs the right shape and to cut the crepe paper into very thin ribbons so the thing would look appropriately fuzzy, and I was like “and I don’t even remember it because I was four!! spending so long building a beautiful object only so your kids will have fun destroying it, knowing they won’t even remember it, is such a selfless endeavour” and he said “my other motivation was that you said you wanted the spider to look real & scary so the kids at your birthday party would be terrified of it and you’d get to scoop up all the candy and I wanted to support your slyness & ambition”

Update:

My hysterectomy will be laparoscopic. I knew this from the beginning but did not realize until my most recent consultation that this means they will pull the uterus out in small pieces.

So no glass uterus in my future as my surgeon and I agree that, “It’s for art tho” is not a good enough reason to cut a huge whole though my abdominal wall and muscles.

And it’s also not worth the paperwork and hassle to get the shredded remains of my uterus back from the hospital. Although I do have another 3 months to think of something I might do with them.

The heart project was also never going to involve a human heart, btw.

Eventually I'm going to need some hearts and uteri for my glass art. I can't source the organs from dissection kits or anything like that because you don't want to 'cook' formaldehyde or other preservation chemicals. And I had no idea where I could get uteri from. Thanks to that goat bone ask I realized I can source from butchers / farmers in my area. I think my ask is weirder! Super thanks to you and goat bone anon!

This ask is DEFINITELY WEIRDER but congrats on realizing where you can get some fresh organs, weirdo!!!

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I absolutely can not stress how horrific this was and also how extremely bizarre for this type of show.

The medic: Like on a scale of one to ten?

Thiago: It probably hit the bone.

The medic: Ah.

He seriously looks like he’s about to cry when the EMT says he can’t stop the bleeding.

Someone in a black chef’s uniform is sitting next to him, holding his glass of water, saying, “Don’t worry about your team, this is the priority. You gotta keep your finger, okay?”

Then he does start crying and we get some really intense close ups.

He tells his teammates what’s going on, he walks up (crying) and just says, “bad”. And a teammate says, “Like, you have to go, bad?” and that’s when we get, “It’s like... dangling”. I just really feel like the show runners could have had someone else let his teammates know what’s going on.

Chocolate guy walks him out saying, “Someone is going to take you to the hospital, okay?” Like set aside the fact that they could have absolutely paused the challenge or restarted it later, but if they’re not going to do that I think there’s something more kind and supportive he could have said.

One of his other team members is real choked up, but they only show her describing that the chocolate sculpture was Thiago’s idea. It cuts away and then cuts back to them and they say, “My heart just sank”. I’m fairly certain the original context didn’t have to do with not knowing how to continue the sculpture without Thiago.

Chocolate guy informs the rest of Thiago’s team that they don’t know how long he will be gone and that the two of them can choose between two other people to help them continue.

The music suddenly switches to something upbeat and the other team member has a voice over that goes, “And I’m like, ‘thank god!’“ and she laughs. I did not like that moment.

The music continues to be so inappropriate as the substitute jumps in.

The show returns to usual.

Oh no! Another team’s chocolate has set! The person in charge of said pot of chocolate reacts way less calmly to this predicament than Thiago did to cutting his finger.

Thiago comes back at the start of the next episode once the competition is over. Chocolate guy asks him, “You still have motion? You still have nerves?” And Thiago goes, “yup, yup” and then Chocolate guy says, “You’re lucky, you have to be a little crazy to be a chef right?”

I’m a huge fan of blown away and I can not imagine anything similar happening on that show. Glass blowing is so very dangerous and the people on the show have so much experience that I think they would call out nonsense like this.

I also wonder how much Corning Glass, who provides a first place prize, would get a say in the cut of an episode. I don’t think they would want to be associated with a show where the show runner, an expert in the field, would brush off a serious injury with something like, “you have to be a little crazy to be a glass blower, right?”

every time I see the tiktok chocolate guy I remember watching his cooking competition, which had absolutely life changing career opportunities for the winners, where one contestant almost cut his finger off during a timed round and was literally forced to choose between keeping his finger by going to the emergency room and losing points, or losing his finger to try and finish the round while covered in blood for a chance at the grand prize. he lost points for going to the emergency room. after he bled everywhere and left to go get his finger reattached, the show runners refused to stop the timed round even though all the contestants were clearly horrified

Incorrect.

“If, however, you’re a trans woman who has had bottom surgery to create a vagina (vaginoplasty) and possibly a cervix, there’s a very small risk that you can develop cancer in the tissues of your neo-vagina or neo-cervix.”

Which is from the first result when you google, “trans woman vaginoplasty cervix”.

I am relaying what the surgeon who will preform my hysterectomy told me because my cervix will be removed and I will be given a neo cervix. He actually called it a “plug”. But I find that idea a little gross and so just described its purpose.

Also, the cervix dilates to allow menstrual fluid to pass out of the uterus. Crap enters the vagina that doesn’t belong in the uterus. That same crap also does not belong in the abdominal cavity. So surgeons don’t just leave the vaginal canal uncapped or “plugged”. Whether or not they just sew it shut or create a neo cervix depends.

Trans women who have had surgery still need to visit the urologist, not the gynecologist, because the former is familiar with our surgeries and the latter is not. You need to stop lying and spreading misinformation which could get someone killed.

Wow, everything you said is completely wrong. So it's very funny that you think my 'misinformation' is going to 'get someone killed'. That hyperbole is fear mongering and also that's just a really aggressive way to speak to a complete stranger. Especially to accuse me of 'lying'.

So let me clear up your misunderstandings.

Firstly, urologist specialize in the urinary system, which include the bladder and kidneys and also the uterus. They aren't like the male version of gynecologists. For example, urologist treat organ prolapse, where the bladder, uterus, or colon "fall" into the vagina, or will treat fistulas, especially bladder fistulas. (Which is a hole connecting the bladder and vagina.)

Secondly, Vaginoplasties are preformed by reconstructive surgeons not urologist or gynecologist in the vast, vast majority of cases. Also, vaginoplasties are not a trans specific surgery. Severe vaginal injuries, such as those caused by childbirth or disease, are also treated with a vaginoplasty.

It's laughable any ol' off the shelf urologist is "familiar" with the surgery. Plenty of doctors still refuse to preform even the simplest trans-specific healthcare 'because it's not a usual part of their practice they are comfortable preforming' let alone complex reconstructive surgery.

But my original comment wasn't about vaginoplasties, it was about checking the cervix for cancer.

So, thirdly, trans women aren't the only women with neo-cervixies. In addition to the above, people who have undergone hysterectomies of one kind or another often have a neo-cervix as well. Or, for example, if someone has cervical cancer, and needs their cervix removed, they give that person another cervix.

Because the cervix is a very important part of that set of anatomy. It keeps the uterus and other organs from prolapsing (just falling out) and is also something of a barrier that keeps junk out of the uterus. And if you don't have a uterus, it keeps junk out of the abdominal cavity.

The procedure to check a cervix for cancer is the same regardless of if its a neo-cervix or a cervix-cervix.

Meaning, gynecologist are also familiar with the cervix aspect of a vaginoplasty. As well as the rest of the vaginoplasty. Because they treat people who've had vaginoplasties. So, you know, it's perfectly normal to go see a gynecologist to have your vagina looked at.

A basic pap smear is actually simple enough it can be done with an at home kit (though if anything needs to be biopsied they'll need you in the stirrups for that).

So uh, recommending you see a gynecologist for a vaginal specific issue isn't horribly dangerous misinformation, it isn't even misinformation. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.

If a surgeon made you a vagina, that surgeon should tell you what vagina problems to look out for, what health screening you need, and what specialists you should have preform those tests for you. They'll also likely be able to refer you to someone trans friendly if needed.

Getting an at home pap smear test from a general practitioner is not a big deal. There's no need to see a urologist for that. If you need your neo-cervix biopsied there's no reason not to go see a gynocologist since trans women aren't the only ones with neo cervix.

And also most urologist offices aren't going to have speculums and stirrups.

Trans health care is not some big secret only select medical disciplines are let in on.

A general practitioner can prescribe hormones and keep you up to date on the tests you need for that. A plastic surgeon with experience is going to preform the surgeries, MtF or FtM. A general practitioner can send you home with a pap smear kit, or preform one in the office, even. A gynecologist can look at your vagina, because it's not a special or trans exclusive vagina. A urologist can look at a urinary tract or bladder infection or what have you.

Acting like trans health care is some super secret complicated thing is transphobic. That's something transphobic doctors say as an excuse not to treat trans people.

A friend of mine had a complication develop after surgery and needed a local urologist to fix it. The long term fix was surgical, but the urologist could have drained the painful mass that developed while she traveled to see her surgeon. But he refused. So did the doctors at the Emergency Room.

So she got to enjoy a very painful very long very bumpy bus ride from her rural college to the city where her surgeon was so he could take care of it for her.

YOU'RE the one who needs to 'stop lying and spreading misinformation' because your misinformation perpetuates the excuse transphobic doctors use to avoid treating trans people at all.

It is not a trans need to have a painful surgical complication corrected and it is not complicated to drain an abscess. But that doctor refused her, not because the abscess was caused by an unfamiliar surgery, but because she required that surgery because she was trans.

You are telling trans people that our medical needs are complex and overwhelming and scary. That's discouraging. And it's just not true.

Urologist don't preform vaginoplasties. Urologist aren't extra familiar with trans women's health needs. The cervix isn't part of the Urologist's specialty.

Calm down. Going to see a gynecologist for a pap smear isn’t going to kill anyone. And the gynecology field as a whole is making an effort to be more welcoming to trans women because it’s perfectly normal for trans women to see a gynecologist.

This podcaster’s tried Meta’s version of this

https://www.relay.fm/cortex/140

And it actually wasn’t a disaster.

My favorite part of the very dumb "Apple Vision Pro" ad is this little scene:

Because, if we take this seriously for a moment, let's imagine what would actually be happening in the scene. The two woman are clearly supposed to be in a video call, dancing with each other from far away. Sweet!

Except, the woman in blue isn't wearing a headset. She is clearly using a laptop or a phone or some other camera, which is why we, and the woman in orange, can see her body and face.

So what would this scene look like from the woman in blue's perspective? Well, if the headset is a single product, the camera must be on or inside the headset so, at best, this is what she sees:

Yeah, this technology will really improve video calls! I can't wait!

My Gender: I’m going to dissect, stab, and pate de verre my uterus when I finally get a hysterectomy.

I did not know just how bad a deal this was until after scrolling past the poll, which is very fae. Anyway, my first thought was that a foot bone would be a decent one to lose.

Also there are no rules against doing the switch in an ER lobby.

Upon reflection, I wonder if the money being transferred immediately would fuck up my medicaid.

I saw this question posed on tiktok, but I think Tumblr would really enjoy it too.

If a fae creature offered to give one million dollars for a bone chosen at random, how many bones would you allow them to take?

Light clarifications; The fae is not the one choosing the bones. The bone is taken at random. Each bone, no matter the size or importance, is worth a full million dollars. You must also declare the exact number first, you can't go bone-by-bone. You either say 2 or you say 10, you can't work your way up to a higher number. The bones are removed instantaneously, and the money is given immediately as well. You will not get in government trouble for acquiring the money.

Tell me in the tags/replies how many bones you'd let the fae take. And as always, reblog for bigger sample size.

Also the original tweet never specifies straight or cisgender women. So. You know.

glad this guy is getting absolutely owned in the replies of this sexist and completely ahistorical tweet

Me when it's an hour past when I should go to bed

My house is never cleaner than when I have a deadline I don't want to deal with.

Like what's that? You want me to do this moderately easy but low-dopamine task? Guess I'll deep clean the back of the kitchen cupboards real quick...

Follow My Leader by James B Garfield is a book from my childhood I am very fond of. It's for ages 8 - 12. I haven't reread it as an adult so I don't know how it stands up.

It is about a boy who goes blind when he is playing with fire crackers with his friends. It follows him from his injury, to going through life skills camp, to getting a guide dog, and eventually dealing with a bully.

It was first published in 1957, 33 years before the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed into law. "The Braille Technology Timeline" doesn't start until 1971.

Despite this, I find myself thinking that if every child had read this book growing up there would be a lot (edit: LESS, forgot LESS) of internet bullshit along the lines of, “buT hOw Do yOU uSe a cEll pHonE iF yOu’Re bLinD”.

There have always been allies who care about people with disabilities, and, alongside them, have worked to improve access and accommodations as society presses forward. Blind people do not live cruel and unfulfilling lives trapped at home and deprived of the world and technology. The attitude that they do comes from a failure to see the support systems, including friends and family, which have been present from the beginning.

And that's my justification for continuing to deeply love and strongly recommend this book from 66 years ago.

The Disability Library

I love books, I love literature, and I love this blog, but it's only been recently that I've really been given the option to explore disabled literature, and I hate that. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to read about characters like me, and now as an adult, all I want is to be able to read a book that takes us seriously.

And so, friends, Romans, countrymen, I present, a special disability and chronic illness booklist, compiled by myself and through the contributions of wonderful members from this site!

As always, if there are any at all that you want me to add, please just say. I'm always looking for more!

Updated: 12/08/2023

Articles

The Drifting Language of Architectural Accessibility in Victor Hugo's Notre-Dame de Paris, Essaka Joshua, 2012

Early Modern Literature and Disability Studies, Allison P. Hobgood, David Houston Wood, 2017

Making Do with What You Don't Have: Disabled Black Motherhood in Octavia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, Anna Hinton, 2018

Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2003 OR Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2019

Wasted Lives: Modernity and Its Outcasts, Zygmunt Bauman, 2004

Witchcraft and deformity in early modern English Literature, Scott Eaton, 2020

Books

Fiction:

10 Things I Can See From Here, Carrie Mac

Akata Witch, (Series), Nnedi Okorafor

A Mango-Shaped Hole, Wendy Mass

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon

A Shot in the Dark, Victoria Lee

A Snicker of Magic, Natalie Lloyd

A Song of Ice and Fire, (series), George R. R. Martin

A Time to Dance, Padma Venkatraman

Bath Haus, P. J. Vernon

Beasts of Prey, (Series), Ayana Gray

Black Bird, Blue Road, Sofiya Pasternack

Cafe con Lychee, Emery Lee

Cinder, (Series), Marissa Meyer

Clean, Amy Reed

Connection Error, (Series), Annabeth Albert

Crazy, Benjamin Lebert

Crooked Kingdom, (Series), Leigh Bardugo

Dear Fang, With Love, Rufi Thorpe

The Degenerates, J. Albert Mann

Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Emily R. Austin

The Extraordinaries, (Series), T. J. Klune

The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict, (Series), Trenton Lee Stewart

The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix

Forever Is Now, Mariama J. Lockington

Fortune Favours the Dead, (Series), Stephen Spotswood

Fresh, Margot Wood

Harmony, London Price

Highly Illogical Behaviour, John Corey Whaley

Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers

How to Become a Planet, Nicole Melleby

I Am Not Alone, Francisco X. Stork

The Immeasurable Depth of You, Maria Ingrande Mora

In the Ring, Sierra Isley

Iron Widow, (Series), Xiran Jay Zhao

Izzy at the End of the World, K. A. Reynolds

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, (short story) (anthology), Seiko Tanabe

Just by Looking at Him, Ryan O'Connell

Lakelore, Anna-Marie McLemore

Learning Curves, (Series), Ceillie Simkiss

Let's Call It a Doomsday, Katie Henry

The Library of the Dead, (Series), TL Huchu

Long Macchiatos and Monsters, Alison Evans

Love from A to Z, (Series), S.K. Ali

Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

The No-Girlfriend Rule, Christen Randall

Noor, Nnedi Okorafor

One For All, Lillie Lainoff

On the Edge of Gone, Corinne Duyvis

Out of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper

Parable of the Sower, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Parable of the Talents, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Percy Jackson & the Olympians, (series), Rick Riordan

Pomegranate, Helen Elaine Lee

The Pursuit Of..., (Series), Courtney Milan

The Quiet and the Loud, Helena Fox

Roll with It, (Series), Jamie Sumner

Russian Doll, (Series), Cristelle Comby

Scar of the Bamboo Leaf, Sieni A.M

Six of Crows, (Series) Leigh Bardugo

Sizzle Reel, Carlyn Greenwald

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Stagsblood Prince, (Series), Gideon E. Wood

Stars in Your Eyes, Kacen Callender [Expected release: Oct 2023]

The Storm Runner, (Series), J. C. Cervantes

The Theft of Sunlight, (Series), Intisar Khanani

Throwaway Girls, Andrea Contos

Top Ten, Katie Cotugno

Torch, Lyn Miller-Lachmann

Treasure, Rebekah Weatherspoon

Verona Comics, Jennifer Dugan

We Are the Ants, (Series), Shaun David Hutchinson

The Weight of Our Sky, Hanna Alkaf

The Whispering Dark, Kelly Andrew

Wicked Sweet, Chelsea M. Cameron

Wonder, (Series), R. J. Palacio

Wrong to Need You, (Series), Alisha Rai

Ziggy, Stardust and Me, James Brandon

Graphic Novels:

Constellations, Kate Glasheen

The Golden Hour, Niki Smith

Magazines: Anthologies and Articles:

Beneath Ceaseless Skies #175: Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds, (Article), R. B. Lemburg

Uncanny #24: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction, (Anthology), edited by: Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, Dominik Parisien et al.

Uncanny #30: Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, (Anthology), edited by: Nicolette Barischoff, Lisa M. Bradley, Katharine Duckett

Manga:

Perfect World, (Series), Rie Aruga

Non-Fiction:

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education, Jay Timothy Dolmage

A Disability History of the United States, Kim E, Nielsen

The Architecture of Disability: Buildings, Cities, and Landscapes beyond Access, David Gissen

Being Seen: One Deafblind Woman's Fight to End Ableism, Elsa Sjunneson

Black Disability Politics, Sami Schalk

Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure, Eli Clare

The Cambridge Companion to Literature and Disability, Barker, Clare and Stuart Murray, editors.

The Capacity Contract: Intellectual Disability and the Question of Citizenship, Stacy Clifford Simplican

Capitalism and Disability, Martha Russel

Care work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach, Dr Amitta Shah

The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays, Esme Weijun Wang

Crip Kinship, Shayda Kafai

Crip Up the Kitchen: Tools, Tips and Recipes for the Disabled Cook, Jules Sherred

Culture – Theory – Disability: Encounters between Disability Studies and Cultural Studies, Anne Waldschmidt, Hanjo Berressem, Moritz Ingwersen

Decarcerating Disability: Deinstitutionalization and Prison Abolition, Liat Ben-Moshe

Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally, Emily Ladau

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Disability Pride: Dispatches from a Post-ADA World, Ben Mattlin

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space, Amanda Leduc

Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation, Eli Clare

Feminist Queer Crip, Alison Kafer

The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

It's Just Nerves: Notes on a Disability, Kelly Davio

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot

Language Deprivation & Deaf Mental Health, Neil S. Glickman, Wyatte C. Hall

The Minority body: A Theory of Disability, Elizabeth Barnes

My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick, Lyndsey Medford

No Right to Be Idle: The Invention of Disability, 1840s-1930s, Sarah F. Rose

Nothing About Us Without Us: Disability Oppression and Empowerment, James I. Charlton

The Pedagogy of Pathologization Dis/abled Girls of Color in the School-prison Nexus, Subini Ancy Annamma

Physical Disability in British Romantic Literature, Essaka Joshua

QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology, Raymond Luczak, Editor.

The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability, Jasbir K. Puar

Sitting Pretty, (memoir), Rebecca Taussig

Sounds Like Home: Growing Up Black & Deaf in the South, Mary Herring Wright

Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness: How to Stay Sane and Live One Step Ahead of Your Symptoms, Ilana Jacqueline

The Things We Don't Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, Julie Morgenlender

Unmasking Autism, Devon Price

The War on Disabled People: Capitalism, Welfare and the Making of a Human Catastrophe, Ellen Clifford

Year of the Tiger: An Activist's Life, (memoir) (essays) Alice Wong

Picture Books:

Small Knight and the Anxiety Monster, Manka Kasha

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With an extra special thank you to @parafoxicalk @craftybookworms @lunod @galaxyaroace @shub-s @trans-axolotl @suspicious-whumping-egg @ya-world-challenge @fictionalgirlsworld @rubyjewelqueen @some-weird-queer-writer @jacensolodjo @cherry-sys @dralthon for your absolutely fantastic contributions!

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