D̷e̸a̶r̵e̷s̶t̴ ̸B̴o̴n̷e̸-̵B̷r̵i̷t̵t̶l̷e̴ ̸H̵u̷m̶a̴n̸,̶

D̷e̸a̶r̵e̷s̶t̴ ̸B̴o̴n̷e̸-̵B̷r̵i̷t̵t̶l̷e̴ ̸H̵u̷m̶a̴n̸,̶

̶I̸ ̸c̸o̵u̸l̷d̵n̷'̵t̴ ̷h̵a̷v̸e̴ ̴a̴s̷k̶e̵d̴ ̵f̸o̷r̷ ̵a̸ ̵b̵e̸t̸t̸e̷r̴ ̶s̸o̵u̶r̵c̴e̶ ̷o̴f̴ ̸f̴o̶o̵d̴ ̵t̶h̵a̷n̵ ̴R̷e̴v̵e̵r̶e̷n̴d̵ ̵S̵w̷a̷n̸s̷o̵n̷ ̷—̴ ̸t̷h̷a̴t̵ ̶t̵r̶e̸m̴b̷l̶i̵n̸g̵ ̸a̸l̷c̴o̴h̶o̵l̸-̸s̴o̵a̵k̷e̷d̴ ̷s̷a̷c̶k̶ ̶o̷f̵ ̵r̵e̶g̶r̷e̸t̵s̶ ̶—̴ ̴a̸n̴d̷ ̵B̵i̷l̵l̴ ̶W̷i̴l̸l̴i̷a̷m̷s̵o̶n̶,̶ ̷t̵h̵a̷t̵ ̵o̵v̶e̷r̵g̸r̵o̶w̶n̸ ̸m̶a̸n̷ ̸w̸i̷t̵h̵ ̷t̴h̶e̷ ̵I̴Q̶ ̸o̴f̵ ̵a̵ ̶c̷o̶n̸c̴u̸s̸s̴e̸d̷ ̴m̶u̴l̴e̷.̵ ̷L̴e̶t̸ ̶m̸e̵ ̷t̴e̵l̴l̵ ̴y̶o̴u̷ ̵h̷o̸w̷ ̶w̶e̸ ̴b̷r̸o̷k̴e̶ ̵t̶h̵e̶m̵.̶

̴S̵w̵a̴n̸s̴o̶n̶ ̷p̵i̶s̵s̵e̵d̶ ̸h̶i̸m̶s̷e̴l̶f̴ ̶b̵e̴f̵o̵r̵e̴ ̸w̶e̵ ̴e̵v̸e̵n̷ ̸g̴o̵t̵ ̸t̴h̵e̵ ̶r̷o̴p̸e̵s̸ ̴o̵n̶ ̴h̵i̴m̸.̴ ̶B̴e̴g̷g̷e̸d̶ ̸J̶e̸s̸u̵s̵ ̷t̴o̶ ̶s̴a̷v̴e̵ ̴h̸i̵m̴.̴ ̸J̸e̴s̷u̸s̵.̵ ̵A̴s̷ ̶i̴f̸ ̴t̶h̷a̵t̸ ̵b̸a̵s̶t̸a̶r̷d̸ ̶e̷v̵e̴r̷ ̷l̴i̶s̷t̶e̵n̴e̵d̶.̴ ̷S̶o̴ ̸w̴e̸ ̵g̶a̷v̸e̶ ̶h̵i̶m̴ ̴a̷ ̴n̵e̴w̷ ̴g̸o̴d̶ ̴t̶o̵ ̴p̴r̷a̴y̸ ̷t̵o̶:̸ ̶m̶e̶.̸ ̵F̵i̶r̷s̸t̵,̸ ̸w̴e̶ ̷s̷t̵r̸i̴p̵p̸e̸d̷ ̴h̷i̴m̶ ̵b̴a̸r̷e̵ ̶a̶n̵d̶ ̴c̵a̷r̴v̸e̴d̶ ̸h̶i̴s̷ ̴f̶a̴v̶o̶r̸i̶t̵e̵ ̴h̷y̷m̵n̷ ̷i̷n̷t̶o̷ ̴h̶i̷s̵ ̷c̴h̴e̷s̴t̴,̴ ̵a̵n̴d̷ ̷w̵e̵ ̸e̶v̵e̸n̶ ̷a̵l̸l̷o̶w̴e̷d̷ ̸h̶i̵m̵ ̷t̵o̶ ̷s̵i̸n̸g̴ ̶i̴t̷ ̴w̸h̶i̶l̶e̷ ̶w̴e̵ ̸w̵o̵r̵k̴e̴d̷.̷ ̷T̸h̶e̵n̸,̸ ̶w̷e̸ ̷r̶e̵p̵l̶a̵c̵e̸d̶ ̴h̸i̴s̷ ̶a̴l̷c̷o̴h̸o̴l̸ ̶b̷o̴t̸t̵l̴e̶ ̵w̵i̸t̷h̸ ̶k̴e̵r̸o̶s̵e̵n̷e̴.̶ ̶D̵r̸a̶n̶k̷ ̸i̵t̴ ̸d̷o̸w̶n̵ ̸l̵i̴k̶e̷ ̴c̵o̵m̷m̶u̷n̶i̴o̴n̷ ̸w̸i̸n̸e̵,̷ ̵h̴e̵ ̷d̵i̴d̷.̴ ̶S̴c̷r̸e̶a̸m̴e̷d̵ ̴h̶o̸l̶y̷ ̴h̵e̷l̵l̶ ̴w̸h̵e̷n̷ ̶w̷e̵ ̸l̵i̷t̶ ̸a̴ ̷m̸a̶t̵c̵h̴ ̸u̸n̷d̷e̴r̶ ̷h̵i̸s̷ ̸c̶h̵i̵n̶.̸ ̴F̸i̴n̶a̶l̷l̷y̵,̴ ̸w̵e̷ ̶h̵u̴n̵g̶ ̷h̷i̸m̶ ̵u̶p̴s̵i̸d̸e̶-̴d̵o̷w̸n̵ ̵o̵v̶e̴r̶ ̸a̴ ̷f̶i̷r̷e̴.̶ ̴L̸i̸s̵t̶e̷n̵e̴d̴ ̷t̴o̵ ̶h̵i̸m̸ ̷s̶o̸b̵ ̴f̸o̶r̸ ̵m̸e̴r̴c̷y̵ ̸w̵h̶i̶l̵e̸ ̵h̷i̸s̵ ̶t̴e̴a̴r̷s̴ ̸e̷v̴a̷p̵o̵r̸a̴t̵e̵d̶ ̴m̷i̶d̷-̷a̷i̷r̷.̶ ̶T̶o̶o̷k̸ ̸h̶o̴u̸r̷s̵ ̵f̵o̴r̷ ̸h̷i̸m̶ ̷t̵o̸ ̶s̶t̶o̴p̸ ̵t̷w̷i̴t̶c̸h̶i̶n̸g̵.̶ ̷F̷u̴n̵n̸y̵ ̷t̵h̵i̷n̵g̷ ̶—̷ ̷t̵u̷r̴n̸s̸ ̴o̷u̷t̴ ̶a̴ ̴p̵r̶e̵a̴c̷h̶e̸r̸'̷s̷ ̶l̸u̸n̴g̸s̷ ̵m̵a̶k̵e̷ ̴a̸ ̸l̶o̶v̷e̶l̶y̶ ̵a̶c̶c̶o̴r̵d̴i̴o̶n̸.̸

̵W̴e̵ ̶m̶a̵s̷s̴a̷g̵e̴d̴ ̵a̵ ̴c̷i̸t̵r̶u̸s̷ ̴a̸n̶d̶ ̴f̸i̵r̶e̴ ̴a̴n̵t̶ ̵r̴u̷b̴ ̴—̴ ̵c̷o̶n̷s̸i̴s̴t̵i̸n̵g̵ ̵o̶f̶ ̸l̷e̸m̶o̴n̵ ̸a̸n̷t̶s̶,̷ ̷f̵i̷r̷e̵ ̵a̸n̸t̶s̶,̴ ̸w̵i̶l̸d̴ ̶t̷h̵y̶m̵e̶,̴ ̴c̷r̸u̵s̴h̷e̷d̴ ̶b̵l̴a̶c̷k̵ ̴p̸e̴p̶p̴e̸r̸,̶ ̷d̴r̶i̸e̶d̷ ̶l̸e̶m̴o̸n̷ ̸p̵e̸e̸l̸,̵ ̸a̷n̵d̴ ̸s̵a̷l̸t̸ ̵—̷ ̴i̵n̷t̶o̵ ̴h̴i̵s̴ ̴f̴l̴e̸s̸h̵ ̴t̶o̸ ̶a̷d̵d̷ ̷a̶ ̶b̵r̶i̴g̸h̶t̸,̸ ̶z̵e̸s̸t̷y̶ ̴h̵e̴a̷t̵.̵ ̸I̶t̷ ̸t̷u̴r̵n̵e̶d̴ ̵h̵i̴m̸ ̸i̸n̵t̷o̶ ̴a̴ ̶l̷i̷v̴i̵n̸g̸ ̵s̶p̴i̴c̸e̵ ̶r̵a̸c̸k̷.̴ ̸H̴i̵s̵ ̷s̸c̴r̴e̸a̶m̸s̷ ̶s̸e̶a̵s̵o̵n̴e̷d̸ ̸t̶h̸e̸ ̶a̸i̴r̶.̶ ̷B̵y̷ ̴t̷h̵e̵ ̴t̵i̴m̶e̸ ̷t̸h̴e̵ ̸f̴i̵r̴e̶ ̷l̴i̶c̵k̵e̵d̷ ̷h̵i̸s̷ ̴b̷o̶n̷e̷s̴,̴ ̵h̴e̶ ̴s̷m̷e̷l̷l̸e̵d̶ ̸l̸i̸k̷e̶ ̶a̶ ̴c̴i̷t̷r̸u̷s̶ ̶g̸r̸o̶v̸e̵ ̶i̸n̶ ̵J̶u̶l̸y̴ ̷—̸ ̷b̴r̸i̴g̸h̶t̷,̸ ̴t̴a̴n̵g̶y̷,̴ ̴b̴u̶r̴n̸i̵n̵g̵.̸ ̴A̶n̷d̵ ̵t̷h̵e̴ ̷t̶a̴s̵t̵e̷?̴ ̵F̷i̴r̷s̷t̸ ̶b̴i̴t̷e̴:̵ ̸z̶e̵s̴t̸.̶ ̵S̴e̵c̴o̶n̶d̸:̵ ̶s̵p̶i̸c̶y̶.̷ ̶T̸h̸o̴s̶e̷ ̴a̷n̸t̵s̴ ̸a̸i̶n̶'̸t̷ ̶j̵u̵s̸t̸ ̸f̷o̴r̸ ̶s̵h̵o̸w̸.̸ ̴T̴h̷i̸r̴d̶:̸ ̶r̷e̴p̷e̸n̷t̶a̸n̷c̸e̶.̷ ̷T̷h̶y̵m̵e̸ ̵a̸n̷d̷ ̸s̸a̸l̴t̶,̸ ̷l̴i̵k̸e̴ ̴t̵h̸e̴ ̶e̴a̶r̸t̵h̶ ̶i̴t̸s̵e̸l̴f̶ ̸b̴e̷g̸g̴e̷d̵ ̴f̵o̵r̵g̷i̷v̶e̶n̷e̴s̴s̶.̸ ̸I̸ ̸s̸a̷v̶e̶d̴ ̴t̶h̷e̷ ̵h̷e̶a̸r̸t̸ ̶f̸o̷r̶ ̷l̶a̵s̶t̶.̴ ̵A̴t̵e̶ ̴i̴t̴ ̵r̴a̴w̴.̵ ̶T̷a̶s̸t̵e̶d̸ ̸l̷i̶k̸e̴ ̴f̴e̶a̸r̶ ̷a̷n̴d̴ ̶c̵h̷e̸a̷p̶ ̶a̵l̶c̵o̸h̸o̸l̷.̷ ̸D̷i̸v̷i̴n̴e̷.̸

̵N̸o̸w̸,̶ ̷B̴i̸l̷l̷?̴ ̵T̶h̶a̶t̴ ̸l̸u̵m̶m̸o̴x̵ ̶f̶o̸u̴g̸h̶t̷ ̸l̸i̸k̷e̶ ̷a̶ ̸c̶o̷r̴n̵e̵r̶e̶d̵ ̷b̵o̸a̸r̸.̵ ̶B̵r̶o̷k̶e̶ ̷t̶w̴o̷ ̷o̵f̴ ̴S̶e̴a̶n̶’̴s̷ ̴f̴i̷n̸g̵e̴r̴s̸ ̷b̸e̸f̴o̵r̴e̶ ̵w̷e̸ ̶g̷o̸t̴ ̷h̶i̴m̸ ̶t̴r̵u̷s̴s̶e̴d̶ ̷u̴p̷.̴ ̴B̶u̵t̸ ̷b̵r̷a̵v̷e̸r̶y̸'̸s̸ ̵j̷u̸s̸t̴ ̶s̵t̵u̵p̴i̸d̷i̸t̷y̴ ̸i̵n̷ ̴a̵ ̸n̵i̷c̷e̶r̵ ̵h̶a̸t̷.̸ ̶W̴e̵ ̵s̶k̵i̶n̴n̵e̷d̷ ̴h̵i̵s̵ ̴a̴r̵m̶s̸ ̶r̵a̷w̶,̶ ̶l̷i̸k̶e̶ ̸p̶e̵e̵l̴i̶n̵g̵ ̷b̸a̴r̴k̷ ̸o̶f̷f̵ ̵a̶ ̸t̵r̶e̶e̷.̸ ̶U̸s̴e̵d̵ ̵h̴i̸s̶ ̴o̷w̸n̷ ̴k̵n̴i̴f̶e̸.̸ ̶P̴o̸e̸t̸i̸c̸ ̶j̶u̷s̴t̵i̴c̸e̵,̴ ̸D̸u̴t̵c̵h̶ ̷w̶o̴u̵l̸d̸ ̷c̴a̵l̵l̷ ̷i̶t̷.̶ ̴F̴e̵d̴ ̶h̶i̶m̷ ̶h̴i̵s̶ ̶t̵r̷i̶g̷g̴e̶r̵ ̵f̵i̸n̶g̴e̶r̴.̶ ̶C̸h̸o̸k̸e̶d̶ ̴'̷e̶m̴ ̸d̵o̸w̶n̵ ̴w̴i̴t̶h̸ ̵a̶ ̶s̴i̶d̶e̵ ̸o̴f̸ ̶h̵i̶s̸ ̸o̷w̴n̸ ̵b̸l̸o̶o̷d̸.̴ ̶S̷t̶u̶f̸f̶e̸d̶ ̷h̷i̶s̵ ̵m̶o̸u̵t̷h̴ ̶w̴i̷t̴h̶ ̷g̵u̷n̸p̷o̷w̷d̶e̴r̶ ̶a̵n̵d̷ ̴s̶e̷w̴e̸d̸ ̷i̸t̵ ̴s̴h̷u̷t̸.̶ ̸Y̵o̴u̷ ̶k̴n̶o̸w̵ ̸t̸h̶a̷t̴ ̶h̶e̴'̶s̶ ̶a̴l̷w̵a̵y̶s̷ ̸b̶e̴e̴n̸ ̵a̷ ̵t̵a̴l̷k̶e̵r̷.̵ ̶H̴i̴s̸ ̸f̶i̵n̸g̷e̵r̶s̶?̵ ̶S̵n̶a̵p̷p̸e̴d̶ ̶'̴e̵m̷ ̷o̶n̶e̶ ̸b̷y̷ ̶o̴n̷e̵.̶ ̶F̴e̸d̴ ̷t̷h̶e̴ ̵p̴i̷n̵k̴i̶e̸s̸ ̴t̶o̴ ̵m̷y̷ ̵h̴o̶r̸s̴e̵.̸ ̵T̶h̷e̸ ̶r̸e̷s̸t̸?̸ ̸S̷e̷a̶s̶o̷n̵i̷n̴'̴ ̸f̸o̸r̶ ̶t̸h̴e̵ ̵m̷a̶i̴n̷ ̶c̴o̴u̵r̵s̴e̷.̵ ̶

̸F̶o̸r̵ ̵B̸i̸l̶l̸ ̶W̸i̶l̸l̵i̶a̷m̴s̵o̵n̸,̶ ̴w̵e̴ ̵u̶s̸e̴d̵ ̴a̵ ̵n̸u̸t̵t̷y̶ ̵c̵r̴i̸c̶k̸e̴t̷ ̵c̵r̸u̵s̵t̸ ̷—̵ ̴c̵r̸i̶c̵k̶e̸t̵s̸,̷ ̵c̶r̵u̸s̵h̷e̴d̵ ̷s̶a̸g̷e̷,̷ ̶r̸o̴s̵e̴m̶a̴r̶y̸,̵ ̶a̵n̷d̸ ̸w̵i̴l̸d̷ ̸g̶a̴r̷l̴i̸c̵.̴ ̶W̴e̷ ̸c̸a̷r̶v̵e̶d̴ ̶t̴r̸o̶p̸h̷y̷ ̵c̴u̷t̶s̷ ̶(̵r̶i̴b̴s̶ ̶a̷n̷d̶ ̵f̶l̴a̸n̸k̶s̷)̸ ̴a̵n̸d̶ ̸p̵r̵e̸s̵s̶e̴d̵ ̸t̴h̶e̶ ̶c̴r̶u̸s̵t̷ ̶i̷n̵t̵o̴ ̴t̵h̸e̶ ̴m̶e̶a̵t̶s̵’̵ ̵s̴u̷r̸f̷a̸c̵e̶s̷,̶ ̶b̶i̸n̷d̸i̸n̶g̸ ̸w̸i̴t̵h̷ ̴b̶l̶o̷o̴d̵ ̵a̶n̴d̵ ̶f̵a̶t̸ ̸t̵o̸ ̵f̷o̴r̷m̵ ̵a̵ ̶c̵h̴a̸r̸r̴e̷d̶,̸ ̵c̷r̸a̷c̴k̶l̷i̸n̷g̶ ̸s̶h̷e̸l̷l̷.̷ ̷H̶e̴ ̵w̵a̴s̷ ̵a̵ ̵f̷u̴l̸l̴-̵o̷u̵t̵ ̵d̶i̷n̷n̷e̷r̷,̴ ̷S̴w̸a̴n̷s̴o̸n̵ ̵w̶a̶s̸ ̷m̴e̸r̸e̶l̴y̷ ̴a̸n̴ ̸a̸p̸p̷e̸t̶i̵z̶e̶r̷.̵ ̷A̶t̶e̴ ̸h̸i̷m̸ ̵a̶t̵ ̶3̵ ̴A̸M̷.̸ ̶F̵i̴r̴s̴t̴ ̷B̵i̷t̴e̷:̷ ̷T̵h̷e̵ ̴l̷e̷g̵.̷ ̸C̴r̸i̸s̷p̷ ̶a̸s̶ ̵a̶u̶t̴u̵m̴n̴ ̴l̴e̸a̸v̷e̴s̶,̴ ̶c̷r̵a̸c̶k̴l̷i̶n̵'̴ ̶w̴i̶t̷h̴ ̵c̷r̵i̵c̴k̵e̴t̵ ̶l̵e̵g̵s̸.̶ ̶S̴e̸c̵o̷n̸d̵:̷ ̴T̴h̵e̸ ̷h̵e̴a̶r̷t̴.̴ ̷C̶h̴e̷w̶y̸.̶ ̶M̶a̵r̵i̵n̵a̸t̴e̵d̶ ̵i̵n̸ ̷b̴o̵u̶r̸b̷o̷n̵ ̴a̴n̴d̷ ̴t̷o̶p̷p̵e̸d̷ ̶w̷i̷t̴h̸ ̷a̸ ̶s̴a̶g̵e̸ ̴l̶e̸a̵f̶.̸ ̵T̷h̸i̷r̵d̷:̷ ̴T̶h̸e̷ ̴l̴i̴v̴e̵r̵.̴ ̴S̴w̶o̵l̸l̷e̸n̸ ̷w̷i̵t̴h̶ ̶t̸o̷x̶i̵n̴s̷.̵ ̷P̶e̷r̸f̵e̷c̷t̶.̶ ̷W̵e̸ ̵s̵a̷v̵e̸d̸ ̵h̴i̷s̴ ̸t̴o̸n̸g̴u̸e̷ ̸f̶o̶r̴ ̷A̴r̴t̷h̵u̸r̸.̶ ̴T̸e̵l̸l̸ ̸h̸i̴m̴ ̶i̸t̷'̷s̸ ̷p̷i̴c̵k̵l̶e̶d̵ ̷i̵n̷ ̷a̴ ̴j̸a̸r̸ ̸a̶t̶ ̷S̷i̵x̸ ̶P̵o̸i̴n̵t̵ ̶C̸a̸b̸i̷n̴.̵ ̵C̸o̸m̶e̸ ̷a̸n̸d̸ ̶g̸e̷t̴ ̸i̶t̸.̵ ̶N̸o̷w̷,̷ ̵y̶o̵u̵ ̶d̶o̵ ̶r̷e̶a̸l̴i̴z̵e̷ ̴t̶h̸a̸t̶ ̴n̵o̷ ̶o̷n̴e̴ ̴c̴a̴n̸ ̴s̷a̷v̶e̷ ̸y̷o̵u̷.̷ ̵A̴i̴n̷'̶t̶ ̸n̸o̷ ̴g̴a̶n̸g̴ ̸b̴i̸g̷ ̶e̸n̴o̴u̵g̷h̵,̷ ̷n̷o̸ ̶h̸o̸l̵e̴ ̷d̵e̵e̵p̷ ̶e̵n̶o̷u̶g̸h̶.̵

̴Y̶o̸u̵'̷r̷e̶ ̵n̷e̸x̸t̶,̵

̶C̷o̷l̴m̸ ̶O̴’̶D̵r̷i̷s̷c̶o̵l̷l̵

̴P̶.̴S̴.̸ ̸T̷h̷a̶n̸k̶ ̸y̴o̵u̶ ̶f̶o̶r̷ ̶m̶y̴ ̵d̵i̵n̷n̶e̸r̷.̷ ̸T̵h̴e̴y̴ ̵w̸e̶r̴e̴ ̶d̷e̴l̶i̶c̴i̶o̴u̵s̶.̷ ̴I̷ ̸c̴a̴n̸'̴t̶ ̸w̸a̸i̷t̶ ̷t̶o̸ ̴h̷a̶v̷e̷ ̷y̸o̸u̴ ̶f̶o̵r̵ ̷b̸r̴e̷a̵k̷f̵a̷s̷t̷ ̶t̸o̴m̶o̶r̸r̶o̷w̸ ̵—̵ ̷w̶h̵e̵n̴ ̸y̴o̸u̷ ̵t̴r̶y̶ ̶t̵o̴ ̶t̶r̶a̵c̷k̸ ̵m̴e̷ ̸d̴o̶w̵n̸,̷ ̴t̵h̸a̵t̸'̷s̸ ̴w̵h̸e̷n̷ ̶I̴'̴l̶l̵ ̵e̴a̵t̷ ̵y̴o̵u̶.̸

Hello Colm,

While i understand that my criticism of your handwriting may have felt hurtful or insulting i feel like the murder and consumption of both Orville Swanson and Bill Williamson is blowing this completely out of proportion.

Now, i may not be able to express myself as politely and well written as esquilone but a infamous gang leader like you are shouldn't be ignored none the less.

That being said and out of the way, i don't know how a rotting carcass of a man like you can have the audacity to call me brittle boned when your skin is probably going to peel off soon. Either way, you and 'your boys' will never find me. Not tomorrow and not anyday that i breathe. If you find me afterwards, i hope you choke on my flesh. I wish you luck nonetheless.

Sincerely, VaronEatsEyes

P.s. Thank you for the recipe and cooking and cooking instructions. I'll be sure to remember them for our next meeting.