The Curse Of Creativity And The Suffering Of Artists:
The Curse of Creativity and the suffering of artists:
"There are tons of people who are just as good as me." - Seiji Amasawa, Whisper of the heart (1995)
Ghibli movies have always had a huge impact on me. Full of quiet sensibilities and easily understood complex concepts; Ghibli movies made my childhood and the person I am today. And despite the cuteness of Totoro, the innocence of Ponyo, the quirky weirdness of Howl's moving castle (the themes of that movie are so intricate too) or the message about hardwork and burnout in Kiki's delivery service, there is one movie that remains in my heart (no pun intended)
"Whisper of the Heart" has taught me so much about myself and the path I am headed. It is the most beautiful, soul-crushing movie I have ever watched not because it has wars and the death of loved ones but because it is relatable and grounded. I can see myself in Shizuko and Seiji, I understand their struggles and dreams. I smiled with them and I cried for them. I related to Shizuko's struggle to see her writing as anything good and Seiji's belief that despite his achievements he isn't anywhere near as good at his skills as some other people.
This movie made me think about the saying I so often hear "Don't suffer for your dreams". While I scoffed at it when an adult said that to me first, now that I am much older and hopefully wiser, the words struck me not as nagging but as a warning.
Suffering doesn't equal great art, some people think that only those who are depressed and mentally ill can make great art, which is completely false. (Although I don't blame those people as many great artists and writers were actually mentally ill, it's not the only thing that makes one a great artist!) You don't have to suffer to be a great artist, you just have to be creative and work hard, there's nothing more to that.
When I was in my most depressed state during the last two years of high school, I wasn't writing or working hard on my book. I was staring at the wall wishing I would disappear. Overcoming that depression led me to write better, work harder, chase my dreams with passion.
During the times where I am stuck in a chapter I can't get through and my brain goes blank, I think to myself if I am actually a good writer or I have been just treading the waters of talent that I don't have. When people call me talented, it makes me squirm, it takes away my hardwork and effort.
Being a creative person is not easy, it's not all sunshine and rainbows where you are constantly getting new ideas. Sometimes it makes my head hurt. Acting on your ideas is not easy. I can think all I want but when it comes to actually writing that idea, I freeze.
Being an artistic person makes you feel self conscious. If anyone will like what I do? Will someone criticize me? What if no one likes my work? What if they judge me? There's someone who is better than me, why should I even bother?
Creativity isn't just a blessing, it's also a curse. It's a double-edged sword.
You should try to achieve the best but not make it your end goal. Life is so much more than success, fame and material goods. I don't write for any of those things, I write for myself and the people I care for. Even if I don't end up publishing any of my novels, I would still write. Never stop dreaming and become monotonous, you don't have to make sure your hobbies earn you money, they should give you peace and happiness.
There are times when I spend too much time in front of my computer typing out another new story when I stop and think back at those words, I don't feel dispassionate, suffering won't make me happy, writing whatever I want would. So I type ahead for some more minutes and take a break. I indulge in the world that I create in my books and make characters that I love more deeply than human beings, but I don't want it to become my life. I would still do normal everyday things and talk to normal everyday people. Work-life balance is utter bullshit and too idealistic, but making sure your work doesn't consume your life is what matters.
Even if I do end up getting an ordinary job and not making my hobby a career, I would not be disappointed.
I am ready to live a life of rationality and pragmatism but I will never accept monotony.
More Posts from Welivetodream and Others
I quit reading If We Were Villians when I thought James and Oliver are doomed to not be together. I have tried to complete the last few pages but I can't. I had never rooted for a couple more than I did for them. I even got jealous with them when they were both with different people. I have spoiled as well as guessed what happens in the end (the Shakespeare format spolied more than it should have) and I don't think I could EVER finish the book. Few books break my heart, but this one surely did.
ENTP: so now the extros are gone, you guys wanna do something?
ISFJ: Sure, what do you want to do?
ENTP: I was asking about what YOU want to do....anyways how about pizza?
ISFP: I like pizza.
ENTP: great, which one?
ISFP: whatever everyone else likes.
ENTP:....ok ISTJ, pizza?
ISTJ: I don't eat fast food.
ENTP: ok, we will get some salad. Um...INTP...where is INTP?
ISTP: they left when you were blinking.
ENTP:....
ISTP: just text me when you get the pizza.
ENTP: INFP, what do you like?
INFP: I was a feeling a little down, if you don't mind, its okay if you do mind, I don't um....I don't like Pizza at all....you guys can eat I will just....sleep or something.
ENTP: You know right we can order something else for you?
INFP: I don't want to seem like an inconvenience
ENTP:.....you are so not... Ok INTJ what about you?
INTJ: .....
ENTP: .....
INTJ: .....
ENTP: ..... is he dead...?
INFJ: just order anything you want, we don't complain even if we have a problem.
ENTP: alright.....you guys are being very easygoing.
Finally started my TSH re-read after a lot of procrastination!
I read until page 90, I was also taking running notes and making small annotations so it took more time than usual
I didn't want to forget any details I wanted to highlight for when I start the essay
Here are some notes I made while reading (only about Henry)
I find Henry hilarious for some reason while the entire time I was making observations on him
He's so dumb in a smart way! ðŸ˜
Forget Romeo and Juliet when we have Oliver and James.
(Seriously, why any ship I like sinks?)
"Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as just beauty. I’m so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for"
Louisa May Alcott, Little Women.
Richard : Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Camilla: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Richard : Three of us saw it, Camilla. How do you explain that?
Camilla: *points at Francis* Sleep deprivation. *points at Charles* Paranoia. *points at Henry* Delusional personality disorder.
"That's the real sickness here, your righteousness and hypocrisy. It's the simple fact that you can't live by the rules you set, yet you still pretend. This is your world. You bulit this. If it's too strict, tear it the fuck down. But don't look at me. Don't take your hate out on me, I just got here. And I have no clue where to go, because from the moment I arrived, all I was ever given were orders. 'Smile. Open up. Cross your legs. Speak softer. Scream louder. Be quiet. Be confident. Be an angel. Be a whore. Be a princess. Be anything you want to be'...."
~Assassination nation, 2018.
Akutagawa using intimidation tactics on Atsushi because he doesn't know how to flirt: Jinko look at my eyes when I talk or else....
Atsushi: but, you are holding my wrist and pushed me into a corner, what do you want? I thought you agreed not to kill me
Akutagawa: if you don't want your sister to go missing, then let me take you to a restaurant
Atsushi: first of all, Kyouka would never get kidnapped by you and why a restaurant, are you trying to sell me drugs or something?
Akutagawa: why are you not understanding me?
Atsushi: what are you talking about? What is wrong with you?
Akutagawa: stay here, I have to ask Dazai-san for more pointers. If you run away, I will put handcuffs on you
Atsushi: ......
Atsushi: wait...I am the DETECTIVE HERE NOT YOU.
Meanwhile, Dazai watching this with binoculars: Dammit, Atsushi is even more air-headed than Chuuya. How can they not get such simple things? I should have given Akutagawa the dog collar already. It worked on Chuuya, surely it will work on Atsushi-
Chuuya, kicks his back: can you stop ruining kids eh, shitty mackerel?
"The world would be a better place without me, which is exactly why I will keep on living"
Is killing someone wrong?
Slyherin: No.
Gryffindor: I mean there are some people that need to be uh....eliminated.
Ravenclaw: depends on the person and if you can get away with it.
Hufflepuff: YES!!!!!
-
clarice-bean98 liked this · 9 months ago -
dyinggirldied liked this · 1 year ago -
zadeyyyy liked this · 1 year ago -
justa-personn liked this · 1 year ago -
welivetodream reblogged this · 1 year ago
"If I had followed the multitude, I should not have studied philosophy" ✨ ✨ 🖤 she/her 🖤✨✨(casual blogger/multi-shipper)
316 posts