Okay So I’m Rewatching The Descendants Trilogy And Honestly, Hot Take, I Love Chad. He’s Such A Prick

I’ve actually started, y’know, writing that Cobra Kai rewrite-parody fic I brought up half a year ago so here’s a dialogue I came up with for way later in the game:

Tory: I heard you let me come back to school, so I guess I should apologize-

Sam, coyly: Apologize? Whatever for?

Tory: Look, if you’re gonna be like this, then-

Sam: For the first time you assaulted me? For the nightmares you gave me that centered around you breaking into my house to finish me off? Or, is it for the time you actually did that verbatim?

Tory, slightly uncomfortable: I mean…all of that, yeah-

Sam: Hahahaha. *stops smiling* Let’s get one thing straight, buttercup. I only let you come back here for two reasons. Because my parents wanted me to be the bigger person, and because I want my rematch. With no distractions, no secret weapons, no gang to back you up, one on one, on the mat, to the book. But if you come at me, hell, if you even look at me the wrong way before then, I will smite where you stand and then send your ass packing straight back to wherever you came from. Got it?

Tory: *takes a deep breath*….I’m sorry, I could fit you in my pockets, I can’t be afraid of you.

Sam: COUNT YOUR DAYS BITCH. *disappears*

SECURITY BREACH RUIN SPOILERS INCOMING!!!!

Okay so, I have a theory about the normal ending. You know, the one where Cassie gets betrayed by Gregory and gets sent in a falling elevator? That one. The little “Cassie” quote from Roxy leads me to believe that Cassie died and her spirit is going to possess Roxy, just like how Charlotte’s spirit possessed the puppet/Marionette. I might be tripping though.

Jackass #1: I love Cobra Kai but you know what character I hate? Daniel. Always glazing Miyagi and acting like Johnny isn't 100% right 24/7, it's crazy. *murmurs of agreement* Jackass #2: Nah, you know who I really hate? Sam, that whore. *murmurs of agreement* Jackass #3: Man, I cannot STAND Robby, always bitching about his trauma and shit, man SHUT UP. Almost as annoying as Demetri. *murmurs of agreement* Jackass #4, turning to me: Anyway, who's your favorite characters? Me, standing in the middle of my room absolutely covered in giant pictures of Daniel and the OG Miyagi 3: .....

Just thought about this again, it’s giving:

Tory: Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me, though, who’s this ex you speak?

Miguel: Her name’s Sam.

Tory:….anyways, I’ve got all you could want here, all you could need here, just you and me, my dear, my love for life-

Miguel: My girlfriend broke up with me because I accidentally hit her while I was drunk, and I’m trying everything to get back with her, and I absolutely am still in love with her, and 100% not over her at all.

Tory: I want that one.

"Kindness never diminishes wealth nor loses its impact; it only brings blessings and upliftment to its giver."

Mohamed, his wife, and their four children are facing the harsh cold winter, hoping for a helping hand. In these difficult times, they need your support and remembrance to continue their lives in safety and warmth.

Here is the link to their campaign:

https://gofund.me/b6443f56

gofundme.com

Donate to Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive, organized by Abdallah Alanqar

I am Mohammed Alanqer, married to Enas Majed. We have three childr… Abdallah Alanqar needs your support for Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals f

Tagging for reach

@the-archivists-corner @tiredguyswag @timetravellingkitty @aishabellasbigblogofeverything @punkeropercyjackson @sillyguy-supreme @doublycharming-tetraquark @tywyty @mercystine @hiveswap @anarcho-boykisserism @claudia-de-lioncourt @kyorru @bunnyrabbitofficial @faggotstump @grecoromanyaoi

You guys ever think Kenny has abandonment and/or daddy issues?

I mean, from what we’ve seen, the boy is alone in his house most of the time because his mom works and his dad is off at sea. So like, is it a far stretch to say that maybe he’s internalized that in some way?

Idk, maybe I’m reading too deep into it, I just want to give Kenny something to make him more interesting. Anthony’s depth is implied but Kenny’s is just nonexistent.

Simply Miraculous REWRITE

That's right, y'all, I rewrote (the first two episodes of) my old Simply Miraculous fic. As I explain in the note, I noticed a lot of inconsistencies and aspects I simply was not satisfied with. So, I just did it again. The format will be largely changed, I'll be doing important episodes as individual works and others as shorts, and I'll be throwing in some original episode ideas as well.

I managed to write 7 chapters out of the first two episodes, so I hope everyone likes it.

Funniest thing is if you gave Sabrina a space potion she probably could move the star to make it arrive at Jupiter again

u go up to a girl who u bullied/helped to bully for years and think she’s rejecting you as a friend when really you just weren’t the person she wanted to see at that exact moment but in general she thinks ur alright and u ask her is there anything i can do to change ur mind about hating me forever and ever…? and she asks you ‘can you realign the stars?’ and you think wow. what a sick metaphor for asking me if i could turn back time and not have played a hand in her childhood trauma. i will say no and leave in tears. but no. marinette’s ACTUALLY asking if sabrina knows how to reschedule a star’s arrival at Jupiter because of its astrological significance and how that could positively affect her romantic relationship with adrien I Love This Show

Oh wow, this is WAY less subtle with subtitles 😭

Say you're homophobic without actually saying you're homophobic

Fuck you lady

Hypothetical Cobra Kai Musical Songs (Season 3)

Sorry this took a while, school was cooking me like turkey. 

What if Cobra Kai was or had a Musical? Well, this is what I think a couple of the songs in Season 3 would be like.

First up is DEFINITELY a song about the community reacting to the whole karate war situation. It ranges from negative takes to positive takes, basically a bunch of random people singing and maybe some of the secondary characters can throw in their two cents. As a base, think Hatchet Town from Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Wow, crazy how that’s not the first time I’ll be referencing NPMD.The second to last verse is a mashup of everyone else’s. Anyway, I’m thinking maybe Johnny can have the last verse as he laments over what could’ve possibly gone so wrong. I’d just call it Aftermath, after the episode. 

Now, Episode 1 has a ton of moments that could be musicalified, but I narrowed it down to just two, the second of which being a reprise of Fall Again from Season 2, but this time sung about and to Miguel as he’s in comatose.

Okay so, I completely forgot that Miguel wakes up from his coma in Episode 1, I had a song idea for that I guess I can just put it here. It’s like Courage in Me (Christina Vee Cover) from the Miraculous Movie had a baby with Scarface. It’s a blood-pumping, dance-rock track about Miguel fighting to wake up from the coma, lighting the fire within him to win in the mind tournament his comatose-ness was portrayed as. I’d call it Power In Me, and yes I know it’s dangerously close to Courage In Me, shush.(Off topic but I’m surprised they haven’t used Scarface on the show yet).

Now, to Episode 2. This episode is kind of all over the place in terms of events, so I was only able to find one place where a song would be appropriate. Remember that hypothetical Kreese solo I mentioned in Season 2. Here it is, at the tail end of the episode. It’s called Black and White, and it’s inspired by Be Prepared and military rock. He basically sings about his world view, about how all their lives they’re told to be good, but good is a matter of perspective. He tells his students that their enemies view themselves as heroes, and them as villains, and that they must shed their weakness like true cobras. It’s basically just Kreese’s villain song.

Hmmm, from what I’m thinking, I can’t come up with a song for Episode 3. This might change as I continue through the doc. For now, just imagine a reprise of Clockwork.

Next is an admittedly odd choice, but it’s a Kumiko song. It’s a ‘Colors of the Wind’-esque song about their past and their connection and how far Daniel’s come. I don’t have many thoughts on it and honestly it’s just a song I put in because 1, I feel like this musical’s become too rock heavy, and 2, I didn’t want to leave two episodes in a row songless.

However, what I will NOT call an odd choice is my next song, a Chozen solo. It’s basically Chozen telling Daniel about Miyagi’s forced-to-kill scenarios, and teaching him how to do pressure points. He explains that defense takes many forms. I’d probably name it True Devotion, but it’d be one of those songs where the name doesn’t pop up in the actual song because I’m not too sure about the name.

HAZBIN HOTEL SEASON 2 LEAK SPOILERS ALERT 

Now, I don’t know where to put this, but I’d really like to fit a Tory villain song somewhere, I mean, she’s a genuine cartoon villain in Seasons 2-3. Her song would be….okay, I know it’s very bad to spread leaks, I myself was pissed after I watched this because I thought it was a fanwork and later realized it was a leak, but it’s just perfect for comparison. It would be almost exactly like Like Gravity from the Hazbin Hotel S2 leaks. I imagine it would have Kreese as ad libs pulling her to the dark side. I’d call it Run Dry, with the lyric “And now the patience well’s run dry”.

ALRIGHT LEAK SPOILERS OVER

Afterwards, a Sam solo taking place after the arcade fight, all about how afraid she feels of Tory after the school fight. She admonishes herself for being too cowardly to save her friend, admits that she’s terrified of being hunted and hurt like that again. She also links fighting Tory to Miguel’s injury, which is just not great for her. It’d probably be similar in genre to Familiar from Steven Universe, a soft, boopy, sad song that makes you feel bad for the gorl. Maybe I’ll call it Frozen, link it with the lyric “Frozen in fear” maybe? Not exactly sure. I’d probably base it on like, the first verse and chorus of Speechless, the hopeless tone of it would be pungent in this song. A unique idea for this is that it’d be short, like a minute and a half, for reasons you will find out later in this post.

And now…for the Binary Bros.

After the arm-breaking thing, you’d expect me to have a song idea for them right. WRONG. I have THREE song ideas for them, but they can’t all coexist because giving them like, 3 songs seems like dragging the issue out. One of them is a duet, and the other two are solos for both of them, so I’ll dive into them now.

The duet first. Kind of off-topic but did you know that Diary of a Wimpy Kid has a musical? Well, there’s a song in this musical called ‘Dear Diary’, and that song has the exact vibe I want for this one. I want it to be both of them lamenting and wondering how their friendship could’ve gotten to this point, and how they both still yearn for each other (platonically or romantically if you’re into the ship), despite being on opposite sides of the karate war. 

It would first show Hawk alone trying to convince himself that what he did was right, but then the mask comes off and he sullenly sings about how much he regrets what he did, and how the nature of his actions in the past few months are slowly starting to set in. It would have remnants of his sonata from Season 2 and it would all be about the regret.

And then Demetri’s verse would kick in, and it would have the structure of Under The Radar, but be as sullen as Hawk’s verse. Demetri is singing that he physically cannot believe that they’ve stooped this low as he looks over old pictures of the two of them, reminiscing on the old days and how good they used to be. He looks inward, thinking about how he could’ve stopped this, how he could’ve helped his friend before he turned to the dark side. 

And then the last chorus would start and it would just be a crushing duet between the two of them, both of them essentially saying the same thing with different words: I miss my friend.

I don’t talk about the visuals of these hypothetical songs enough, let me do it now. The visuals would be of them soaring through the universe, dodging planets and astroids and other astronomical objects to get to each other, which would represent how they’ve overcome every obstacle in their friendship until now. And then they would get to one planet, one half of it is black with the Cobra Kai logo, and the other is white with the Miyagi Do logo, and no matter how much they fly around it, the planet rotates to keep them both on their respective sides. They plant their hands on the planet, and the colors of their sides start to take over their bodies as they passionately sing the final lyrics. And then, when they repeat the last lyric, all of the visuals fade away and it shows them just standing with their heads against the wall, but it’s shown in a split-screen kinda way so it looks like their touching foreheads.  I don’t know if I explained that well enough, but this section is long enough.The song would be called My Other Half. 

On to the solos, first, Demetri’s, a few weeks ago I wrote a Demetri version of All 2 U from Helluva Boss, it’s not perfect but I put my whole writerussy into it. Anyway, I think this hypothetical song would be like a cross between All 2 U and Lost In The Woods from Frozen 2. In my mind, it has the emotional rawness of All 2 U, but the message is a mix of both. You know that one interview where Gianni says that Demetri can’t function without Eli, so I’m taking that and running with it. This song is basically Demetri’s mini-mental breakdown, where the mask comes off and he reveals just how much he has been hurting emotionally, having had his other half ripped away from him. It would have guitars, drums, just like the songs I mentioned as basises, it would be all around depressing. But it would end on a sort of happy determined note of Demetri saying he’ll wait for Eli to come back to him and see the light.The song would literally be called Back To Me. 

And then, Hawk’s solo, Hawk would try a little bit harder to keep the mask on, singing about how this is the right way and he deserves to be strong after everything he’s been through, he needs to be strong after all the ways he’s grown. And then it comes off as he sings, “But what if I’m the monster?” It’s basically everything his verse in My Other Half is but longer. I think it’d be similar to Loser Geek Whatever (casually steals @embryoed’s idea), but like, crossed with Micheal in the Bathroom. I’d just call it Monster. 

WOO finally, that section’s over. God DAMN. After that absolute trio of terror, I think we deserve a fun song.

This next song is called Who Are We, and it’s centered around Johnny, Miguel, and the rest of the soon-to-be Eagle Fang coming up with a cool name. It’s a kooky, chill, pump up fun song of Johnny trying to get the eagles hyped up in hopes that they’ll help him come up with a name. Everyone suggests horrid names. 

And then, next a Carmen solo. It’s basically that moment where she apologizes for blaming Johnny and that she was hurt by what happened. She exposits almost the whole story about their life, how they immigrated in from Mexico because Miguel’s father was a horrible man, and how he’s had complications his whole life and how she’d do anything for him, yada yada. I’d probably call it Historia De Nuestras Vidas, or ‘Story of our Lives’ in Spanish…probably, idk I used Google Translate because I cheated my way through spanish class last year. It’d sound slow and sultry like something you’d hear in a musical episode of a telenovela. Oddly I’d want the verses to sound like the verses in Bum Biddy from Eight Crazy Nights, which is funny as hell. That song just has a really good structure.

After that, a song that takes place in the appeal. It starts out with Kreese pulling a Kreese, waving his ex-military status and PTSD around like a get out of jail free card and claiming that Miyagi-Do started the violence, painting them as the villain and infuriating Daniel and Amanda.Then, Daniel steps in, singing about the true story of how it all started, which not a lot of people actually believe because of Daniel’s history. Then, Johnny interjects, actually supporting Daniel (partially), and sharing about how Kreese’s methods destroyed his life and sent him on a downwards spiral. It devolves into an argument until Miguel shows up, singing the last verse about how he was bullied before he started learning karate, about how there will always be bullies and karate is all about standing up to them. I’d call the song Karate Belongs In Northridge, but the title wouldn’t show up in the song lol.

Then…alright, you’ve had a break from the emotional hits, it’s time for another. 

Robby’s pseudo-villain song, let’s GO. I call it a ‘pseudo-villain’ song because honestly, compared to what I have coming up for this guy, this song is child’s play.

Anyway, it’s basically Crossing the Line from Tangled with more guitars, it takes place after he finds Miguel and Sam kissing, and he’s on his way to Cobra Kai. Like Clockwork, it starts with him singing about everyone who’s screwed him over, starting with Johnny, the sperm donor who abandoned him for years, made a weak attempt to reconnect just to be able to say that he did, and then replaced him with another teenage boy.

And then Miguel, who he felt he could never measure up to for anyone, the boy who took everything away from him.

And then Sam, who made him feel like he could be loved and then it turned out he was basically a placeholder to her.

And finally, the one that stung the most: Daniel. He made Robby feel important and that he had potential, only to throw him away at the slightest inconvenience. 

After that, he launches into the chorus, singing about how he’s putting the walls back up stronger than ever before, about how he’s learned from every betrayal and figured out that he can only trust and look after himself. He’s been the scapegoat for far too long, so he’s taking his life back, and Shifting the Narrative. (That’s the name of the song if you couldn’t already tell, which you probably could)

And then, no more songs. That’s right, Episode 9 doesn’t get a song, because we have to prepare for the next and final song: a Sam-Tory duet (kind of).

It starts with Tory, singing in a similar manner Hawk did when hunting Demetri in Season 2’s finale. She’s singing about how karma’s caught up to Sam and now she pays for everything she’s done. She calls Sam a snob, a nepotism baby, one of those people who thinks the world should all that usual rhetoric she used to throw around to excuse her actions, and Sam’s taking the brunt of her rant and attacks…until she shatters the Miyagi Do picture.

Every memory she’s had of Miyagi flashes through her mind at once, and she gets so pissed off that the trauma literally gets scared and leaves. It’s like an unforgiving, cold rage, which leads me into my next sentence: the reason Frozen is so short is because it’s the first half of this song. And now, we enter the second half: Avalanche. 

I literally wrote up these lyrics:

Every sting, every lesson, every tear, every second wasted petrified and fearing for my life

Every dream, every vision, every nightmarish decision piercing straight through my psyche like a knife

I’ve listened to all your baseless accusations, your bold and faceless condemnation

And it’s built up in my soul with the goal to take control until it all bubbles over like an avalanche

So yeah, this song is intense. It’s Sam saying she is DONE with Tory’s bullshit and beating her ass while singing. Honestly, I’d probably compare it to Stronger Than You in terms of message. Tory thinks she knows exactly who and what Sam is, but she hasn’t even begun to understand who Sam is, everything that she’s been through, everything that’s made her who she is today. And now, she’s going to show her. 

And yeah, that’s the last song of the season. An intense bop about Sam owning tf out of Tory. 

This was honestly the funnest season to conceptualize for so far. I especially liked thinking about Avalanche, if someone takes my idea and makes it a reality, that song is going to be therapeutic. And I do hope I broke some hearts with the trio of terror that is the binary bros’ songs.

These posts got a lot more attention than I though they would. Off topic, but sometime in the near future I’m thinking about writing a kind of Cobra Kai parody/rewrite fanfic, it would exaggerate some plot points for laughs while completely changing others, and I would structure it like a normal TV show (26 episodes per season). It would also be a jukebox musical, probably using the songs I used as basis’ in these post.  Would y’all read that? Let me know. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and as always, if you have suggestions, don’t hesitate to share.