I’m Scarred That One Day You’ll Wake Up And Not Love Me Anymore.

After you, I don’t know if I believe in love or I believe in how the idea of having you was more appealing than being alone with myself. Still, I don’t blame you for leaving, who would want to stay to begin with? I dont even like myself.

My love is like those storm clouds that refuse to look normal. Love is not normal. My love is a fire that demands to be fed. One that has a passion outside the bed that we won't lay in. My love is not interested about what's in your pants. It's interested in your mind. Your thoughts. Your feelings. My love is nothing like anything you've experienced because my love is not your ex's. My love is not your mother's. This is my love. And it is only for you.

C.M. Lawliet

I feel the safest when I'm wrapped up in your arms. The comedy show is just a background noise to the sound of your heart beat as I lay my head on your chest. Your arms feel so strong and your breaths remind that this is real. That I am here and you are with me, and that you are the one who makes me feel safe.

I spent the whole day with you

I still fake my smiles, but around you I feel as if I don’t need to.

My wounds start to heal around you

She wasn’t used to all the attention. So when she felt she was safe to open up, she felt like she was suffocating those around her. And when she felt that she did enough damage, she became quiet. A ghost of herself, to scared to keep talking in fear of losing the ones she became so attached to.

I'm the girl. I'm the ghost.

In the dead of night, I can only find you. So I’m left to wonder, When it’s 2 am and you can’t sleep, Do you think of me too?

I hope you do

Misery is knowing that I'm always going to be your second choice. Because there is always someone better than me.

It's fine since I'm used to it now

Please ask me things!

More Get-to-Know-the-Writer Asks

Red: What type of writer’s block do you experience the most?

White: Are you a supporter/lover of fanfiction?

Black: Would you want to live in one of the fictional worlds you’ve created?

Blue: What’s more important to you: characters or plot?

Yellow: What’s a common writing tip that you mostly ignore?

Grey: What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Orange: How many projects do you usually have going at once?

Pink: Which of your characters would become your best friend?

Purple: Which of your characters would become your sworn enemy?

Green: Pencil, typewriter, or computer?

Brown: Do you have a set writing space? Or do you write everywhere?

Silver: Are you comfortable writing in public places?

Gold: Do your stories usually contain lessons or morals?

Clear: Do your characters control where the story goes or do you maintain control?

Tan: Are you open to co-writing a story?

I love the wind bringing me along with it was my feet and legs work together with my arms, turning over at a rate so fast it acts as my own heart beat. Pain that will only last for at least 20 minutes welcomes me in a strong embrace that I will kindly welcome, leaving the door open as long as it will come and go. I work for that pain so I can receive the pride of winning personal battles. Personal records will always come and go, but running will always be my one true love. For it works with my whole body, it tells me that it loves me, giving good days with good runs. Others I will get scolded for even trying to put on spikes that many other great runners have worn before, because my time is not now and will not happen. I must be ready to achieve the level of greatness that my love wants for me. My love makes me a lion, a hunter, but also a gazelle, gracefully adapted to what I know to do. My first love will give me gifts, perseverance and stamina to complete my goals, because he only wants the best for me. But he will also make my days difficult and proud. Giving me reason to continue going ahead. To continue to love him.

Why I run

This feeling, what is it? Puppy love? A school boy crush? I hope not, I want this feeling to last. This feeling of belonging right where I am and not having to prove myself to get here. I want this to last, I want this to last. I want this peace to keep flowing over me, I want to feel like I am nothing. Because that is what I feel is going to be my escape when everything comes crashing down around me. Because you'll still be here, and I'll still be me.

Inside the Artist #5