Funny How This Is Supposed To Be The Best Time Of My Life, But I Spend 97% Of It Being Miserable, Crying

I feel as if ill never be able to escape my food addiction. I feel prisoned for eternity. I don't want to live like this, but its part of my whole being. It has fuzed itself into every fiber of me. The only way to escape it is to kill myself.

Actually ended up having an amazing day and will continue to do so. And then an amazing week and month.

Not a want but a need

What if you worshipped me? What if you dedicated everything you do to my name? Would you do anything I ask? Would I still be your princess, or will I become your goddess?

Sometimes I just want a loyal follower ♡.

I cant stop thinking about it.

I've just thought it even worse for myself. My dad has multiple of his teeth missing bcs his teeth got fucked up from uncorrect corrections in his teens and i can tell it bothers him. The way he holds his mouth has changed, he tries to hide his teeth when speaking and smiling. And it prevents him from socializing, he used to be so much more sociable when I was little.

And im not scared for the socialization part because I will become a self isolated loser anyways, but now I'm fearing my teeth falling out just like his because I couldn't take basic care of myself. It pains me.

Because of my constant eating during binges and times where i simply was overeating my tooth enamel is completely damaged. And that can nor will never be restored.

My dentist straight up told me I have damaged it already so from now on if I don't stick with very strict, regular meals my teeth will be easily and quickly rittled with holes. But if I haven't been able to do that so far, no matter what. So now I'll just have teeth full of holes, feel constant pain and spend god knows how much trying to keep fixing em to escape atleast some of the pain. Just rip all my teeth out so I could not ruin them further and not chew at all.

I'm just feel sad and devastated. That shit by the age of 19. And for what? Nothing positive or anyhting of resemblance to even show for the years of straight up food addiction.

Is this too much to ask for???

Binge eating has and is destroying my life. It has been so many years I can't even remember when I had a normal idea of food.

I genuinely don't know how to stop. I have stopped doing low cal restriction, I have raised my calories a lot, but I still binge at the end of the day.

I can't live on like this, I just want to escape this body and mind.

A bot just messaged me, advertising a sketchy dating site. I might have attracted the wrong energy lol

What do I have to do to attract a yandere?? Do I have to summon them with a ritual, bring a sacrifice??

How are you doing?

You seem quite stressed for your graduation but I'm sure you did great at school. 🌟

Hey, thank you for asking, and thank you for the cute gif :>

Tbh I don't know how I'm doing haha. To be honest, it just depends on how well I am able to tune out everything at a certain moment lmao

It's almost midnight, but I can't sleep because I can hear my roommates clearly talk even thu my very good ear plugs.